I have always been a queer person, someone detached from what society considered "normal" in every possible way. I had passions that were seen as ridiculous or not feminine enough - video games, cosplay, tabletop RPGs - and I always gravitated toward non-conforming spaces (in my case, the dark/metal underground scene, which often overlaps with the subcultures that today are closely connected to queer communities)
And despite being considered a rarity, a small piece outside the "normal" system, often mocked for it (especially in middle school. Later I chose an art school, and things changed. Though even there I was judged in a different way: I was a left-wing liberal, and they called me a fascist because they were communists. A strange and unpleasant contradiction of Italian political culture), I never truly felt alone.
I always loved who I was. I was myself: unique, unusual, and special, but I was never alone. There were always other people like me.
Because even though it was the early 2000s and many of these things were hard to access, even though they were not mainstream and therefore harder to find, I was able to cherish the few friends - girls and boys alike - with whom I shared those worlds.
Because I found an underground community where there were many of us, free in our differences.
Because I had access to the internet as a teenager (I was 13), and it allowed me to discover information, J-rock and J-pop music, role-playing games, and a network of people scattered all across Italy, people I could meet, travel with, and who are still my friends today.
So when you feel lonely because you are "different" the truth is that you aren't. There are so many people like you, and no, they are not rare exceptions. They are part of humanity that has always existed and will continue to become more visible.
And today, as an adult woman who still carries the same passions but lives a much more stable and ordinary life, I can see how all of those passions, which back then were not yet gathered under a visible flag or a large, recognizable community like the LGBTQIA+ community of today, were actually part of the same tapestry.
Back then, there wasn't yet a flag that was so visible for us to gather beneath, nor a community that was so large and recognizable as it is today. We were many small worlds scattered apart, but we were already part of the same story.
A tapestry that is still being woven, waiting for new threads from other eccentric souls who believe they are alone.
But they are not.
yousharknotpass
tangentwithtanner
gracieabrams
germansingergirl
pixelskylines
snowghoul
