I do what I want I’m a pirate

Idia

it was just supposed to be a simple game of paintball. the teams were separated into two groups. three in each group. on one side, it was you, harlequin and jester. on the other side, it was ticket taker, the doctor and much to his dismay to be separated from his dear, pierrot. it was supposed to be fair game! pierrot was technically the strongest out of all five of them— possibly all of them combined. the only issue was if he could even bring himself to shoot you in this hypothetical game of shooting. meanwhile, harlequin and jester being a close second, their straight went head to toe depending on who had the upper hand. even when ticket taker and the doctor was considered technically the ❛ weakest ❜ of the rest. but compared to a human like yourself, this would just be a simple game amongst the monsters that grew with one another. this was supposed… to be easy. to be simple. right? right? this was technically an outdoor game. this was their element.

❝ you ready? you sure you have enough stamina for such a high intensity game with us~ ❞ harlequin purred, practically tracing his fingers along your shoulder. as you were quite quiet. focused even. while you strapped your own gear to yourself. checking that everything was in motion. ❝ don’t go teasing the sweet lamb. pierrot wouldn’t be enjoying you so… close to his dear ❞ jester added with his melodic voice that ring out in the forest. his fingers tracing the wood of the enclosed space outdoors. the two teams were separated in two different sides of the area. to make sure they wouldn’t end the game so quickly.

before you turned to the both of them. ❝ bless your heart. i’m loaded for bear ❞ your accent was thick… coming out like a drawl. a glint in your eyes as you held the paintball gun. you pulled away from the two. ❝ don’t disappoint me, men ❞ you cocked your gun. before the sound of the bell rang through the outdoor space. they had to double take because you had disappeared into the forested area. like you were concealing yourself completely. ❝ well, i will be damned ❞ harlequin chuckled as he ran his claws along his dark curly locks. ❝ but they can’t be so naive ❞ jester spoke, not expecting you to even go past one of them.

though there was a momentary silence. ❝ i am not sure if they were being patronising or not, just now ❞ harlequin added. they have heard southern accents. it was still english at the end of the day. it was just the phrases that you spoke that confused them.

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it was utter chaos. the fact that ten minutes in the game, no one had yet to even find you. and mind you, they were monsters who could hear a heartbeat to the sound of blood rushing through one’s veins. but you… were silent. it was unnaturally eerie. the fact that both jester and harlequin was searching for the team mate with no avail. it was as if you camouflaged into the natural scenery, like you had become one with nature itself. though that didn’t stop your team from also defending. they knew to avoid the tall one in red, pierrot was a marksman. if it weren’t for the fact that he pretended to miss all his knife throws to show macabre scenes, he actually had a really good aim.

meanwhile, the doctor was looking around. taking in the natural scenes that he had missed quite a bit. he didn’t often leave the circus due to his appearance. but you were quite insistent to include him in the group activities. then he heard a sudden heart beat, he turned around. but seeing just a lone bunny sitting there. almost frozen like hoping that if they don’t move, the tall man who wore a plague mask wouldn’t see them. ❝ hmm… just a rabbit ❞ he murmured as he could see that the rabbit tried to flee away from his line of sight. not animals remain around his presence.

but he turned around. only to feel a splatter against the back of his head. he blinked behind his large goggles. his hand reached up and touched the paint. seeing it cover his gloves. he turned around and saw you. practically hanging off a tree by using your lower body strength. your legs hooked around a thick branch. ❝ this is like shooting fish in a barrel ❞ this was too easy. too easy. you knew how they would underestimate you. you were just a human. but you had managed to take down one of them. a simple human with no powers or using any supernatural senses.

❝ bravo. you have taken me down ❞ the doctor clapped his hands. amused by your bravery. you gave him a wide grin before you once again disappeared amongst the trees. the doctor watched silently as he rubbed the back of his hood. he didn’t expect that he would be out first. but somehow that was a good thing. it gave him a reason to watch you and see how much you pushed your body to match their capabilities. and that was exceeding his expectation exponentially. the thrill of watching you extorting yourself while you possibly take down everyone given the chance. ❝ impressive. so utterly impressive you are, my tasty patient ❞

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ticket taker was keeping a distance. he was not a man who enjoyed messes. he was going to simply reject playing such games that would result in his clothes being dirtied. even when he was covered in another layer so that the paint possibly wouldn’t permeated into his pristine suit. while he was polishing the paint gun with a simple cloth. wiping away the debris and dirt. he had managed to escape from jester. it was good news that they were unable to use their powers in a moment such as this. he was just hoping not to find harlequin. he was the fastest amongst them all. it was possibly the only thing that separated harlequin and pierrot.

the thing was that he heard the doctor was out. was it harlequin? or possibly jester who had taken down the doctor. while he was in a deep train of thought. not even considering you, someone who seem too fond with animals and honestly, you compared to a man who was bordering seven foot? there was no chance that you would have taken down the doctor that easily when you couldn’t simply mask your scent, your every sound, right?

❝ oh, ticket taker. you are making me as happy as a pig in mud ❞ you smiled. he looked down, wondering when did you get there. before you shot him just on his mask. giving him no chance to even react. his eyes widened before narrowing at your audacity. but you immediately pulled away from him. brushing your clothes with expertise. how long have you been waiting there? amongst all then grass and foliage like it was some kind of hide and seek. you possibly had rubbed yourself off a sappy tree or even tried to drench your scent with the scents of nature itself.

you turned to look at him with a grin on your face. ❝ don’t cause a hissy fit. i tried my best to avoid your clothes ❞ you chirped with an excited expression. you were wondering how both jester and harlequin was at the moment. they probably went to defeat the lord… or was it to launder money. ticket taker narrowed his eyes at your defiance. but he knew one thing. you were extremely strong. strong for a human. or possible you were extremely perceptive. ❝ i will try not to, dear red ticket holder ❞

——————————————————————————

you were now face to face with pierrot. the hardest one due to his reflexes. and the last one standing. you could feel the sweat dripping down your brow after all that extortion. they may be predators by nature— but you were not going to bow down and show your neck. that was backing down a fight. and your peepaw had taught you that ❛ all’s fair in love and war ❜ in the face of a fight. and to go up against someone who was physically stronger than you, possibly decuple the amount of a normal human. you knew when to stand down or not. but you also knew you had assets. had cards up your sleeves. but the fact he was going so slowly. it bothered you. because you know he was like a bat out of hell. he had taken down both jester and harlequin.

so you were going the psychological route. so you spread your arms out to him. he who was holding the paintball gun, he had taken down harlequin… that he was definitely covered in paint. he didn’t even let him have any breathing room. ❝ oh cupcake, gimme some sugar ❞ you smiled. your words were sweet but as thick as running molasses. tapping your cheek, to almost give him an indication that you wanted a kiss in the cheek. and pierrot, the man who loved and cherished you like you were finer than frog hair, was stuck on a crossroads.

even practically everyone else from a distance was trying to convince him not to fall into temptation. ❝ you idiot— don’t fall for that fallacy ❞ jester was not happy how the fact that one of the last one standing was a human being. even when he would commend you with your rather… unique ability to shoot them down and being eerily silent.

poor pierrot was stuck in between the middle. from immediately indulging into a moment where he can pull you into a hug and smother your face with kisses. meanwhile everyone else was telling him that it was a trap… but he loved you so much that he was willing to be and do anything for you. but that momentary opening, you raised your hand and immediately shot your gun. right at his chest, where his heart was. with a triumphant grin adoring your features. ❝ bang! ❞ you spoke with a chuckle. ❝ hooked, line and sinker ❞ somehow seeing your expression that was completely new, pierrot had fallen on his butt. looking up at you. as you approach him, your eyes seem to be filled with this competitive joy satiated.

Genre : fluff

Warnings : there's a brief sexual connotation from Angel because it's Angel but it's nothing too drastic.

A/n : Kasane Teto to the rescue once again. She invokes something deep within me that makes my fingers type at super speed. There may be spelling errors in this, I apologise if so, my eyes haven't been the best lately my keyboard gets blurry when I'm staring at a screen for too long :/ i'll be getting new contacts soon them bitches are expensive. This is a shorter post because it's more dialogue heavy, I'm trying to practice not describing characters actions so much because I feel like it clutters my writing a lot and ruins pacing. I love and hate writing sm grr

The funny thing about being married to Alastor is that nobody ever believes you.

Not because it's a secret - no no no, the rings are right there. His polished red band with antique etching, yours something elegant he picked because "it suits you my dear!" - but because neither of you behave the way people expect married couples to.

No clinging.

No pet names.

No public displays of affection.

Just... proximity. Familiarity. A shared understanding so seamless it borders on eerie.

Most days, you and Alastor function like old friends who simply happen to share a room, a routine, and an eternal partnership forged in life or death depending on who you ask (and Alastor never gives a straight answer).

So naturally, when you woke up that morning feeling... different - softer, warmer, a little more romantic than usual - it didn't feel like a big thing.

It just felt like one of those rare days.

Breakfast as the hotel was business as usual. Charlie chatting brightly, Vaggie observing, Angel was applying makeup whilst eating pancakes, Husk nursing a drink far too early. Alastor sat next to you, hands folded politely, legs crossed, his smile fixed pleasant as ever.

You reached for your tea, he reached for sugar at the same time and your fingers happen to brush. When you paused, there was a flicker - brief, fond - behind his eyes.

"Sugar, dear?" He hummed out lightly, suddenly brighter than he was as he grabbed your cup and the sugar, setting your tea down in front of you kindly.

You smile at him affectionately, resting your face in the palm of your hand," always the gentleman."

"It's simple ettiquette," he took a spoonful of sugar," how many teaspoons?"

"Mmm... guess."

His ear flicked, amusement in his gaze," Oh?"

You grin at him cheekily," you should know this information!" You laughed out at his reaction.

Alastor’s smile curves, unhurried. He doesn’t even glance at the sugar, “Two and a half,” he says, already measuring it out. “Any more and you claim it overwhelms the tea. Any less and you drink it politely while resenting me.”

He stirs once. Twice. Exact.

You watch, fond, chin in your palm. “Predictable.”

“Attentive,” he corrects lightly, sliding the cup back toward you.

Your fingers brush again as you take it. Neither of you reacts this time. There’s no need.

You take a sip. Perfect.

“Thank you,” you murmur.

“Of course.”

Something in you softens. It isn’t dramatic. It never is. Just one of those moments where affection feels close to the surface instead of tucked neatly away.

You lean closer and press a brief kiss to the corner of his mouth.

That’s all.

There’s a pause - not shock, not outrage. Just a subtle break in the rhythm of the room.

Charlie falters mid-sentence, then recovers, smiling quietly to herself.

Vaggie’s brows lift, then settle. Not surprised - just reassessing.

Husk glances over the rim of his glass, snorts softly, and goes back to his drink.

Angel’s eyes narrow a fraction, thoughtful rather than stunned, pausing it chewing his pancakes.

No one says anything right away.

Alastor’s hand comes to rest at your lower back, familiar and light, “My dear,” he says pleasantly, “you’re feeling bold today.”

You laugh lightly," It was a 'thank you' kiss.”

He accepts that without question.

It’s only then that you notice the looks. They were not gawking, just… puzzled.

You frown slightly at them all, “what.”

Angel is the first to speak, raising a brow with a sharp grin," didn't realise you two were... y'know..." He made an 'O' and then put a finger in and out of it. Mimicking sex. Childishly.

"Hah." You merely deadpanned out at him before you blink in realisation. You turn, gaze sweeping the room. “hold on, did you all think we were just friends?”

There’s a beat.

Angel shrugs. “I mean. Kinda?”

Husk grunts. “Figured you were close.”

“Close?” you repeat, incredulous.

Charlie tilts her head, thoughtful. “You’re always together, but you don’t… you know. Act like most couples.”

Alastor chuckles, clearly amused, “How disappointing we must be.” he reaches over to your tea and took a sip of it now that you were distracted.

You blink, shaking your head at the others, “I thought it was rather obvious.”

“Obvious how?” Angel asks with a haughty snort, legs crossing over one another as he looks over the two of you like you were his new favourite reality show.

You gesture between yourself and Alastor with puffed-out cheeks like the answer was right in front of them, “The way he always knows what I want before I say it? The way we gravitate toward each other in a room?? The fact that he never touches anyone but somehow always finds a way to be near me???”

Alastor’s smile sharpens, very pleased, “You flatter me.”

“I’m serious,” you groan to the man, genuinely baffled before turning back to the group of demons with slumped shoulders,“ Did none of you notice?”

Husk snorts again. “Guess we just didn’t wanna assume.”

Alastor leans in slightly, voice warm and faintly teasing. “It seems, my dear, that our chemistry is… understated.”

You glance up at him,“ You’re telling me people didn’t clock us?”

“Apparently not.”

You sigh, mock-offended. “All these years.”

He squeezes your hand once. “Tragic.”

Vaggie rolls her eyes as she went back to picking at her breakfast as she shrugged casually," you two keep it private. It's none of our business."

Charlie nodded enthusastically with a sunny smile," Yeah!! It's nice to know you guys are married! I always thought it was weird that Y/n would come out of the same bedroom every morning with Alastor so now I at least know she's not sneaking into his room at night like a creep-"

"Oh my god..." your fingers come to your temple and began to rub at Charlie's description, Angel's amused cackles making a headache begin to build up.

You felt the familiar pat to the top of your head, it was sympathetic. But you could sense Alastor's amusement from a mile away.

"Maybe telegraphing our affection once in a while wouldn't hurt." You hear him say, the unmistakable grin to his voice making you have to fight back a smile of your own," just to prevent the assumptions that you're my stalker, of course!"