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if i look back, i am lost

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Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
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@rainhqs
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the ever present cigarette in her hand, matty stood near to the stage that, currently, hosted one of the absolute worst karaoke acts sheâd seen in her life. the copious amounts of alcohol consumed by the performer hadnât helped, but matty couldnât help but laugh at the off-key tune and the obvious touristâs burnt skin. âsuckinâ that bad takes courage. canât fathom makinâ such an ass outta yourselfâŚon stage, too. christ.â she was speaking to no one in particular, one arm folded across her chest, her other hand alternating between taking long drags and putting her thumb into her mouth to bite down on. âyâshould go up there, show âem what real talent it.â
Rain hadnât actually planned at all to venture off into the art district or join in on the First Friday antics; work was enough entertainment for them as it was, and was going to a festival of sorts really want she needed? no, yet, here they were: two beers and three shots in, a cigarette pinched between their teeth and watching the horrid act from the side of the stage. If she hadnât had alochol in her system, she probably would have already left and moved onto the next fun thing they could find; the alcohol made it bearable. Rain hummed along to the tune, alternating between watching the train wreck, and looking at the brunette just a few steps away from where she was. âthe magic of liquid courage,â they responded with a smile, russet hues wandering back to the stage for a split second before registering the next thing that Matty said, looking at her with one brow quirked up. âme? got up there? and what, make a fool of myself?â
hello, hi, peaches, iâm revamping rain because i backed myself into a corner with the little to no backstory that really wasnât thought out much, that i gave her lmao; so i introduce to you, rain 2.0!!
( kang seulgi | she/theyĂ | demigirl) hey, you hear what i need by hayley kiyoko ft. kehlani playing over on the 2nd floor? thatââŹâ˘s where rain kwon lives! i heard they moved in from Ă portland, oregon exactly Ă two months ago. theyââŹâ˘re very genuinebut also pretty rough. maybe thatââŹâ˘s why davie keeps calling them the opaque. starlit is full of people, but this 24 year old is really going to liven things up around here!Ă
possible trigger warnings: infidelity,Â

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iâm screeching @ my wifi. i had all of the last of my replies of my starter (albeit it was two i had left on rain) that i owed, done, but then my wifi went out while publishing them and i lost all of them. i could actually yell, but eufhurehgrgreh. iâm sorry, iâll get to them!!! i swear. iâm going to reply to a few starters on jae, and work on the ones that messed up. but, yo, i am more than happy to make closed threads so hmu or like this!!!Â
      ⊠⤠( closed starter for @rainhqs ) ⤠⊠sabrina had to admit this girl had such an interesting style to her. sure, sabrina was into fashion but at a very low level, super low. she was one toned colours, minimalist with a few sparks of detail here and there but nothing crazy or interesting. this girl just always seemed to look so ⤠cool. she took a seat next to rain and sighed dramatically. â please tell me your fashion tips. iâm so fucking curious. âÂ
Rain raised a brow in question when the girl took the seat next to them, immediately mentioning fashion and them. they knew their way around fashion -- or as much as most people knew, mostly about what suited themselves -- but they werenât opposed to the sudden interested or helping others. âare you asking me for fashion advice?â they questioned curiously, a crooked grin playing on their lips and one brow raised. ââcause, one, you are cute as can be, and two, iâm always willing to give advice.. even if i might not be the perfect person to askâ they said with a hum. â but if you find my style interesting, who am i to ignore that?âÂ
 have to zoom real quick but i should be back soon to do more replies, maybe make some clothes threads *nudge nudge*, and to set up my new honeyâs intro!
vjeong:
âNow thatâs the spirit!â Victoria let out a lighthearted laugh at Rainâs words. âNo, but really - itâs not that bad. The only difference between the bar rag and the high heels is that one of them is protected by security.â Being a pole slash gogo dancer herself, Tori constantly encouraged others to try it out for themselves if they have the temptation to. After all, itâs no secret she makes bank and loves her job. âBesides, youâre hot.â Tori looked over the girl with a smile. âOh yeah, sheâs a highly tipped one.â
rain was incapable of hiding the slanted grin that painted their lips at Victoriaâs words that were more encouraging than not. âNow that sounds fabulous,â her words carried a joking tone, eyes bright with amusement and clear interest. as much as she was joking and would continue to do so, it was still a matter of what she needed to do and how she was going to go about her issues; procrastination at best. âYou sure know how to boost onesâ confidence, but it shouldnât surprise me; youâre a damn goddess, look at yourself, peach.â they hummed, nodding as if in approval. âso, whatâs a person gotta know to get their foot in the door?â
ohfckbastian:
âYou should definitely consider it. Thereâs always tips as well, and Iâm sure people tip well when they have enough money to bet it allâ Bastian said with a shrug âThough, personally, I am more fond of the high heels and tiny clothes ideaâ.
âYou got a number? or are you one of those people who are like âuh, thereâs a thing called the internet there for a reasonâ?â rain questioned with an almost teasing tone. they quickly rolled their eyes with a short chuckle, humming as they responded. âiâm sure you, just like a good portion of the world, would. pay up front and you could book a showing right now.â

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youâll see me, youâll know me, youâll fall in love with me, youâll drown in me, youâll remember me.
iâll love you, iâll be all that you know, iâll swallow you whole, iâll haunt you.
we will love, we will live, we will be history.
aggiebxby:
aggie admired the starlit poolâs sparkling water as it wrapped around her shins, whispering alluringly up at her to slip the rest of her bikini-clad body into its arms. of course, she would â but aggie liked to tease. first, her toes. then, her ankles. slowly yet surely, she would gradually dip herself into the water inch-by-inch. she craved the tickle of the waterâs coldness along her spine, the slight sting of the chlorine as it soothed the nicks on her freshly-shaven legs. as she watched the ripples wiggle away from her submerged feet, aggie began to lower herself down from the poolâs side. she let out a small yelp â joy and shock all in one: ecstacy. within seconds, she was belly button-high in the swimming pool. aggie poured into a laugh, the pink, polka-dotted bikini top barely holding on as she excitedly shook her chest from side-to-side.Â
âhey â itâs not all gumdrops and dollar bills.â she finally mused back to the dark-haired angel sitting mere feet away from her little escapade in the pool, a serious look in her jade-colored eyes. aggie wasnât sure if she was thinking aloud or talking directly to her, but the small blonde decided to respond anyway. she had to defend her job, in the least, though she figured rain wasnât necessarily bad-mouthing the stripper life. âdancing is tough work,â aggie began again, slowly lifting her toes up and off the poolâs floor and letting her shoulder blades gently lean back against the water. âyou have to be sexy and vulnerable all at once, a product and the business woman all at once. itâs not just taking your titties out and swinging âround a pole â it takes major bolas.âÂ
tilting their head slightly as they listened to the blonde speak, rain took in the scene of the woman floating in the pool; amused, both by what she had to say and the little show of sorts she put on in the pool. âtell me all about it, blondie, iâm listening.â they mused encouragingly, willing to hear any and everything about the career path she was considering. rain couldnât help the meek chuckle that left her lips when aggie defended -- in the least aggressive way -- her profession; something the aforementioned admired. âif i may say, without disregarding everything youâve said, because i was listening and agree,â they started with a matter-of-fact tone. âpole dancing is a art, and i have absolutely nothing but respect for the work itself and the dancers.â
that was nothing but the truth, and if allowed, rain would probably give a auctioneer a run for their money with how much they could talk about the topic. they always had a interest in dancers, although they never actively became one. â and, you are right, it does take balls plus some and not just anyone can do it. which, if i were to heavily consider it, i would much rather learn everything i can -- preferably from someone who is well knowledgeable in the career -- before jumping in on it.â they concluded with a shrug rolling off their shoulders, standing up from where they sat at one of the poolside tables and moved to the waterâs edge; slowly dipping her bare feet into the water until it was at her knees. âhow long have you been in the business again?â
What would you change about yourself if you could?
âUh, nothing physical because iâve long since accepted that iâm fine with how i look, but, probably how damn stubborn i am? which that is a âproblemâ because i know how stubborn i am but i really donât see the issue in it? but other people do, or so iâve been told, since iâm not willing to bend backward to fit them and their needs? â I donât know, i donât think iâd change anything about myself.â
noeltho:
The moment heâd arrived at the park, heâd gotten a text from his friend, saying they were unable to meet him at the time they agreed. A sigh left his lips as he parked his bike next to a bench and took a seat. He took no notice of the person sitting on the opposite side as he stared at his phone, trying to reschedule to meet his friend another time. Once heâd finished, however, he chose to sit in silence, looking at the view ahead of him.
Noel made a face at the stranger as she began to speak and checked behind him to see if she had actually been talking to him. âUhâŚâ He wasnât quite sure how to respond at first, as the topic made him a bit uncomfortable. Was this a kind of conversation you should strike with a stranger? âI wouldnât, personally, but I mean, you gotta do what you gotta do.â Shrugging his shoulders, he looked away from them and stared ahead. He was never really good with eye contact. âAs long as what you do makes you happy in the end, thatâs all that matters, right?â
They had to bit back a laugh when the male turned to check behind him to see if she were talking to him or not. Rain was more or less talking aloud to herself and no one in particular, but now that someone was attempting ( or was unwilling subjected to the topic ) to make since of what she was saying, they werenât just about to ignore him. âa bit too upfront and personal?â it was a habit of theirs, being too straight forward and open about things that otherâs typically would keep hushed. she flashed the smallest of apologetic smiles, nodding her head and listening about what he had to say. âno offense, but it would be quite a sight to see someone.. as.. tall, as yourself up on a dancing pole.â sometimes the filter between their brain and mouth failed to work, the whole topic and conversation being proof. âa stable job that pays enough to where i donât have to worry about rent, is what would make me happy.âÂ
mcrettiz:
the worlds that were leaving their mouth raised no judgment for ryan. if he didnât have enough savings to carry him on plus a job that covered all the expenses without him having to mess with what he had in the bank, that would be his first choice of a job as well. working as a bartender, waiter, barista, or any of those types of jobs would never get them even close to the same amount of money that a stripper got just for the night. it was a really big difference and while some could see it as a demeaning job, ryan just thought it was fun and respected it just as much as he would any other job. âhey, if i had a nice body and no insecurities at all thatâs definitely what iâd be doing as well. strippers arenât prostitutes and they are very safe in the places they work at. there are many rules, no touching rules especially and many security guards to prevent accidents.â he explained, a shrugging falling from him. âitâs a win-win situation really.âÂ
rain listened to the otherâs explanation, their chin resting in the palm of their hand. she had nothing against being a bartender, she actually liked the job for the amount of things you witness and the stories you took away after a night of serving the party goers of the city; she just had to have other options, and being a stripper was at the top of her list. âone of my best friends once upon a time, was a stripper. and, from what iâve seen just from the secondhand experience of visiting her at work, i have high regards for those who work in that field. from the dancers, to the security guards.â rain explained, smiling as she thought back on the memories. âthe only thing stopping me is my coworkers at the bar, theyâre great and if it werenât for them, or davie, who actually pointed me in the direction of the bar, i wouldnât have the job there. iâd feel rude leaving that behind?â

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What do you hope to achieve by 50?
ârealistically, that i have shit figured out by then, yâknow? â but if iâm daydreaming, iâd love to own a farm and have tons of animals, and a family of my own by then.â
you're super cute!
âand you are the cutest, did you know that?â