â Would you let it go? Itâs not that big a deal â
â Ok, you know what blows my mind? Women can see breasts any time they want. You just look down and there they are â
â Multiple orgasms! â
â Why do you have to break up with her? Be a man, just stop calling â
â Whatâs the matter? Why so scrunchy? â
â Oh, it was horrible. He called me young lady â
â Wow, being dumped by you obviously agrees with her â
â Oh, you uh, you wanna hear a freaky coincidence? â
â Heâs smart, heâs sophisticated, and he has a real job â
â Come on, we were great together. And not just at the fun stuff, but like, talking too â
â Iâm tellinâ you, this guy is perfect for you â
â Oh, god help us â
â I made a huge mistake. I never should have broken up with her. Will you help me? Please? â
â This is a date. Youâre going on a date â
â So whatâre you saying here? I should shave again, pick up some wine, what? â
â Well, you may wanna rethink the dirty underwear. This is basically the first time sheâs gonna see your underwearâyou want it to be dirty? â
â Where are they? Where are they? â
â This is nice. We never do anything just the two of us â
â Oh, my god, I am so glad you called me. I had the most supremely awful day â
â All right, showâs over. Nothing to see here â
â It is so great to meet a guy who is smart and funny, and has an emotional age beyond, like eight â
â Itâs just like pulling off a Band-aid. Just do it really fast, and then the wound is exposed â
â Ok, here we go. I donât think we should go out anymore â
â All right, all right, itâs just that you left a red sock in with all your whites, and now, everythingâs kinda pink â
â Iâm sorry, please donât be upset, it could happen to anyone â
â All right, look, Iâm not proud of this, ok? Well, maybe I am a little â
â Wait, wait, wait. You want him, I want her. He likes you â
â Iâm thinking, if we put our heads together, between the two of us, we can break them up â
â Oh, my god, Iâm so sorry. Are you ok? â
â This is the worst break-up in the history of the world â
â Does it still hurt? â