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The last dish was finally washed. You let out a relieved sigh as you put the dish on the drying rack. Then you dried your hands with a kitchen towel and walked over to refill Astro’s water bowl. He barked as you bent down to get his bowl.

You smiled softly. “I know Astro, I know.” With your free hand you gave him a quick, playful, scratch on the tummy.

Then you walked over and filled his bowl with clean water. After you put it back in its place you walked over to the living room to tidy up before bed. 

As you tidied up you remembered what Sunyoung had once told you: “A clean house makes for a clean heart.”

The sides of your mouth quirked upwards. You wanted to smile....but it was too painful to remember her and smile. You still couldn’t do it.

You sank down onto the couch and sighed. You grabbed the throw pillow next to you and pressed it against your chest, as if trying to suppress the wave of melancholy that was about to wash over you. Every time you thought of her melancholy followed. It was like clockwork.

Surely enough, that sinking feeling washed over you. You closed your eyes and laid back on the couch. It had been six months and yet her scent lingered in your apartment. Her smile was branded onto your heart and her eyes etched into your mind. 

Sunyoung was impossible to forget, even more impossible to get over.

You opened your eyes and grabbed your phone from your jean pocket. You unlocked the phone and clicked on the messaging app. You scrolled down and found the last messages you had sent to Sunyoung.

I’m sorry.

I miss you.

Please...

This isn’t how we were supposed to end...

I will always love you

The tears built and threatened to spill out but you shut your eyes tight and tried to hold them back. You couldn’t keep crying. You had to pull yourself together.

You stood up and went to your bedroom. You undressed and put on your pajamas. Then you slid into bed and tried to sleep.

But you tossed and turned for hours.

You sighed and reached for your phone on the nightstand. You unlocked it and went to your photo gallery. 

You smiled when her face popped up. You felt your whole body change, you felt yourself relax. 

You found an old video you’d taken of her while she was putting up clothes on the clothesline. You played it, half knowing you’d feel worse afterwards and half not caring. 

“Sunyoung!”

She turned around and laughed. “(y/n), don’t scare me like that!” She smiled. “Are you recording me?”

“It’ll be a fun video to show the kids when they’re older.”

Sunyoung laughed again. She walked up and wrapped her arms around your neck to give you a quick kiss. “And what will we name our future kids?”

“Hmmmmm, I’m not sure. What do you think?”

Sunyoung pretended to think. “Hhhhmmm I know!” She held up two fingers. “Hayoon and Jisung.”

You smiled at her. “And what do you want to tell Hayoon and Jisung?” You asked as you held the camera in front of her.

Sunyoung took a step away from you and cleared her throat. She looked into the camera. “Hello kids, if you’re watching this I just want you to know that your (father/mom) and I love you very much.” She looked up at you. “I love you (y/n).”

You stared into her eyes and smiled. “I love you too Sunyoung.”

The tears streamed down your face, staining your pillow.

How could you have let her go? How could you have lost her?

She was your worl- no, she was your sun and she was your moon.

She gave you warmth and let her sunshine wash over you and illuminate you. She let her night glow guide your way.

Sunyoung had given you everything. She had given herself in full to you.

So why?...Why did you lose her? Why didn’t you treasure her?

You put the phone down and turned over to the other side of your bed....the side where Sunyoung used to sleep. You pressed your face against her old pillow, hoping some of her scent lingered. 

You had done everything right. You had loved her. You met her family and she met yours. You helped her career, helped fulfill her musically.

And in the end it was all for nothing. She was gone. You were alone, crying into the pillow that used to be hers hoping you’d get one last whiff of her scent.

-

Your foot nervously tapped on the floor. You took another sip of your tea and prayed it calmed your nerves. 

A full year later. A full twelve months since she’d left. A full fifty-two weeks since you’d lost her.

Sunyoung walked into the cafe and walked over to your table as it was nothing, as if you were just an old friend she was going to catch up with.

She sat down across from you and took off her jacket. Then she looked over at you and smiled. She sighed. “Hi.”

Your heart fluttered at the sound of her voice. You tried to smile back but you were stunned into silence. 

Sunyoung smiled and looked down at her hands on the table. “Did you know it’s been 8760 hours since we last saw each other?”

You closed your eyes and chuckled. Sunyoung looked up at raised her brows.

“Are you laughing at me (y/n)?”

You opened your eyes and shook your head. “No it’s just that, well I haven’t stopped thinking about you since we broke up and even I didn’t know how many hours had passed.”

She kept her brows raised. “You haven’t stopped thinking about me?”

You nodded. “That’s right.”

Sunyoung softened and you could tell she was blushing. She cleared her throat and pulled a yellow envelope from her bag. “I called you here because I want to show you something.”

She handed you the envelope and you took it. You opened it and pulled out the sheets inside. They were music sheets.

“A song?”