Rabbit na Girlfriend

   "Tinutulak mo ang mga taong may malasakit sa'yo, Bakit ba?“

You don’t have to wait three or more hours for a response for a simple text every time you send one 

They aren’t embarrassed or put out by introducing you to their friends/including you sometimes in their outings. 

They are willing to give, or at least share, the last slice of pizza. 

You are not afraid to be yourself around them — your strange humor, your occasionally awkward mannerisms, your interests in things that other people might consider a waste of time.

Even if what you like might not be their favorite thing, they are always willing to give things a try if they are important to you.

They don’t fill your Facebook wall with inappropriate “OMG baby it’s been almost a week! Miss u so much!”-esque posts, because no one deserves to have to look at that.

They respect not only you, but the people you love in your life — if they are super sweet to you but constantly ragging on your parents/friends, you need to cut them loose.

You are both able to communicate honestly with each other about your feelings and needs in the relationship without feeling like it’s going to turn into a horrible fight.

They are a firm, enthusiastic believer in cunnilingus.

You never feel as though they are slumming it or doing a favor by being with you.

They surprise you — and not just with random gifts of flowers or chocolate. They are evolving into a better person from being with you (just as you are with them).

You don’t have to have some extravagant night in an expensive restaurant in order to both enjoy the evening and feel appreciated.

 There is never a question as to how they actually feel about you.

Sex isn’t used as a placeholder for other emotions that might not be there, or not be there in high enough quantities.

They are just as capable of having a ridiculous night in, eating junk food and watching crappy TV, as they are of shining up and attending an important event

Your mom likes them.

You are capable of both doing your own thing from time to time without the other becoming irrationally jealous, suspicious, or angry.

There is never any doubt that they are thinking of you, that they consider your feelings, and that you are important to their life.

You both have generally similar visions of the future, and what you want out of life. (You don’t want there to come a moment where things can go no further because, say, one absolutely wants children and the other absolutely doesn’t.)

If you suffer a moment of weakness or need help with something, they are eager to support you and not shame you for being incapable of handling it on your own.

If they’re straight, they don’t say f*g, and if they’re white, they don’t say the n-word. (Any keeper needs basic home training.)

They don’t make fun of your taste in music/pop culture/entertainment. (Well, a little teasing is fine, but they shouldn’t be seriously judging you over it.)

They encourage and support you in pursuing your dreams in life.

You feel welcome and comfortable around their family — even if no future in-laws are perfect.

There aren’t any secrets between the two of you, or things about yourselves which you feel you need to seriously hide from one another.

They are proud of you.

 There is no pressure for either of you to adhere to strict, completely outdated gender roles — or a feeling that, if you don’t, the other isn’t attracted to you anymore.

Your friends enjoy being around them, and generally think that they are a cool person who is good for you.

They make you laugh, laugh so hard you can’t breathe, laugh so much that you don’t care if you’re doing your “ugly, weird, cackly/snorty laugh.” (And they love your laugh.)

You are capable of having thoughtful, intelligent discussions about subjects that — even if you don’t necessarily agree on the topic at hand — teach both of you something and remain respectful.

You feel fully comfortable around them in bright afternoon light.

She was catapulted in your life like a storm surge. Sudden, dauntless and aggressive. You didn’t know she arrived until you were drowning in her aura, making it impossible for you to stop her when she went filling your insides with desire. In the midst of twirling melodies, she was a still silence. All it took was one mystifying look for you to fall down on your knees and beg for just a drop of her glory.

She was enclosed inside a metal facade. And for the longest time, you stood outside it as you looked for possible faults, any point of vulnerability for you to penetrate just to know what goes behind her sly smiles. She didn’t know that even when she acted so guarded, she was dropping little pieces of herself like shiny pebbles that led you to where she hid her heart a long time ago.

It didn’t take long before you turned the world around. Suddenly, you were the name that inhibited her drunken mouth, the nicotine fix that her throat was longing for, the shot of espresso that made her palpitations worse,  the numbers and codes that she loved filling her mind with and the words that built doors which led to a place where her painful realities didn’t exist.

You held her like a dream, a summit that you finally reached, a land that you have conquered, someone that you could call yours. You collected all the gentleness in the world and offered it on her hands, making her a goner over your rainbow-colored affection. She held on to your promises like a little girl tugging on the hem of her mother’s shirt, too terrified to get lost. She thought that this was it, this was where her story finally made sense.

But little by little, you felt how it seemed like she couldn’t breathe whenever you were not around. How she told you she missed you when you were just five meters away. How she put up a lock around your hands just so you won’t let go of her. A love that was once so freeing started to suffocate you. Every time your skin was mingling with hers, you didn’t feel the sensation that you used to crave. Instead you were struggling for a dose of antidote for a poison that was her presence.

You plotted your way out in quiet evenings when she was deeply asleep and contented that you would still be there when the morning comes. Your touches have become ice cold. Your words sounded like old records. Your stares refrained from assuring her that you were still hers. She knew it but she still wore her blindness like her favorite coat.

She woke up without your shadows hanging on her wall. She tried to detect you, to deny your absence by waiting for you but you knew better. From afar, you watched her lose herself as a single idea contained her mind: you were gone. Your guilt was swallowing you but you couldn’t bring yourself back for a decent goodbye. You knew that there wasn’t a kind of apology that would compensate for the ruins that she has become.