coolio

all of my friends are jerks i am a jerk but the important thing is if we are willing to be less of jerks to each other for the sake of other parties and not us for once

i’ve been told to just keep writing when i hurt and i can’t take it- somewhere, anywhere- and that’s why i’m doing this. it’s like 6 am and i can’t think of anything but how much it hurts that i’m away from the people i care about and desperately need and who need me. and yet i’m sitting here in the fucking fetal position thinking every single person is fine without me. like they can live without me.

i want to get better but this is all i can fucking think about. my god damn insecurities. it’s not making anything better.

my creative outlet is practically fucked. my desire to game, my desire for that stimulate that used to be so good at pulling me away from these nasty thoughts, is gone. everything i used as a distraction, as a coping mechanism, doesn’t fucking work anymore.

after checking facebook statuses, snapchat stories, instagram updates, aim statuses... i can’t help but feel like everyone is collectively doing better than me. or rather, without me.