Solar Storm

i want to lay down in bed

but alas, stummy

you win this round, insomnia you little bitch

but when i get you o h man am i gonna fucking get you

im gonna pass out and do nothing but sleep for hours

update

i am now fairly 95% certain i did not take my mood stabilizers i am bouncing off the fuckin WALLS man

why does my brain hate me getting a good night's sleep so much

like??? just a few minutes ago i was almost asleep and was hit with this fuckin wave of just. unexplainable fear.

i wasn't even afraid of anything in particular either. like i knew i was safe and everything was fine, but i couldn't shake the fear off for a good long while

it was almost like. idk somebody cast Cause Fear on me. you know from dnd5e

i genuinely do not remember

but like

better to go a night without it than to overdose???? i guess????

last time i accidentally took a double dose i was so eepy i slept through the whole day and it was deeply unsettling

i could have been being productive but no i was snoozing the day away

couldn't even get up to eat so like

yeah don't overdose kiddos

not even on accident

mama rainy will come find you and stare at you disapprovingly through your window

and if you don't have a window i will make one by gnawing a whole through the brick and mortar

about fourish years ago, i experienced the most amazing, emotional, gut-wrenching, slightly heartwarming before ripping my heart out, beautifully written 45 minutes of my life

hoooo boy that movie was only 45 minutes and fundamentally changed me as a person

wtf i went to bed at the usual 1:30 am, why

i did what i was supposed to in order to sleep in

hhhhh

both of our main candidates are just senile old men who love nothing more than to blow hot air at each other out their asses

fucking

what am i supposed to do here

i hate the both of them with a burning passion

I may be smort. Sososo smort.

But I am also very

very

exceedingly

unfathomably stupi

i am officially done with college for realsies this time

no more school for me, school over. out. school's out. for. the summer!

i do not wish to go to the workout today

i eepy, i gots the acid reflux, and joints achy

i can feel my teeth

ive got so many bug bites

plus like

allergies are being a bitch rn

but alas, i have no choice

I try not to get too political on here, but at this point I am just so fucking disgusted.

They disguised themselves as humanitarian aide in order to attack refugees.

They have been continually bombing places where they told civilians to go in order to be safe.

They are using drones to play sounds of children in distress in order to lure people out of hiding so they can shoot them.

How many war crimes need to be committed before it's too much?

It's already been way too much.

An entire generation of students, CHILDREN, are dead. And more are dying.

Enough is enough.

Don't know if it's iron deficiency or if I'm still experiencing prolonged vertigo, but it sure is annoying.

Like no, I don't want to have BRAIN FOG I want to be PRODUCTIVE

I've got homework to do, and yet I'm just kinda sitting here like "Don't pass out, Rainy, don't you dare pass out"