What if someone got bitten by a vampire, but didnât realize it. So then they go around and keep misidentifying all the symptoms, like
âDude, you havenât gone outside in a while.â âYeah, last time I went out I got this wicked sunburn.â
âAre you still up?â âYeah, I started bing watching this show on Netflix.â
âDude, Iâm seriously craving something right now.â âLike what?â âI dunno. Pizza rolls?â
âWhy is it that you never come into my house unless I invite you?â âUm, itâs called âbeing politeââŚ?â
âI tried cooking with garlic the other night and got this serious burn on my hand. I think Iâm allergic, but all Iâm getting on Google is vampire bullshit.â
âDude can a mirror like⌠stop working or something?â
âDude, why do you keep posting pictures of the floor?â ââŚThose are meant to be selfies, I guess my camera must be broken.â
âDude, I am all for you expressing your religious beliefs, but could you not wear your crucifix when Iâm around? It really bugs me for some reason.â
âHave you ever noticed how cute bats are? like really noticed? sweet lil balls of fluff with wings man.â
âI want to sleep in a coffinâŚya kno, for like⌠aestheticâ
âWhatâs with your thing about necks lately?â
âMUST YOU KINKSHAME ME IN MY OWN HOMEâ















