Hey_Paula

I draw sometimes 💗🍓 follow me @artyarnbycc

So many things. Just so many things happened this year. Had those ups and downs still but the biggest thing for me this year is that I am moving - to start a new chapter, a new life. 5,549.95 miles away from my mom, my friends, and the life that I used to have. Was it the easiest thing to do? Definitely not. It's the scariest thing I had to do in my entire 26 years of existence. But it's to give myself a chance, a new start for my career, for my own happiness. I used to think na, I'll probably be happier this year. Since I actually have my life in order. Atleast for the most part. My love life despite being in an LDR one, is going great. I'd probably rate my current job at the #1 spot out of all the companies and jobs that I worked for the past 6 years. I'm earning more as well. But this year had made me more sad. I felt so alone and out of place all the time. Sometimes even with friends. Parang despite all the good things happening to my life I'm still left out on so many things. Like I'll never be able to put my own happiness first. I don't have any kind of social life for the most part of my daily life. I felt like this year has been the loneliest I've been despite all the good things. I miss hanging out with friends but it always seems na sa ganitong age you rarely make time to see or talk to them. I lost friends in the past six years and surprisingly gained new ones kahit na paalis na ako at the end of the year. I'm thankful for the people that had chose to stay beside me kahit na I'm not the best to be with and to those friends that always has the time para kamustahin ako at magreply at makinig sa rants ko. Thank you for keeping me sane and at my feet in those bad years that I had and just thank you for being here still. It's definitely gonna be sad that I'll probably not gonna see them for at least 5 years but I hope we still get in touch from time to time. I still call my moving out a silver lining because it's a chance to turn my sad life around figure out exactly what I want to do and be happy. I am starting over my life but I feel like I am also starting it for myself a redemption arc hopefully. So there, as always I post this as a reminder and because I find it therapeutic to write when I'm lost in thought. And uhm, 74 days to go!

I’m back in tumblr haha can’t believe I’ll be back here on better circumstances? Hopefully not jinx-ing it. Just a quick life update and reminder to thy self even if it is a little corny.  Last time I was here I was still sad and heart broken. Been 2 years since then and I think I found the love of my life. Starting my life over and finally seeing a somewhat clear view of a future I want to live. I am also taking baby steps to learning another language and honestly can’t believe I’ll be this lucky enough to learn and turn things around with work too. I still have my big scorpio ego energy and still working it out. I’m 25 now and learning and still healing from all the trauma that still spirals out sometimes but I am in good spirits! It is the Christmas season anyway. Lastly, I thank God and the universe for giving me the best Christmas Gift Last year - my lovely penguin. Honestly stoked for our future together and holding my thumb that all our plans go smoothly. Mä rakastan sua, my love!