Quotes From An Airdot

Martin: What?

Arthur Shappey: It's just always exciting! That amazing moment when twelve tonnes of metal leaves the earth... and no-one knows why!

Carolyn Knapp-Shappey: Yes, we do.

Arthur: Yeah, but, you know, not really. I mean, we know you need wings, and engines, and a sticky-up bit on the end for some reason, but it's not like we actually know why a plane stays in the air

Carolyn: No. No, Arthur, we really do! We- we do, we do know that!

Arthur: Oh! How then?

Carolyn: Well! Uh, because...uh, will you give me that towel? (Snoopadoop barks) Okay, okay! Good doggy, keep still! Because, there are four forces acting on the plane, and so long as two of them are bigger than the other two, the plane flies.

Carolyn: Arthur, it's a hairdryer, you have to point it steadily. You can't just zap things dry like it's a ray gun!

Carolyn: What? Who are you?

Theresa: I am Her Serene Highness Princess Theresa Gustava Bonaventura of Liechtenstein, Countess of Sponheim and Protector Extraordinary of the Cantons of Nimes! Who are you?

Carolyn (humbly): Call me Carolyn.

Theresa: Are you in charge? What is the meaning of this intolerable delay?

Carolyn: I am so sorry, Your Highness. I am – I’m just interrogating the captain and when I find out, I assure you –

Theresa: The captain? What has it to do with the captain?

Carolyn: Well, he’s the one flying the plane.

Theresa: Of course he is. Round and round in circles.

Carolyn: Exactly! And when I’ve found out why –

Theresa: On my command.

Carolyn: O-on your... Sorry?

Theresa: While we wait and we wait and we wait for you to arrive.

Carolyn: For me? Why?

Theresa: To receive us, of course. We are the King and Princess of Liechtenstein. Do you think we’d simply land in any old airport without reception, without having it swept for assassins?

Carolyn: I do, I-I do apologise. I... assassins?

Theresa: Yes! Now sweep for those assassins, and once you are sure there aren’t any, you may call us back.

Carolyn: I think I can be fairly sure, even now...

Theresa: CALL US BACK!

Carolyn: Yes, yes, Your Highness.

Carolyn: Ladies and gentlemen, we will shortly be landing in St Petersburg. We do hope you enjoyed your visit to Saint-Tropez, and to those of you who managed to find a luxury yacht to your liking, we rejoice at your success. And to those of you who remain tragically un-be-yachted, our hearts go out to you at this difficult time. Oh and because someone asked me earlier – let me assure you that the cabin crew like to think of ourselves as your hosts, and would be insulted to be offered a tip.

[Bing bong]

Martin: Where's your watch?

Arthur: Yes!

Martin: Millener? Why Millener?

Arthur: Because it’s not my name, but it sounds like a name that someone might have.

Martin: And Arthur?

Arthur: That was the clever bit, it’s the last name you’d expect me to use, because it actually is my name!

Martin: And no new game?

Douglas: No new game.

Martin: Promise you won't hide it anywhere near or on Nancy?

Arthur: Wow!

Mr Birling: What do you mean, “Wow”?