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summary - you don’t know why you do it. you’ve always just been there. fulfilling a want that never gets satisfied. you don’t know if it ever will be even with a new toxic person seeping into your life.
a/n: how to request. it’s been awhile since i’ve watched the show and very much written in a spur. hopefully it’s good ;(
You caressed his hair lightly. As if afraid to wake him up from his slumber. The rubber glove not letting you feel how his body truly felt. Hot, cold, you knew the answer. You wouldn’t feel his warmth again as you stood back, your eyes raking over his body. His body was unbelievably pale, the slits you recognize litter all over his body. The deepest one across their eyes. Those always sounded like it hurts.
You loved his eyes. They were lovely to look at for that short while.
“Y/N?” Pulled out of your thoughts you looked at your classmate with an embarrassed smile. “Yeah what’s up?” Your classmate shook his head at you with a knowing grin as he packed up his papers and notebook.
“Class is already over you were just in your head again.” Apologizing to him again you finally started packing your own stuff up noticing the small crowd by the podium. He was close.
“I’ll catch you later?” You asked leaving him confused. “I thought we were studying?” Walking past him you didn’t even spare him an answer as you went down the stairs with a grin. “Dr.Bloom?” Surprised that someone is interrupting an important looking conversation all eyes were on you. Only wanting the eyes of one specific person you snuck a swift glance at the professor wearing glasses.
“Y/N? You attend this class?” She seemed stunned offering you a comforting hug, letting you glance at who was with her. All important figures technically for the FBI, none that you truly care apart as you pull away from. “Yes I heard amazing reviews about Mr.Graham. Agent Graham? I struggle with names sorry.” You apologized directly at him, observing his disheveled appearance. You were right. He was perfect. The thought excited you as you offered him your hand in introduction, immediately waved off by him with a struggling look. “Agent Graham is fine. And…thank you.” It was as if he struggled to get those words out, a silence that carried in a way that should turn you away. Yet you stay eyeing the papers they had sprawled out, a hand sweeping them away from your prying eyes. Looking up you noticed it was a man dressed formally. Everything about him was perfect. A perfect that you weren’t looking for as you felt a twitch of your eyebrow.
“An ongoing case. Forgive me for not allowing you to see.” His words were final, barely feeling like an apology as you waved him off playfully. “It’s fine I was just surprised to see Alan there.” That seemed to peak their attention making Alana chime in before you can make your exit. “You knew him?” You nod your head fixing your bag on your shoulder trying to play a curious role. What you should give and what should you keep. The choice is all yours. “Yeah we party together every once in a while when he’s down. Haven’t heard from his awhile.” You answer feigning concern for the man you used to know. A distance always between you two only closed after his death, as that was the only time you got away from prying eyes. “Did he do something wrong?” You ask directing it to Alana seeing that she was most appropriate for this conversation. You only knew her, you can’t rely on Will just yet. Information is what can get you guys get closer.
“Did you notice a frequent person he was around? Perhaps someone he relied on for emotional needs?” The man you didn’t know butts in not letting Alana answer you, irritating you further. Looking over at him you noticed his eyes first. How they examined you. More than your physical appearance, something more raw. The thought excited you in a way that wasn’t believable. But it had to be a fluke.
“Maybe this guy called Jacob? He mentioned him in passing that’s all I got sorry.” Directing your apology to Will he nods his head in deep thought. Not bothering to entertain any of your words, as if he came up with a theory already to find the killer. With how he’s waving you off you know then and there he probably is far enough where you can probably take him as the last piece. Not wanting to push your luck you tried waving at him goodbye, “He went missing the 14th. Was there any chance you saw him throughout your day?” Alana cuts in as she went over the file one more time. Not wanting to pull you another time when you look so busy. She knows how busy academy students are especially if you’re taking Will’s course. Wishing she let you be you ‘tried’ remembering the day. “If that day was a weekend or a Friday I was probably at a party.” You answered seeing the three of them share a look with one another.
“Party where?” Will asked finally looking at you with a stressed glare wanting all the information so he can stop this goose chase. “Some frat I’m sorry it was awhile back.” With a sad tone that you couldn’t help more you gave them a disappointed look apologizing you couldn’t help them more.
“I can try something to help you remember. If you don’t mind entrusting some of your time to me?” The man who keeps on irritating you offered, it felt more like an order to do even with that placid smile of his. You looked at Alana, taking tentative steps closer to her, hoping she can help you out of this. “I really don’t mind! But I would feel more comfortable if Alana did the method or whatever.” You tried suggesting with an encouraging look at Alana who seemed to be weighing her options.
“It seems like you’re quite close to Dr.Bloom. That might affect with how you recount your time there. I simply wish to get an unbiased story.” His words solidified with the other two people in the room, as if you were the missing clue to their distorted puzzle. You knew better than to fight it anymore, your defiance might be seen as suspicious. So with a grateful smile you introduced yourself formally to the man. “You don’t have to worry with him Y/N. Dr.Lector is an exceptional psychiatrist. You’re in great hands.” Alana comforted with a gentle hand on your shoulder. You squeezed it thankfully not wanting to stay around any longer.
“I’ll be looking forward to our meeting Ms.L/N.”
Annoyance for a man you have no idea about, picks at your brain in an entertaining way. The laboring breaths of someone behind you lulled you when you were reading the words in the files. Every word written by Will you read with a sense of understanding of his mind. His mind was this dark hole that you can’t seem to want to crawl out of. Would he complete that piece of you that you were missing.
Your ringtone broke you from said thoughts with an unknown number lighting it up. Knowing fully well who it might be you looked back at the figure her whimpers barely heard through the cloth. “Don’t try anything or you’ll know what happens.” You warned, accepting the call just as fast with a cheery tone. “Dr.Lector?”
“You knew it was me?” He asked making you chuckle, eyes scanning the reports Dr.Lector worked on, helping piece Will’s theories/evidence. He seemed to always be around Will’s words, some of his words tainted by Dr.Lector’s influence. You don’t know if this is a bad thing or not. “Believe it or not I don’t have that many people calling me a day.” You confessed with a smile finally closing the file no longer seeing Will’s imagination in play. You wonder how it would be to be him a day.
Hell probably. You’re surprised he hasn’t offed himself already.
“That’s a surprise. A woman like you seems to be surrounded by her peers.” He remarked making you wonder if he has any underlying meaning to those words. He seems straight-cut so you really don’t have to play the ring-a-round with a man like him. Compared to your mentioned ‘peers’ who you needed to lure in with faux curiosity that played up their egos to an unstable amount. At that point they would want to keep you forever in their lives but that’s where the fantasy ends. “I surround myself with those worth my time Dr.Lector. Considering the limited time I have with my studies.” You brought up, a believable half-truth that made him hum to himself in understanding, simply taking your words in face-value.
“Well I hope I’m worthy enough for your time, I’m inviting you to my home for tomorrow at 8.” Your breath stuttered for a moment, making you get up to regulate your thoughts at the invitation. Nothing you expected from a man like him, knowing nothing about him is part of the thrill you suppose. “Is there a reason that it’s at your home?” You asked wanting to understand what the appeal is. What he thinks he knows about you.
“I’m sure you’re going to be famished after…participating in late night activities. It’s good to give your brain a break and refuel with the nutrients needed. It’ll help with relaxation as you recount that night.” Fiddling with your phone you went up to your work table, putting on some rubber gloves while eyeing what’s on there. “That’s one way to look at it.” You mumbled knowing that this was a potential bad idea. Something about this man is throwing you off immensely.
“But I suppose I can make time. 8 at yours?”
“Yes. I’ll send you the address soon. Do have a good rest of your night Ms.L/N.” Short and blunt you two end the call, ending it with a frustrated huff. Positive and negatives float between the two of you. Something about Dr.Lector excites you and equally make you stay on edge. You teeter between liking it and despising it where you wished you would dispose of him. “What do you think?” You asked hoping to clear your mind, you walked up to the girl making her flinch at every step. You put your hands up showing you don’t plan on hurting her, carefully pushing off the cloth from her mouth you see her lips quiver. “I won’t hurt you. Promise.” You offered with a grin taking a seat infront of her, the handcuffs clacking as she tried moving her arm comfortably. She gives you a suspicious look, her fear probably staying for a long time. “Wha-…what do you mean what I think…” She asked tentatively not being able to look at you directly in your eyes making you blow a breath of annoyed air.
“Should I bring a bottle of wine?”
“Ah you really didn’t have to.” You waved him off as you took a step in his beautiful home. It was an old fashioned looking home with intricate wooden details that tied it altogether. Everything about it suited the man standing in-front of you with a cold smile. “You invited me to your home and offered to make dinner. I would be rude to not bring something otherwise.” You tried explaining, understanding the etiquette to a certain extent with someone like Dr.Lector’s caliber. This was the least you can do. “We can pair this with the third dish I made. It’ll bring out the smokiness of the duck with how rich this wine typically is.” He described, leading you to his dining room. If the entrance wasn’t inviting the dining room was a different story. It was gorgeously set up for the two of you dining. A soft melody fills the room as you took a closer step to your chair. You stopped right beside it when you noticed the centerpiece.
It was a silver centerpiece with leaves molded into it that almost looked like a candlestick holder. Yet it held the most beautiful flowers you’ve ever seen bloomed. They were your favorite flowers ever since young. Trimmed where they shone brightly under the dining room light had you stunned. “Beautiful aren’t they. Recently received them from a colleague.” What a coincidence. That’s all you have to see it as. “They’re truly beautiful.” You say in awe, hearing him pull your chair out for you to take a seat. Thanking him you take it and scoot yourself in trying to settle your nerves. Some part of you was disappointed seeing only two plates hoping that for some reason Will could’ve been here. Their strange tie to one another would’ve thought there can be some excuse for him to arrive.
“Allow me to bring the first dish out while I put your bottle to chill.” Thanking him once again you saw him leave leaving you time to admire it once more. The centerpiece drew you in, in a way you didn’t think an object can. The only thing these days were the same archetype of people you take. Taking a closer look you see something engraved into the piece, in a language you couldn’t remember at the top of your head.
“Here we have lamb loin, it’s soft and delicate, with a tinge of sweetness. With a glass of Syrah.” With smooth confidence he placed the dish in-front of you while placing his own. Having the bottle ready he expertly poured it in your glass without spilling a drop. You wonder how much that one drop would’ve cost as you eyed the bottle. Feeling like a broken record you thanked him once again, you would’ve been annoyed you thanked a man this much. But as you eye the plate of food that was just made you restrain yourself. It’s not like a man has ever made you such a nice dish.
“Why did you choose lamb?” You ask politely, stirring a conversation if he’s the type of person to talk over dinner. Even though that was the whole point of your guys’s meeting. “Are not a fan of lamb?” He asked avoiding your question, surprising you as you cut yourself a small piece of it so far. “Never had an interest for it I suppose. It’s not an everyday meat someone eats.” You remark eyeing his own plate. He eats with precision as well as you noted the plating he did with the dish. Minimalistic - no spot out of place to present the poor animal in all its glory. “It’s a shame, if more people tried it I’m sure they’ll be an uptake of need for it.”
“You think so? I didn’t think this dish would be coveted.” He raised his eyebrow at you as if you were words challenged his culinary skills. Or something more so on him. You left him guessing as you took a sip from your wine. A rich, bitter flavor that you knew wine to be paired with. As if a palette cleanser for what you just had. “It’s a soft cut. An animal that has never had a need to truly fight so there was no strain on it. They never got to learn so that’s why it’s the most delicate.” His words hung strange in the air as you hesitated to take another bite out of the dish. He kept on eating, politely picking up a piece with his fork as if his words were everyone’s normal.
“One can taste if an animal needed to struggle. This one obviously didn’t.” Taking a bite from your fork it didn’t have the taste of anything anymore. Your appetite gone as you’re starting to realize the type of man you were sitting beside. “How can you be so sure it didn’t. In the face of death everything struggles.” He seemed to be having fun with your back and forth as an unfamiliar smile graced his lips. “Experience.”
Putting your utensils down he quickly got up picking up the dishes. “I’ll bring the next plate.” Making sure he disappeared into his kitchen you slip a knife into your sleeve quickly. The best exit has to be the front door you can’t play a guessing game of where another door can be. You felt stupid as you realized why you had twinge of excitement when trying to understand Dr.Lector he reminded you of yourself. You wanted to understand yourself more and having a half made reflection of yourself was enough to pull you in. “Duck à l’Orange. A sweeter dish that is best paired with the wine you graciously brought.” You weren’t sure if you wanted to fake your kindness anymore as you saw him pour you another glass.
“The last dish was delicious- I’m sure this one will be the same.” You recounted making him thank you as he took his own seat. “If you don’t mind over this dish may I question you about that night?” You couldn’t be more grateful to talk about the night you kidnapped the man rather than animal comparisons to your probable fate that you think he’s trying to hint at. “What is there to tell?” You ask giving him leeway to start the questioning, not wanting to give him more than he deserves. “Do you recall whose party it was?”
“Yeah it was a friend’s. Amaya usually throws last minute parties. It’s usually invite only.” You explained as he nods his head taking your information with a grain of salt. “I’m sure you already know what happened to your friend?” Swallowing your words you nod your head grimly as if you found out the news right after talking to them. “Yes…my classmate told me about it after I mentioned our conversation. It sucks he was a really good guy y’know.” A distant grieving ‘friend’ is what you really tried portraying. You can’t be too close as they think you’re more involved than they thought or too unaffected that it comes off as worrisome. “I actually don’t. Ms.L/N what exactly was your relationship with Alan?” Chuckling nervously you cut into the meat avoiding his eyes. A bashful girl might be the best type of avoiding plan you can go for. “It wasn’t anything too personal. Just two people who didn’t have enough time to make something out of a spark.” You say regretfully as he stared at you with a glint you recognize. A sip from his wine as he pursed his lips trying to come up with his next words carefully.
“If what you say is true, you should’ve see him from across a room. The human body when attracted to someone naturally pulls to them regardless of circumstance.” Of course you noticed him. You planned this for ages, you had his attention from the start as he had yours. Your body was pulled towards him in an insatiable want that you could never satisfy. And still hadn’t done so.
“Of course I did. He saw me and asked if I wanted a drink. Offered to get me one and never came back.” You concluded taking a sip out of your wine. It was strange how you preferred the cheaper wines compared to his. Was it out of pettiness? You don’t know your mental is something you don’t argue with. “Did you go searching for him?”
“Just briefly but I just assumed he ran into someone.” His dish was gone as yours wasn’t even halfway done. Your dissipated appetite showing in full display for him to see. “Do you recall seeing him talk to anybody?” You try to act like you’re recalling some life changing clue for them to have when coming up with a name. “I only saw him talk to Amaya and her friend when he first got there.”
“Are they close?” Sighing you put your knife and fork down, no longer entertaining the food. “I think? I really couldn’t tell you.” You doubt they were all that close. Atleast during the time he knew you - you were the only girl in his life actively. You made sure of it. You don’t think you can bare the thought of sharing. “Would that idea hurt you?” Startled by his question you looked at him with something you couldn’t hide. A jealousy that you tried masking but as fast as it was gone he was faster to take a note. A raise of his brow was enough for you to realize as he got up to pick up your dish. “I’ll bring us the dessert.” Silently he made his way back leaving you with your thoughts. Your heartbeat trying to tell you to get the hell out of there. Your body wants to run, knowing you can’t fight this if anything were to happen. But your mind isn’t letting you. Telling you to play this out as you weighed your options.
You needed Will. He was the last piece of the puzzle you desperately wanted to understand.
“The final dish, a panna cotta.” No fancy explanation of what the dish is when he placed it in-front of you. Just the name as he set his own in-front of him. “It looks like it’s gonna melt instantly.” You point out tentatively picking up your spoon, his eyes following your movements closely. As if remembering every muscle that you use is the only important thing in-front of him. “You can shake it if you want. But it won’t change shape.”
His words were direct. With no limited airiness that he had prior. This didn’t feel like the Dr.Lector he was introduced as. He was waiting for you to take a bite, you weren’t sure to compare him to a hunter. His eyes following you felt as such but devoid of a hunters typical spirit. His eyes laid your soul bare and he peered into it - unblinking. Something in his dissecting stare gave you a comforting you didn’t know you can find in him.
“Dr.Lec-.”
“Hannibal.”
Swallowing thickly you looked him directly in the eyes with gaze that he can only describe as a mimic. Someone like you should be described as a doll catching your moments of respite as your eyes glaze over. But you mimic emotions and actions scarily well; that he was sure Will would’ve had difficulty knowing it was you. Especially with your own connection with the beloved Dr.Bloom. And he couldn’t ignore the look you gave towards Will. It was more than an adoration that a student has with their professor. It was something more perverted.
“Did you get all the information you wanted?” And yet you act as if you’ve done no wrong. With a flutter of your eyelashes and a doe-eyed you look you’ve probably fooled a number of easy minded folks. Your performance was something he coveted. He wished he saw this more just crass murderers whose reasons are nothing just. Maybe you would be another in his list of such crass killers when he finds out the true reason.
“What do you want with Agent Graham?”
You knew it. You knew he was another a version of you. You just wished you didn’t waste your breath on such trivial answers.
“I want to kill him.” A hum of almost approval mixed with the melody that still bled into the background. “This was the first time during this night you were honest with me.” He pointed out making you smile knowing he caught you painfully easy. “Can you tell me the reason why? I can’t let you leave her knowing you’ll hurt such a colleague.” He was a strange man. He wasn’t jumping the gun to kill you but you knew it was coming now. Your fate was laid out in the dishes, the answers you chose just finalized it. You are expendable to him. “I want to understand when I’ll stop. If it’s possible for someone like me. It’s not like I enjoy the act. But it’s not like I’m shedding tears whenever I do - do it. I just selfishly wish to understand my mind before I go.”
You answered truthfully he got up to the corner of his room where he picked a dark folder before placing it back where he was sitting. Opening it you see clipped at the very top was your picture. One of you young, and a more recent one when you joined the academy. He invaded your life trying to understand every detail of your existence. And there was nothing. Nothing he can do to aid that mind of yours that answer you’re trying to covet. He doesn’t know if some part of you knows even Will wouldn’t be able to tell you. You were destined for this fate pathetically so. You were an art piece he didn’t want anyone to have as he looks at your disastrous beauty. Only his eyes can begin dissecting what you are, what are you to become. He wonder what cards are laid out for someone like you in life. “A mind like yours is going to take time to even get close to wanting to be understood.”
He only has two options for someone like you. He can cage you. You are his to understand and only his. You will continue what you do with someone like him in the background while he runs scenarios with you. If he is capable of loving an art that is as disgusting as you. He’s sure he can. He doesn’t know if it’s your actions or your mind that is pulling him in to a fate that might be worse than death. But if he lays next to a beautiful distorted mind like his then it’s perhaps a fate he deserves.
The next option is to strangle you right here right now. He doesn’t know if he can bare with the idea of anyone trying to understand you. You will get caught and when you do you’ll let them in hopes someone can fill that satisfaction you’re craving. Your mind isn’t something that everyone deserves only for someone like him to mold. You won’t get any other hunting ground like his. You need him. You wouldn’t survive longer without him.
Maybe the thought irritated him more than he thought. Your reaction to his words blurred in his mind as he got up. Your eyes followed him making you get up just as quickly. It was instantaneous - his lunge at you gave you barely enough time to stab the knife his shoulder, a pathetic mistake he thought. Dropping both of you onto the floor you tried crawling back away reaching for the cart beside you, which he quickly thwarted when grabbing your legs and pulling them down. Pinning your legs underneath his weight gave you enough time to grab a decorative piece and smash it over his head. Stunning him he fell over to his side gripping his head. Kicking him off you stumbled to get up trying to run for the door. The adrenaline filling your body as you realized you ran directly for the kitchen regretting your choice almost instantly when you heard his footsteps behind you. Giving you practically no time to fully turn he grabbed you by the neck making your hand instinctively go for it as he threw you across the counter. Yelping as your back made impact with the counters when you slid off you felt all the air knocked out of you.
“N-not fair.” You panted trying to find your grip on the counter to steady yourself, heavy footsteps coming towards you. He made no note to hide them. Wanting you to know he’s always around you. “Nothing in life is fair dear. I’m sure you’ve been taught this.” Grabbing a knife from his holder you gripped onto it tightly, laser focused on every movement of his. Where to slash, where you can drag it, where you can even get close to. And you came to terms with what you can do without a second more. Either run or die. You can’t kill this man.
You’ve been cornered. You won’t be able to finish your wants. The thought pained you more than you thought.
“Typically the person would look afraid coming to terms with their death.” Hannibal pointed out each step making you take another backwards. Circling the counter was all you can do until you can catch your breath. And he was letting you do so. “I’m not afraid. More pained.” He shook his head in amusement as he tried swiping the knife away which a quick slash deflected the attempt. He knows he can win without a weapon. Where you think is the direction of the door you make a run for it, the wooden door in your line of sight as you reach for the knob before feeling a handful of your hair being grabbed. Wincing you tried stabbing behind you, but it was as if he wasn’t afraid of your attempt as you narrowly nicked him, pulling your hair down to the floor with a resounding thud. Your vision blurred feeling if anything harder would’ve knocked you out cold. You weren’t used to this. Nothing about this was normal, he would’ve been subdued before you started to mess with him. You were screwed from the start. The thought did nothing to scare you or comfort you. It was just a fact. In your blurred vision you see him stalk over you. Slowly deliberate movements as you see him take away the things around you. The potted plant, the light stand, he moved it all as you tried crawling to each item. Taking in the sight of you reaching. It wasn’t desperation he noted. You didn’t seem exactly keened on having an extreme want to live. You simply hadn’t lost yet. You weren’t dead.
He wanted to test a theory.
Flipping you over he pinned your arms over your head, you struggled against him trying to use your hips to get him off. It was no use he was sucking out all the air from you with his weight. Wearing you down even further as he observed you. You weren’t looking at him, he wasn’t sure if you can as he saw blood drip into one of your eyes from your head wound. You were still trying. But there was no fire. Yet you tried.
Before you can take advantage of him letting go of your hands his own wrapped tightly around your neck. The tight grip unfamiliar to you as you grit your teeth in pain by the hold. And there he saw it. The realization of losing. It wasn’t a bitter look, just an acknowledgment of a lost. It was a pained grin as your nails dug into the top of his hands. Peeling his skin as he looked at you with no pain. Wanting to leave him with a tiny bit of pain before you go. You’re done.
“You are someone so moldable.”
He can’t let this go. The thought is almost too painful. You will be his destruction if he isn’t careful. He sees it. The sight of someone dying and just as quickly he loosens the grip to only smash your head onto the floor knocking you out cold. Your arms falling limply onto the floor your hair tussled over your face so for once he can’t see your expression. Maybe that’s for the better as he took in the mess of his home. He looks down at you with a tsk his fingers making sure to find a pulse before he leaves. Finding one he goes to clean up his home leaving you there to recover. It was slow and meticulous as he fixed himself and the house. It took him 2 hours before he was finally by your side. Clearing the hair out of your face he sees you, “Anyone could kill you.” He muttered his fingers tracing the blooming bruise around her neck. It didn’t even stir you as he patched up your head sure the pain would’ve woken you up. He cleaned up the blood on your face taking in every feature. The shape of your nose, your lips, your eyes. Everything of yours to remember is his. He wants to ingrain it in his mind for no future mistake.
He places you down on the bed as he twirls your hair examining your body. He could’ve been harsher. He has been before significantly more. Maybe some part of him knew he wanted to keep you around a tiny bit more. He can think more about it tomorrow as he gets himself ready for bed.
It felt like a half ass one night stand, when you finally woke up. The pounding in your head almost preventing you from opening your eyes, your eyelids heavy with exhaustion. You took heavy breaths as you didn’t recognize the ceiling above you. Sucking in a pained breath you slowly turned your head as your eyes widen, recognizing who was beside you. “Did I-?” Feeling your clothes on you, he didn’t stir at your slight movement. Glad he doesn’t have an arm on you, you slowly slipped out of bed. You still had your clothes on from last night feeling the dirtiness from last night. You can barely swallow remembering where his hands were. Your fingers ghosted over the no doubt disgusting bruise, something you would have to hide soon enough. He placed a cup of water beside you, with some pills and your phone. How polite.
You rolled your eyes easily accepting the gesture. You want to stop the pain as quickly as you can taking the pill and water simultaneously. “Did you wake up alright?” You didn’t turn to the sound of his voice, your fingers only gripped the cup tighter when feeling him get closer behind you. “Just a nod is fine.” He said realizing how much of a grip he had around your neck. You can probably speak but there’ll probably be a strain when doing so. You nod, feeling his hand lay gently on your shoulder. A small caress up and down it to try to ease your nerves. You don’t know if anything can. You were supposed to die.
Why did someone like him pity you. You look at him as he places himself beside you. Both of your eyes connecting, with swirls of emotions that interlace with one another. His emotions became yours as he placed a soft kiss on your shoulder when he got what he needed his lips lingering. “Would you like an easy breakfast?” He asked, letting you feel his breath fan on your shoulder. You nod your head feeling him smile softly against the blade of it before pulling away. His gift to you. His cooking, he’s sure you’ll learn to enjoy it at every passing day with one another. He gets up walking to his closet pulling out a bag familiar to you. “I took the liberty of going to your apartment to grab you a change of clothes.” Helping you take out the two options he laid them out for you to make it easier. “If I’m not mistaken you do have a class later on. It’ll be improper if you arrive with the clothes from the day before.” With another nod he left you to fix up your guy’s breakfast.
Entering his bathroom you finally realize how you look. The blood crusted from the bandage leaving you look more injured than you are. Leaving the light off you can still tell the bruise on your neck is obvious. Your hands instinctively went up to your own neck remembering his around yours. The look in his eyes when above you, is of someone that knew he was in power. Yet he spared you. He saw something in you and decided that was reason enough.
You aren’t grateful for it. Splashing your face with water you’re not too comfortable with taking a shower at his place. Not that you be too bothered if you were found dead and naked. You would just prefer dead and clothed to be more like it. Breathing in air finally alone in a room your gears turn wondering what plans you need to do. You’re behind on schedule, the girl was supposed to be dumped off already while you kidnapped the said friend. You should leave her to starve at this point leaving you exasperated at the timing of this all. You changed into your clothes noting the blooming bruises littered across your body. The throw across the counter did you in as you winced after every move. Hearing a knock at the door you shoved your phone in your picked and opened it carefully, looking up to seeing Hannibal standing there. With a passive smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “Breakfast is ready.” Motioning for you to walk out, you quickly did ignoring the pain in your legs. Not wanting any help he followed close behind you. Too close for someone who doesn’t trust you’ll make it to the dining chair.
Yet you do taking in the nicely plated breakfast for you both. A yogurt bowl with soft fruits paired with it, and a nice glass of orange juice beside it. “Thank you.” You muttered picking up your spoon to try his healthy looking breakfast. “Of course. It should be easy to eat - your neck should heal fully in a couple of weeks.” How delightful. Not offering him a smile you see his attention on a thick list of files. You know some part of you should care if maybe one of those files has you involved but your phone itched in your pocket. Fishing it out your belief is made true when you see the notification flowing from it. Your cameras have all been triggered, with spam of messages from social media and your classmates. Links of news articles from different sources but all of the same topic. Another body was found delicately murdered the same as the others. If delicate is the term in regards to any of this.
The only two differences is that it wasn’t another man this time. And it wasn’t done with your hands. Yet it was your exact work exactly. Every detail, every slash measured expertly, exactly how you like your work to be seen as. And another girl was missing. Her friend. Checking your cameras your eyes widen seeing that it was no longer Amaya yet her friend who is currently tugging at her handcuffs in desperation. You let out a shaky breath an excitement that rose in your you didn’t know was possible. You softly touched your lips in an attempt at hiding your smile when you connected said dots. It wasn’t too complicated as the dot landed on the man beside you, whose eyes stayed on the files. He made no effort to claim what is yours. He copied you in a way you didn’t think was possible. How he took care of the body before and after death. Everything in between was done perfectly and you have another one in your possession. “Can you do it again?” You whispered to him but he heard the excitement tilt in your voice when asking. And when he finally looked at you, your eyes shined brighter than he ever thought possible with someone like you.
It wasn’t the idea of murder that excited you he studied. Just the fact that someone wanted to copy you to perfection and was done.
“For you my dear - I can.”
He hadn’t had the pleasure of seeing it yet, but when you looked at him with that grateful smile of yours. He couldn’t explain the feeling in his chest. It wasn’t love. A possession he can’t explain when he looks at that smile, with a twinge of delight sparkling in your eyes. He wonders if you look at them like that when you talk to your ‘lovers.’
He doesn’t understand your true goal with every body you claim but perhaps the copying can help him to do so. If anything he can make due for a while with that excited glint in your eyes when you looked at him with some type of adoration.
You were looking forward to the potential Hannibal has. You hope he doesn’t disappoint you.
“Will?” He turned to you with a confused look. It’s been months now since the last time you ran into the three of them. Usually he’s seen you in his class but after your supposed interview with Hannibal you fell off from the face of the map. Taking your studies elsewhere with a special exemption done with your skills. He’s tracked your progress finding the timing strange just as much as you being associated with Hannibal now. Alana was worried for you but you only provided cold one word responses. He knows something happened that night but he couldn’t figure out what, just like he couldn’t solve the murders of those college students. The CK killer. He couldn’t figure out why it fell cold just so quickly. You were intertwined with all this but you were cleared almost instantly. Hannibal cleared your first alibi and your second. And there was no room to doubt who you were. A regular academy student now agent. The thought made him sick. Your existence made him sick.
“It’s been so long! How has it been?” You ask with a grin flashing your badge at the police on the scene, going under the police tape. He sees you walk towards him with the same attitude he’s seen on you before. But there was something laced with it that messed with his mind more than he’s willing to admit. “Fine. Just been working on cases, why are you here?” His tone almost sounded accusing making your smile go a little wider. It’s been so long since you’ve seen him, you understand why Hannibal kept you away for so long. You really wouldn’t be able to help yourself - maybe this was your test. “Dr.Bloom couldn’t come and give a second opinion so they sent me since I’ve worked with her so closely and Hannibal.”
“Hannibal?” Will asked with a raise eyebrow, was that a slip on purpose. He doesn’t know with you as he sees you standing there unfaltering. As if you’re dangling something he should know in front of him. “Forgive me, Dr.Lector. I’ve been just working with them closely. But I wanted to ask you how did that case go?” You ask walking towards the grave sight an innocent kid came across. It was hard to miss as you see the outstretched hands from the graves, portrayed hauntingly to anyone who sees. “Which one?” He knew what you were talking about but your almost smug look had his imagination running rampant. Only one other person had his mind in shambles like this - when he can’t get haunted by one the other one arrives. “With those college students?” You asked obliviously - his glare following you as you examine the crime scene. Giving some remarks as you circled the scene taking an account of everything. He sees your eyebrows furrow as if running through all the possibilities, even though there was a permanent content smile on your face. One that doesn’t reach your eyes like a familiar man. “It went cold. The killer stopped hunting.”
“Do you believe that?” His eyes shoot up to meet yours who were already dead on his. “Why does it matter what I think. The case was closed it doesn’t matter.” He says bitterly, recounting the conversations he had and the blowback they received when there was no more progress. Everyone was stuck and the families couldn’t rest knowing they didn’t solve anything. “You were hired for your mind Will. All we care about is what you think.” You remarked playfully tapping your temple. He knows no one would believe him if he says he thinks you’re involved more than you’re letting on as you made it your duty to be everyone’s light. But he would rather die than let you get off with no consequences. “This has to be a high schooler. I’ll write a joint report with Dr.Lector and have it sent over immediately.” You concluded as you gave a Will a curt wave walking off the scene. “Can I-!”
You see Will stutter in between his words, giving him some time to gather his thoughts. “Can I run some ideas through you.” It was hard to hide your feelings as you remembered the day you solidified you were going to kill him. You are close once again, and you can’t let it slip away. “Of course. I’ll be looking forward to it.” Leaving him with his thoughts you made it to the waiting car pulled away from the crime scene, specifically from Will. Climbing in it was the mirror you’ve been forging over the last couple of months. A mirror so intricate you’re not too sure if you’re enjoying the results of it. “How was your interaction with Will?” He asked ever so politely more so in trying to understand your intentions quickly.
“You don’t have to know every bit of my life, Doctor.” His jaw tightened, barely able to cast you a glance as he drove back to your home. You notice his fingers gripping onto the wheel tighter, reminding you what he’s willing to do with those exact ones if you push him far enough. “This is one part I do need to know.” His underlying threat goes out the other ear as you glanced out the window, noticing how he’s picking up his speed. Thankfully your house was close so you can end this conversation soon. “I don’t want our relationship to get boring so can you blame me?” You say as a half-truth not wanting this to end so quickly. Maybe a couple more years before you can put an end to it but now this is yours to keep. You don’t want him obsessed with every minor details of yours but you already know that’s where he thrives in. A want for perfection. Maybe that’s why you had such an obsession with him as a response. Is he aware of it? You don’t want to know. “It will never get boring with people like us.” He tried warming you up which you turned away coldly seeing him park at the usual spot to drop you off. “Because of all the efforts I put into it.” Opening the door you gave him a playful wink, “I’ll see you tomorrow Dr.Lector.”
“Enjoy your gift Y/N.” Driving away he left you confused by his words looking at the front door not seeing any gift/meaning to his words. Walking up to your door you went to go unlock it but quickly noticed how it was already cracked open. Your hand hovering your gun you pushed open the door taking careful steps to not make any noise. Shutting the door quietly you sneaked in your own home clearing your main rooms. Nothing was moved out of place as you checked with bated breath. The last room was your bedroom, just like your front door it was cracked open compared to it usually being closed. Pulling out your gun you positioned it in-front of you lightly tapping the door open rushing in.
There was no point as you halted with a burst of giggles bubbling out of your throat. It was insane as you couldn’t stop laughing when looking in front of you. Tears were coming out of your eyes when you realize what happened. You were with an insane person through and through. His art was incredible in a way no man can understand, god barely you can understand it yourself. Taking closer steps your hands hovered over the piece made in front of you.
Skin. Human skin. Made to an art piece to a delicate picture you only share with Hannibal. The blood was still dripping from it pooling underneath your feet. Noticing a delicate looking box from below the piece caught your attention as you reached down for it. Small like a ring box. Cracking it open you couldn’t stop the gasp that escaped your lips when admiring the ring. A jagged gold and silver ring that you can never imagine abled to be mixed. An intricate diamond placed in the middle that wasn’t overly compensating for what it was. It was delicately molded with beautiful cursive within the band. A simple ‘darling’ but that’s all you needed, and as you slipped it on the jagged cuts made you hiss in pain. But it was so temporary that it made it all worth it as your outstretched hand against the skin showed the creation of the ring. So hauntingly beautiful that you never thought you would be able to have in this lifetime.
Your phone buzzed and as you took out your phone you see it.
Enjoy it.
As if it was a command it made you scoff in response. But here you are doing so falling onto your bed while admiring it. You couldn’t care less for the ‘art piece’ he made you now your attention solely on the painful ring. You wondered if he knew your attention falters whenever there is something new. A satisfaction that you can never reach. You hear your doorbell go off along with your camera. Opening the app you see an antsy looking man.
It was Will.
Your grin got wider not realizing he would take you up on your offer so quickly.
I will. Guess you saved him once again.
There was no doubt this would start another argument.
“You are so lovely.” He muttered above you, your arms above you pinned with hair sprawled in a familiar scene. Your eyes following his, your body indicating a comfortability that no one in your position should have. But there you are below him with a look that he’s slowly growing to hate. Each day that ends something that’s been in him is festering, growing to a level he won’t know the limit of. You are a disastrous mess of a person that he can’t help but be enthralled by. A mess he would never allow himself to be so he’s experiencing it through you. That was enough for him as he peppered against your neck, feeling you squirm underneath him, with no actual want of getting himself off. Each kiss he felt your cold skin against his lips, wanting to use his body to warm you up to forever put you to sleep.
Would that be the best fate for you two?
Going back up your neck to the corner of your mouth he pressed soft kisses seeing you shut your eyes in quiet enjoyment. Only letting out a quiet hum as you let him do whatever he wanted which he loved. Caressing your cheek softly his mouth wandered lower, lingering at your chest. His mouth opened above your chest and took in a piece of your skin, sucking it slightly making you take in a sharp breath not expecting the sudden action. Sucking it softly his eyes wandered up to yours that were still shut but now with a turned head, feeling your body warm up against him now. Pulling away he sees the mark he left wanting to make more almost instantly. His want to mark you is something you deal with as you feel him get harder against you at the thought. This possessive nature was your golden ticket as you finally opened your eyes peering down at him. At your stomach he licked it softly before biting it harshly making you gasp in pain, your hands flying at his shoulders trying to stabilize yourself. Heavy breaths you gripped onto him tightly as you bit your lip afraid of being louder. He didn’t need to tell you to stop doing that as he bit down harder making you shriek in pain, your hands snaking to the back of his head before pulling it harshly back. A dribble of your own blood falling from his lips with a shameless smirk.
Another mark he’ll love to trace with his fingers and pinch throughout the day to remind him what he left on you. “God…you are a sight.” You muttered letting your hand fall to his chin swiping your blood softly from his lips smearing it on his face. Licking the bite softly you gripped his hair tightly making him groan against your stomach making you sigh softly. You pushed his hair back admiring the view you have of his face, small moments you two rarely share, busy yet intertwined in a way you two can never get away from. Unless one of you two finally die like the world needs you to. “I can say the same thing about you. Perhaps even more.” He came back to your line of sight equally making you wonder if this person is capable of anything normal. His lips narrowly missed your own pressing a soft kiss beside it before pulling you in for a lengthy one. Gripping the back of your head he pulled your body closer not allowing you any space to breathe. He bit your lips harshly making you open your mouth for him to explore. Your body feeling hot against his as your moan was drowned out by his kiss, a messy desperate kiss that allowed his hands to explore you. Groaning against you he wanted to remember every part, every taste of you. The taste of blood being shared between you two as he enjoyed the added taste. Squeezing your waist you moaned in pain making him smile against your lips, before pulling away to admire who he left. A panting, disheveled, dazed mess just how he loved it.
“I love you.” He confessed searching your eyes for a confirmation of what you just heard. Still breathing heavily you giggled, “No. You really don’t.” You spread your arms out to him which he fell into, holding you tight as if he wanted to stop your airflow once more. The feeling made you warm as you held onto him even tighter your arms around his neck, close to choking him. “You don’t need to say such words to someone like me.” You muttered staring up at the ceiling your hands now drifting to his hair. His once perfectly done hair a mess because of your hands and only yours. A privilege that only he allowed you to have. “Your love is a distorted mess that I can’t reciprocate.” Pushing him slightly off and for once he doesn’t want to look at you. He is incapable of looking at you and that was more than perfect. He was a perfection you can’t come close to being, being around it was enough. “If you truly did love me-.” You grab his hands softly bringing them up to your neck, interlocking your fingers with his. “Would you kill me?” His eyes snapped back to you with an angry glare but you didn’t falter. You moved your fingers away from his and places a firm hand over his against your neck, with a warm smile. “Do you think you are capable? I would want you to be the one.” Holding his hand tighter you feel him ease into it instantly as he gripped your throat tighter making you wince.
“Only someone like you can kill me, got it?” You say feeling his hands tighten around your neck, his face contorted with anger. An anger you don’t care to understand as you shut your eyes, feeling every finger tighten around it as you finally struggled to breathe. Your hands grabbed his arms in reflex, your nails digging into his arm as you tried focusing on his face. His heavy breaths against you no longer aiding comfort feeling your vision darken, it was as if he knew pulling his hands away quickly letting you gasp for air. Your hands grabbed your throat, turning to your side gasping for air. Spit dribbled all over your chin as you focused on the tiny detail at the nightstand, your thoughts in overdrive knowing what you asked. “You don’t get to ask me that.” Hannibal finally said, anger laced in his voice, his hands shifting through his hair in frustration. “If I want to kill you I will. You don’t get to do this to me.” He yelled making you jump never hearing him raise your voice at you.
“You’re pathetic.” You cut in making him scowl his hands snaking to your stomach swiftly and pinching it harshly where he bit. Doubling over you grit your teeth, his smile yet to return how it usually does. Just glowering at you as your words angered him more than he thought it would. If this is not love what is it? An obsession? It can’t be something as trivial as this.
“I.” A kiss to your neck.
“Love.” A kiss to your forehead.
“You.” Expecting a harsh kiss when all he does is take he just pressed his lips against yours. A feather-like kiss leaving you wanting more. His confession didn’t sound like one of love but more as a threat. Glancing up at his eyes there was no love for you when looking back, and finally something you now realize what it was. You pulled him in again realizing how you should’ve played this all along.
“I love you to.” You lied. It was a sweet lie.
And he knew fully well you were.
With a kiss on his shoulder you both laid there suffering in each other’s presence but made no effort to move away.
Finding solace with one another until he can finally finish his final act of love for someone like you.
summary - refusing to accept a love that is pure, letting yourself doubt every one of his movements. max simply wants you and is willing to understand every part of you, even the parts you hate
notes: i gotta start using 3 for him now don’t i ;( - also it’s been awhile since ive written and if you can tell no you don’t
His heartbeat was all you can hear, his warmth enveloping your body as you laid your head against his chest. Your body was already used to his snores as you wonder sometimes if he's going to choke. The amount of times you recorded him to show him the next day always puts a smile on your face. Even with the obvious proof he always tries to deny it with an embarrassed grin.
This was your beloved routine. Always after a long night of showing the love you shared for one another, you laid there. It was always him drifting off to sleep first, his busy schedule barely fitting you into it. But he always made time. No matter how compact it is, he always found the time. Even when time and time again you said it was fine. He never wanted to disappoint you.
That’s what made your heart ache. You would’ve given up by now. But he always tried. Even if you guys were technically nothing. You wanted him to give up so badly for both of your sakes.
He made you feel like something.
And knowing you can’t reciprocate the same killed you.
It took everything in you to push yourself off of him. His warmth always wanting to lull you in some faux security. Feeling his arm tighten around you every once in a while. And in his half lucid sleep he’ll wake up to give you a kiss on your cheek. Just as quickly snoring back into your ear as you can’t help but chuckle. It felt like you were worth something. But you knew better, this type of love was never going to last. It wasn’t yours to keep.
Throwing on your clothes as quietly as you can, not knowing of the random twitch he goes through is going to be the one that wakes him up. You love him. You swear you do.
But you don’t want to.
Going back home at 4am has became routine. Even when he texts you later in the day to remind you that you didn’t have to. That his home was available to you at anytime of day and he was willing to drop you off. You always politely declined. Not wanting to push your luck any further. Every other action you two shared was already pushing said luck. But you convinced yourself these smaller actions would throw you in the deep end, those things he offer will tempt you and finally make you give in.
“Do you want to try?” You peek at him as he tugged you away from your deprecating thoughts with slight curiosity as he motioned towards his sim. You always watched him play on it but never had the nerve to ask him to play. You always thought it was just his, not knowing you could’ve asked him anything in the world and he would’ve given it.
“I don’t know… aren’t you scared?” You asked in faux concern making him look at you confused.
“That I’m going to beat you.” You say in a teasing tone, giggling at his tired sigh in return. But he let you. Setting it up for you when you weren’t looking to make it seem like you beat it at a difficult setting just to see the smile on your face.
It was worth it.
Everything about you was worth it.
He never asked you to be more. He sees the expression on your face when he does anything remotely similar to a kind boyfriend. He ignores the feeling that reaches his throat that makes it hard to swallow as he tries to ignore the expression you give him. To him being called your boyfriend is the biggest blessing you could give him. But to you - you made it seem like a curse. So he swallows back his pride, his hurt, his want for you. And tucks it in a place that can simply admire you.
“He was in my way! This game is so-…” He chuckled as he took in the sight of you ruffling with your hair in frustration. He can only assume what happened since he won’t admit to you - that it was only you he was looking at. You let out a sigh of frustration as you finally looked back at him with a sheepish grin. “Guess you were all talk?” You didn’t miss the cockiness in his tone, making you roll your eyes as you got back up.
“You didn’t want another round?” He asked, which you quickly shook your head. “I need to head out already. I got some 3 old day leftovers I need to get into.” Internally wincing at your shotty excuse of needing to escape this too kind of a home. You see him bite the inside of his cheek, his eyes scanning over your face as he was trying to find anything he can use. All you can do is smile at him politely, creating that distance you’ve always placed. Max knew fully well you were doing, and his only response was a strained smile. The one that always terrifies you that this was the final straw. That all this pushing will finally give you what you want.
Even if it’s anything but. You hated yourself for being so hypocritical but you couldn’t help it. Being so self-aware does nothing for you, it’s always there just as a reminder. Picking up your bag you fall into a similar routine. He’s always right behind you, following you closely behind so he can kiss you goodbye. To hug you and act like he’s sending you off to work. To overthink when the next day it’s going to be, and how you’re going to react with him. The only times you’ll let him send you off considering you leave him in bed at 4am with no heads up.
He guides you to his door letting himself lean against the doorframe with a smile you couldn’t decipher. You couldn’t decipher anything in this home. Giving you a soft kiss on the top of your head, you waved at him, polite, distant. This is what you wanted as he gave you one back. With his hoodie on you entered your car barely sparing him a glance. Pulling out the driveway the empty feeling never left. The what-ifs if you actually gave in.
Maybe some part of him knew, knew that terrified side of you. His own way of reaching out to someone like you as you glanced at your car screen. You simply had him as M with no photo in your contacts when you remembered glancing at his and you saw yours. Yeah it was your full name but you tried ignoring the heart right beside it. And the stupid photo he took of you with the biggest grin you ever saw on him. It’s hard to believe anyone can think he’s this terrifying person. You didn’t mean to practically brake-check the person behind you as you refused to make eye-contact when they pulled up beside you, you just finally acknowledged the message that made you full stop.
M
Can I make you dinner?
Simple wording. Yet they changed whatever dynamic you guys call whatever this is. You try to ignore the message, feeling its burning presence in the passenger seat as you tried driving home. This was the worst thing he could’ve done. Why would he do this to you? The thoughts clawed at you as you tried just focusing on getting home.
Trying to rationalize the sudden change of just a what are you doing text? To this. You didn’t want it. You tried calming yourself as you made your way into your apartment, your hand feeling heavy with the reason why this started. You felt it vibrate again.
Wondering if he really double texted your eyes widen seeing a familiar contact name. A name with a heart. And a picture of eyes you once loved, the ones you truly thought you were going to marry.
He hasn’t heard from you in exactly 2 weeks. He was in his head about how he understands you, and the distance was enough. Obviously greed and pride go hand in hand with him. He couldn’t help it, he wants more. So much more with only you. His performance slightly lacking in certain areas in exchange, everyone saw it. The anger he’s pushing onto the track making some drivers around him do a double take. No one wanting to get too close besides his usual partner in crime.
“You okay mate?” After a disappointing performance, landing himself in 10th the grip he had on his can was sign enough. Currently hating the Spain track he can barely offer Charles a strained smile. He can see the sympathetic smile he offers back, taking a close seat next to him. “Something bothering you?” Max let out a heavy sigh as he wiped the sweat from his hair tossing the towel to the side. Trying to come up with the words that can even compare to what he’s feeling. Stupidly he didn’t even know what he was feeling.
“I don’t know. My car was shit, I was screwed from the start. I did what I could.” Max explained immediately catching the raised eyebrow he was receiving back. He felt his jaw tighten as he thought about how easy Charles can read him, knowing he’s going to face what he needs to. “You want to try again?” Charles said in a lightly teasing tone, still trying to keep the air of serious between them two. He can’t help but feel embarrassed feeling like a teenage boy knowing what was a part of the problem. “It’s this girl I’ve been seeing…” He starts trying to gauge Charles’s reaction, and a friend of years he’s just there. Giving him space to explain.
“I obviously like her - I’m not stupid I know I’m embarrassingly in love with her.”
“Oh!” Ignoring Charles shocked noise he tried continuing. “But it’s obvious she doesn’t want anything, as if she’s scared of something. I asked her if I can make her dinner and she left me on delivered for two weeks.” He finished as Charles tried taking in all the info that was given. Emphasizing his embarrassing point he showed his phone with the very much unseen message. He sees Charles’s eyes scan his phone before seeing his expression morph into something familiar.
“I know her.” Max wished he ignored the flip of his heart hearing about a potential way of getting closer to her. Not curious that Charles somehow knew you. “This is Alexandra’s friend… are you the guy she always comes crying about!?” Charles accused concerned if his friend was really the person you were venting to Alexandra about. You two aren’t particularly close but sometimes Alexandra would bring him for his point of view. And from what he’s heard the man you’ve been seeing isn’t a good one. “Crying?!” He knew you were scared of him. But in terms of commitment he didn’t realize he was making your life a hell when he’s seen heaven ever since knowing you. He wants to get on his knees and apologize to you, refusing to believe he’s even hurt you. “Yeah she’s been ranting to Alexandra about him for the past year.”
Stilling in his tracks the math didn’t make sense. He met you 5 months ago not exactly a year or so. “That’s not me.” There was another man in your life that you shared moments with?
A little hurt.
More hurt than he’s letting his own heart let on.
Charles paused trying to not overthink the words he just said as he sees the gears turning in Max’s head. A plan that he’s no doubt getting dragged into.
———————
The wine you’ve been coddling has been your lifeline throughout the party. Taking another gulp you finished your cup quickly replacing it with another as a waiter walked by.
Trying to be a good friend to Alexandra by joining one of her events finally, a part of you is starting to regret it. Unfamiliar faces pass you as they all seem to have some type of connection with one another. You were the odd one out. Only knowing Alexandra by helping her when she was about to be scammed by some sales associate. You weren’t close to their levels of status but she was thankful ever since. Helping you start a relationship with one another that you grew to be grateful for. Not so much right now as you find a free empty table sitting down as you took in the crowd.
Maybe another hour and you’ll leave to be respectful. A part of your mind wandered as you saw some of Charles’s friends in a distance. You didn’t know all their names but some part of you knew they were connected to racing. The only reason why you knew F1 existed was because of Alexandra, and the small investment you put into learning it was because of-.
The thought pained you as your mind wandered to the name that you wanted to forget. Your hand instinctively went for your phone as you opened your messages. The M that reminds you everytime what you’re doing to yourself. It was too late to answer. Too much time has passed and what can you even say now?
I missed you?
I want to see you?
What are you up to?
You feel like some dirty hookup that lost something pure. You don’t deserve his kindness as your memories went to the night you saw his messages. The offer tainted by the messages you saw right after.
You busy?
You typed out letting it linger as you picked up your wine cup again. Liquid encouragement maybe? Taking a huge gulp you wince slightly still feeling pained by each swig. Your face feels flushed as your body feels warm as you tapped the table insistently. Do you deserve to send him this?
“Fuck it…” You mumbled as you quickly sent and shoved your phone away from you. You feel your leg shake consistently as you finished another glass. Your heart flipped feeling the phone vibrate against the table. You knew it was him.
The thought doesn’t give you any comfort.
Regretting your message maybe this is what you needed to do. Stay away from him so he can find someone healthier, better. Someone that isn’t you.
Bitterly so - you don’t want it to be anyone else. Selfishly you always wanted it to be you by his side.
“Were you going to leave me on delivered for another three weeks?” The familiar voice was filled with hurt. That’s all you do.
You didn’t need to turn around to see who it was, he was already pulling a seat next to you. He cleaned up well his hair nicely done, a suit that clung to him in a way that wishes you were in his home. And that damn smile.
He was standing over you with phone in hand, opened to your message. “N-no I wasn’t.” You said almost shamefully, not really believing your own words as soon as they came out. He pulled out a chair beside you almost silently as the room drowned both of you guys out. Here in the corner of the room in solace with one another. “I was just y’know-.” Emphasizing your glass he nodded his head in understanding while he motioned a waiter to bring him one of the drinks in his tray. “Enjoying it so far?”
“Kinda hard not to when I keep on knocking down these glasses.” Playfully moving your cup around he chuckled as he took in your demeanor. You look scared seeing him for the first time but it practically melted away instantly. He doesn’t know what to think of you now.
“I’ll keep that in mind for next time I ask you to come over.” Casually brining up his next attempt you didn’t try to entertain the idea. As soon as it becomes truth in your mind you might spiral. “I’ll be looking forward to it.” You said with a grin as he started to nurse his own drink. It felt natural how easy you slipped into conversation with him. You asked him about his races. You remembered the results. He tries not to bring up how much he appreciated that you’re trying. “Are you still obsessed with those sweets?” You glanced at him confused finishing your glass as you looked at where he was pointing. You tilt your head in confusion at the out of place sweets table you could’ve sworn wasn’t there when you first arrived. Before you can respond he already stood up with his hand open towards you with a content smile on his face. “Of course I am.” You smiled as you let your hand envelop his, reminding you of the warmth you always woke up to. He guides you to the table, admiring the palette that’s laid out. Familiar favorites that you remember getting in different occasions, you didn’t realize how similar your taste is with Alexandra’s. “Do you like these?” You ask as you picked up a tart decorated with fruits, all freshly made as you happily picked at the fruit.
“I think I prefer actual food.” He replied still picking up a raspberry tart that was beside it. He practically finished it in two bites making you look him with doubt as he picked up another.
“You’re such a liar.” You finally pushed as you finally took a bite out of your tart making him look at you with mock hurt. He shook his head knowing he was eating his words practically, saving his appetite to eat beside you. The food tastes sweeter with you around. “You should take some home with you.” He offered, “Are you kidding me.” With an incredulous tone you shook your head imagining if you get caught.
“Then I’ll definitely look like I don’t belong.” You tried motioning to the event as a whole. “So? Why do they matter.” He says in a matter of fact tone, you’re always surprised by how little he cares for others. Maybe something you should take a note of. He doesn’t give you time to counter as he grabs napkins and started wrapped some pastries in it. Picking your favorites and a few of his raspberries ones he motioned for you to help. Scoffing you couldn’t believe how quick he was to act. Not complaining too much about the extra treats you grab a couple wrapping them safely in their napkins. “Put them in here.” Motioning towards your purse he quickly put them in there just as you did the same.
Grinning mischievously he mirrored your smile, sticking his hand out towards you again. “Want to finally get out of here?”
“Finally?” You questioned his word choice, his smile getting bigger. “You looked pretty bored for the past hour or so.”
“You stalking me?” You ask with an eyebrow raise refusing to believe you didn’t even catch a glimpse of him throughout the party. “Just wanted to make sure the pretty girl wasn’t here with anybody.” He replied confidently leaving you stunned by his sudden bold words. Maybe it was the alcohol that made you ignore your simmering doubt of this, but it didn’t bother you. Holding his hand tightly you feel a comfortable smile finally break out. You couldn’t help it as you let it out comfortably. “She’s definitely by herself.”
“Then let’s get out of here.” Holding onto your hand tighter he guided you out of the noisy party to the cold streets. Getting his car from valet he waved off the worker and he was quick to open the car door for you instead. Shaking your head at him with a giggle you stepped in with him quickly getting to his side of the door. “Such a speedy gentleman.” You joked sneaking a pastry out still feeling peckish.
“C’mon.” Motioning to himself and his car you realized how on the nose your comment was. Reaching out for your hand again you didn’t realize how touchy he really was with you. Or maybe has become during the 3 week drought of not seeing one another. “Where we going?” You ask putting down the window letting the car whip through your hair. “Where do you want to go?” Giving it some thought you gave him a thoughtful glance trying to come up with a plan. “A dinner at yours?” He can barely glance your way before he has to look back at the road. It’s like he couldn’t believe your words knowing why you even brought it up. “W-we can go get groceries y’know. Make it a little play date.”
“A play date?” He looked at you in disbelief making you laugh aloud, making him chuckle at your audacity. “Fine a regular date.” You ‘begrudgingly’ gave in feeling his thumb caress the back of your hand. He hums in content as you see his gears turning in his head. “Something easy to soak up all the wine I drank.” Something he internally agreed with considering he was hoping for a sober conversation with you. Loves drunk you, loves sober you even more. Especially if two can talk about the underlying issues whatever relationship you guys have. “We can pick up some things here. Stay here.”
“Wait wha-?” Like clockwork he quickly got out of the car to immediately appear by your passenger side. Laughing you can barely get out as you see him still trying to act cool about the fact that he didn’t run to your side. “I’ve never had someone committed to this like you.”
“Makes me glad I’m here to change that for you.” Pulling you closer to him you guys made your way into the market the bright light straining your eyes. Surprised that a market was open so late, you pulled out a grocery cart pushing it along the store. “Is there something you’re feeling?” You ask seeing his hand grip the side of the cart as you tried not to get ticked by it the more you pushed. “I think I can make good burgers.”
“Think?” With a doubtful smile you pushed your cart towards the things you needed. Something prepackaged will definitely be enough for you but you wanted a cute date, the investment is good for this. Ordering some chuck at the counter all the way in the back you leaned against the glass as you faced him. “I think I can make something good. I used to love cooking.” You reminisced remembering all the dishes you used to make. “What made you stop?” Biting your lip you remembered the last dish you made that was with love practically. It was simple, just a salmon dish with rice. Just how he loved it.
“Didn’t have a reason to cook anymore. I love sharing my cooking with someone.” You finally answered as you grabbed the bag from the workers hand. Placing it into the cart you continued pushing down aisles with him right beside you. He knew what you were hinting at. Maybe you didn’t know you were hinting at anything considering the shallow details from Charles. As soon as he realized he said too much he shut his mouth not wanting to cross your boundaries or Alexandra’s. But it was enough to know you had a love. A love that was so great it break you right after. He wondered how that was like for you. “Do you think I can get a sneak-peak of it tonight?” You let out a shaky sigh of relief not wanting to get too much into your words. Not wanting to delve into the past when the present is looking so much better.
“You covering the groceries?” You ask with a cheeky grin as he gave you a knowing look. “You didn’t even have to ask.”
He helped you pick out the rest letting you know what he already has in the house so it’s easier. He was helping you choose between two different brands when he looked over at you. A knit between your brows as you grabbed your chin in a genuine thinking pose. He thought you were kidding the first time you did it, but to test it he asked your opinions on different items.
“What cereal do you think is the healthiest?” With a curious hum you grabbed the box looking at its content with a curious pose.
“How many of these I should get?” Standing beside the pears you tried to think with your signature pose he couldn’t help but laugh at the last one. Catching your attention you looked at him in confusion yet with a small smile. “What’s so funny?” You genuinely asked wanting to know what’s making him laugh like that. He couldn’t help but notice your curious eyes peer up at him, and he never forgot how much he loved looking at them. Not wanting you to change your little habits he guided you to the checkout line with a little secret he’ll keep to himself.
He didn’t let you do anything in terms of checkout, loading up the groceries and once again opening your own door. You told him he has to let you do something eventually but he settles with the idea that you can do it when you’re by yourself only. Rolling your eyes you didn’t want to argue with him with a smile you hid behind your palm when looking out the window. Your other hand on his lap that he made sure you put there with his on-top. Seeing his home again after a 3 week break left you feeling unsettled. You left it on such a negative note practically you would think it would have Max rehashing his feelings for you. But as he grabbed all the groceries leaving the lightest for you with a warm smile as he welcomed you back into home. You realize it’s only been you. You’re the one with these thoughts.
“I’m gonna have to order us matching aprons.” You point out seeing that your clothes might get affected by the cooking process. “You know where my closet is at. Go change and I’ll get this started.” You knew how to get around his home if you were blindfolded. You promise him you’ll be back soon as you made your way into his room. Looking through his clothes you don’t find anything you want to settle with. Settling with his drawers you try to find something you usually wear among it, opening the bottom drawer your eyes widen seeing it. It was a drawer full of your clothes, you recognize it as clothes you left over as you never thought about specific items being somewhere since Max was always buying you more. Slipping into your own comfortable clothes smelling more like Max’s detergent than your own now. Walking into his bathroom your intricate makeup looks strange with comfy loungewear to be paired with. Instinctively you reached onto the sink counter finding your hair ties there like always. Making sure your hair is comfortably up your eyes drift down to where you toothbrush was. Everything of yours oozed into his home, and he left it as such. He never moved your items always keeping yours as his.
You begged for moments like these. The thought brought tears to your eyes as you felt your phone vibrate. Scared it was Alexandra noticing your early absence you opened your phone as your heart always dropped seeing the contact name. You heard your own heavy breath as your hand gripped the phone tightly - the picture mocking your mind and heart. You took too long to pickup seeing the call fall through. Just as quickly he left a message.
M
I’m here
Shutting off your phone, you gripped your hair tightly not wanting to remember the memories that always haunt you. You hate him. You have to hate him. You were in Max’s home you are happy.
You’re scared. Beyond scared. These feelings for him, if he can’t reciprocate and keep these safe you don’t know what you’ll do. You need to run. Get away before he hurts you.
Shoving your phone into your pocket you rush down the stairs. “Hey Max I gotta-.” Stopping in your tracks you see him in the kitchen struggling to swipe at his phone with one hand trying to season the meat. His eyes squinted while scrolling down the article he probably half-asses found. “Yeah? Do you like it with a lot of garlic? I think you do right?” He asked out loud still focused on measuring the seasonings right with a blender mixed of things inside it. It seemed like he was rushing to make the dinner, as if he wanted to have it done before you got down. The dinner he promised you those weeks ago. The chance you took away from him as it melted away the pain you were feeling.
Your silence concerned him making him finally look up to see you standing there. Maybe he won’t forget that face you’re making at him. He doesn’t know if he should. A pained expression was etched onto your face, yet the most grateful smile graced your features. He couldn’t open his mouth before you ran into his arms feeling your lips on his just as quickly. Stunned but content with you in-front of him he pulled you closer with his clean hand. Your hands wrapped around his neck feeling his tongue against yours. The desperation he felt to finally kiss you matched yours finally letting your feelings to be noticed. More so by you if anything. You’re not afraid of what this can be. Hearing his quiet groans against your mouth left you wanting more. But through sheer-will you finally pulled yourself way with an embarrassed smile.
You lingered with a few more soft kisses against his lips letting his forehead lightly press against yours with a goofy smile on his face. “I am always going to accept those kisses of yours.” He reassures kissing your nose lightly giving you a thoughtful look.
“What’s wrong though?” Those dreaded words you both didn’t want to hear. He didn’t want you to run from him anymore. He wants you beside him, cooking dinners as if this is normal, then laying with one another and he finally wakes up to you beside him.
You just want to be happy. A type of happy that won’t make you regret your choice.
“I’m terrified of being with someone like you.” You confessed stunning him. He casted you a look of disbelief as he wiped off his hands. “You are this amazing guy who’s saying and doing all these rights things but I’m so scared Max.” You say with a shaky voice not wanting to cry before you get everything out. You let his hands envelop your body, gripping the back of his shirt tightly not wanting him to leave. He would have every right to leave but you need him. You want him.
“I’m scared of trusting you. My body feels like it’s telling me to run the opposite way to save you and me from hurt. But I selfishly want to try this.” You pulled away slowly, his hands weakly around your waist as yours was around his. “More than anything I want to try.” You finish biting your lip nervously, feeling the skin you’re biting at since earlier. You don’t want to look at him to watch his reaction. You wouldn’t be able to bear it.
Feeling his hand softly caress your cheek he gently made you look at him. He looked like the opposite of you. Your tear stained face was looking at his blissful one, as if this is all he wanted to hear. He got the permission he needed to continue any of this. “Then we’ll try Y/N. I’ll do anything to make you want to continue this. Because I-…I want this more than anything.” He confessed pulling you in for another desperate kiss. All those times he wanted to kiss you like you were his, all those times you ran, all the times he wanted to lay out his feelings for you. Poured all into that kiss as you felt his hand tighten around your waist and face. Tilting your head to let him kiss you deeper, wanting to know you more. All the other kisses he cherished but now this signals for something more. You two will be more.
Begrudgingly pulling away he sees your almost dazed expression as he felt just as equally pleased with you. “You are everything to me right now Y/N, just don’t run.” He couldn’t help his worry which you understood. A sad smile you couldn’t help as you thought about the cat and mouse you put him through. “No more running.” Awkwardly putting up your pinky he couldn’t help but chuckle, making you giggle at the childish nature of this. “Can’t exactly get you a ring just yet. But let’s settle for this.”
His pinky wraps around yours, placing a soft kiss on your hand in exchange. “Promise?”
“Promise.”
You know it’s not going to be easy to trust him with your whole heart. To explain why you are the way you are. But as you made dinner beside him, Max trying to impress you with his burnt burgers by the end of it. You were pathetically whipped for him. It’s as if he only wants the best for you, his eyes always following you. Never wanting to waste a second from watching you and what he can say to you. It’s been awhile since you felt true devotion but as he pulled you up the stairs onto the bed. A simple kiss on the top of your head not wanting anything more than you in his arms.
You heard his heartbeat.
It was beating erratically.
He was just as nervous as you. The thought eases your mind knowing that this time you’ll be waking up in his bed with his warmth.
“No it’s insane! I’m obviously very happy and I’ve just been overdue for a podium.” You grinned holding the mic tightly trying to calm your shaking nerves.
The interviewer let out a friendly laugh as everyone noticed your excitement. It was hard being Max’s teammate and everyone’s watchful eyes noticing time and time again on how your performance was underwhelming compared to his.
Taking a toll race after race as the growing self-doubt grew. But with just one win. It’s like it’s starting to melt away.
P3.
Still a win.
This was just the start. This is all you needed. A sign that you’re still in this and you are just as capable as the rest.
It was strange as you waved at the crowd and as you stood on the podium. Spraying the champagne on your teammate and Lando. Even though you were in third it truly felt like a celebration for you as they drenched you in champagne. You didn’t think this type of joy was something you were going to get in a long time.
But you knew what reward you wanted most as your eyes flickered to your watch. You were celebrating with Max and Redbull; something small as you had prior commitments.
Lying that your family was waiting for you as you checked into your hotel, knowing who was there waiting for you.
You knew who it was.
But you didn’t know he had the time for a whole redecoration of the place. Expecting a kiss on the forehead with your favorite movie to be playing would’ve been enough. And obviously a little congrats would be nice. Yet intricate flower bouquets decorated the room, with a vanilla aroma filling the room as you noticed the candles strategically placed. Wine bottles decorated cutely with an equally adorable cake right beside it. And right behind it?
The man that makes all your dreams come true. Who knew it was possible you can love a man this much. Dumping your bags at the door you practically sprinted to him as he let out a contagious laugh, catching you with his arms tightly around you. “Oh I’m so happy for you.” His words were muffled as you felt his lips against your neck. He held onto you tighter never wanting to let go.
“Thank you… I can’t believe I finally did it.” You finally pulled away and there he saw you fully. Your eyes shining with so much anticipation already for your next race, for your future, he knew how much this meant for you.
He was the one holding you night after night whenever you had a bad practice, race, he was always there for you. He wishes you had skipped all the bad moments and got to this moment exactly. It killed him seeing you lose the spark you first had when you joined F1.
But here you are. With him. And that’s all he can ask for.
“How did you even have time to do this?” Opening the wine bottle and pouring you a glass he recalls how easy it really was. “When your car shits out on you in the beginning of a race, it gives you a lot of time to plan something for your amazing girlfriend.” He said with a cheeky smile passing the glass over to you.
Looking at him suspiciously it didn’t do much to help how he knew you were going to win. Which he now realized, “I needed to feel better so I wanted to see you happy. So I thought celebrating that your car probably wasn’t going to die on you was why I did this.” You giggle at the stupid reason feeling pathetically whipped for the man you call your lover.
“You’re so dumb.” You said between giggles trying the wine that he graciously got you. “Wait why?” Shaking your head you patted the bed beside you wanting to be more comfortable. Taking a seat next to you he shook his head almost immediately.
“Let’s talk about you though.”
“I rather not.” He was blunt not wanting to ruin your night with his failure of a race. But he should’ve known as he sees your eyebrow raise in a way where he knows he shouldn’t argue with you. He never wins. Not like he minds considering he likes seeing you smile at him in triumph. “Can we do a type of deal?”
“Depends.”
“We spend the night celebrating you-.” He gave you a quick kiss on your lips as he saw you try to immediately cut in. His free hand caressing your cheek softly as he felt you relax under his grip. It wasn’t the usual kiss where you’re desperate to feel every inch of one another. It was soft as he made sure to hold you gently. He finally pulled away, soaking in your love-stricken expression, and he’s sure he has the exact same one. “And you can hear me complain all day tomorrow?” He countered as he sees you roll your eyes.
“Did you kiss me so I can be more willing to say yes?”
“………”
You don’t think it’s possible being mad at this man. He looked so dorky trying to act innocent as you see his eye crinkle in happiness at your willingness. You shook your head with a giggle as you pulled him closer for a victory kiss.
August
You huffed in frustration as you flipped back and forth between the journal pages. “How the hell-!” You were too into your head to notice a figure beside you staring at you with concern at your mumbling self.
It was 1am with you in the kitchen that is in a mess. He wouldn’t care if it was because you were hungry and you’re making yourself a late night snack. But he sees the counters full of cakes, some type of pastries, etc. “Mon amour?
Jumping at the sudden voice you finally acknowledged the fact that your very sleepy boyfriend was standing not that far from you. “Oh shit did I wake you up? I’m so so-.”
He shook his head as he walked behind you letting his arms wrap around your waist and his head to lay on your shoulder sleepily. “No my body is just used to sleeping next to you now. So why are you baking? Did we miss someone’s birthday?” He asks now concerned if you guys did miss a drivers birthday.
“No no. You should get to bed we have a big race tomorrow.”
“Technically it’s today.” Your brain felt like short-circuiting which Charles quickly noticed. Peeking if there’s anything in the oven he decided to guide you to the couch as he sees the nervous expression never leave your face. “What’s happening? Are you feeling ok?” He asks concerned as he noticed how hot your body felt. Usually you guys would joke how you guys were complete opposites as he would throw his body weight on you accusing him of being an oven. And you doing the opposite as you would ambush him with your freezing hands under his shirt.
He can see the sweat on your face, feeling the warmth of your body radiate to him. That was all he needed to say as he sees your eyes well up in tears. “Oh my love.” He pulled you in quickly as you let out a sob. He feels your head shake as you tried desperately quieting your sobs. “No it’s ok. Just cry it’s ok I promise.” It still felt embarrassing as you cried onto his chest, but it was overdue. You knew you shouldn’t have been on your phone before the race. But you can’t help it when you practically live on it the day before a race.
It was a simple post from Redbull that had you spiraling as you scrolled through the comments. Then you would go through different threads all of them being of the same nature. All of them dragging you down. You knew better to ignore the usual hateful words from randoms. But it felt excessive this time around. Or maybe it’s because your fall from grace is happening soon.
“Charles I don’t know why I’m here.” You let out as you pulled away from his grip. He left his hand on your lap squeezing your thigh softly to let you know he’s still there. “What do you mean?”
You shook your head as you tried wiping your never-ending tears. “It feels like I was brought to RedBull as a marketing strategy and not because I’m an actual good driver. And maybe people are finally seeing that! It’s like they’re all expecting me to finally fail and this good thing wasn’t supposed to happen!” You spilled as you tried not choking between sobs. Qualifying couldn’t have gone worse as people are already expecting your downfall for this race. Crashing into another drivers wheel wasn’t exactly your plan. But to everyone else it was intentional; you got greedy during a turn and paid for it.
“Y/N. Please. And I’m not saying this because you’re my girlfriend but you are an amazing driver. You are someone who is always going to have the attention of everyone because you shine that brightly. And I know it’s going to suck, and I’m sorry I can’t protect you from all those things. But I need you to know I’ll always be here waiting for the times you need me-.” His hands ghosted over your cheeks, wiping the stray tears as you found solace in his words.
“Whenever and wherever I’ll be here for you. And so please don’t stay up driving yourself insane with baking. I love you, I really do but I can’t eat all of these with the diet they have me on.” He pleaded playfully dragging a smile to finally come on your face.
You gave him a grateful smile which made him give you a sleepy smile in return. “I’m sorry for keeping you up. Let’s go to be-!” Before you can finish your sentence he was quick to scoop you in his arms terrifying you. “Wait you’re gonna drop me!” You shrieked as you tried stabilizing yourself as he practically had you over his shoulder.
“You’re rude to think I would drop you. What if I-?” With no warning he dipped you as all the blood rushed to your head as you yelled out again between laughs. “Say you’re sorry!” You both were stubborn. But who knew he would use this to his advantage as he continuously dipped you as you refused to say sorry. Between shared laughs you were comforted by the man you love.
October
You were practically on your knees as you held the plastic bags towards Charles. He stood stern on his position, refusing to make eye contact with you. One glance and he’ll give in, you know how pathetic he is for you. Not like it’s one-sided to be fair.
“Please just one more time! And we can retire!” You begged hearing the bag crinkle in your grip, you’re sure the things in it are gonna be somewhat ruined. “No Y/N, I left that in the past. Why can’t we do anything else?” He asked desperately thinking back at the dark days he used to live with that thing.
“Because I got one for Leo and it’ll be very cute photos.” If your puppy eyes didn’t work on him then who else besides his favorite little thing. He groans as he sees Leo sprinting across the room in excitement. He’s not helping his case but definitely helping yours.
“You telling me he wouldn’t look cute in it! Here put yours on and surprise me!” You shoved the bag into his chest as you started to push him towards the bathroom. “Why can’t I change in-front of you?!” Ignoring his pleas you closed the door behind him, settling your sights onto his lovable dog. “Leo!” You said excitedly which he barked happily not knowing what you’re about to do. Taking out the costume from the bag you fought with Leo on trying to put it on. “I don’t think I thought this out correctly…” Before Charles can come out you grabbed yours out of the bag trying to maneuver your legs through it. “Do you want me to be naked underneath?!” Charles yelled from the bathroom, “Babe please don’t be naked… for once I don’t want you to be naked!” You clarified typically happy having a naked boyfriend.
Smoothing out your new and improved outfit you waited anxiously, hoping he actually doesn’t hate it. You scoop up Leo in your arms as you tried to get the full picture together. “I don’t know Y/N you don’t think…?” Before he can finish his sentence as he came out of the bathroom he stood at the doorframe in shock.
He loves you. He really does. But sometimes you get ideas that he doesn’t know where they come from.
There you are. His beautiful, smart, talented girlfriend.
In a banana suit. With the biggest grin on your face.
Which you forced your guys’s dog to wear as well. Who was trying to lick your face oblivious to the torment you’re putting him through.
And then himself.
“Oh my god…” He hid his face behind his hands. Turning red in embarrassment as he realized what was the plan you wanted to go with. A halloween party with all the drivers and you wanted to go as this? Did your late-night talks mean nothing as he threw ideas at you for your oncoming Halloween costumes ideas. You guys had so many options so why? “Did you know that you wanted to do this!?” He asks betrayed making you laugh.
“C’mon don’t we look cute!” He couldn’t ignore the happiness radiating from you as you took in Leo’s costume and his own. He shook his head as he finally walked up to you admiring how you looked. Even if you wore a banana costume that haunted his past. “We have never looked so good.” Pressing a kiss on your forehead you faked gagged at his words knowing what he was referencing.
“Just admit you miss being a banana.” He denies it. But as you looked at him when he thinks you’re busy you can’t help but notice the crinkle of his eyes. His smile wide with a dorky look on his face.
“Max wanted to be the fourth one by the way.” You teased seeing him freeze mid-step.
“Please no.”
December
“No no! You don’t get to do this Charles!” You tried to keep your voice at a respectable level but you feel your anger simmering right underneath your skin. You shook your head in disbelief as you glanced at the thing that started this all. His phone.
You typically took pride in how you both didn’t let social media affect your lives. These weren’t one of those instances. But he knew how you were as a person. You both weren’t perfect, you both knew the personalities you fell in love with. Even if he became more tame over the years. “Can you blame me? Do you know how bad this can look?” You scoff as he picked up his phone again, shoving it towards your direction.
A picture of you with a group of guys laughing over dinner. Old high school friends that wanted to catch up ever since your career took off as a racer. From the angle that the photo was taken it looked like you were leaning closer to a particular friend, and you recognized that. You recognize how bad it can look.
“I told you! It’s the angle!” How long has it been? An hour? As soon as you got home you were greeted with Charles’s heartbroken expression. “I didn’t even know you were going to be out with just guys Y/N! I don’t think any guy would be ok with that.” You’re trying to get his point of view, you really are. But he knew the people you had surrounded yourself with always. Not that you only hung out with guys, but typically girl hangouts are 1-1 for you.
“Am I supposed to apologize for that?!” You said exasperated as he looked at you in disbelief.
“Are you not hearing yourself? Yes Y/N. You are. Because I’m your boyfriend and I would think you love me enough to respect our relationship.”
It only went on longer.
The home you lived in with one another has become tainted with your yells. His voice rising at every sentence getting tired of it all. He let out a tired sigh finally as you try to not let his tear-filled eyes distract you. How his eyes were filled with a sadness you didn’t think you can create. “I just can’t Y/N… I’m not doing this we have our race tomorrow I can’t.”
Stunned at how quick he went to your shared room you followed right behind him. “What are you doing?” You ask, he answered as he took out his duffle bag.
“Not here. I can’t look at you right now.” You shake your head as you felt yourself starting to get choked up. The pit in your stomach getting heavier to bear.
“W-wait you can’t go! You can’t just leave!” Standing infront of the closet you look at him in disbelief. You understand this is a heated argument, one that you two never experienced. But this wasn’t the answer.
“Y/N. Move please. I don’t want to fight.”
“Then we won’t fight! We can talk it out but you just can’t leave.” You tried to ignore at how your heart broke hearing him scoff and go to his dresser getting the necessities.
“I tried talking it out Y/N! But I’m not getting anywhere!” You shook your head as he zipped up the bag heading towards the door. Following right behind him your eyes widen as he put on his shoes. “If you leave it’s over Charles.” He was taken aback at how easy you said it. As if those words don’t dictate your future together. One that he desperately wishes you would be a part of. He stared at you, your eyes filled with tears but more-so with anger. With so much anger that he felt his own tears slip as he tried to understand how he can fix this.
But you weren’t getting it. He should’ve known. But it hurts.
“You don’t get to leave when it gets hard. You stay in this home. I’ll take the guest bedroom for all I care. But you don’t get to just leave.” You tried sounding stern but you saw how he bit his lip with eyes that pleaded at you, his brows furrowed in frustration. To not do this to him.
But you’ve been down this road before. A heated argument and then they storm out. You receive a message an hour or so later of how much they love you to only see their location at some random girl’s house.
You can’t go through this again. You can’t taint your memories of Charles with this. You rather deal with his heartbreak now than finding out he truly didn’t love you.
“I’m sorry Y/N. I really do love you.” He pressed a soft kiss on your forehead as you feel his shaky hands caress your cheek. You see him try to blink away his tears, your resolve chipping away. You want to take back the words said. Knowing he can leave your life. The one who truly helped you breathe, over a stupid picture. It’s a heartbreak you’re not sure if you can handle. “Then don’t leave Charles.” You whispered as you looked at him desperately your hands finding his, interlocking your fingers. To feel his warmth, to remember it all.
“I have to. I can’t be in the same house right now.” Whatever words you wanted to say you swallowed back. You take back your hand as you stepped away from him. “Get out.”
“Y/N… please understand.” You shake your head not understanding it at all.
“Get the hell out. I won’t do this. I just won’t.” Your heart wouldn’t be able to handle it, seeing his face. Turning away you walked back to your room hearing the door close right behind you.
You felt weak.
Getting to your bed you barely have the energy to cradle yourself onto it. All those tears came falling down practically burning into your skin. As you tried to choke down your sobs feeling as if something inside of you is now gone. You need to sleep. To forget everything. But it was as if all the air left your lungs as you desperately wondered how you could’ve changed it. You felt so right, and Charles felt so wrong. But you wondered if maybe this is what you needed. Maybe it wasn’t meant to be. The thought did nothing to aid you as you held your chest tightly. The pain getting unbearable wishing for the man you teasingly call your prince to be by your side.
March
It was terrible. Your life being on display for the past few months was draining as everyone had an opinion on what happened. You never outright told anyone you two were dating but you never denied it either. It was supposed to be simple, whatever happens happens. But something definitely happened as everyone noticed the outright pain you two were in. Never acknowledging each other as you tried your best to move on.
“I mean…I’m usually on your side Y/N but…” You shook your head at your friend as you scraped the bottom of your ice-cream cup. She was trying to be insanely nice about it all considering for once after 3 months you finally brought him up. “To be fair you wouldn’t like it if he was with a group of girls, right?” Exasperated as you feel like the point you’re trying to bring up keeps on getting lost.
“The thing is Charles knew I hang out with a lot of guys. I only started making girl friends after I started racing believe it or not. And it was never a conversation.” You explained as you see your friend look back at you with uncertainty. “And you can’t use that argument considering Charles barely has any girl friends to begin with!” You did nothing to sway her mind as she placed down her cup of ice-cream. She was glad you were finally able to talk about it. Ignoring the fact that it was probably because you saw the picture of Charles circulating around.
Him with a group of girls with a smile on his face.
How your friend could’ve sworn she saw your eye twitch.
“I’m just sure it’s not a nice feeling is all I’m saying. Yes Charles should’ve stayed and talked about it. But how is he supposed to know you would freak out about him leaving. These were conversations you were supposed to have in the beginning.” Your friend tried to explain, she wasn’t scared that you would get mad at her. She was just scared you’ll be dragged back into your depressive cycle.
“But to be fair we didn’t start out like a normal relationship.” You tried defending yourself as you motioned for her to get up so you guys can head back since it was getting so late.
She does nod at that as she remembers the late night spam you would send her as you updated her with every interaction you had with Charles.
The innocent joy you would have in your eyes thinking that this was just a simple fling. But then she saw the two of you grow into something more. She was worried at first, you were her friend she really didn’t want to see you hurt. But the more she saw the two of you. Two love-sick racers who practically lived in each other’s skin. She was surprised you both have lived this long without one another.
“So do you think it’s my fault?” You look at your friend with a worried look that you threw away something good. A common act in your life. “It’s not anybody’s fault Y/N. It’s just now we know what to do.” She tried to comfort as you can only muster a weak smile. “I do appreciate it tho maybe I just need t-.”
It was as if all the thoughts and words you can think of disappeared. After a late night ice-cream run you didn’t expect to see him. It’s been so long yet not. You see each other every time there’s a race. You see him in passing when interacting with the other racers. Yet it felt like you were truly seeing him. But he wasn’t how you left him. “Are you good for this?” Your friend asked cautiously, she knows to a certain extent you need this. But if you’re not ready she’ll run him off and you know it.
“I-I…” You didn’t know. Your heart still ached as you saw him waiting patiently with the sad look you’re growing to hate. He didn’t move, simply waiting for you with a desperation only you two understood. “Let me walk you bac-.” Your friend immediately shushed you understanding your answer as she gave you an excited smile. She wanted you guys back together, desperately so. To her you guys were endgame. Not that she would tell you.
“I literally only live 5 minutes away from here. So now go get him!” She nudged you towards him encouragingly as you stumbled closer. You see his body twitch as if instinct to go grab you, but you see him stiffen in response.
You couldn’t be mad at that.
Finally walking up to him you look up at the eyes you always love looking at. His eyes confused you. You would say they’re a mix of green and blue. Charles says it’s a solid color, you tell him he’s wrong. Yeah it’s his eyes. But you’re the one who loved looking into them whenever you woke up beside him.
“Did you need something?” You grit your teeth immediately on how cold you sounded. Not used to even acknowledging each other anymore. The memories you guys shared had been buried between the two of you.
Your words didn’t deter him as you recognize the look he had. Going through so many thoughts as he opened his mouth to speak, “I wanted to tell you congratulations!” He spat out, leaving you confused.
Confusing you more was his own look of confusion.
“Umm thank you? But was that what you actually wanted to say?” You press on knowing better. If he truly wanted to congratulate you he would’ve done it 2 races ago. He seemed grateful that you understood that he had messed up his own words. You didn’t have to know he was waiting outside your door for almost 20 minutes trying to figure out what he wanted to say. He was content with what he wanted to say until he looked up and saw you frozen a few feet away from him. Everything he wanted to say, to confess to you, it had completely left him. Looking at the woman he loves. It was as if it was the first time he saw you. He will always love you as if it was the first day, the only added thing was the memories you two shared. To him you were perfection even with the argument you two had, he still cherished you. And as he’s spiraling he’s noticing the weird look you’re giving him.
“O-oh um shoot!” He covered his mouth trying to remember the speech he was going to give you, it was supposed to be more romantic and the flowers! He just realized he was missing the flowers from his hands, starting to think he really has blown it.
“I’m sorry.” It was blunt. He almost didn’t catch it during his panic of looking for the flowers. But you were staring at him so guiltily.
“I’m sorry I put you in a difficult position. And I… I recognize that now. So I’m truly sorry Charles.” You felt your voice crack towards the end turning your face away from him embarrassed. “No no mon amour. It’s ok.” Shushing you, you felt his arms wrap you into a tight hug making your eyes widen.
You didn’t think you would be in his arms again. The thought had killed you. Gripping onto him tightly you tried hiding your face into his chest. “It’s not ok Charles. It was horrible of me.” You confessed, your mind bringing you back to the night it all went down.
Before you can continue you felt his hands reach for your chin to lift it towards him. Not allowing you to say anything more, he pressed his lips against yours. As if your body knew who it was leaned in more letting yourself to remember what you once had. It was desperate as if all the missing time from one another was poured into one kiss. Feeling his hands tilt your chin more to give him more space as his hand grip your neck possessively. Moaning into his mouth you felt his body press against yours knowing how this goes. Throwing your arms around his neck he tapped your legs lightly signaling your usual routine.
Jumping up he caught you as you wrapped your legs around his waist not wanting to break away from him. There were too many drunk nights that it became muscle memory as he reached for his key and unlocked the door.
You refused to change the locks wanting him to come back to you in any way. You were glad as he slammed the door shut behind you both, letting your body fall slowly onto the couch.
Barely breaking away from the kiss you pulled him back, letting your hands roam his body in desperation. Every exposed spot was yours to feel as you helped him finally take off his shirt. He pressed his body against yours wanting you to feel every part of him. Every move from one another was feral as your body went to grind against his, his hand immediately finding your neck with a slight squeeze. Letting out a content sigh, you see his eyes find yours.
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I love your writing it's so satisfying to read! Can I request a platonic fic 👉👈 with the variants or mark, with a sayaka (madoka magica) reader or a cinnabar (land of the lustrous) reader I really love your work keep up the great work! (Idk if you know these shows so I put the titles here just in case ^^!!)
Platonic!Mark x Reader
a/n - i’ve never thought about doing a platonic imagine like ever so this tested my abilities. I just have a want to make everything romantic lol but hopefully you like 👉🏻👈🏻 sorry if its booty
(requests are open!!)
“I-I need your help!” Shoving off your blanket practically tripping over yourself your hand gripped the phone tighter. “What do you mean! Where are you!” Hearing Mark’s tone threw you in a panic, worried he got himself caught in something he can’t handle. “I’m sending you my location, please hurry!”
As fast as you could you ran to the spot he wanted, yelling out apologies as you ran into people who were walking way too slow. Confused as you saw the exact location in the distance it didn’t occur to you it was Mark’s favorite comic store.
Hiding behind a wall you transformed into your outfit wielding a sword ready for what’s in there. Hopefully it’s not too destroyed after whatever fight is going to happen. Trying not to think too much about it being quiet outside, you rationalize it as some hostage situation and that’s why Mark isn’t breaking the buildings around you.
Bursting in you looked around trying to find the villain Mark was fighting, sword at the ready. “Aeros?” Hearing your hero name you perked up recognizing Mark’s voice, but his outfit left you confused.
Donning his regular civilian clothes you saw a group of guys surrounding him, as he finally pointing you out. “See! I told you I know them, now give me the comic!”
That fucking sell-out.
Before you can strangle him, the group crowded you shoving their phones in your face, as you see Mark happily paying for the comic in the front. With a strained smile you took some wanted pictures, glaring at Mark who gave you an apologetic smile before practically booking it. “How did this even happen?” You muttered catching a bystander’s interest, “Oh he wanted this limited edition comic and I had the last copy but he told me I can get a picture with you in exchange for it.”
That fucking asshole.
“Alright glad you guys got your photos! Thanks for supporting me, but I gotta run!” Before they can even stop you, you had run out the door looking wildly for the boy you call a friend. Seeing a familiar back of the head turn the corner, your body automatically starts sprinting fueled by your annoyance of taking photos. “You asshole!” Hearing him beg for you to stop chasing him, it just fuels your spite. “Get over here you back-stabber!”
“Please! I just really needed this!” Yelping at the sudden impact of dust being thrown at you, you grit your teeth as you try waving it off. Looking up you see Mark floating above you knowing fully well you aren’t capable of doing the same. “C’mon! I babysat Cheerio for you!”
“You’re her uncle Mark! She missed you!” You emphasized pulling out your phone showing him the photo of the two of you with your cute poodle smiling happily at the camera. “You can’t use that on me!” Mark whined feeling guilty seeing the photo, “And you can’t use me as some trading card!” You countered making Mark groan in response.
“You’re my friend!”
“And you’re my Cheerio’s god-father so obviously relationships don’t matter!”
This was the outcome of your relationship with Mark. An annoying relationship of back and forths.
But as he knocked on your door with a plate of home-cooked meal from his mom and a bag of treats for his god-daughter. You couldn’t help but forgive him glad you had a friend by your side.
“How was the comic?” You asked scooping another spoonful of Debbie’s food into your mouth. “It was worth it.”Staring him down as he gave you the glaringly wrong answer he finally stuttered out the correct one as you place the dirty plate on the coffee table. “Jeez was this payback because of the photos I showed Eve.” Finally recalling the only reason why Mark would’ve done this to you.
Recalling a few months back on how she wished she could see Mark’s baby photos as he put them under tight lock and key, and practically begging his mom to never show them to Eve.
Which where you graciously waltzed in by presenting your own photos remembering the old photos you used to keep safe, photos Mark never knew existed. You made some copies for Eve to keep wanting her to get the full girlfriend experience of seeing a boyfriend’s baby photos, but she unfortunately gave it away.
“Wait how did you know that happened?” Looking at you two suspiciously as Eve tried joking about Mark’s bowl cut incident years ago, it only solidified what he assumed was your fault when you both looked at each other guiltily.
“No! But now I know what else I can hold over you!” Mark’s face was burning red remembering the exact photo that Eve had gotten from you, making you laugh at his misfortune.
“No you can’t! You already used your one chance.” You pushed not needing another ambush, feeling embarrassed that you weren’t any ready for a photo shoot. “Why do you worry so much about your photos?”
“Believe it or not Mark, I love making sure every photo of me out there gets me at the right angle.” He rolls his eyes at the many times you’ve fought side by side remembering how you always take a moment to pose when there’s a News crew overhead.
“Wait Mark does it look better if I pose like this or. . .like this!” Striking a pose as you held the detached tentacle of an alien that Mark was currently struggling with, he grits his teeth as he was slammed back onto the ground. “You look bad in both just help me!” Scoffing at him you decided to pose with your sword instead out of spite until he finally apologized and helped you pick a pose so you can help him kill the alien.
Which ultimately made you pose next to the beaten alien with Mark holding a light up begrudgingly he borrowed from the helicopter.
“Do you even remember the names they called me after that.” Mark asked in belief at the absurdity of it all, which made you grin happily as you got the better half of the deal. “What? That you were my little assistant.” You recalled innocently making Mark internally seethe remembering how in his solo missions they would rather ask for you than Invincible.
That was a cool name! And he’s a cool hero. . .
“You suck for that…” Cooing at his depressed face, he swatted your hand away playfully, picking up the remote to put something on the tv. You see Cheerio choose Mark over you and get comfortable in his lap making you happy that they pushed the assistant thing on Mark. “Even Eve believe I was actually your assistant for some time!” This time making you laugh proudly remembering Eve’s confused face as Mark didn’t want to shake her hand after the introductions.
“You’re Aeros’s assistant right? You’re pretty cool for a sidekick!” She was trying to be so kind, but her genuine tone killed Mark as you tried biting down a snicker, hearing Mark’s ego be crushed beside you. She immediately apologized when she realized the rumor wasn’t true; thanks to Mark strained telling of what happened, letting you finally cackle in the sidelines seeing the two future-love birds hash it out.
“I’ll never forgive you for that.” In a threatening tone you both can’t believe, you sighed contently as your head fell against the pillow on your couch, Debbie’s food making you sleepy after a long day. “I’ve done more positives in your life so don’t forget that.” Knowing he can’t argue against that he muttered something under his breath making you reflexively kick his side, making him let out a groan swatting your foot away from him.
It was a peaceful silence between you two, with only an occasional giggle from you, being entertained by the show. This was your routine with one another, a peaceful recharge of all responsibilities. Yours as a cursed user blessed with a sword, forcefully promised to protect the world, being one of the main faces of the superhero world, willingly or not. Mark who is still trying to navigate the same world, with less time, thrusted into a world that his father wanted to take over, the responsibilities of who he is weighing heavily on him. But you both find a solace within one another that simply can’t be explained.
Seeing the father-son duo fight in the screen in front of him reminded him of what he was missing. A life that was tore away from him by someone he trusted. He wishes to block it all out, the screams, the pain, the begging. He remembers it all vividly. Everyone was impacted in some type of way.
He remembers the silence you both shared when you had visited him in his hospital room.
You made no effort to comfort him, to share your thoughts, no words were exchanged. Just a silence that enveloped you both as you sat beside him your eyes meeting the floor rather than his.
It helped. In some weird way it helped.
It helped remind him that you were there but you didn’t want to overstep with your words. Because you didn’t understand. No one does understand. And you’re not going to try. You’re simply going to hear.
“Did you get hurt?” He asked, his voice strained from the days of not speaking. Everything in his body being practically crushed as he was trying to recover. That’s all he can do. Lay there and wallow in pain as his body tries to heal itself physically.
“Nope.” It wasn’t teasing, or trying to lighten the mood. You just gave him a small smile to ease his worry of another person he held dear was not hurt. He confided in you. All these warped emotions he spilled them out for you to hear, every piece anger/hatred he couldn’t share with anyone but you. He knew his emotions would only hurt his mother, hurt those around him as his anger was directed to everyone/everything. He knew what he was feeling was right yet it was eating him up inside. But you stayed. You stayed by his side seeing the ugly that no one really acknowledges of Mark; or never felt like allowed him to. And he was glad that you were by his side, that nothing happened to you.
It wasn’t until he got better and was moving around that he found out from Cecile, you were caught in the crossfire.
He knew you had regenerative abilities. But he didn’t know the extent as he watched the screen in horror seeing your arm get ripped off time and time again. Your body was being ripped by the second but here you were regenerating yourself, gritting your blood-soaked teeth to give Mark even a second more to recuperate. Hoping to use this as motivation for Mark to continue training, and fight with them. It just fueled Mark with the turmoil he thought he left behind in that room.
He was just tired of being lied to.
When he arrived at your front door he practically ended the friendship right then and there. And you didn’t even bother stopping him as you thanked him for all his time with you. He was grieving. Grieving a life that he’ll no longer have. A normalcy he can’t ever think of having, just a weapon against his father.
He wanted to apologize. He confided in Eve during the time that he regrets ever saying those words to you, just a moment of heightened emotions he took out on you, as Eve tried helping him with advice of what he can do to help being friends again.
But you didn’t care. You knew he needed time. After two months you were at his window with a bag of burgers and drinks as a sign of forgiveness.
He’s always riddled with guilt whenever he thinks back at the time. Understanding fully well why you’ve done it, you understand him painfully so. You knew in a way that the friendship wasn’t over, this was something that happened one other time as Mark was the victim of your words previously. But you guys came back, appreciating one another tenfold as you understood what you guys were to one another.
“Do you think we were like cousins in some weird life?”
“Like reincarnations and why weird you weirdo?”
“That’s like when people come back from the dead no?” Rolling your eyes, even if you also thought the same thing at some point only able to know the word because of the worrying amount of fictional media you consume. “I say siblings no? Like you’re so annoying that you had to have been my brother.”
“I will throw Cheerio at you.” Putting your hands up in faux surrender, you try to think about the hypothetical. Maybe you guys really could’ve been siblings in a past life, you never felt a love for Mark as anything more than a friend and vice-versa. It was a connection that no one can explain if you were to ask those to close you. The devotion to one another is something else entirely as scenario after scenario was thrown at the two of you only bringing you two closer.
Since the moment you were cursed, you recalled all the moments shared with Mark. Both growing up without powers for a chunk of your life but it didn’t deter you from living it to the fullest. Sharing play dates, as Debbie was convinced you both were meant to be for a short awhile. But when she caught you play-fighting in the mud as you stood over Mark with a maniacal life she understood she practically had another demon child in her hands. Not that she would complain she finds you adorable. Always having your parents over so you both can spend more time with one another just glad to see the smiles on your faces. They always joked that you had the worst luck of the two, considering you would always sport an injury after every hangout. At some point they were debating on bubble-wrapping you as tiny Mark ran into the house in full on sobs not able to say anything only following him out to the back seeing you sit there in shock with blood coming out of your nose and forehead.
You just didn’t want to get Mark in trouble considering the jumping off the roof was his idea.
And glad he didn’t follow right after you jumped.
But that luck truly did follow you as you were walking with your parents hoping to find a gift for Mark and his family after Nolan’s success of pushing out his books. All you could do was blink before realizing you were no longer holding your mother’s hand. Randomly caught in a battle between a villain and some C+ grade hero left you wounded crying out for your parents. Not knowing the news you would come to hear in the following days. You were in so much pain, feeling every tiny twist you take making you cough out more blood, impaled by some rubble. Rotten luck. It wasn’t until some strange creature came to you in hopes to make a deal with a suffering body for an exchange of a soul. You were perfect.
It would grant a wish.
And you wished to see your family one more time.
And then they found you. But something was different about you when they found you recovering in a hospital bed.
You had become a weapon, and they were planning to harness that same power to help protect Earth.
His family found you in the hospital bed unmoving, you practically looked dead the only indication of life was your breathing as you stared ahead with no ounce of will to live. Mark had stayed by your side through it all, you assume sooner or later you would’ve stopped wanting to live if it wasn’t for him and his family.
In some sick joke you were able to see your parents one more time as you wished for. Mark was by your side as you cried over their casket, having your life practically changed overnight. It was cruel. And you wished for your life to change but you knew you had to accept it. Bitterly accept the truth and be glad there is someone still with you through it all. You were always grateful to Mark and his mother. Always giving her small gifts whenever she mentions there’s something she wants or you know she’ll like; knowing you can never repay her kindness but wanting to do so anyways. As for Mark- it was awkward. You only tried once thanking him but as you both stuttered over your thank you and your welcome you accept the fact that some things need to be unspoken. But you knew he knew and that was enough for the both of you.
The bright colors of the screen pulled you out of yours thoughts as a funky commercial was advertising some new area. An arcade filled with excessive lights, but a crap ton of arcade games from all the years, some thought previously discontinued now there and only there for everyone to play. “Dude.”
“Dude.”
Looking back at one another with a knowing smile you ran towards the door, struggling to put your shoes on, while Mark apologizes to Cheerio excessively of moving her off his lap. “Guess we’re going to Las Vegas!” You shout excitedly keys ready in hand.
“It says Nevada.” Pausing all your movements you glance at Mark feeling your brain start to slow at the upcoming thinking ahead.
“Nevada? Isn’t that Las Vegas?” Shit.
“No they would just call it Las Vegas. . .right?” It was futile. Maybe you guys shouldn’t be friends as your lack of school education and Mark’s general stupidity for places had you guys at a standstill.
You share a look with one another before reaching a conclusion just with your eyes. “I’ll call Eve.”
The emotional connection between a writer/artist and a really obscure song that they associate with their characters is immensely powerful and cannot be explained
a/n - i just love hot fictional men (lowkey ass but free smut is good smut; requests are open 🙂↕️)
You had rehearsed this so many times in the mirror as you flashed a beaming smile, hearing the clicks run rampant in exchange. The flashes of the camera was killing your eyesight as you tried to maintain your normal composure. “Any plans to join an agency?”
“Any lovers?”
“Show us a trick?”
You felt your eyebrow twitch in annoyance hearing the stereotypical questions these interviewers always have. In the corner of your eye you see your manager motioning a smile onto his face. Directly towards you. Suppressing your anger you just continued posing, there’s worst things in the world and this isn’t one of them. You can’t complain when you’re practically made for this life. Never wanting anything more than be adored and captured forever in time.
Waving your goodbye to the crowd you let your manager direct you towards the event, familiar faces coming to view. It was a gorgeous event filled with every known superhero to exist. To thank them for all their hard work while shoving food down their throats. “So we’re going to meet the investors of that clothing brand you worked with last week.”
“Wait which one? Because one of the assistants tried getting grabby and it was just weird.” You shuddered stopping the waiter from walking off thanking him for the glass of champagne. “It’s the one with the name I can’t pronounce-.” Groaning he smacked your arm lightly reminding you to fix your attitude in these type of settings.
“I don’t want to.” You whined making him shake his head, “Don’t matter that’s where the money is.”
“Randy my man! How are you!” Not skipping a beat to abandon you at a social function he barely spared you a glance wanting to catch up with the random man leaving you to sip your drink. At least he isn’t in your ear telling you your future depressing plans. “You ok?” Not noticing the tall man right beside you, you immediately apologized realizing you were in-front of the drink bar blocking his way.
“You’re fine.” Offering you a kind smile you see him debate on what drink to get, but he left you feeling stupid as you were struck by his looks.
He is one fine-
“Astralis right?” Snapping you out of your thoughts you quickly nodded your head noticing his eyes were back on you, “And you’re Iron-Fist?” It immediately sounded stupid when those words left your lips as it takes one look at his outfit to know who he was. Who doesn’t know him? Those bandages really hug all the right muscles-
You can’t get distracted.
But jeez you did not know how attractive he was in person. You’re not stupid you know a fine man when you see one. But those interviews you watched on TV did not do him justice, up-close where you can see his boyish grin for yourself he had you whipped. How does one look hot and cute at the same time? Noticing your distressed face, he chuckled, an unknown glint in his eyes. “I was just asking since I’ve noticed your work. You seem to be quite the person.” Taking notice of his tone, he was careful to choose his words for some reason. To be fair he doesn’t really need to take care he can say anything to you at this point and you’ll take it. “The legendary Iron-Fist noticing me? I am one lucky person.”
He noted the look you were giving him, a seductive smile now taking place on your face. “You really aren’t subtle about this.” He laughed quietly, hoping the drink drowns his nerves noticing the tentative steps you’re taking towards him. “Can you blame me? I don’t need anybody snatching you up.” You admitted leaving him stun at your confident words not used to being one-upped, he bit the inside of his cheek looking around him if anyone is seeing the same thing he is.
You have to be some succubus sent to him, and if you were…- they won. He’s giving in. “Do you charm everyone you usually meet?” You suddenly ask, never giving him time to recover from your previous words. “No, I only turned it on for you.” He didn’t give you some lengthy explanation of how you’re the only woman in his life that you’re used to hearing to excuse their sleeping around. Not that you care; when you’re in the mood you just want to get to it. Quick and simple with his words it made a smile be drawn onto your face. “Did you come in here wanting to…” Trailing off you made the childish finger in hole motion making him finally laugh out-loud.
“To be fair I came for a drink.” Reminding you of how you guys even met to begin with. “And if anything… I was going to ask-.”
“Y/N, Y/N! She’s over here she’ll love talking to you! Hey Y/N!” Groaning you offer him an apologetic look which he waved off, painfully so. Your manager somehow within the time gone has gotten himself drunk, and brought more clients to deal with. "Randy what did I say about this." Giving a strained smile to the clients behind Randy's back, you pull his ear close to your lips. “I don’t pick up clients at these events. You know the reason why-!”
“You should be grateful to me.” You didn’t know if you looked more offended or Randy did. But seeing his face as if he was a victim was enough to piss you off even further. “Who the hell do you think you are?”
“We can chat about this real quick if you don’t mind!” The clients tried cutting in, pissed that they’re interrupting your conversation, but you knew better than to tell them off. “Just give me a moment.” They seemed to ignore your annoyed smile, trying to continue the conversation while shoving their business cards your way.
Going to begrudgingly grab their card to maintain face even after their annoying act, a pair of rough hands quickly swiped it away from them. “I know a couple of people that are willing to take this.” He stood in front of you letting you see the true stature of the man you wanted to be in bed with already. Not wanting to make it awkward he looked as if he was genuinely checking out the cards leaving the client’s frazzled. "O-Oh wait it wasn't fo-!"
"She's busy talking to her manager why don't we go somewhere?" Walking past you with a wink his arms wrapped around the annoying client's neck dragging him away as he had playful smile on his face.
Has it been that long where someone gives you some basic decency, you want them more.
You’re too fucked up in the brain for this. Hoping to see him again in better circumstances you turn your attention back onto your drunk agent wishing you gave him your number.
————————
“Long time?” Maybe it was the strange predicament that you’re in. Said predicament being the reason why all the blood is rushing to your head. Same predicament that has you tied up upside down, with an attractive masked man beside you.
“Quite.”
You see him practically admire the handy-work of the assholes who tied you up still leaving you woozy. “You trying to get an idea for later?” He quirked an eyebrow amused as if time never gone by you two.
3 months exactly.
Months of settling on seeing your face on the tv.
Who knew he’ll be longing for a woman he only met once.
He wants more of you in any way you’ll give him.
“You want to say please?” Rolling your eyes you tried lifting your head to relieve the starting pain. “Don’t be like that.” He teased twirling your hair around his fingers, delicate touches that has you shivering.
“You truly know how to woo me.”
“Since you asked so politely.” Sarcasm lacing his voice, he efficiently got you down, taking care in setting you down. “How did you even find me?”
“Your agent was worried about you, you haven’t been picking up his calls.” Thanking your agent internally you winced feeling how much the rope dug into your ankles. Without skipping a beat you felt his arms scoop under your legs, letting out a gasp as your hands instinctively wrapped around his neck. “Still- you telling me this wasn’t on purpose?” He didn’t have to know you were going to heal your leg taking advantage of the feeling of his chest against your body.
“Aren’t you glad to see my face.”
You’re thankful in more ways than one for his face but he doesn’t need the ego boost. “Is there a way to repay you?”
Casting you a knowing look you lightly slapped his chest ignoring right off the bat how strong it was. “Like something actually nice.”
“You are something nice.” Can’t help but giggle you looked around trying to find anybody, “Where did you put them?”
“Gave them over to the police they’re cleaning it up now.” Biting your lip nervously, it’s not like you have free time at the drop of the hat, your agent would probably have you modeling tomorrow and you’ve been overdue for some patrols.
“What if I repay the favor here then?” He wasn’t too surprised by your offer, and he’s not too surprised by his own feelings towards it.
“Do you really think you can handle it?” Purposing making it have double meaning you looked up at him with a pleading look, “Oh c’mon you wanna waste this chance?”
You both knew the answer to that.
Maneuvering your legs to wrap around him feeling his hand cupping your ass to keep you up, using his other hand to grip onto your neck tightly pulling you in a heated kiss. Sighing happily against his lips you felt his tongue tease yours, squeezing your ass closer, feeling his dick harden against you. Tugging at your hair, exposing your neck, he bit into it feeling you squirm underneath him. He sucked onto your neck softly, as you let yourself just enjoy the moment. Feeling the desperation from him with every kiss he sets you on a broken counter letting him position his body between your legs. Reconnecting your lips you felt his costume underneath your fingers, it wasn’t cheap but it was thin enough to press against him feeling the sturdiness of his body. How his giant hands rested on your hips keeping you steady, nipping his lip playfully to feel how those hands grip onto you tighter, feeling the warmth against your skin, wanting those hands to be everywhere on you.
“You could’ve had this so much sooner.” He murmured taking off your shirt with no problem feeling the air nip at your chest. “It was obvious you wanted to do it.” Letting him ramble, you just tugged at his hair directing him towards your chest with a mischievous glint. He can’t even fake an annoyed expression as you knew he wanted every part of you. Peppering kisses across your chest, you would feel his wet tongue lap at it every once in awhile, before sucking on the spot making you moan out in pleasure. Fondling your left tit as he snapped your bra off before latching himself on your nipple. Shivering at the warm feeling of his mouth you sighed contentedly as you felt his tongue swirl around it, teasing it lightly making you buck into his body. Wrapping your fingers around his black hair, you gave it a harsh tug feeling the vibration of a moan on your nipple from him exciting you further. “You missed me that bad?” You teased making him pull away from your nipple with a pop, flashing his cocky grin at you.
“Yeah I did. Are you going to deny you did?” Letting your hands caress his cheek your hand messed with the yellow mask covering his eyes. You couldn’t read his expression, but his body did enough talking. His heavy breathing, his curious hands, his mouth. “Of course not.”
“Then why didn’t you come see me.” It almost sounded pathetic making you grin at him, he wouldn’t admit how that made him feel.
“I’m a hard-working person. Who else is going to pose in front of the cameras if not for me.” He let out a laugh making you pause, “You don’t have to work yourself to the bone for that.”
“I’m not. It’s as easy as breathing, I look good no matter what.” He believes whole-heartedly that you are the most gorgeous person he’s laid his eyes on, but he had his fair share of cameras and it was anything but easy. “Just because you suck at it doesn’t mean I do.” You jab pushing him away from you, glaring at him. “Oh c’mon it wasn’t like that. Really I’m sorry Y/N.” Holding onto your cheeks he placed a soft kiss on your nose, trying to seem as apologetic as he can, he really didn’t mean to come at your job like that simply not on the same page of difficulty for a job like yours. “Where is it?”
He was confused as you practically manhandled his body, patting down his outfit as your hand lingered over certain parts trying to look for whatever you are. “What are you talking about?”
“Your phone.” Still confused he reached behind his waist belt pulling out his phone, handing it over to you. Opening the camera, he saw you swipe to video before passing it back to him. “I’ll prove to you that I always look good, from any angle.”
Whatever he did in his past life to deserve this moment he just thanks the Gods for it. He didn’t need anything more.
“Are you sure? I might look better than you in it.” He baited as you nonchalantly shrugged your shoulders. “You wish.” This was not an opportunity he wanted to waste. Propping his phone up to capture the two of you, he already sensed a snarky comment coming his way making him clamp his hand over your mother, making your eyes widen in shock. “I’ll just fuck you in every angle to see if we can find one.” Swallowing nervously you couldn’t help but blush feeling his big hand completely cover your mouth.
“So let’s start with this one.” Gripping onto your hair tightly you groaned as you felt him push you down, knees scraping the floor. It felt intimate as you hand grasp the edge of his pants, swiftly pulling everything down, trying not to look impressed about the size in front of you. Spitting on it your hands wrapped around it started to jerk him off immediately making him moan aloud. Feeling his warm dick as your hand moved up and down slowly before letting it touch your lips softly. Opening your mouth you felt it get bigger in your hand as you started to suck on it. In a consistent motion you sucked on the tip, with your hand stroking him at the base hearing him let out a louder moan. “Fuck…” Every noise that escaped his lips gave you more of a want to please him, wanting his moans to be all you hear, as you let your tongue twirl around the tip. “You’re right about this angle at least.” Peering up at him you feel yourself get more impatient at the sight in front of you. Looking down at you with a blissed out smile, letting out airy moans, his cheeks were flushed red as you see his chest move up and down, eyebrows knitting whenever you take him all in your mouth hearing you struggle below him. If you could see the what he was seeing as he let his hand rest on your cheek stroking it softly, for the encouragement to continue a little longer. Feeling your tongue press the tip of his dick almost finished as he tapped your cheek, “I’m almost done, mo-.” Letting out an unexpected loud moan he felt you bottom out, sucking him whole. “H-hey!” Feeling your hand tighten around his thigh you looked up at him innocently, you wanted him cum right there right now.
Holding onto the top of your head, he let out a desperate moan as he tried holding it back, “You’re gonna make me cum stop!” With no sign of stopping, he finally wrapped his fingers around the hairs on the back of your head, tugging at his harshly making you get off his dick effectively. “You can’t be mad that you were getting good head.” You challenge making him chuckle, “You’re so fucked.” Throwing you over his shoulders you let out a yelp at the sudden change, trying to hold in a yelp as his hand smacked your ass painfully so. Kicking his pants to the side he propped you against the counter, ass-up tearing off your pants before bringing his hand down for another hard slap. Letting out a yelp of pain you tried telling him off but were met with fingers being shoved down your mouth. “Just shut up and enjoy it.”
Didn’t have to tell you twice.
Palming your ass, as it soothed the stinging pain he just brought upon it, you hear him spit on his free hand, feeling the teasing fingers by your hole. Brimming with anticipation you let out a choked out moan feeling the stretch of his finger in it, his hand was anything but normal. With already one finger you felt so good knowing how big his hands are you bucked into his hand motioning for another one. “God you are such a slut.” His raspy voice accused letting another finger in as you tried not to bite onto his fingers in your mouth. Your body felt flushed as you feel the stretch of his two fingers being pumped in and out in perfect rhythm. The squelching coming out of you egged him on, wanting to hear more, wanting to be the reason why there is more. Adding one more you practically bit down on his fingers feeling full off of those. He felt every part of your body accept him, as your ass was practically bouncing back onto his fingers desperate for him to continue, the flutter of your hole sucking all his fingers in he can only assume how it would feel on his dick. Taking out his fingers from your mouth, you let out a drawled out moan as you feel him pump his fingers out quicker. His free hand was immediately put to work as he messed with your clit, making you gasp in pleasure, “W-wait!” The motion of his fingers was getting too much for your body, and you refuse to let it end early. “Now you want me to stop?” Realizing how bad this is falling back onto you, you grip onto the counter tighter as you tried controlling your breathing, feeling yourself coming down soon. “P-please… I just want you in me.”
“That was going to happen regardless.” You practically feel the confidence overflowing from behid you as you tried biting back a scream feeling his quickened pace having you on edge. “It’s ok baby just do it.” He encouraged as his fingers stretched you deliciously so feeling the former hand now resting on your ass, maybe he knew you had a thing for his hands, making sure you feel it caress every inch of your ass, the warmth burning your skin as you bit onto your lip, “Nu-uh.” Gripping onto your lower jaw he helped you keep it open as you let out a string of moans, music to his ears as he hears you come undone, begging him to go faster. Feeling your hole suck his fingers in deeper coated with all your juices, as your ass bucked into his fingers consistently. “Fuck… right there…just-!”Jaw going slack as you cried out riding out your orgasm feeling yourself tighten around his fingers, every part of you feeling sensitive as you tried pulling yourself off of him; feeling weak at your knees his hands being the only reason why you’re still up.
“This angle too! It’s basically impressive.” Not caring for his words, you tried regulating your breathing as you came down from your euphoric high, not able to question him laying you out on the counter, the cold surface making you sigh in delight compared to your sticky skin.
It wasn’t until you practically jumped at the tip of his dick going in, clutching his wrist from stopping him. “What are you doing!?”
“Are we really going to act stupid about this?” You wanted to smack that smile off of his face as he innocently smiled at you, body twitching as you felt him slip a small part of his dick in. “Your pussy is practically begging for me.” He reasoned letting his fingers wrap around yours, using as momentum to make you come slamming down onto his dick. You both moaned out in pleasure not leaving you any time to adjust as he sought out your other hand to pull you back down. Letting out moans that practically resembles pleas he sees your head fall to the side as you drooled in pleasure, overstimulated by it all. “Nghh... let’s see - if you still look good fucked stupid.”
Feeling every inch of him as he thrusted in and out was a euphoric feeling that you know you’re always going to chase for again. His hands wrapped around your wrist bringing you back onto his dick as if you’re some rag doll, whining out in pleasure as your body could barely handle anything more.
His cock slams back into you feeling the ridge of his tip scrape against your walls, feeling every bit of him in you. “God you’re...so beautiful.” Gravely and rough his voice was giving him away but he didn’t care. The sight he had of you was a heaven he didn’t think he deserved, seeing how your hole practically swallowed him up every single time. Grunting he felt himself get close feeling your hole flutter around him again. “Oh fuckkk... - please just hurry.” You whined as you felt the tears prick your eyes, and a strange feeling start to build up in your stomach.
“Shit-!” He grunted abandoning your wrist for your hips, moaning out as you feel his fingers dip at your skin deep. He started to fuck you in a brutal pace, as if he wanted to bruise you making sure he pulls you out all the way before slamming you back onto his cock. Not caring how loud you became you cried out for him, wanting him to use you in any way, which he quickly complied to as he felt himself come closer. You shudder feeling yourself slowly go limp as he fucks you through your overstimulation going at a brutal pace that you couldn’t help but enjoy admire his blissed out expression as he played with your clit just moaning out curses feeling too much pleasure across your body. Feeling yourself let go before him was practically a curse as he fucked you in a bruising pace, going faster and faster, not satisfied with leaving you as it, grinding his dick against your hole everytime he entered was enough for you; as your legs shakes uncontrollably your last ditch was effort was wrapping them around him in closer finally making him bottom out as he finished with a guttural moan. Feeling his cum fill you up inside, you felt the warm ooze drip out from you making him look at you with a tired smirk.
Weakly reaching towards his face, you tugged down the mask finally seeing his whole face, not disappointed by what you see. “You got a mask fetish?” He joked making you throw his mask back at him as he let out a loud laugh. “Na just knew I was going to be disappointed.”
Chuckling he gets closer as he towers over you, feeling the warmth of his body bounce off of yours, seeing his arm cage you beside your head. “You really are beautiful though.” Pressing a soft kiss on your lips it was a jarring difference to what you both had shared, but you relished in it cupping his cheeks to pull him closer. Until you both couldn’t breathe you begrudgingly pulled away feeling more tired than anything.
You see him glance over at the still recording phone he couldn’t help but let out a boyish grin, “Can’t believe I have this all to myself.” You laughed as you feel him stuff himself into your chest, his breath tickling you.
“Isn’t the famous Iron-Fist so lucky?” You teased hoping to talk about the recording more in depth later, considering this isn’t an everyday thing you do. And only want to reserve it for those who you hold dearly.
“Call me Lin.” Shocked that he gave you his actual name and weren’t settling with superhero names you smiled knowing you can pursue this worry free. “Don’t look so surprised we just created a sex-tape like on our second meeting.” Nudging him to not ruin the mood, he settles his head on your chest hearing your now steady breaths, letting you play with his hair as you stay in this bliss for a moment longer.
Hi I just found your blog and omg love your writing!! 10/10!! Would it be ok if I hear your thoughts or hcs on Mark but how do you think he would treat his darling if there were different species ? (Like human , mega human or an alien ?) (I’m fine with female or gn reader ^^) please 🙏
A/n: Aww thanks I appreciate reading that!! ╰(⸝⸝⸝´꒳`⸝⸝⸝)╯
In my very professional and correct opinion - I really don’t think Mark gives a fuck if that makes sense. Like if he’s interested in you and you got a solid personality man is willing to be your #1 cheerleader. Human or not man is just happy to be there, if anything he would be mad curious wanting to know every detail about you. Which can be good for late night talks lol
So have my headcannons!!
Mark x Alien!Reader
- “Wait is that like regular you, or your costume?” He apologizes every time he remembers his first words to you when he thought he was fighting a villain recognizing how he might need to check his words from now on.
- “You didn’t know Mark it’s fine.” Even after all the apologies he always takes you out for a sweet treat every time he remembers wanting to see a smile on your face, and not hate him for his words. (Which you can never do)
- If you ever want to win an argument you always pull that card, effectively making him shut up and get on his knees to apologize.
- Without you knowing he has made a list of all your little quirks in his note apps, never wanting to forget something that can make you feel out of place with your time on Earth.
- He was always so curious where you came from, as he admired the gold lines streaking your body, it was a delicate set of patterns that glow when you’re feeling too much of one emotion. And the singular twirly antenna sprout you have on the top of your head made it hard for him to not fall for you, weirdly so. All of this effectively made you stick out when you’re walking down the streets as you’re usually beaming, a walking star practically.
-It hurts his eyes, like really bad (he’ll never tell you this) so by the end of the day he’s squinting at his mom trying to recall the moments he had good vision
- Everytime people give him the solution of sunglasses he shoots it down, wanting to embrace every part of you… even if it blinds him
- You forced him to wear sunglasses ever since you saw his trash piled with eye drops
- “How do you not find them cute?” He asked shocked, looking up at you with a scooped up kitten in his arms. “These ‘things’ are demons on my planet practically.” You say bluntly, shivering at the cat-infested home you remembered you left. Misinterpreting your words as 100% truth; whenever there’s a cat nearby he scoops you up with so much panic you always assume you’re being under attacked. But in fact it was just him throwing you over his shoulder and hauling ass away from the cat.
- He likes feeling the difference between your skin, and the gold plates practically etched onto your body feeling the difference in texture. He likes hearing the noise when he taps on it hearing a clank every time making him chuckle.
-If we’re being honest he can keep himself entertained for a good hour just doing that with every part of your body.
-He still loves and cherishes it didn’t matter what you are. He loves the crinkle your eyes do whenever you smile, the way you wear your emotions free for everyone to see never ashamed of who you were.
- You being so in tune with your emotions, you always help him understand his own considering everything he goes through, glad you’re by him through it all.
- It was a burning question every time he sees your antenna bouncing around. He needs to ask. But would he offend? He doesn’t want to. But the curiosity is killing him.
- It took him a year to ask you.
- “If like…… someone cuts your antenna do you die?”
- You couldn’t help but give him massive side-eye as you try to see if he’s holding an unknown pair of scissors. It doesn’t go unnoticed by him.
- “It’s not like I was going to cut it!”
- “You said it so suspiciously can you blame me!”
- You don’t die if it’s cut. (Much to your own relief whenever you see Mark holding scissors)
- He’s glad that you never joined the hero scene much to Cecil’s dismay considering he knows what’s going to happen if you do.
-Everyone is going to love you, see how beautiful you are, fall in love and there’s never going to be enough time to be one another, and you’ll leave him to rot. And he really wouldn’t want to resort to locking you in his closet so he’s grateful you’re all his.
-That’s what he says atleast as you gave him an unimpressed look at his dramatics.
- “That wouldn’t happen.”
- “You don’t know that.”
- He adores and practically kisses the floor you walk on, never feeling luckier to be called your boyfriend.
- If you get Mark to love you human or not he would do anything in his power to make you the happiest person in the planet.
people who don't experience hyperfixation don't know what it feels like to hyperfixate so much on something that it becomes not only your subject of obsession but also your source of happiness and literally the main reason why you still keep going; literal source of strength and life.
shoutout to my favorite fictional characters, favorite people, favorite ships, favorite movies, favorite tv shows, fanfics and archive of our own
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I need you to understand that when I say "comments are appreciated!" I mean that I will reply to every one of them. I mean that an email with an ao3 notification has a higher priority than a message from my mother. I mean that I will have entire discussions in the comment section if you're up for it. Message me on tumblr and I will have the same discussions on an even more unhinged level. I will dissect entire personalities and ships and fictional political structures and worldbuilding with you. I will become your new best friend. You already ARE my new best friend. At the last battle, I would raise Anduril and say "For my ao3 readers" while a single tears rolls down my cheek, and dive into the fray. I would upload from beyond the grave if someone asked about the next chapter
i usually am so excited when i finish writing any piece that i think it’s the best ever fckin masterpiece and then of course i post it only to read it a month later and ask myself what is this shi—
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a/n - YOOOOO!? why does he look fine in this angle (pure terrible written smut again tbh hehehehhe ——- i’m drunk ill fix it in a couple days)
@madzpm I’m tagging you but don’t be disappointed i’ll fix it in a couple days (╯︵╰)
“We can’t do this again. I need to go please.” He didn’t want to hear it. Waking up after you both peacefully slept next to one another without you by his side confirmed his thoughts about you.
He hates how devoted you are. How devoted you are to your Mark even when he fucking you into his pillows. When poor Mark was trying to stand his own against all the variants you were getting fucked stupid in a random home, happily taking what he gave. “You really think you want to be with that Mark.” Gritting your teeth as you felt his hand grip tighter onto your hair you tried keeping your tears away not wanting to entertain him any further. Scared if you showed anything he would take advantage of it.
“Don’t you get it.” In a destroyed building you can only hear each other heavy breathing, knowing sinfully where this is going to go. Not trying to make an effort to get away anymore.
“I would treat you so good.” The Mark in-front of you almost pathetically said. He was desperate for you to understand how much he loves you. How much he’s willing to do if it meant having you by his side. “Why are you doing this.” He shouldn’t admit this. As his head rested on your chest he felt your heartbeat be everything but normal. You were scared of him. Of the consequences it might bring if you continue this.
It should’ve deterred him and finally leave you alone. But the thought excited him. You wanted him. And he knew this fully well. He has everything in his world yet all he wants in this one is to fuck you until you become all his. You are only his. You need to know this. And he’ll make you understand this.
Pressing his lips against you, he wanted you to feel his desperation, a desperation he only wants to show you. You are his and he is yours. Biting your lip letting out an airy moan he slipped his tongue tasting everything of yours. His body against yours as you feel against his suit how much he wanted you. Letting your hands ghost over his crotch making him groan into your kiss. Your touch being everything he missed, he’ll accept everything you give. “Keep on going.” He moaned out kissing your neck. Sucking onto it softly as you felt your body buck into him in response.
You’re betraying him. You know you are. But as you peel away from this Mark his flushed heaving face made you forget what you ever wanted. The adoration he looked at you with, the longing to appreciate everything you are made you pathetically want him.
“I hate you.” You confessed making him pull away with a pained smile. The Mark infront of you was disgusting man. He’s killed hundreds of innocent, yet here you are lying in an abandoned building hoping he takes whatever left of what you are. “Do you really now?” Biting into your lower neck you let out an embarrassed moan, feeling the pleasure wrap your entire being. He destroys all defenses you have, but you can’t even act like you hate it. You wanted this. You wanted him. The want he has for you doesn’t compared to your Mark’s.
Does it make you into a bad person?
Yes.
But you no longer care, pressing your lips back into his making him grin. You were his. Feeling your lower half grind into his dick painfully so he bit into your lower neck again making you gasp happily. Teasing one another of who can break feeling his dick harden underneath you making you sigh happily. “Oh god Mark~” Pathetically moaning out you quickened your pace making him grip his fingers around your waist. “Just keep doing that.” He moaned out as you grind against him, a playful motion you don’t get tired of, wanting to feel every part of him.
Not wanting to waste time his mouth finally latched onto your nipple making you shudder. Breathing heavily you felt your fingers tangle into his hair pulling him closer making him moan out. Willing to do everything for you that brings you pleasure. Swirling his tongue his fingers drifted to your clit lightly tapping it wanting to feel every reaction out of you. Hips shifting against his fingers, whining for his touch. With spit covered fingers he finally shoved it into your hole wanting to fuck everything of him in you.
One finger.
Then two.
A consistent pace as he heard the wet squelches echo throughout the building. “You ok?” Nodding as you felt the rough rubble scratch against your back up and down. Adding onto the painful pleasure your hands wrapped around his neck grinding into his fingers wanting to feel every part of him. “Just hurry please.” You whined making his dick harden at the thought. “Do you even deserve it?” He questioned, quickly adding a third finger making you moan out in desperation wanting to feel every part of him. “Yes please! Please I swear….” He knows you don’t even even realize what you’re swearing to but the thought of your dumbed out face was enough to make him tease his dick at your entrance.
“Don’t you dare ever leave me.” Inserting into you slowly you let out a drawled out moan feeling every ridge of his dick entering your insides. Content with this you let your ass bounce against it making him moan into your ear, feeling the desperation at every touch. How his fingers dig into your sides painfully so making your nails dig into him in response. “This is all I want for you.” Feeling your plush hips he held onto it tightly letting you bounce at it at your pace, hearing your moans as encouragement. With quickened moans your nails dug into his shoulders wanting to feel every part of him. “I just want you to feel good.” Feeling every part of him was enough, you becoming a part of him was enough. You bit your lip dragging your hips along his dick making his grip on you tighten.
“C’mon that quickly?” He teased pulling away from you making you involuntary whine missing the warmth his dick provided. Barely sparing you glance you his head dropped into your wanting pussy, licking up every want of your being for him right then and there. Swirling his tongue as you gripped onto his hair , grinding into it wanting him to lap up every taste of you. He was yours.
And you knew he wanted it.
Moaning outloud as your fingers caressed his scalp you grinded back onto his tongue wanting to feel every part of him. Feeling him lick every part of you, you moaned out, never wanting him to forget your taste.
Shoving his hands into your mouth you spat out anything he wanted, feeling his dick rub everything with it before lining your entrance with it again. “Just hurry up.” You whined, making him whine with temptation. “God you’re something else.” He whispered out before finally inserting into you as you let out a drawled out moan. You were ethereal to him, a goddess that he needs to fuck to even compare standing beside. Grinding back onto his dick your whined feeling your orgasm coming as you held onto his neck tightly feeling yourself clench around him. Bouncing onto his dick you knew you couldn’t let go of this man. You wanted to protect him of everything, and you will. He’s made you feel whole, loved , and wanted. He’s your everything, as you feel the ridge of his dick grind against your dick unrelenting as you finally let yourself feel everything you wanted.
Moaning out as you bounced on his dick looking into his eyes, it didn’t matter he wasn’t your Mark. Practically ignoring the bloodied red and white suit you held onto him tightly feeling his dick fill your entire being with a lengthy moan, he is yours and you will carry his future. Stuttering thrusts you felt his cum fill you as he let out a relieving moan into your neck, wanting to stay connected with him, as you held him tightly not wanting to let him go, “I want to stay with you.”
You confessed to him. Holding onto you tightly you feel every muscle of his arm keep you there as he caressed your face.
With a tired sigh he placed a soft kiss on your forehead, “Don’t worry.”
“We’ll stay together.” Not promising a forever but instead making one to protect you as he laid his life for you. He would do everything for you, he won’t make the same mistakes he did in his own world. Just staying connected with him was enough hearing his steady breaths as you laid on his chest reminding you he’s still human, feeling the warmth of holding you so tightly, wanting to stay oblivious to the hurt ahead.
