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Seungmin: I'm the smartest person in my friend group.

Jeongin: You hang out with Jisung, Hyunjin and Felix.

Jeongin: It's not as high a compliment as you think.

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Dipper: ...This is one of those moments where it doesn't really matter what I have to say, isn't it?

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Hoshi: I'm going bed.

Woozi: Terrible dreams.

Hoshi: Love you too.

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Jisung, trying to impress Minho: I re-initialized the entire command structure, retaining all programmed abilities but deleting the supplementary preference architecture.

Seungmin: He turned it off and back on again.

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Ruffnut: You're pathetic!

Tuffnut: You're pathetic-er!

Snotlout: You're both losers.

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Jongho: How do ethical philosophers feel about murder?

Yeosang: Well, it’s frowned upon.

Jongho: Okay, but what if the reason you want to murder someone is to make your life easier?

Jongho: That’s okay, right?

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Hyunjin: You know what your problem is?

Jisung: I only have one?

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Seokjin: You know, Jimin, when you generalize, you tell general... lies.

Jimin: ...

Jimin: Are you trying to teach me moral lessons through puns?

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Keeho: Hello, my name is Failure, and you're watching my life crumble into pieces.

Keeho: *waves his finger and sings like he's in a Disney Channel intro*

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Felix: I have a question.

Chan: Shoot.

Felix: Is the S or C in scent silent?

Chan: Fuck you, I’m going to be thinking about this all day.

Seungmin: Okay well, cent is pronounced the same way as scent so I’m gonna say the S is silent.

Felix: Okay, but sent is also spelled the same way.

Chan: Google says that the C was added in the late seventeenth century, so I guess the S is silent.

Jisung: Plot twist, both the S and the C are silent and the E actually makes the sss sound.

Chan: Jisung is not allowed to talk anymore.

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Fishlegs: My favorite thing about Gronkles is that when you push them over, they're all like "Oh, I'm lying down now! Someone might scratch my stomach! I might nap! Endless possibilities!"

Tuffnut: Whereas, when you push Terrible Terrors over, they're all like, "Vengeance! Death before dishonor!"

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Seonghwa: Hey, I'm back- oh, for goodness' sake. AGAIN?!

Mingi, crouching on top of the fridge, with a pot on his head and a broom in his hand: I saw another spider. Nowhere is safe. We'll rendezvous in Zimbabwe. I'm burning this place to the ground.

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Chan: Minho, that's disgusting. You're only giving free stuff to people you think are attractive?

Jisung: Yeah, you should be ashamed of yourself.

Minho: Oh yeah? *gets really close to Jisung* How about a muffin on the house?

Jisung, giggling: I'm pretty.

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Jimin: Is there a cactus where your heart should be?

Hoseok: What's up your ass this morning?

Yoongi: *walks in* Hey.

Hoseok: Hmm... nevermind.

Jimin: WAIT NO!

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Beomgyu: I know a song that'll get on your nerves, get on your nerves, get on your nerves-

Soobin: You don't need a song to get on peoples nerves, you do a good enough job on your own.

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Chan: My body is a temple made out of coffee and regret.

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Hongjoong: .... Maybe I do need a nap.

Seonghwa: You needed a nap six days ago. At this point you need a fucking coma.

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