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“i’m in the mood to cuddle for 3 days straight”

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healerorkiller

thetrippytrip

I can’t believe they oblitered straight men like that

castlevanian

@tabbran please add lemon man story to this

tabbran

PRESENTING LEMON MAN

themightyglamazon

That was a wild goddamn ride

wereralph

god this was worth the read

thunder

via weheartit

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orwell

ameriqan

i don’t think aliens exist

rnemes-deactivated20130513

then wtf do u call this

bizarrism-deactivated20210929

neaarty

vampireapologist-archive-deacti

idk if I’ve posted about this before but by far the strangest things that’s happened to me in retail was the time someone’s total came out to my birth-year and I said “hey! that’s the year I was born!” and then the next customer’s total came out to like $12.57 and just bc I’m a weirdo I said “hey! that’s the year I was born!” and without missing a fucking beat this like, 70+ year old man said

“Ah! Another like me! We’re few and far between these days, aren’t we?”

And I was like oh man this guy’s sense of humor really aligns with mine! And I laughed and made some other joke about being immortal and thought that was the end of it,

but this man.

He stood by the register for five more minutes. Maybe more. Which let me tell you is an EXCRUTIATING amount of time for something like this to happen.

And he just kept upping the ante!! He starting talking about some REALLY specific details regarding day-to-day life in the 1300s to the point I started getting worried that I’d misled a genuinely immortal being to believe I am also immortal.

He eventually politely left when I got too busy with other customers to awkwardly respond.

Who the fuck was that guy.

vampireapologist-archive-deacti

I think it’s also important to mention this happened at Cracker Barrel.

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