key smashing is life

Being a millennial is getting buyer’s remorse over a $3.83 pack of oreos.

This is genuinely hilarious but fuckin terrible

have y’all ever had communion bread that was just so….nasty? like i know we have to suffer as christians, but do we really need to have whole wheat bread as the body of christ?

my old church used hawaiian bread. my standards are high

Some old housemates of mine were Syrian Orthodox. At their church different members of the church took turns baking the bread that would be consecrated for the Eucharist. This was all well and good until one woman baked raisin bread. This led to the memorable occasion of a rather flustered priest, who had not seen the bread until that moment, declaring, “This - except for the raisins - is the Body of Christ.”

EXCEPT FOR THE RAISINS omg

Raisins are just dried grapes though, and wine is his blood so really its like a two in one shampoo & conditioner except with jesus

like a two in one shampoo & conditioner except with jesus

honestly the funniest thing about the lord of the rings is how gandalf is literally a minor god sent to middle-earth by The Big Man Himself and yet literally nobody apart from the elves seems to recognise this or take him seriously

like yeah gandalf is pretty grumpy most of the time but how would YOU feel if you were the fantasy equivalent of an angel and a bunch of people who only come up to your knee were just like “oh fuck it’s that spooky old wizard” every time you showed up for a friend’s birthday party

• you kneel before my throne unaware that it was built on lies

- take this gift, for the gods surely won’t

Violence for Violence is the Rule of Beasts

I am a testament of your failures

You think you’re the one who gets to kill me?