By the time I was 12, I was confused most of the time.
I wanted to be a girl, just didn't know how.
I was very girly, but that wasn't enough.
I was attracted to boys, but mostly men.
I could feel that, I drew their attention...
Whenever, I was alone, or with mom, shopping, men looked at me funny I thought, and smirkedā¦
I did get many propositions on the streetā¦ but I was always too afraid. So I became a loner in school and home.
I didn't play sports, and home I do my homework, then just watched TV.
So mom enrolled me in a Boys & Girls club, to get me out of the house.
From the start, I liked it. I would go every day, it was about 6 blocks from my house. There were only 2 girls, the rest boys from 8 to 15 y think.
Some of the streets were not to safe, so mom would only let me stay till 5 or 6 pm.
There was one counselor for the group. His name was Rudy.
He was attractive, tall large and chubby.
His voice very commanding. About 40, I guess.
From the first day there, I could feel how Rudy would look at me...
By the second week, he find excuses to talk to me.
I felt excited by this for some reason.
One night, Rudy ask me to stay late, and help him with some of the younger kids.
I had heard rumors that he liked boys, that only got me more interested...
I told him- If you get my mom to say it's ok, I'll help you.
He was a charmer..., he got mom's permission, but only if he walked me home.
From that day forward, I started to spend more time in the club with him.
The club's director, would leave about 5 every evening.
Rudy was the only adult till closing, sometimes we be alone for more than an hour.
I help with some of the programs and because I spoke Spanish, he gave more special chores.
When he walk me home, and were alone, he would always treat me differently. Always paying extra attention to me.
The very first time he walked me, he said I had great eyes and lips.
I guess he was testing meā¦ I only blushed and said thank you!
He started to buy me things, candy cd'sā¦.Ā Ā He made me feel very special and important. Something mom never did.
I started to spend more time with him, than with other boys my age.
Once in gym class, he walked in and just stared at meā¦
Later, he said, -you have great legs, as he touched my shoulder.
I was very aware, that I was attracted to older men. But knowing, that I attracted them, was a big high for me.
Almost all older I meet, and especially the ones who propositioned meā¦ I fantasize aboutā¦ pleasuring myself, role playingā¦
Created a world of me as a girl, always wanting to pleaseā¦ and be accepted. I started dressing in moms clothesā¦ then just roll playingā¦
I began feeling and think more and more like a girl.
Flirting came very natural to me. So from that day on, I find the shortest shorts to wear. I saw he was very pleased by this. By this age a was tall and had long legsā¦ still do.
One day walking me home, he asked if I wanted to go to the movies with him. I said, -Rudy, I don't think mom would let me.
-We don't have to tell her, It could be our little secret, he saidā¦ Timidly I said, -ok, but I have to be home at my usual time. The best day is on a Friday, she works till late.
As Friday got closer, I became very anxious.
Finally, it arrived. I borrowed mom white lacey panties, something I often did. Wanted to feel sexy.
At the club, he didn't speak to me, he waited until the director went home.
-WeĀ“ll leave as soon as I can close the club, he said.
I went to my locker, and took my gym bag out, went to the bathroom to change, I didn't want anyone to see what I was wearing under need. I change my shorts to a smaller and much tighter ones, and a small T-top
I came out he immediately notice I changed clothsā¦
As he smiled, we exited and walked to nearby subwayā¦ didn't speak at all.
We went to an old movie house downtownā¦ he wanted to see an old movie that was playing there.
We went upstairs where It was very dark.
We sat, and asked if I wanted anything to eat?
I said, maybe just popcorn extra butter and smiled at him.
He came back, popcorn and a bag of M&Ms.
As soon as he sat, the light went out, and put his left arm around my chair.
With his free hand placed the popcorn on my lap, IĀ had cross my legs.
-do you want any, I said.
and with his free hand started to feed me popcorn I had on my lap.
I crossed my legs toward him and leaned into him lightly.
I had rolled played something like this many timesā¦ I was living my dream...
Half way thru the bag of popcorn, he started to slowly play with popcorn around my mouth. Wanting me to take it from him,
This made me very horny. Time after time, I took the popcorn from his finger.
He kept playing with the corn, teasing me. I tried taking it with my hands. He wouldn't let me use my hands. He would just say,
-NO, you can only use your mouth, with a large smile.
So, I bit him hard, he jumped with pain.
I released his finger, and I open my mouth, took his hand, and kissed his hurt thumb.
He eyes widenā¦ he then started running his thumb along my lips, then put his thumb in my mouth.
I grabbed his hand and pulled his thumb out. He put it back in.
Again, I stopped himā¦ again he put it in.
Finally, I held his hand, with my eyes close, while he violated my mouth with his thumb. I was so horny, I began to sucked it.
As he was a big man. His breathing, became heavy.
I pulled his finger out again, and said -please Rudy stop, he did...
From my mouth, his hand started caressing my face. I just close my eyes. I was sure he was going to kiss me, he didn't.Ā
He stopped, moved his arm from behind me, and started to feel my legs, forcing his hand between my legs... I was afraid he would discover how turn-on I was. Although I'm sure he knew.
He put his hand way up my inner thigh..., but never touch me.
I pulled his hand out, and place it on my lap... I left my hand on top of his, he smiled. After a few minutes, he put his arm around me again, then got real close and ask me, -are you ok E?. I said, -yes I am.
He whispered, -I really like you E.
I turn my face towards him and smiledā¦ His free left hand, went to my chin, and gave me a kiss on the cheek. Again I was disappointedā¦Ā
-Rudy it's getting late, take me home please, I said.
The movie was half way thru. We walked out.Ā Ā On trip back we didn't speak. I wanted to hold hands, but didn't dare...
As he walked me home, he asked?
-what do you do when you get home?
-I shower and put on a T shirt. He interrupted me, with a wicked smile- -nothing under need?
-Can I call you later tonight?. Sure, I said.
He had called once or twice before about different chores to be done. Mom was either sleeping or in her room on the TV. So there would be no problem.
I was excited and very tense, I almost waited by the phone.
We only had one phone in the house, and it was in the kitchenā¦
I sat there wondering what he would say. My mind playing tricks on me, insecurities crept in... If I only done this or if I had been more receptive to his advancesā¦ Finally he called,
-E, I really like being with you, and enjoy your company very muchā¦ How do you feel about me?
-Rudy, I enjoy being with you, and love the way you make me feel.-
-How do I make you feel E?. -Very special, I said.
-I'm very glad, because I want you to be my special friend!!!
My jaw dropped!!! I couldn't speakā¦ and I was very turn-on...
I didn't know how to react or what to say, so I only said, -yes!
Not knowing for sure what that meant!!Ā
-Goodnight E, I'll be dreaming of you tonight.
My heart was pounding I was very aroused.
I had dreamt of being someone's GF, Lewis was one thing but this was very different. Rudy was a man, a big man., I was a little scare, but too aroused to stop.
That night he filled my dreams!
When I saw him next, in the club, I didn't know how to react.
So I tried to be cool as before. Only now I was aroused all the time.
Two nights later, I had to stay late with him.
We were in the crafts room. As soon as we were alone, he whispered, -you look great E.
I was wearing a T-shirt and shortsā¦ very small tight white briefs.
I felt how he was looking at meā¦ I look and then just put my eyes downā¦ blushing all the time.
Finally there was no one left in the club. I started to feel very anxious.
He said,Ā Ā -we're done here, I was relieved,Ā we picked up the material on the table, and started to go upstairsā¦
I was walking ahead of him, he pulled me from the waistā¦ as I turn around I smiled. He had fire in his eyes.
He was on step down, so I could see him almost face to face. His hands went to my face and then just kissed me. I froze in his arms.
Then I relax, and started to kiss him back, putting my arms around him
We kissed for a long time. He smiled and said, -where did you learned how kiss like that? - I said playfully -I'llĀ Ā never tell-.
He took my arm, and led me back to the crafts room.
The lights were off, he didn't turn them on, but left the door openā¦
Light, came thru, but it was still dark inside.
He sat on a craft table, and made me straddle him.
As soon a was sitting on him, he began to deeply kiss me.
I put my arms, first on his chest, then his arms, finally around his neck.
His hands rested low on my waist first, then started to wonder from my thighs to my butt, then up to the small of my backā¦
As he started upwards, under my T. slowly going upā¦ I got goose pimples all overā¦ When his thumbs reached my nipples, and started to play with themā¦ I trusted my body towards him, really feeling his cockā¦ I was melting!!!
He pulled away, than kiss me again, lowered his hands, leaving my nipples, began squeezing my butt.
Than one hand found my clit, felt it for a bit, before entering under my shorts.
I climax violentlyā¦ thrusting my hipsā¦
When I finally opened my eyes, he was all smiles.
He waited for a bit, then began to kiss me very tenderly.
This little encounters were at least twice a week.
After that night, I felt, like his GF when we were aloneā¦ and I really liked the feeling.
At the club, with other people present, he would distance himself from me. Than he would compensate by buying me things.Ā Ā Making me feel very special!
One weekend, there was a sleepover with 7 an 8 year olds.
This was a frequent event.
He ask me to stay with him. Again I said, -if you get mom to agree, I'll be here. Till this day I don't know how mom agreedā¦ if she only knew...
On sleepovers kids would sleep in the gym.
We order pizza and after many activities, we got them sleeping mats.
I started to prepare my bed, when he said -we will sleep in the crafts room.- So I felt very excited...
After lights out, we went into the crafts room.
He had already put two mats together, next to the far corner of the entrance. Bed sheets and all.
The anticipation was driving me mad. He was very cool. I bet he done this many times beforeā¦
I told him I was going to change for bed.
Rudy said, -put on what I bought for you, As he handed me a bag.
-I'll make a round to see how the kids are doing while you change.
Inside was a pink satin lace slip with thin straps and matching panties, and a tiny bottle of lip gloss, also pink.
I looked at the label... VS, I felt shivers running down my spine.
My heart was pounding as I undress.
I been to VS many times with my mom or pretending I was looking for her.
I Dreamt about wearing everything in the store, but never until now, wearing anything from them.
Mom had sexy lingerie, but never from this store, unless it was a gift.
It fit perfectly, he really size me upā¦
I wished I had a mirrorā¦ I felt very sexy but self-conscious also.
The feeling of the satin on my nipples was greatā¦
I went under the sheets and waited for him.
He took his timeā¦ it felt like hours until he return.
Came in and smiledā¦ I was shivering again. As he undressed, I turn around towards the wall. It was to much.
He put the lock on the door and the lights off.
I felt his very large body pressing against me.
He, tilted my head, and began very slowly kissing me from behind. I felt his cock on my butt. He slowly turn me around and put his knee between my legs.
I touch his cock, and he quickly took my hand, and put it on his chest.
I tried againā¦, again he stop me.
We kiss forever..., his hands exploring my bodyĀ Ā me only touching his chest and neckā¦
Then he shifted me, putting me on top of him.
His hands, again all over my body, I felt how he was very turn on now, his breathing very heavy. Slowly, his hands went inside my panties, grabbed and pulled my ass apart. As he put his tongue very deep into my mouth.
I felt his finger playing with tiny hole.
He began biting my lips gently, he had bitten me before, so I said,
-don't bite me hard please.Ā
As I said those words, or any words he would get more and more aroused.
Rudy never took my slip off, but my panties were off, almost immediately.
He pulled my ass apart and put his cock between my ass.
Began thrusting between my cheeks. I said be careful my ass is very tight. This would only get him hornierā¦
-Talk to meā¦- he commandedā¦Ā Ā I didn't really know what to say.
So I just saidā¦ -harder!!!.
I was completelyĀ Ā affected and overwhelmed, I fell asleep on his chest.
When I woke, his hands were on my legs. I kissed him and felt his cock instantly get hard against me.
-Lay down next to me, so I can clean you-. He said.
I lay face down, very obedient.
He got on his knees and started whipping my ass with a towel.
- You have a great ass E, and I want you so much-
Took his time cleaning meā¦ then began to kiss my legs, then my butt. He put his nose deep in my butt touching me.
I felt he started licking meā¦ everywhere around my buttā¦ felt his tongue proving in me.
He put his hands under me waist, to raise my butt closer to his face.
Than started to lick my little holeā¦ what a great feeling.
I buried my face on the sheets. I climaxed..
After a few moments, he began slowly, moving up my back, still kissing me, until his cock was in my ass.
I barely had time to whispered- Please don't fuck me.
It was too late, he took my virginityā¦ all I could do is gasped and moaned as he fucked meā¦ So much pain and pleasure were almost unbearable to me.
As he fucked me, he pulled my face to one side, and kissed me very deep, pulling my hairā¦ I could feel all his very large cock inside me. Gasping and thrusting harder and harder, he climaxā¦
He collapsed on meā¦ I couldn't breathe, he was so heavy.
I could feel him getting softer, inside me.
Finally, turn me around, went down on me.
He began sucking my very erect clit, cupping my butt. I held his head in sheer pleasure. I wanted him never to stop, and climax again.
He swallow all I hadā¦ and continue to suck me till there was nothing left.
Turn me around again, started to bite my ass and legsā¦ I began to sob and cry a bitā¦ He stopped.
Once more like a doll, turned me around and began to kiss me and lick my tears and said- I'm sorry babyā¦ kept on kissing me.
Exhausted he stopped we fell asleepā¦
When I awoke, he was kissing my butt and legs. I had turn during my sleep I guess.
Every muscle in my body hurt, and at the same time pleasure!!
My clit reacted to all the kissingā¦
Once more he turned me and began to kiss me, and said,
-I love your clitā¦ Little girls like you, have only clits, and I love to eat them. He again went down on me, till there was nothing more to give... Again we fell asleep...
Before anybody woke. I changed to my regular clothes, I needed a shower, but there were any hereā¦
Taking pleasure from all I remember from last night.
When I returned the room, the room was in order.
I ask about my clothes from last nightā¦
Rudy said, -in the garbage babe. Every time I'll have you, you will have new thingsā¦ I was relief and sadā¦
I really didn't know where to hide them at home.
After that day, we started meeting at his apartment.
Every week he had a new girl outfit for me, gave me wigs.
He even invited a friend over to showed me how to do makeup.
The meetings kept getting kinkier every timeā¦
He stopped fucking me, and made me chat online, with "friends" of his, dress like a little girl.
As I chat, he would jerked off. Telling me to do certain thingsā¦ interacting with the monitor.
I can say he made me the girl I am today...
More and more of this. He hardly touch me now.Ā
One day I found him at the club with a new younger boyā¦ I was very jealous. I seen Rudy with him before, and I knew what he was up to, he was 11.
He started to pay less attention to me. I quit the club.
I wished he call or look for me, but no.
Before my 13 birthday in July, mom told me we were moving again.
snowghoul
ellievsbear
turnnoffyourmind
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