this is a SELECTIVE and MUTUALS ONLY indie rp blog for COOPER HOWARD of amazon prime's FALLOUT tv show. show compliant and headcanon heavy. written by pickle. NOT SPOILER FREE.
A STUDY IN: simple not stupid, war never changes, what you become when your world falls apart, from lawful good to chaotic neutral, the bond between a father and his daughter...
PERSONALS PLEASE DO NOT REBLOG ANY ORIGINAL POSTS OF MINE! i donât mind personals following/engaging, but I would like my posts/takes, etc. kept in the rpc and away from the wider fandom. thank you!
tldr rules below the cut!
read my rules.
writer: 33. lesbian. pst. lazy af. be patient.
content: this is a fallout blog. canon typical violence will be present in text/images.
DON'T: godmod, metagame, be dick. the usual stuff.
selectivity: i am mutuals only.
portrayal: canon compliant(ish) but headcanon heavy.
formatting: i barely do any. i will not follow blogs that use crazy big spaces and shit between words and letters. i can't read that stuff.
interacting: memes are by far the easiest way to interact. throw them at me always!
shipping: chemistry is key. and coop is an asshole. you've been warned. g.houlcy will be all over this blog. if u don't like it, leave. don't bring hate on my ship to me thanks. :) u can dislike/not care for the ship but i'm talking outright hate on it.
reblog karma: i'll remember as best i can to reblog from the source. reblog w/e u want from me if it comes up on the dash.
blocking/hate: anon hate will be blocked. any barb/max hate will be blocked. i block very liberally for a myriad of reasons. it's not personal. love and light. <3
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divorced couple energy ship will always be immaculate to me. we hate each other. we've seen each other naked. I know how you take your morning coffee. I will never make you your morning coffee again. get it yourself. here you go, I gave it to you anyway. you disgust me. I will always be somewhat in love with you. I will be yours forever. you're not mine anymore. you will always be mine. fuck you. let's fuck, for old time's sake. did you steal my cd? no, no. keep it.
half a dozen questions rest on eliana's tongue, but she puts in the extra effort to keep them locked behind her teeth. whatever his deal with this vault girl is, it's not her business. still, she can't help the little bit of worry that nags at her when she thinks of a young woman from a vault traversing freeside alone. at the mention of his dog, she perks a little, brows drawing down at his words. â hey, be nice, â she admonishes. â i haven't seen her. probably good i didn't. i'd have stolen her and skipped town, rather than helping your sorry ass. â
her lips twitch upwards as she glances towards the window in the room. most of the day passed with him unconscious. night is creeping in now. she figures there's a good chance his dog can handle herself, but still ... there's that worry again.
â i can go out and look for her, before it gets too dark, if you'll be alright on your own, â she says. â someone's seen her. there aren't a lot of tame dogs running around. â
        cooper rolls his eyes, letting out a soft groan as she chastises him. about the damn dog. but the corner of mouth curls upward as she continues. hell, even he wouldnât have blamed her if sheâd left his ass to rot and taken off with his dog. though heâs grateful beyond words that she didnât.
        his eyes follow hers again to glance out the window, predicting what she says before she even gets the words out. another do-gooder. so eager to help. with eliana, though, heâs pretty sure itâs way more about helping the dog than helping him. probably only about helping the dog.
        âif you wanna spend your night chasinâ after her, go for it.â he looks down at the rest of his aching body and shrugs. âainât like iâm in much of a position tâ stop you.â which is about as close to a âyes, pleaseâ as sheâor anyone elseâis ever going to get from him. silly as it is, and as pissed as he was when she ran off, heâs rather fond of that dog.
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also not for nothing, but i cannot imagine barb holding coop to some unrealistically high standard of never caring about/finding someone else over the course of literal lifetimes....
idt there's ever a time where coop doesn't feel deeply conflicted in developing feelings before finding barb. this is the exact reason he has avoided getting close to anyone in the wasteland. not like he expected he'd fall in love w/someone or anything but that like. he would care about people if he let himself get close to them.
it's reaaaaaaaal hard trying to get a sense of exactly how he feels/would feel as far as a more strictly show canon coop goes when we still don't know exactly what went on w/him and barb before the bombs dropped and whether the divorce was fake or w/e.
but even if it was fake....200 years is such a long time to imagine that whatever he feels for barb doesn't change. and i don't mean he loves her less. i'm more inclined to think he's placed barb on some ridiculously high pedestal bc he's spent so much time focusing on just finding her. he may think she's alive and that he'll find her and idk what he thinks will happen then (i believe he hasn't thought about that yet bc that's Too Scary, so he just ignores it. his goal is Find Her. he has not thought beyond that....he can't let himself do that) and yeah, she's a real person, but she's also just a dream to him. idt to him she is just a person to him anymore. she's this. ideal. this fantasy. and i imagine that being a Problem.
but whatever the case, i think he 100% wrestles with the idea that if he really loved barb, how could he fall for someone else? (a flawed sense of reasoning bc that's just not how love works despite whatever pseudo-50s culture he grew up in). he simply cannot conceive of all those what-ifs tho so he just. ignores them. laksdfjal.
laughing still bc i told my therapist i don't mind my sil but my mom doesn't like her and bitches about her constantly. and i was like yeah, she's cool w/me, etc. and she was like why does ur mom hate her and i was like 'well bc she's a bitch' (my sil) and she was like??? but you said u don't mind her ?? yeah. i love bitches. next question.
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@radiaking said: âyou know, there is a point where bravery becomes stupidity. and walking into that thing would be very, very stupid.â
       âdon't be so dramatic.â lucy shakes her head, gesturing towards the entrance to the settlement that's conspicuously covered in signs that read: NO GHOULS ALLOWED. she doesn't like it any more than he doesânot the least of which because it seems awfully meanâbut they're running dangerously low on some integral supplies. âit's not like i'm walking into a camp full of raiders. these are just regular people.â she pauses. âas regular as they can be up here, anyway.â
        âregular people? thatâs exactly the fuckinâ problem.â what counts for regular people in the wasteland is nowhere near what sort of regular sheâs used to. itâll take a lot more than a few months in the wasteland and some shooting lessons for him to feel comfortable sending her anywhere alone. besides, common though it is to discriminate against ghouls, settlements with decent people donât tend to bar them entirely. âno.â
her own heartbeat thumps in her head the whole crossing. despite his warnings, it takes most of eliana's self control not to follow right at his heels or reach out and grab onto that tattered duster of his, just to make sure he can't leave her stranded. she has enough hold on her mind, though, to recognize that he's right, and gratitude stamps out some of the anxiety as he more carefully checks the bridge as they cross.
she's still shaking when her boots hit solid ground. she runs her hand over her face, puffing out a sigh. â fuck, â she mutters, casting a glance over her shoulder.
his smoke wafts over to her, and she scrunches her nose, waving it away with a quick flick of her wrist. â we've ... really lost the plot on taking care of our infrastructure, â she says after several long, silent seconds. she glances down at her hands; one of her nails broke back in her panic, and blood trickles off her hand.
she considers apologizing, telling him that she obviously isn't mad at him. he didn't know about her phobia, and it's not like he built the damn bridge or put it in their way, but the words don't come.
â thanks for not letting me become fish food. â
        that first drag of his cigarette feels better than any drug heâs ever hadâand heâs had a lot of drugsâafter that ordeal. he inhales long and slow before exhaling in the same manner, the thick gray smoke spilling out, drifting toward her in the breeze. at the face she makes, he stills, watching, waiting, almost daring her to complain about it.
        when she doesnât, he takes another puff, exhaling away from her the next time. his eyes stay on her though, narrowed in curiosity. well, seems like someoneâs senses have returned to her now that her feet are on solid ground. in fact, she seems almost embarrassed herself or at least aware she overreacted. at least as far as lashing out at him. interesting.
        âmmhmm.â he takes another drag from his cigarette before he flicks it toward the water, watching it hit the surface and be carried away by the current. as he exhales, he fixes his gaze on her once again. âiâm gonna go out on a limb here and guess you donât know how to swim.â heâs not asking. no way she has that strong of a reaction if she can swim. âmind tellinâ me why you didnât think to share that little detail before we started crossinâ the damn thing?â
       âyou would say something like that.â it's pretty much clockwork now that he's bound to find a way to insult her no matter what she's doing. âthe dog's ears are perfectly fine. and so are yours.â surprisingly, she thinks, given that he doesn't have a nose anymore. âif you really wanted complete silence, you should've gone off on your own. that's just the peril of traveling with another person, i'm afraid.âÂ
        the ghoul casts her a sidelong glance, thoroughly unimpressed. heâs damn near certain that if he just ignored her, she might actually stop. and yet, he canât seem to stop pushing. âoh, i can think of at least a few ways to still get complete silence.â the idea of taping her mouth shut does sound so appealing, though heâs not sure he wants his fingers anywhere near her teethâŠ
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@radiaking said: âyouâre welcome to try and kill me, of course. but i donât die easily these days.â
       âi don't want to kill you.â lucy sighs, shaking her head slowly. âi just want to understand why you did it.â realizing that he knew who she was the whole time, that he did all of those things to her anyway, came as a terrible shock. and now she's hurt, and she's angry, which she hates. âi never knew what it was like to have someone look at me with that much...loathing.â she crosses her arms. âi think the least of what you owe me is an explanation.â
        ââcourse you donât,â he mutters under his breath, more to himself than to her. itâd be too easy if she did, if she wanted to get him back, to do to him what heâd done to her. instead she wants answers, ones he doesnât want to give her. ones he doesnât want to answer at all, even to himself.
        it all sounds so stupid to him now, what heâd thought when he first saw her again. he done a lot of stupid shit in his too-long life, but think her capable of the kind of cruelty heâd thought? by far the stupidest. she already must think heâs a monster, does he really need to add âstupidâ on top of it?
        âwhat? savinâ you ainât enough? takinâ you to your brother ainât enough?â of course itâs notânot only does doing those things only make him feel better, theyâre easy for him to do. beyond actual monsters, genetically mutated beasts, heâs one of the most dangerous things in the wasteland with a gun in his hand. keeping her alive is a cake walk compared to what sheâs asking of him.
