starless night

I always thought that life… was about standing your ground, no matter how strong the current was. But going with the flow… isn’t so foolish… As long… as it takes you forward.

The harder I struggle, the deeper I sink. Humans are such futile creatures. If I… could be reborn, I’d want to be a fish. I’d swim around… in a little bowl. It’d be just me… and Ren.

I can’t be the hero in your story, but the name of the heroine in my story… is Nana. The best, the cutest… is you.

Since that day, the reason why I could always stand back up, no matter how many times I got beat down, was… because you… were always watching me.

No matter how many times people hurt each other, the feelings of love they have towards one another aren’t in vain, right? I still cherish the love letter you gave me.

Back then when you kept losing yourself in love… Maybe we felt the same way. I wonder if you were trying to feel complete, too. If that were the case, I can understand how you must have felt. Does the new life you protected at all costs still make you feel complete?

You’re what I always longed to be. I wanted to be you. I’ve lived on believing that. So please, once more, sing.

Back then, I had a dream that I couldn’t abandon. Thanks to that, I was able to obtain so much, yet at the same time, lose something so precious. But I lived life to the fullest, so I have no regrets. Except… There’s one thing that weighs heavy on my heart.

But… Ever since that day you were taken away from me, I couldn’t help but feel the need to defeat them. I wanted you back… and matter what.

I was too small of a person to be able to accept everything about you. I was like one of those cheap glasses. It’s just that I preferred the pain of breaking into pieces, over the loneliness I felt from losing everything. I was just too fragile. It’s not your fault.

I wanted to keep you by my side, even if it meant putting a collar around your neck. I was afraid of myself for thinking that… so I always kept a little distance between us. Even now, I don’t make new friends easily. I’m still… afraid.

Even now, not a day goes by… that I don’t wish you were sitting across the table from me. I call your name in my heart. Over… and over…

I still believe that life is what we make of it. But now, I’m able to recognize that not everyone can be strong all the time. Because of that, I’ve grown much kinder than I used to be.

Facing our mistakes and the wounds they leave… Even if we accept them, they won’t disappear. I’m still calling your name, Nana. No matter how much it hurts… I won’t stop until you answer me.

You probably don’t even realize it, do you? Every move you make… stirs my heart… with the strength of a typhoon.

If we were lovers, I wonder… Would a hug be enough to wash away my loneliness? Or… I wonder… Does everyone have to endure such loneliness?