Rhesus macaque

Chat just so you know I am over there at @bhondughoda alive and well.

CHAT NO FUCKING WAY THEY JUST UNBANNED ME GOOD LORD IN HEAVENS ABOVE I AM GONNA SHOOT SOMEBODY. HELLO PEOPLE I AM BACK FROM A DEEP SLUMBER.

We were all ready to leave for another city jab Mom just says "Comfort nhi ban paata isme, Mujhe toh claustrophobic lagta hai". My dad being the guy he is just thinks for a while and says "chalo fir dusri se chalte hai." I just spend 30 minutes fitting everything into the fucking trunk AGAIN- I am now sitting in the back seat While these two rant about some random ass gupta ji.

My father trying to be rude and angry but ye aadmi apni biwi se kuch nhi keh skta. Itna joru ka gulaam aadmi omfg.

My family can't decide shit, It's a circle of "tu bta kya karein", "mummy ka jo man hai" and "meri kaunsi chalti hai ghar me".

Mental health chudi hui thi, Lekin fir thanda aam kha liya sitting in front of cooler.

Where should I go? should I Go left where's nothing right or go right where's there is nothing left?

Trauma doesn't make you stronger. 'whAt DoeSn'T KiLL yoU MaKEs yOU StRongER". I didn't need to be strong i was good. Trauma isn't Creative in nature but is inductive, it only induces what you had in you. Ten spears go to battle and nine shatter. Did the war forge the one that remained? No, All the war did was identify the spear that would not break.

There’s a method called forcing, where rhubarb is grown in complete darkness and tended to only in brief visits, often by candlelight. The plant, denied the sun, begins to reach for it anyway, stretching blindly in the quiet, as if longing alone could make the light return. It grows so quickly in this absence you can sometimes hear it the tiny sounds of strain, the soft push of something becoming. Forcing can weaken the plant, strip it of some resilience, but done with care, it produces something sweeter, more delicate. There’s a kind of tragedy in that how the struggle toward what’s missing can leave behind something softer, something deeply desired i know not everything needs to be an allegory. All the same, I am aware that there are things that have happened in my formative years that I have no words to describe and that only God's eyes have seen.

woah woah i got my thinking cap on. (an actual cap btw)

waqt hai beet jaayega, Zindagi hai guzar jaayegi.

I don't think existence wants you to be serious. I have not seen a serious tree. I have not seen a serious bird. I have not seen a serious sunrise. I have not seen a serious starry night. It seems they are all laughing in their own ways, dancing in their own ways. We may not understand it, but there is a subtle feeling that the whole existence is a celebration.

Just Thought that Being banned doesn't mean i need to stop writing, The only Thing that matters is if you don't stop writing, I shouldn't break that.