I'm not trying to blame you, you're entitled to your opinion and I don't even think it's wrong, it's just a different interpretation to the one I'm talking about in my post.
As for the found family/polycule thing. You can have multiple headcanons/concepts in mind at the same time. The only moment I settle on one idea is for the duration I'm writing a fanfic, and I often write multiple fanfics which entertain conflicting ideas!
For example, Phanton in my Weaver Queen fic is obsessed with Hornet's divinity, but they're severely disconnected from reality to the point that they're a danger to themself and others. Contrast that with my fic titled "Alive", where they're actually a grounding force for Hornet and Lace, with which they can finally find some rest post-SotV. In my Cruel Sister AU, however, they're being horribly abused by Lace and GMS so much that they're too anxious to even be around them, but in their heart, they're sweet and caring. In another fic idea of mine that I haven't gotten to write yet, Phantom emotionally abuses Hornet during Act 3 so they can feed off her silk— I haven't gotten to this one yet because I'm not in a good enough headspace to try, unfortunately.
All of these ideas cannot exist at once, but they do in different fics, sprung from the same mind. Similarly, Groal and Lugoli can adopt Phantom in one fic and date them in another.
And I am not proposing any of these are canon at all. That is what my analysis posts are for— what are they like, what do they do, what's their story. You can recognize them because they're typically longer and include citations from the game (screenshots or in game text). Posts like the one at the start of this chain are not analysis posts, they're me playing dolls.