dove/biast

Međimurje peered out of the tiny window with one large eye. Alas, na was either still too far away or the window was facing the wrong direction; na was greeted only by a void of icy stars. With a huff, na went back to sit on nu pallet to go over na mission directive one more time.

Međimurje was extremely proud to be able to call nuzelf a respected xenolinguist—and na had even acquired a research position with the largest Universal Interplanetary Language Regulation Board in the universe.

The main issue with a universal language, in Međimurje's opinion, was the diversity of vocal boxes and communication methods that existed—it was impossible to use a completely mutually intelligible vocal range. To get around that, UIPL only required a species be able to make twenty distinct phonemes and understand a basic vocabulary set. If the phonemes were difficult to reach vocally, then other signals such as claps, waves, or nods could be substituted in their place. Each species had their own, species-specific, variation of UIPL, and if the sounds of one species didn't translate to the hearing range of another, transposers could be used modify the pitch into something each could understand.

Unless, of course, one happened to be one of the most prolific recorders of UIPL variations in one’s star system, as Međimurje was, and did not need to transpose at all. Na, as a bynizaa, was able to produce and receive a truly absurd range of sounds, meaning na didn’t need to rely on translation devices to communicate. In addition, bynizaas had complex native languages anyway, so UIPL was simple to learn in comparison. Na had memorized over a hundred and twelve variations so far, and hoped to add one more to nu repertoire after this trip.

Na was scanning through a few more pages of the mission directive when ping on nu communicator let nu know the ship had docked the space station.

Na went to the airlock to wait for docking procedures to be finished, then for them to be double and triple checked. Međimurje winced as the door hissed open and na was assaulted by the grating cacophony of buzzing lights and utilities that was a constant on the ships of less noise-sensitive species. When na had adjusted enough to focus, na stepped out into a crowd of curious, thin, bipedal creatures. They had craggy faces that were fuzzy at the top, and adorned their entire bodies with fabric. Some skirted closer to nu, others huddled by the wall, squinting in nu direction.

“Hello,” na greeted in the most recognized base variant of UIPL, one that used rapid clicks to conjugate. The word na used was picked very intentionally; its subtext was polite, friendly, and open to correction. Hopefully the humans would take it as such.

“I am Međimurje, bynizaa, na/nu, and a xenolinguist. I believe you were informed I was coming?”

The humans chattered among themselves as they heard nu voice for the first time. Međimurje startled when one shoved the other and, only having two legs, it unbalanced and knocked others down. Na braced nuzelf for chaos when a few let out shrieks as they fell, but they paid nu no mind. Na relaxed slightly and glanced at nu recorder to make sure it was picking up their sounds. Their volume modulated without clear rhythm; also surprising was the physicality of their interactions. Na made a mental note to consider the possibility of them using tactile language modifiers.

Finally, one with mahogany skin and dressed in icy blue fabric stepped forward and spoke slowly.

“Hello, we greet in peace,” the tone was flat, with no conjugation and a very odd word choice. Međimurje marked the inclusive "we" that indicated Međimurje nuzelf was included in the group, which was rudely presumptive of nu internal state, if it had been used intentionally. Nu skin rippled reflexively, but none of the humans reacted. Na was glad of their ignorance of nu body language.

The being continued, “I am Charlie, human, and, wait–” they turned and grumbled to the humans behind themself; multiple got out their handheld translators and flipped through a primitive dictionary function. After a few moments, Charlie faced Međimurje again and said more confidently, “Charlie, human, and they/them. This way,” They bared their teeth at nu and then stomped away. Međimurje was left for a second before na realized na was meant to follow. Na felt the stares of the rest of the crowd on the back of nu neck and shivered again.

As they walked, Međimurje thought on what na learned so far. The humans seemed gregarious, and with only Charlie addressing nu, there was a strong likelihood of social hierarchy. However, Charlie didn't end their introduction with a title or explanation of their role, so Međimurje was unsure of how to refer to them in reference to others or nuzelf.

The humans were also smaller than na expected from the rumors na had heard of violence, but the physicality of the species was still evident. Even as na watched, Charlie grasped hands with several humans they came across and pulled them forward in order to slap their backs and exchange a few words.

After a while, Charlie turned out of the main hall and entered a room with a low rectangular table. Charlie walked around to sit at the far end, but, unsure of the cultural norms, Međimurje hesitated in the doorway. Charlie glanced at the table, surrounded by chairs. They got up to pull a few away from the long side, and went back to their seat.

“You sit, thank you,” Charlie gestured to the cleared area. Bemused, Međimurje lowered nuzelf to the floor by the table. Charlie nodded, satisfied. They stared at each other.

“Well then,” Međimurje attempted to mimic how Charlie spoke in simple present tense, but added a lilting rhythm to convey tone, “I am here on behalf of the UIPL Regulatory Board. I take down phonemes your settlement uses for UIPL and start an official dictionary, along with any unique grammar and deviations that your species uses to make UIPL easier for yourselves. The board tells you this beforehand, but I want to ensure your willing participation. Is this acceptable to you?”

“Um,” Charlie frowned as na spoke and Međimurje excitedly marked down the sound as a species-specific filler, “I do not understand.”

Međimurje hummed and rephrased, flattening the tonality of nu speech to a simple, slow rhythm: “I speak UIPL and you speak UIPL, but we speak in different ways. I am sent to learn how you speak. I write it down so more beings can learn how you speak UIPL and speak to you, too. Ok?”

“Ah! Yes, comprehension,” Charlie nodded vigorously and Međimurje settled nuzelf more comfortably. Na caught nuzelf buzzing sub-sonically as nu brain raced to design experiments to figure out how the cultural and linguistic elements of human speech affected their abilities in UIPL.

Was the lack of conjugation unique to this population? Would they be capable of parsing other species versions of UIPL without translators or transposers? And Međimurje just knew nu colleagues would be aching to figure out how all the physical elements na had seen played into human understanding of communication as a whole.

This was going to be a long session, but a very interesting one.

He drinks solvent and breaths combustion. Instead of simply dying when his body runs out of nutrients and calorie stores, it has begun to Digest Itself. His body is pumping chemicals they do not understand and every chemistry panel they run shows new levels of new chemicals and hormones. The human body replaces most of its cells constantly because even breathing, especially at a higher atmospheric pressure, is destroying their own lungs.

This thing "hears" things they cannot comprehend and he is unable to describe beyond "color" and "brightness" which are things you can not contextualize, and calls the strangest things beautiful. It has no entirely discernable traits you can understand ecologically as a predator- no armor, no weapons- and yet it eats meat and that is one of the many nutrients it needs to survive. You as a resident of erid do not have many creatures with "eyes" and so have no idea that the strongest mark of a predator is neither claw nor fang, but forward facing eyes, all the better to catch your prey, to meet a foe head on and fearless. You just know it "sees" and that it eats meat, and many other complicated things.

And in place of not receiving all those nutrients, it's body will litterally digest itself and keep going without them. Oh, this new chemical in it's latest blood panel allows it to ignore it's own pain to the point it won't realize it's injured. It can wake up from a dead sleep if you are too loud or too "brightness" around it. It speaks in an archaic graveling noise and is capable of imitating the strangest things, including a haunting near-vocalization of the eridani language of its own, which it calls "singing" and it does this at the strangest of times, when happy and when nervous. It is neither fast nor slow, but over time and observation, you realize this strange towering bipedal creature expends an entirely minimal amount of energy to walk, a process of controlled falling turned mobilization. You hypothesize that for lack of predatory weaponry like claws or sharp teeth, this thing simply evolved to follow you. To "see" you with it's forward facing eyes even in total stillness, total silence, and follow for as long as it takes: it won't spend much energy, and it won't starve waiting for you to exhaust. It'll start digesting *itself* while waiting for it's prey to lay down and have to sleep. It will "watch" you sleep with "eyes." You cannot wake up the way it can, and it will eventually catch up to you.

Also sometimes it cries excess amounts of saline rich solvent when you compliment it's latest research paper. Rocky calls him an idiot and the overseeing eridian scientists watch on with a sense of morbid eldrich horror. Right, right, just a "leaky space blob", sure.