🪐

alright this is longer than the other two combined but it's not my fault he is a madman. here we go

Matilda: was this necessary. was this necessary. Hey quick question was this necessary. I think we all know why this is number one and it's especially sickening that this ONE SINGULAR TIME in his career he chose not to be even a little vague in his lyrics, not one word minced. like did he really need to say "your family never showed you love" with his chest like that :/. second of all, writing a song about found family and DIY-ing clothes and growing up isolated and naming it after Matilda knowing his whole fanbase is made up of sentimental homosexuals and repressed eldest sisters WAS targetted behaviour. in second person too. he really said "YOU are gay and alone.. but it is okay ❤️".

Keep Driving: the already infamous choking/cocaine line, the science, the edibles, the bad-driving metaphor etc etc yes, ALL psychotic. but probably the most unhinged unnecessary part is the sickly sweet slap in the face that is "hashbrown, egg yolk, I will always love you" ambushing me with no forewarning. makes me want to jackhammer my head into the nearest wall until my skull is pulverised. why would you put a line like that in a song that is also about sideboob and then have the audacity to tell ME to "just act normal"?? you are preaching from hell.

Music for a Sushi Restaurant: he put his brain in a blender and then served it up. just absolutely saying whatever the fuck, not even trying to make sense, 50 different things going on at all times. like it's him in the studio reading a takeout menu over that Glee Club ba ba-ba acapella harmony, making a british pun about cocaine, hitting dog frequencies with those falsettos, pondering society if we could eat stars, and then proudly declaring he's not going to go broke as if anyone even asked. like okay..... music for a psych ward.

Little Freak: yeah he clearly walked into the studio dick first with this one but pensively somehow. talking about wet dreams but i feel like witnessing a slam poetry reading. philosophical horniness. Little Nietzsche.

Boyfriends: he had a simon and garfunkel beat, gay misandry in his heart, and a dream. doubly psychotic that this was conceived on the same day as the Fuck Straight People anthem that is Lights Up... he said heterosexuality it ain't me 🤣🙏 but you gay people are on thin ice too. (also let's not think too hard about "I'm not ever going back" / "you fool, you're back at it again"...... his mind is a saw trap)

Love of My Life: I do actually subscribe to the idea that this song is about England and not a person bc it makes it so funny. "you were the love of my life, will it ever be the same, I wish I knew you better"... brother it is a country. England unfortunately still exists. where is it going to go. you are so dramatic.

Cinema: never witnessed a more aquarian move than being in an intimate relationship with someone, sleeping in the same bed, going on late night drives, dancing, spending all your time with them and then after all that being like do you like me tho do you think im cool do you think im chill? then he spends the last 1 minute making a sex pun about popcorn.

As It Was: are we institutionalising ourselves or shaking ass like what is the energy here. why does this song about clinical depression make me want to do 15 consecutive cartwheels

Satellite: "am I bothering you do you wanna talk" to "I don't want to talk to you" within 60 seconds. if i said i want to talk then i didnt bc i dont. no i didnt <3

Daydreaming: yeah yeah a song about horny dreams what's new. the most insane part of it though is definitely the bass line like.... that is the bass line written by a man taken HOSTAGE. a man FIGHTING for his LIFE. convinced kid harpoon was in that studio with a gun to Harry's head, finger on the trigger and all. Like everytime I listen to this song I imagine him getting waterboarded because there's no other explanation.

Daylight: the insanity of sandwiching a song about riding bikes and sitting on roofs and finding life and bluebirds and honey between one about crippling loneliness and one about dangling wet dreams. be serious for once in your life harry.

Late Night Talking: funky little anthem but what do you mean "late night talking"? we all know ur geriatric ass is all tucked in by 9PM on the dot, Scrooge nightcap on and all. stayed up til 9:30 and wrote a whole song about it.

Grapejuice: mostly just toothache-inducingly sweet but sidenote: i truly despise being provided insight into his food/wine taste bc its always horrific and caucasian. genuinely enjoying red wine..? please stop. imagine you go over to this man's house and he's serving pile of boiled peas with some nasty ass shiraz to wash it down lord have mercy

I feel like context is very, very important, so you can expand my post for that.

i hadn’t but i did just for you <3 and bc there’s been so much talk about how fine line isnt insane just because it’s a more cohesive project 🙄. sorry this ones long, he’s crazy. 

cherry: obviously. the pained screaming at the end. the insanity of including the voicenote. the overall pettiness. not to mention my favorite bit: "does he take you walking around his PARENTS' gallery?". he said I miss you and also your stupid little new boyfriend is a nepotism child who has never achieved anything himself in his entire life. anyway I wear ur shirt sometimes :(

watermelon sugar: he wrote a whole song about how if he doesn't eat pussy he Will die. unprovoked. also legitimately hilarious and unhinged how he took an exes favorite book, made it into a song about box munching (which has. NOTHING to do with the plot), and then had that song become HIS entire identity to everyone that knows him. and he put his little trumpets on it to top it off. finessed. crazy. horny.

to be so lonely: actual crazy behaviour to put this DIRECTLY after falling ("there's no one to blame but the drink and my wandering hands") and open with no actually you CAN'T blame me bc I'm a sweet little boy 🙄 also don't call him or me baby ever again. also I'm an arrogant son of a bitch. and jealous as fuck. not my fault tho

fine line: Girl I am sobbing. what the fuck is crisp trepidation. you are not normal

she: *most mindboggling cryptic shit about either a gender crisis or wet dreams for 3 min* *guitar solo*

treat people with kindness: song itself is very bright and loud and but in a 'i have screws loose' way. it's like the auditory version of seeing a clown. like this is fun but why do I get the feeling that someone is about to die. I mean "if our friends all pass away, it's okay".... COME AGAIN???

golden: most depressing fucking 'love song' of all time. every lyric in this is a direct act of war. shan't elaborate

falling: oh the concept of becoming something you hate because you feel so unwanted and worry that someone who means a lot to you will regret what you had so much that they will never mention you or even need you, and that feeling weighs you down in every way and you don't even think you can change 😂😐 very cool very fun thank you

adore you: "I would die for you I worship the ground you walk. but you don't have to say you love me LMFAOOOO EWW". girl.... 

lights up: about self discovery! very fun very beautiful, but incredibly funny that the verses are like "I respect heterosexuality (no I don't. never going back) but it ain't me 🙏"

sunflower vol. 6: why is it the 6th volume. where are the other five. (on a serious note, constantly thinking about the link to 'Flowers in the Window’ (the song he wanted played at his funeral) which has a similar "plant new seeds" lyric 😐. society if harry could write one love song without referencing endless suffering or death).

I FORGOT ABOUT THIS. But yes you got it:

kiwi: obvious number 1. the hook being “im having your baby its none of your business”? holland tunnel for a nose its always backed up?? the sniffing noise!? she’s all over me ITS LIKE I PAID FOR IT???? the title having literally nothing to do with the song? the song being horny and psychotic as fuck and the music video being hehe puppies and cupcakes?? it being in between sweet creature and esny on the tracklist? the way none of it makes any fucking sense?? guitar solo??? he was taking zero prisoners.

from the dining table: if the depressed jacking off in the literal opening line wasn’t enough he then goes onto say he almost said his exes name after sleeping with their clone. seek help 

sign of the times: truly very few things crazier than debuting into your solo career with a 6 minute political non radio-friendly soft-rock ballad from the perspective of a mother on her deathbed telling her newborn that they have to find a way out in a world that is doomed and burning (that you happened to write in FIVE MINUTES) risking potentially alienating ur entire bubblegum pop audience and then calling it “playing it safe”. 

carolina: name dropped her, said the pussy was fire, and then outed her for underage drinking. ruthless. 

only angel: simply “IM STILL THE ONLY ONE WHO’S BEEN IN LOVE WITH ME” 😐. ‘hahah im gonna die alone’ in first few lines and then proceeds to sing about hole for the next 3 minutes like nothing happened... 

woman: wannabe-homewrecker anthem

meet me in the hallway: who the fuck opens an album like this.... “just take the pain away” damn bitch slow down we’re only 2 minutes into this 

two ghosts: actually very soothing therefore not So unhinged except kinda hilarious to respond to a whole album written about you with a single song saying “this relationship is dead <3 we’re ghosts. thanks tho”

ever since new york: clearly a very meaningful and real song to him. the only thing i have to say is that on a personal level “ive been praying never did before” threatens to completely unravel me every single day

Deserves to be said in it’s own post again, but the latest criticism of Harry has more to do with their own bitterness and jealousy over their personal situations and Olivia and less to do with anything he’s actually doing during this pandemic. 

From conspiracy theorists who had no problem with the idea of him flying back and fourth between LA and London to “be with his husband” to people getting anxious for him to fly home to his mum for the holidays, the sudden “frustration” is pretty blatant.

When Harry traveled to Italy, the country had one of the most, if not the most tragic record of corona cases in Europe. Thousands of people spent weeks obsessing over every photo taken in Italy (even making trends about his penis ffs) both times he went there. Hell, he has trended nearly every time he’s been spotted outside with people having a fit over the photos nearly every single time. It’s truly bizarre for all these people to turn around and be this furious with him right now, to the point of aggressively cussing him out and making dozens of snide posts about it.

People have complaned about all things ranging from useless face coverings (bullshit) and how “unclean” he looks to how “bad” his outfit is.  The only other time I can remember people’s reactions being anywhere close to this, is when we saw him on his bike next to Kendall Jenner’s car. Sensing a pattern here.

Additionally, the people who keep harping on and on about the scarf as a mask, silk is considered amongst the more effective face coverings, as the material is particularly hydrophobic. We’ve known that since spring when people were making their own masks at home. He wore a silk mask to the wedding that people loved. So what’s the difference? We know what the difference is, but it’s amazing to see how blind people are to their own jealousy.