The Crossover You Didn't Know You Needed: Bill, the Galactic Hero meets Omen IV: The Awakening
Ever wondered what would happen if Harry Harrison's absurdist space satire collided with the unholy chaos of The Omen franchise? No? Well, it's happening anyway.
In the 8950s, Bill—a space trooper who just wants a medal and a nap—gets dragged into the Alien Historian's most deranged plan yet: transplanting the embryo of Alexander the Great into a little girl adopted from a New York orphanage in 1982. That girl? Delia York. Yes, that Delia York.
The key players:
👽 Bill – Reluctant hero from Phigerinadon II. Knows nothing about Earth except that Hannibal had elephants and chimera taste weird. Very tired. Very hungry.
🖖 Splock – Nocturnian science officer from Fortinbras II. Emotionless. Logical. Buzzing monotone voice. His people think feelings are for amateurs. He's very proud of his analogies.
🏴☠️ Ham Duo & Chewgumma – Partners in temporal chaos. Duo has a grudge against the Alien Historian and an unfinished story about a flamenco dancer's outfit that he's desperate to tell. Chewgumma is the furry voice of reason who calls him a "big shit" in Kookie.
👨🦲 The Alien Historian – Bald, finned, Nehru-jacketed menace. Previously made oil unburnable and saved forests. Now he's aiming for world domination via an unborn conqueror. Very confident. Very wrong.
⏱️ The Disruptors – Four time-travel devices. One consciousness. The voice of a 21st-century Hungarian psycho-physicist named Raimundo Szekeley. They have opinions about ownership and theology. They remember Bill. They're not sure about Duo.
It's a parody of Star Trek. It's a nod to Star Wars. It's a loving tribute to satirical sci-fi legends Harrison and Sheckley. It's dark comedy wrapped in paradoxes, featuring enough Hungarian sass to destabilize a timeline.
Can Bill and his motley crew find the right York family in a city of millions with nothing but bad data and worse luck? Will Ham Duo ever get to tell that flamenco dancer story? And why do the Disruptors keep making theological jokes?
