voted most likely to make questionable decisions

I love seeing all the gorgeous cover designs people make for fics they love, and I don't know why it never occurred to me to do it before now. Especially since it is part of my actual literal IRL job. I'm gonna try and do a few of these before something else shiny distracts me. So make room, I'm jumping on the bandwagon.

First up, a series that I immediately fell in love with, Private Meetings and Open Doors by @hermacology

*click for higher quality!

Calling it a Hollanov coffee shop/college au feels too broad, because the series is so much more, but that's the tropey elevator pitch.

Two sides of the same story, each with their own voice and tone, both so beautifully written. Private Meetings introduces us to Shane's world, and what we know (or think we know) of Ilya's through him. Open Doors doesn't rehash, but rather bolsters the narrative while offering Ilya's perspective and giving us a fuller understanding of him.

They're character studies that are so layered and nuanced and fit so well together. Also, hot af and sexy and sweet and just so full of love.

Waffle about the design below the cut, if you're interested!

Ilya is drifting, he's a transient character. He doesn't see Boston as his home (he's never felt at ease in America, to paraphrase a book line) and we know how he feels about Russia. He's self-conscious of his language acquisition and his accent pretty deep into the story, even after he's more than proficient. While he supports and funds his family, he doesn't see them as his loved ones, more an obligation. Ilya doesn't ever consider revealing his vulnerabilities to his family because what would be the point? During the Russian monologue in the show, he can barely voice the desire for his father and brother to know him truly. Even his relationship with Svetlana in the show is standoffish, they're not sharing secrets under the covers. They talk about hockey and home and share knowing glances, but there isn't true emotional vulnerability there, except for maybe the scene in Russia, which is one of the first vulnerable moments Ilya has at all.

By contrast, Shane is a grounded character. He's playing hockey for Montreal, his mother's favorite team, and he speaks their language fluently (Hudson doesn't lol, but Shane does!). He's a national hero playing for his own country. He's close with his family, but more than that he sees them as an undeniable part of his life, people he loves and respects. He doesn't want to lie to them, even though he has to. While Ilya flies to Russia in the summer and then back to Boston for the season, Shane has built himself a Cottage close to his family so that he can spend his summers in comfortable familiarity, grounded in his roots. (This creates different pressures for Shane, but this is a meta about Ilya)

Once Shane accepts his sexuality and his feelings for Ilya, he zeroes in on him, target acquired, seeking BOYFRIEND. Ilya, a man who has always accepted and even embraced his sexuality, is the one who's hesitant. He even considers breaking it off with Shane because his worry for him after his injury is too great, too painful. He's used to relationships being transactional, people in his life seek payment from him. Money to his brother, respect to his father, glory to Russia. He gives and gives, yet they view Ilya as eternally indebted to them. They hate him and he hates them back. But with Shane there's a growing attachment.

And Shane is giving. When he invites Ilya to the cottage, he's not asking anything of Ilya, only giving. And I think this rends Ilya down the middle, exposing him, breaking down the walls that not only kept other people at arms length, but kept him safe from hurt and harm. The transience is part of his defense, sort of a "if they can't catch me then they can't hurt me" mentality, but now Shane is asking him to stay. To make plans and build a life and share his home. Remember, Shane is rooted, he's the one with connections that he wants to preserve, not out of obligation, but out of love. He wants Ilya to know his parents. He wants them to exist in the same universe. Shane's powerful desire to integrate Ilya into his life literally plucks Ilya out of thin air, plops him into a family unit, and forces him to content with everything that he's been running from.

Remember, Ilya is so obsessed with Shane's wholesomeness. Ilya wanted to fuck Shane in his real bed. He constantly thinks on how perfect Shane is, how wholesome he is. And his resentment for it grows into infatuation and then love. And once he has it, Ilya wants to stay. He wants to "anchor himself to Shane, and just stay." No wonder being in a relationship triggers Ilya to finally deal with his depression. In order to be in a successful, loving, and committed relationship, you must be vulnerable to a point, and in doing so you yourself have to acknowledge feelings that are easy to ignore when you're alone. Vulnerability with others breeds vulnerability with yourself.

He lands and as soon as his phone reconnects to the network, a voice note from Shane comes through.

“Hey baby, I’ve been watching your flights and I know you missed your connection. There isn’t another flight to Ottawa today, but I booked you a flight to Montreal. It leaves in 90 minutes, so you should have lots of time to make it. I’m going to hop in the car and I’ll pick you up at the Montreal airport. I grabbed us a hotel room so we don’t have to drive back tonight. We’ll be tired, and also I need you inside me like… right fucking now. I’m gonna put a plug in before I hit the road so I’m all ready for you when you land.

Anyway, I sent the flight details to your email so you have everything. I love you so much, baby. I’ll see you soon.” (It’s important to note that this entire message is delivered in a matter of fact, business tone.)

Ilya experiences the Shane-specific range of emotions that his husband is oh-so-good at eliciting in him: gratitude, overwhelming affection, feeling safe and loved, and insane horniness, all before he even gets his bags and gets off the plane.

He subtly adjusts himself and texts Shane as soon as he’s in the terminal.

“Thank you for taking care of the flight. You know how much I respect you, right?”

Shane replies:

“Of course I do, baby. Why?”

Ilya:

“Because when I get you into that hotel room tonight, it’s going to seem like I don’t.”

Shane just sends back a picture of himself, back to the mirror, the merest hint of something silver between his cheeks.

Ilya:

“And they call me a fucking menace. See you soon. I love you.”

Shane:

“Baby, what time is it?”

“Huh? Hold on, baby, I can’t hear you. Fuck, it’s loud in here.”

“Fuck, Ilya, yes, like that, baby, just like that, fuck—“

“Ilya, what’s— Are you crying? What’s wrong, baby, it’s okay, it’s— What’s wrong? Please, tell me, what’s wrong?”

“Fuckin’ A, Rozanov! Yes, baby! Fuck, that was a good one. C’mere.”

“Mm, baby, your feet are cold. Ah! Ilya, get your cold fucking feet off me. Put some socks on. Jesus.”

“Hold on, I’ll ask him— Baby, my mom wants to know if steak is good for dinner?”

“Your hair is so fluffy today. No, no, come back, let me— Yes. Thank you, baby.”

“Ilyusha. My baby. Ilyusha. You’re so pretty. Don’t laugh! I’m being serious!”

“You’re gonna have to skate better than that to beat me in the scoring race, baby, I’m locked in this season.”

“Fuck, baby, you’re burning up. No, asshole, I mean you’re sick. You can’t go to practice like this, don’t be fucking stupid.”

“Uh, just a beer, please. Thank you, baby, that’s perfect.”

“Ilya, baby, you want a pretzel?”

Tagged by @tgmsunmontue & @jakekernerkazansky 💛💛

Have returned to working on an older WIP this week in hopes of getting it finished sometime this month! So have an unedited snippet from Bradley losing his mind over Jake holding a baby:

Fuck, he was still so in love with his ex-husband.

Which really wasn't some profound piece of information he was unaware of. They hadn't divorced because of lack of love. It'd been more because they were stationed at opposite ends of the globe and neither had been in favor of opening up their marriage to help tide them over.

They were both just to possessive over one another to even pretend to be okay with it.

So divorce it was.

Nice, simple and easy.

Only they'd fucked up along the way and had turned bitter and bitchy, in Natasha's words, to be cordial despite promising each other they would.

Bradley has always assumed they'd somehow make their way back to one another until the years went on and they grew colder and meaner as they did. In the dead of night he'd always tortured himself with what-ifs and half-baked dreams of what could have been, of what should have been.

1. Slow down at emotionally important moments.

Big emotions need space to land. If a scene feels rushed, pause the plot briefly to show how the moment affects the character.

2. Add reactions, not explanations.

Instead of explaining what a character feels, show it through physical responses, hesitation, or small actions that reveal emotion naturally.

3. Ground every scene in the senses.

If a scene feels thin, add one or two sensory details—sound, texture, smell, or temperature—to make the moment feel lived-in.

4. Let thoughts interrupt action.

A line of internal thought can deepen a scene without slowing it too much. Thoughts show stakes, fear, longing, or conflict beneath the action.

5. Expand consequences, not events.

You don’t need more things to happen—you need to show what matters. Focus on how events change relationships, decisions, or self-perception.

6. Strengthen setting where emotion peaks.

The environment should echo or contrast the emotion of the scene. Setting is not decoration—it’s emotional reinforcement.

7. Add specific details instead of general ones.

Underwriting often relies on vague language. Swap “they argued” for one sharp line of dialogue or a specific breaking point.

8. Let dialogue breathe.

Short dialogue exchanges without pauses can feel flat. Add beats—silence, gestures, interruptions—to give the conversation weight.

9. Show transitions between scenes.

If scenes jump too quickly, readers feel disoriented. A brief transition helps establish time, mood, and emotional continuity.

10. Clarify stakes early in the scene.

If readers don’t know what can be lost, scenes feel empty. Make sure the character wants something specific and fears losing it.

11. Use the “what are they feeling right now?” check.

After each major beat, ask what emotion is dominant in that moment. If it’s missing on the page, the scene is likely underwritten.

12. Expand scenes that feel “too clean.”

and shane is beautiful. ilya is immediately fascinated by him. he's all beautiful dark eyes and thick black hair and full lips and gorgeous gorgeous freckles. and he's an outsider too. like ilya. wrong because his mother is japanese and his father is anglo-canadian. but shane is immediately suspicious of ilya. yuna is too. david had gotten ilya to talk to him on the drive over and ilya introduces himself to shane and yuna -- bc david assured him they wouldn't reject him for being russian -- and his accent is thick even though his english is perfect. it's been months and months of barely talking. and yuna is shoving her boys into another room and hissing at david "this is just going to make things worse for us in town. hiring a russian boy?" and david is shrugging and saying "shane needs help and i am increasingly useless around here. no one else will work with us because i married you." and yuna is ranting, tutting, shane is standing by the door and peeking through the gap at ilya standing with his hands behind his back in the lounge room and looking at the photos on the mantel with a soft smile. "people already don't trust us. i'm already working so hard on fixing that" yuna is sighing and david is shrugging and saying "i can't just watch someone unable to feed themselves and house themselves and pretend to be mute bc people don't like where he came from" and yuna is grumbling and relenting and saying "fine he can stay but if he does anything weird" and david is nodding, placating "of course, i know. i'm not trying to risk national security" and shane is frowning, turning to his parents "how do we know he isn't a spy or something?" and david is rolling his eyes "yes, russia sent a handsome young man to country canada to find out our secrets re growing flax" and shane is insisting "we sell a lot to the us" and david is shrugging and saying "the boy seems pretty uninterested in his home country. he fled. i don't think he's a spy. but he will be working with you, shane. you can keep an eye on him." and so shane and yuna eventually agree to let ilya stay and help -- because even if there is a slim chance ilya is a spy it's not like they know any important state secrets and maybe they do understand what it's like to be on the outs. but shane takes watching ilya very seriously.

they're fixing fences and machinery and dealing with pests and harvesting and shane is watching ilya. careful of what he says around him. approaching him with caution. ilya is flirting and teasing and shane is even more suspect that ilya is a spy trying to seduce secrets out of him. but the thing is that ilya makes him laugh and spending time with him is easy and the days feel lighter beside him and the frustration from his incessant ribbing also makes something hot twist in his stomach and something warm bloom in his chest. and he's teaching ilya how to ride a horse and how to swim because ilya was a city boy his whole life. even though he's good and strong and talented with his hands he has never camped or built a fire or swam in a lake or ridden a horse. so shane is showing him all these things and ilya is all big grins and bright eyes as shane holds the reins of the horse and gently guides ilya around and shows ilya how to swim in the shallows of the lake. and they're driving into town together to pick up shit for the farm and ilya is seeing how shane is treated like an outsider. like an enemy. for being half japanese. and ilya is still pretending to be mute in town but he is getting fiercely protective and stepping between shane and locals that call shane racist slurs and shane is gently pushing ilya back and handling things diplomatically and then in the truck ilya is growling about idiots and fools and demanding why shane puts up with it and doesnt defend himself and shane is asking ilya why he pretends to be mute and then ilya has no response and they just drive in silence. simmering in their frustrations.

in this au its important that they both still like hockey but due to circumstances neither get to play it. so in the winter when the lake freezes over they are ice skating and playing each other one-on-one from early in the morning til late at night. they can be heard chirping each other and laughing and bickering all the way across the field and to the deck where david is rocking on his chair and smugly telling yuna he knew he was right about ilya. it's been months and ilya has been nothing but loyal and hard working. yuna even admits she likes him -- he helps in the kitchen and holds her yarn and unspools it for her when she knits and asks her to teach him how to manage his wage responsibly because she handles all the farm's finances and he is still not used to having a wage. she is suspicious at first but he doesn't care to see the farm's finances. he just wants help saving for things like a good pair of boots. so yuna likes him too and admits to david that ilya was a good choice and that she's glad he's there for their farm and their family and especially for shane. bc shane seems so much happier around him.

anyway, we have kinda a similar begining to their sex life as the show/books. kind of. they have been friends -- with a lot of heavy flirting and bickering and chirping -- for a while now. and shane is stupidly attracted to ilya -- just repressing it super hard, maybe more than even in canon given you know the 50s. ilya is lightheaded everytime he sees shane chopping wood or peeling off his shirt in the heat of the midday sun. there is attraction there, palpable between them. but unspoken and untouched for a while. until shane is barging into ilya's room, above the barn, one night because he's pissed about something -- maybe seeing ilya fucking their neighbour in a haystack -- and he's intending on lecturing ilya about professionalism and work ethic and whatever. (really he is just hot with jealousy and itching itching itching to touch). and he's storming into the room and ilya is in his tub. tiny little tub that he bathes in totally nude, pouring water over his shoulders and back and shane is frozen watching water trickle down the muscles in ilya's back and over the curve of his ass and he's not saying anything at all. mouth stuck open and gaping. ilya is turning to him and raising a brow and then looking pointedly at the tent in shane's pants and shane is spinning around and saying "fuck off" but he's not leaving and then ilya is stepping out of the tub all wet and dripping over the floorboards, pressing himself into shane's back. soaking through the material of shane's shirt as he presses his chest into shane's spine. and shane is shivering, squirming, but not pulling away. head dropping back onto ilya's shoulder as ilya presses his palm to shane's erection and mumbles "like what you see, hollander?" and shane is biting his lip to keep from moaning as ilya pushes his hand into shane's pants. shane can feel ilya is hard against his back, pressing into the curve of his spine above his ass. and then shane is spinning and dropping to his knees and so begins their hookups. the first time they have anal sex is in the barn, in ilya's creaky bed, and it's a few weeks later and just as tender and careful and sweet as it was in the show. ilya checking in. shane melting.

so they hookup now. after their work is done for the day. after they've washed up and said goodnight at the house. shane is sneaking down the field to ilya's room and crawling on top of him and they're fucking by candlelight and falling in love despite neither one of them admitting it. they were probably falling in love the whole time. just without the sex it was easier to deny it. but then shane freaks. freaks after spending the night by accident with ilya in the barn instead of sneaking back to his room. freaks when he wakes up and sees ilya all sleep rumpled and adorable and listens to him snoring and is overcome with burning, desperate affection. bc this can't work. they're men. they're men in rural canada. one of them is russian and the other is half-japanese and they're already on the outs with half the community so fuck fuck fuck. this needs to stop. and he's stumbling out of bed and ilya is waking up groggy and grabby, asking shane where he's going and shane is bolting out of there and back into the house and pretending everything is fine fine fine. his dad is awake when he gets back into the house and asking what's up and shane is shaking his head, saying everything is fine. not to worry. david knows. he hasn't told shane. but he knows. at first he was a little concerned, and shocked. but he has known for a while. noticed the way shane smiles shyly when ilya teases him. noticed the way shane stares at ilya whenever they are in a room together. he always knew his son was different. in more ways than one. this way is just something else. and he knew gay guys in the military and -- heck he may have been in love during his time in the military but he had a son and wife back home and never acted on it but it was a real feeling. he knew it was.

shane is dating rose in this au too. she is an aspiring actress -- the daughter of the dressmaker in town. she is sweet and beautiful and entirely appropriate. she has also been shane's friend since they were children. shane tries to make himself fall in love with her. she is a sensible choice. she doesn't realise he is trying to woo her. she thinks her friend is just reconnecting. she turns him down, gently, kindly, when he tries to kiss her. tells him she doesn't think that she's what he wants. that she knows he's different. ilya, of course, knows none of this. all he knows is shane is avoiding him apart from work and not talking to him and suddenly going around town with rose landry and has stopped fucking him. he's going into town to some bar and seeing rose and shane dancing -- shane is very bad -- to some local band and ilya is seething, squirming with hurt. finding some woman and seducing her in the corner of the bar. making out with her in a booth. it's surprisingly easy for ilya to get women even as he pretends to be mute. most women like the promise that he won't say anything if they sleep with him. that he won't spill all their secrets. and a lot remember him a couple years ago when he was in town exchanging his body for a bed during winter. shane sees ilya with the woman in the club and is leaving, dropping rose home and then sitting on ilya's bed back at the farm waiting for ilya to come back. angry and hurt and stupid. ilya comes back alone and angry and hurt and also stupid. asking what the fuck shane wants and yelling about shane ignoring him and shutting him out and shane is saying he isn't with rose and that he likes ilya but he's scared and doesn't know what that means for them. and ilya is afraid because all he wanted was shane to want him back but there's still the ever present threat of deportation and discovery and all the lying and hiding is exhausting with the cold war continuing and ilya pretending to be a mute and the whole they're both men in rural 1950s canada. but then they're fucking -- no it's more soft than that -- all tangled fingers and grasping hands and sighing and foreheads touching and breaths mingling. because they want each other even though it's a terrible idea.

in this au it's shane's father who dies. david's knee gets worse and one night he's out and ends up going missing. he's fallen and can't get up, hit his head and died on the dark road between town and the farm. they don't find him til morning and he's already gone. shane is wrecked with guilt and shame and fear. afraid of what will happen to his father's farm full of misfits and outsiders. afraid now that he is responsible for everything. but ofc willing to take it all on. immediately locking in and becoming 'the man of the house' and barely taking the time to grieve. ilya is grieving too. he became close to david over the last 18 months and he has already lost his mother -- his father and brother too he will never see again because he will never go back to russia -- and he is shocked by shane's refusal to mourn or address his father's death. shane is just straight to business. holding the farm and his little family together. and shane is worried worried worried about disappointing his father and ending the hollander line bc he is in love with their farmhand -- with ilya -- and he doesn't want a wife but someone needs to take over the farm when he passes and who would he give everything to. little does he know that yuna and david had a chat before david passed. about shane and ilya. yuna had observed it too and brought her concerns to david and david had told her about the man he'd fallen in love with whilst he'd been in service and that nothing had happened but he knew it was natural and normal and good to love and yuna takes a while but she sees it.

she sees it in the way her son cares for ilya when he gets injured -- overexerting himself post david's passing to make up for his own perceived failures, slicing his hand open on a barbed wire trying to fix a fence himself then coming down with a fever and ending up in bed rest as the infection in his hand worsens. and shane is beside himself with worry. all his angst about his father spilling out. worry pouring from every part of him as he tends to ilya and refuses to let ilya be alone for even a moment. constantly wiping his sweaty forehead with a cool cloth and checking his pulse. ilya heals up okay, after a week of bed rest. left with a gnarly scar on his palm. but he's okay and she sees how relieved her son is when ilya is back to his usualy charming, teasing self. sees the blatant and almost blinding affection in her son's smile when ilya manages to get out of bed and eat sat up without help at the dining table. so she gets it and she promised her late husband she would support ilya and shane and try to get it. she gets it now she tells him. its love like any other. she gets it. she gets it.

shane takes on more responsibility as ilya heals. still not able to help with chores around the farm as his hand is healing. told by the doctor to stay away from dirt and sharp objects for another month until the wound is healed up. so shane is working himself extra hard. compensating for his father's loss. for ilya's injury. unwilling to hire more help. unwilling to upset the fragile peace his family is trying to find in their grief. and he's still sleeping with ilya. except ilya is sleeping in the house now. and shane is kissing him on the forehead goodnight and good morning and slipping out at the break of dawn to deal with all the shit on the farm. and he's not letting ilya do any of the work when they do fuck. sitting in ilya's lap and moving slow and dirty and intentional in the quiet of the night -- making sure ilya is keeping his bandaged hand elevated and not touching shane.

then shane is going missing like his fucking father. ilya is waking up in the morning to yuna panicking. saying she couldn't see shane in the field. that he hadn't come up from the edge of the property like normal to kiss her cheek good morning and drink tea with her on the veranda. and ilya feels sick. the truck is still outside the property but shane's horse is gone so ilya and yuna are piling into the truck and he's insisting on driving but she's smacking his head and telling him that he still can't use his hand and he's relenting. letting yuna take control of the steering wheel. they knew shane was dealing with a broken fence in the northwest of the property, furthest from the house. so they head there first. no sign of shane. eventually they find his horse looking spooked and all alone anxiously pacing the back paddock and then they find shane. knocked out but alive. thankfully alive. yuna is hysterical bc her fucking husband had just died getting knocked out alone in the dark and now her son has a gash on his forehead and is unconscious. they bring shane home and ilya goes into town to get the doctor and bringing him back to the house and he's telling them that shane is going to be okay. probably just concussed and they need to monitor him for confusion and dizziness and puking etc. so yuna and ilya spend the whole night by shane's bedside. waiting for him to wake up or puke or something. anything.

in the morning ilya hadn't even realised he'd fallen asleep, forehead tucked onto the pillow beside shane's head, but he wakes up when he hears a groan and feels shane shuffling on the bed. yuna is immediately beside him, sitting on the edge of the mattress and gently prodding shane's head asking what happened. shane has a rotten headache and is deathly tired but otherwise seems okay. not confused or vomitting. just a little nauseous. he tells them that there was a snake on the path and poor puck -- his horse -- got scared and accidentally bucked him off. he asked if she was okay and they confirmed puck was fine just a little startled and then shane was nodding and smiling dopey at ilya and murmuring "ilyaaaaa, you're here" and ilya is like "yes, shane, where else would i be" and shane is smiling, flailing his hand out, reaching for ilya. and ilya is grabbing his hand and holding him tight and shane is humming "yes, better" and ilya is glancing at yuna who is staring at their intertwined fingers with pursed lips but not saying anything and shane is then saying "i had a dream about dad" and yuna and ilya are both turning their attention to shane's face. his eyes are all teary and his chin is quivering "he told me he was sorry for leaving us. he told me to tell you he loves you mum. and he told me to tell ilya that he's happy you're part of our family and to take good care of me and mum" and ilya is nodding, promising "of course i will take care of you" and shane is humming "but he also said i have to take care of you too and i will. you'll be safe here forever with me. please stay forever" and ilya is swallowing and murmuring back "i wasn't planning on going anywhere" and shane is smiling, serenely, shutting his eyes and going back to sleep.

shane heals and ilya heals and yuna is helping for a bit with the chores outside the house until her boys are back at full capacity and no one is addressing the basic love decleration/proposal kinda that shane gave whilst concused and half asleep. they just go on in harmony. ilya has moved fully into the house. in a seperate room from shane bc they are still keeping up the front that they are not sleeping side by side every night and that yuna has no idea what's going on between her son and the farmhand -- who feels more and more like her second son every day.

i don't know how but eventually someone in town knows ilya is russian and since they don't have david -- and his white masculinity -- to protect them anymore there are overt threats being made to the farm and their livelihood. someone in town burns an entire field of flax to ash and shane loads a shotgun and almost storms into town before ilya stops him. tells him its okay. he can leave. if his presence is causing distress to the family, to their livelihoods, then he can leave. and shane is gritting out between clenched teeth "over my fucking dead body are you leaving" and ilya is saying "its okay i can go" and shane is pissed bc he is so so so in love with ilya and even if ilya hasn't said it yet he was pretty sure ilya was in love with him too so his heart is breaking. and he's breathing out "do you want to go?" and ilya is shaking his head no. "i don't ever want to ever go away" and shane is nodding saying "then we'll work it out. we will find a way."

anyway, something something idk they figure it out and manage to get the motherfuckers to leave them alone. after shane threatens the fuck out of them and then yuna too. she is probably scarier than shane. bc she is not letting her family break further apart. they already lost david. but things aren't easy. they're more isolated form the townsfolk than ever. more on the outs. but shane is refusing to back down or let ilya walk away from them and he's telling ilya that he has a plan. for their future. for their livelihood. and ilya is struck by how in love he is and crawling onto shane and murmuring 'ya tebya lyublu' over and over before finally saying 'i love you' and shane is whispering 'holy shit' and ilya is swallowing and ready to take it back before shane is sighing 'i love you so much oh my god' and then they're just intertwined on the bed in shane's room, crying quietly between the press of their cheeks.

and the next day they are telling yuna the truth about them and shane is pleading with her to understand but she already does. she loves her son. she loves ilya like a son. and she knows they love each other. and she's clasping shane's hands in hers and telling him "your dad knew. and he was so proud. he loved you so muchand he wanted you to be happy. he knew that happiness was with ilya." and shane and ilya are so relieved and finally move to the same bedroom and as far as anyone who knows them -- like rose and hayden and harris whose family owns the apple orchard -- is concerned they are married. an open secret in the community.