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@queuedperspective
Fuck off notif

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Ghost activity begone
âthis makes me personally uncomfortableâ, âthis seems in poor tasteâ, âthis is somehow harmful but presumably because youâre misinformedâ and âthis is actively maliciousâ are all different things. remember that
Things they don't tell you about being a first time wheelchair user in highschool
Literally everyone will ask if you broke your leg(s). Everyone. Even people you donât know. Theyll ask a lot and think youâre extremely fragile.
bruises show up within the first day of rolling around, and they can really suck
people will try to grab your chair if they think youâre struggling and it can be hard not to snap at them for it
static electricity is a huge issue. You will probably either continuously shock your leg when youâre rolling around or do what I did today and zap someone so hard as you pass that both of you nearly keel over
people will call you out as a faker if you do anything even remotely fun ever on your wheelchair. Wheelies? Obviously your legs are fine lol not like you have to go down fucking curbs /s
puddles are the worst and if thereâs a curb with a puddle all around and you have some ability to walk its a better idea to just stand up and navigate the chair than to fall backwards into said puddle
weird looks from people are inevitable, especially from people who donât like you
bus drivers will often push your chair and give you advise you donât want to hear, even if you tell them nicely you can push yourself. Its really hard not to get mad at them for it
no wheelies in school. Though if you do it in the elevator when no one else is with you you canât really get caught.
speaking of wheelies, always be ready to throw at least one arm behind you in case you fall. They say tuck your chin in but its easier and more reliable to throw your hands back and keep your neck up so you donât hit the floor. Sore arms are way easier to put up with than head injuries
donât even bother to try and roll back up curbs. You will either be there for an hour or fall backwards. I managed to do both.
90% of classrooms that arenât special ed are not very wheelchair accessible.
people will automatically assume youâre faking something if youâre not considered dumb enough in their standards to fit in with disabled students (aka high class ableism at its finest)
people are going to give you weird looks if you donât suddenly start sitting with the other disabled kids
standard backpacks usually dangle way too much to keep on you easily, so try to pack light
built in storage on wheelchairs cannot sufficiently carry books
donât try to hold an umbrella. Period. Especially not with your teeth. It doesnât work.
donât try to give the bus driver your ticket while youâre stuck on the ramp. And speaking of, its easy to start falling down the bus ramp so be careful, and when in doubt throw on the breaks
and finally if youâre like me pray to god you donât go nonverbal when someone is trying to push you and you donât want them to because it is hard to get them to stop if you canât speak
able-bodied people can and should 1000% reblog this, some of these things Iâve seen on tips about using a wheelchair but a lot of these werenât things Iâve seen
useful advice. itâs super important to research mobility stuff before you try to âhelpâ.
Iâm????
Oh my God this actually explains so much.
So thereâs a known thing in the study of human psychology/sociology/what-have-you where men are known to, on average, rely entirely on their female romantic partner for emotional support. Bonding with other men is done at a more superficial level involving fun group activities and conversations about general subjects but rarely involves actually leaning on other men or being really honest about emotional problems. Men use alcohol to be able to lower their inhibitions enough to expose themselves emotionally to other men, but if you canât get emotional support unless youâre drunk, you have a problem.
So men need to have a woman in their lives to have anyone they can share their emotional needs and vulnerabilities with. However, since women are not socialized to fear sharing these things, womenâs friendships with other women are heavily based on emotional support. If you canât lean on her when youâre weak, sheâs not your friend. To women, what friendship is is someone who listens to all your problems and keeps you company.
So this disconnect men are suffering from is that they think that only a person who is having sex with you will share their emotions and expect support. Thatâs what a romantic partner does. But women think thatâs what a friend does. So women do it for their romantic partners and their friends and expect a male friend to do it for them the same as a female friend would. This fools the male friend into thinking there must be something romantic there when there is not.
This here is an example of patriarchy hurting everyone. Women have a much healthier approach to emotional support â they donât die when widowed at nearly the rate that widowers die and they donât suffer emotionally from divorce nearly as much even though they suffer much more financially, and this is because women donât put all their emotional needs on one person. Women have a support network of other women. But men are trained to never share their emotions except with their wife or girlfriend, because that isnât manly. So when she dies or leaves them, they have no one to turn to to help with the grief, causing higher rates of death, depression, alcoholism and general awfulness upon losing a romantic partner.Â
So men suffer terribly from being trained in this way. But women suffer in that they canât reach out to male friends for basic friendship. I am not sure any man can comprehend how heartbreaking it is to realize that a guy you thought was your friend was really just trying to get into your pants. Friendship is real. Itâs emotional, itâs important to us. We lean on our friends. Knowing that your friend was secretly seething with resentment when you were opening up to him and sharing your problems because he felt like he shouldnât have to do that kind of emotional work for anyone not having sex with him, and he felt used by you for that reason, is horrible. And the fact that men canât share emotional needs with other men means that lots of men who canât get a girlfriend end up turning into horrible misogynistic people who think the world owes them the love of a woman, like itâs a commodity⌠because no one will die without sex. Masturbation exists. But people will die or suffer deep emotional trauma from having no one they can lean on emotionally. And men who are suffering deep emotional trauma, and have been trained to channel their personal trauma into rage because they canât share it, become mass shooters, or rapists, or simply horrible misogynists.
The only way to fix this is to teach boys itâs okay to love your friends. Itâs okay to share your needs and your problems with your friends. Itâs okay to lean on your friends, to hug your friends, to be weak with your friends. Only if this is okay for boys to do with their male friends can this problem be resolved⌠so men, this oneâs on you. Women canât fix this for you; you donât listen to us about matters of what it means to be a man. Fix your own shit and teach your brothers and sons and friends that this is okay, or everyone suffers.

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There is no unskilled labor, only undervalued skills.
Friendly reminder
âDoing your bestâ does not mean working yourself to the point of a mental breakdown.
this one still smashes me in the face ten times a year. do not ignore pain, itâs no longer your best at that point
itâs no longer your best at that point
As some of you may or may not know I work in a Jewish hospital that provides rehabilitation and palliative care, and we were provided w this booklet regarding care for holocaust survivors and family members
I thought I might share it since it may be of use to other ppl who care for older Jewish people
Tbh some of this, in particular the first few bullet points, looks broadly useful for talking about trauma and generational trauma even outside the specific context of the Holocaust, and this deserves to be shared around! Thanks for putting it here.
text transcript:
Ten Thoughtful Commandments of Caring for Holocaust Survivors
Keep reading
This is a really useful set of points for not only what itâs explicitly created for (which is in and of itself very important), but yes, also for a *lot* of major trauma, intergenerational trauma and its effects, and also useful to read through and just think about how these things apply to trauma and intergenerational trauma generally (which I promise is actually all around you, wherever you are, and affecting things in ways that one doesnât notice, really, until one does.) Thank you in particular @kaaramel for the transcript.
thank god for the mythbusters though because it used to be that whenever i knew i had insomnia iâd just kind of accept it and stay up doing whatever until my morning classes and spend the day feeling like shit
but then they did an episode where they established that even just fucking laying there for a half hour, not even sleeping just laying there and not even for an hour, makes a significant difference and youâll feel way better
it has made a huge difference in my life to know that itâs okay if i canât fall asleep, it takes a lot of the pressure off and ironically helps me fall asleep better
âŚi did not know this, thank you
If anyone wants to look it up, the episode was specifically the Deadliest Catch crossover ep, and the myth was that itâs better/safer when working a 30 hour shift to take a 20 minute nap every six hours rather than try to power through. They did an obstacle course test, one without naps and one with, and even though they couldnât even sleep half the time the naps resulted in their scores doubling.
So actually I undersold it, even if itâs 7:40 and your alarm goes off at 8 just lie down and shut your eyes and it will still be better than nothing
This is what my mom always tells me:Â âYouâll rest even when youâre just lying downâ. Good to know for everyone who has problems sleeping.Â
@knightinironarmor
A New Normal: Ten Things Iâve Learned About Trauma
by Catherine Woodiwiss
1. Trauma permanently changes us.
This is the big, scary truth about trauma: there is no such thing as âgetting over it.â The five stages of grief model marks universal stages in learning to accept loss, but the reality is in fact much bigger: a major life disruption leaves a new normal in its wake. There is no âback to the old me.â You are different now, full stop.
This is not a wholly negative thing. Healing from trauma can also mean finding new strength and joy. The goal of healing is not a papering-over of changes in an effort to preserve or present things as normal. It is to acknowledge and wear your new life â warts, wisdom, and all â with courage.
2. Â Presence is always better than distance.
There is a curious illusion that in times of crisis people âneed space.â I donât know where this assumption originated, but in my experience it is almost always false. Trauma is a disfiguring, lonely time even when surrounded in love; to suffer through trauma alone is unbearable. Do not assume others are reaching out, showing up, or covering all the bases.
It is a much lighter burden to say, âThanks for your love, but please go away,â than to say, âI was hurting and no one cared for me.â If someone says they need space, respect that. Otherwise, err on the side of presence.
3. Â Healing is seasonal, not linear.
It is true that healing happens with time. But in the recovery wilderness, emotional healing looks less like a line and more like a wobbly figure-8. Itâs perfectly common to get stuck in one stage for months, only to jump to another end entirely ⌠only to find yourself back in the same old mud again next year.
Recovery lasts a long, long time. Expect seasons.
4. Â Surviving trauma takes âfirefightersâ and âbuilders.â Very few people are both.
This is a tough one. In times of crisis, we want our family, partner, or dearest friends to be everything for us. But surviving trauma requires at least two types of people: the crisis team â those friends who can drop everything and jump into the fray by your side, and the reconstruction crew â those whose calm, steady care will help nudge you out the door into regaining your footing in the world. In my experience, it is extremely rare for any individual to be both a firefighter and a builder. This is one reason why trauma is a lonely experience. Even if you share suffering with others, no one else will be able to fully walk the road with you the whole way.
A hard lesson of trauma is learning to forgive and love your partner, best friend, or family even when they fail at one of these roles. Conversely, one of the deepest joys is finding both kinds of companions beside you on the journey.
5. Â Grieving is social, and so is healing.
For as private a pain as trauma is, for all the healing that time and self-work will bring, we are wired for contact. Just as relationships can hurt us most deeply, it is only through relationship that we can be most fully healed.
Itâs not easy to know what this looks like â can I trust casual acquaintances with my hurt? If my family is the source of trauma, can they also be the source of healing? How long until this friend walks away? Does communal prayer help or trivialize?
Seeking out shelter in one another requires tremendous courage, but it is a matter of life or paralysis. One way to start is to practice giving shelter to others.
6. Â Do not offer platitudes or comparisons. Do not, do not, do not.
âIâm so sorry you lost your son, we lost our dog last year ⌠â âAt least itâs not as bad as ⌠â âYouâll be stronger when this is over.â âGod works in all things for good!â
When a loved one is suffering, we want to comfort them. We offer assurances like the ones above when we donât know what else to say. But from the inside, these often sting as clueless, careless, or just plain false.
Trauma is terrible. What we need in the aftermath is a friend who can swallow her own discomfort and fear, sit beside us, and just let it be terrible for a while.
7. Â Allow those suffering to tell their own stories.
Of course, someone who has suffered trauma may say, âThis made me stronger,â or âIâm lucky itâs only (x) and not (z).â That is their prerogative. There is an enormous gulf between having someone else thrust his unsolicited or misapplied silver linings onto you, and discovering hope for oneâs self. The story may ultimately sound very much like âGod works in all things for good,â but there will be a galaxy of disfigurement and longing and disorientation in that confession. Give the person struggling through trauma the dignity of discovering and owning for himself where, and if, hope endures.
8. Â Love shows up in unexpected ways.
This is a mystifying pattern after trauma, particularly for those in broad community: some near-strangers reach out, some close friends fumble to express care. Itâs natural for us to weight expressions of love differently: a Hallmark card, while unsatisfying if received from a dear friend, can be deeply touching coming from an old acquaintance.
Ultimately every gesture of love, regardless of the sender, becomes a step along the way to healing. If there are beatitudes for trauma, Iâd say the first is, âBlessed are those who give love to anyone in times of hurt, regardless of how recently theyâve talked or awkwardly reconnected or visited cross-country or ignored each other on the metro.â It may not look like what youâd request or expect, but there will be days when surprise love will be the sweetest.
9.  Whatever doesnât kill you âŚ
In 2011, after a publically humiliating year, comedian Conan OâBrien gave students at Dartmouth College the following warning:
âNietzsche famously said, âWhatever doesnât kill you makes you stronger.â ⌠What he failed to stress is that it almost kills you.â Odd things show up after a serious loss and creep into every corner of life: insatiable anxiety in places that used to bring you joy, detachment or frustration towards your closest companions, a deep distrust of love or presence or vulnerability.
There will be days when you feel like a quivering, cowardly shell of yourself, when despair yawns as a terrible chasm, when fear paralyzes any chance for pleasure. This is just a fight that has to be won, over and over and over again.
10.  ⌠Doesnât kill you.
Living through trauma may teach you resilience. It may help sustain you and others in times of crisis down the road. It may prompt humility. It may make for deeper seasons of joy. It may even make you stronger.
It also may not.
In the end, the hope of life after trauma is simply that you have life after trauma. The days, in their weird and varied richness, go on. So will you.
Some pretty good advice.

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A big failure mode â maybe the biggest â is punishing people for suffering.
You see someone suffering, you feel like you ought to help, but you donât want to help, and therefore you are compelled to insist that theyâre not suffering, or punish them for making you feel guilty, or paint them as a villain.
Examples include laws that outlaw being homeless in public, outlaw doing things that primarily poor people need to do to survive, make it hard for abused children to emancipate themselves, etc.Â
Also, social norms that make it okay to be mean to people just for being unhappy or lonely or frustrated in your presence.
In my book itâs not necessarily obligatory to help every suffering person.  But it is important to not punish them out of spite.  If youâre not going to help, at least donât harm.  This is hard for me sometimes, but itâs important. You have to be okay with somebody being upset or unfortunate in your presence; like, âyes, youâre unhappy, and thereâs no way Iâm going to fix that (either I canât or Iâm not willing to), but Iâm not going to add to the problem by being mean to you.â
Iâm working on this.  If someone has a problem Iâm not going to fix, just think âOkay.â Not âfuck you for having a problem at me.â  Not âHow dare you obligate me to help you.â  JustâŚÂ âOkay.â And donât make it worse.
bringing this back because itâs so so important
you canât help everyone. you can avoid being cruel to people who need help you canât give.
Do I really have to exist
i am not god; i sometimes think about how much doesnât have to exist, myself included. itâs a problem i find a lot. i donât feel necessary.
but then, neither is my dog. he is a sheepdog with no sheep. he has nightmares a lot. his purpose is moot.
one of my cats only eats bugs. he wonât catch mice. for an obligate carnivore, he loves moths.
is it required that i or you or anyone else exists. maybe not. but i kind of think of it as a small miracle. you do exist. despite how scientifically improbable it was for you to be created, you were. and something in that is beautiful, you know? the universe needed eyes to watch all these unnecessary things it created. you donât spend hours on your sim house just to put no people in it. does a house require people to exist? no. but it does require people to be a home.
i know the world demands you Fulfill Thine Divine Purpose. i think thatâs kind of bogus. you donât have to be useful or valuable or exceptional to be worth something. my dog is worth so much to me. the idea that heâs not necessary is silly to me.
yes, i know. life goes on when people leave. true, and true indeed. i think about that a lot. but i also know that my sisterâs cat goes to check to see if sheâs home every night, and sheâs been gone for months.Â
grand scheme? who knows. but the truth is that other people need you because you help them feel like they exist with purpose. maybe you havenât met the right people yet. i felt strongly in senior year of high school that nothing i did mattered - after all, i had no friends. i was bullied. if i died, it would make zero difference. and maybe it would have. maybe the gap would have filled after me. maybe my cat would learn that i was gone, that nobody was coming. maybe my mom would foster a new daughter. who knows. iâm not god.
but i do know if i didnât exist. if i had taken myself off the table because i didnât have to existâŚ. i wouldnât be here talking to you and all of my new friends here. i wouldnât tell you that, since youâre here, you might as well enjoy the rest of the things that shouldnât exist. televisions are sound and image boxes. music and art and dance and writing donât have to exist, but they do because they bring us joy, fill us with harmony. airplanes are godless flight machines and if god wanted us off the ground he would have given us wings.
airplanes were someone saying âthis doesnât have to exist, but i want it to.â  and i want you to exist because itâs worth it. itâs worth it for the dog you might adopt or the tattoo you might get or skinny dipping or writing songs or planting a garden. all things in life that wonât exist without you, that wonât happen without you around to make them happen. that need you to exist so they can exist too.Â
please stay on this earth. i canât force you, i canât offer you a promise that the world ever stops hurting. but i can say that somewhere, to someone, you matter. and you matter to me, because you exist, because you reached out to me, because you have a question that i ask myself daily.Â
hereâs my suggestion. when iâm at the point that the rope has a stronger pull than the art of the world, i make myself count the things that are good, and didnât have to exist, but do. libraries. books. bath bombs. me and you. because i know we can be a force for good, you and i. somewhere on some level we can help others or just help ourselves and thatâsâŚ. good. and i think, really, in this universe that loves entropy, yes, absolutely, we need you. we need the good you can do. and we need you. or, at least: i do.
Do this four times repeatedly and youâll be out. But how does it work? Thereâs some real brain science behind it.
Weâre trying this tonight!
Itâs about time someone got around to uncovering all the cheat codes for this âhuman beingâ software. Itâs only been out for like 10,000 years.
?????????????
Iâve used this technique for about a year, and I can safely say that it has efficiently transformed my sleeping habits from several hours of struggle to fall asleep, to passing out in a matter of minutes.
Itâs a form of Alexander Technique. Itâs a technique that was designed for actors to keep their body in ready working condition and give it the best way to perform. This is the method used to calm, and center the body. Once the body is at that point it can perform anything you want it to.
Reblogging for later reference after I tried it earlier today to try to calm down. It actually does help a lot, not just for sleep but if you have problems with anxiety.
My default mental setting is âvibrating intensely in the background.â After doing this, I felt noticeably calm and relaxed - I wasnât as fixated on my breathing, I wasnât tense, my movements werenât jerky and I didnât feel like I had to be as tense as possible to be under control. 10/10 would recommend.
me gonna try it
roach i'm moving cross-country in a few months! i have literally never moved ever in my entire life. do you have any tips or insights or just warnings of things to never, ever do? i'm already breaking The Rules by moving across six states to live with someone i've only known for a year, and i wanna mitigate my suffering as much as possible.
uh iâve moved every five or so years my whole life and honestly i just wing it.
donât worry too much about following Rules and think more about what you want and how to get it. though, keep an eye out for danger signs: people who donât respect your boundaries, living places with mold and bugs, any kinds of fees aplied to anything by anyone, especially landlords.
read all contracts closely. take extensive photo documentation of the condition of any place you move in to and upload it to a safe google doc. watch out for people who get angry a lot, or who are still complaining about wrongs dealt to them years ago. their dysfunctions will pull you down with them if you get too attached. and donât lend anyone anything youâre not prepared to lose.
make friends. the number one survival tool for a human is other humans. donât let your romantic partner be your whole world. join clubs, take classes, meet your neighbors. you donât have to find yourself a close knit superhero team that would die for eachother, but you should have someone to go to the movies with.
i think thatâs about all my moving advice. good luck!
What to Do If You're Kicked Off SSI/SSDI
Youâve been receiving benefits for a couple of years, and your regular âreviewâ came and went. They probably made you fill out that dehumanizing form about what you are and arenât able to do (which you need to answer as if youâre talking about your worst days; youâll probably feel like youâre exaggerating if you do it right), and maybe they made you see one of the horrible state-paid doctors that are likely to minimize your disability, trick you into hurting your own case, and lie about what you said.
You hoped it was all over, but the letter came back saying that âyour health has improvedâ and you are no longer disabled. You want to laugh - because your health has probably only declined - and cry, and scream, and you probably have thoughts of ending it all.
Donât lose hope. You have a good chance of getting back on it. But you need to act now.
Before you do anything else, bring the letter to your local Social Security office and request an appeal. Check the box that says you want to stay on benefits while your appeal is processed. You must do this within 10 days of when they think you received the letter (which is probably earlier than when you actually received it). If the office is open when you get the letter, go now. If not, go the next business day. You cannot afford to put this off.
Give them the names and contact information of any medical providers you have seen since you filled out the disability review paperwork. Save a copy of all the paperwork from this visit in case they claim to have lost it.
The next step is to go to your local independent living center and ask for advice on your case. They may be able to recommend doctors and lawyers to help you win.
If there isnât one in your area, or if they canât recommend a lawyer, look for a disability lawyer here or contact your local legal aid.
From now on, your full-time job is winning your appeal. (I know youâre on disability because you canât actually work a full-time job; thatâs why this system ends up killing so many people. I hope you have friends or family to help you through this process.)
Go to as many appointments with doctors, psychologists, physical therapists, and whatever other medical providers apply in your case, as you can handle. Make sure to save their contact information, and whenever you go to a new one, go to the Social Security office and update your paperwork with their information.
Stay in regular contact with your caseworker at the state disability determination office; their name should be printed on the denial letter you got. Ask them if they need more information. Being in contact with them might actually convince them not to âoops, mysteriously loseâ your paperwork or mix you up with someone else (yes, this does actually happen).
If youâre lucky, you wonât have to go to a hearing at all, and theyâll reinstate you after a reconsideration. If youâre not so lucky, youâll have to go through several stages of hearings. The odds are in your favor at these hearings. Donât lose hope. They need to prove that you have medically improved enough to go back to work, which you havenât.
Yay, youâve been reinstated! What do you do now? Well, this has probably caused a hiccup in your Medicare. Even though you checked the box that said you wanted to continue your benefits, something probably got screwed up. If youâre on SSI, theyâre probably deducting the Medicare premiums from the months you were considered ânot disabledâ from your checks even though SSI recipients are supposed to have their Medicare paid for. Your state SSI supplement might also be screwed up. Your Social Security office will tell you who you need to call/visit to expedite this being straightened out. Medicare may also have refused to cover doctorsâ visits from the time you were considered ânot disabledâ and youâll have to call or write them to appeal that.
Good luck, may everything work out in your favor, and may your next review go off without a hitch.

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itâs 2015, we should stop saying âadopt dont shopâ and change it to âadopt wisely and shop only from a reputable breeder who health tests their dogs and cares about their temperament and needs.â
AnywayâŚâŚ.. adopt donât shop
Ah no.
Adopt donât shop is a catchy phase but itâs ultimately based on uneducated claims and simplifying a much more complex issue. Thereâs a range of reasons why adopting from animal shelterâs isnât always the best course for some people.
Iâve worked in an animal shelter for 3 years now. And I am all for adoption and encouraging people to adopt. But there are valid reasons why adoption isnât always the right option.
Firstly allergies. There are specific dog breeds that are bred  to  be hypoallergenic for people with moderate  to severe allergies. Most people will just say in response âwhy not just find a  hypoallergenic dog in the shelter then!â This is unrealistic. As someone who has worked in a shelter, Iâve never seen a  hypoallergenic dog there. Most of the dog breeds are unknown or mixed breed.  Hypoallergenic are expensive too, so itâs unlikely theyâll end up in shelters. And if they do theyâd be high-demand dogs who would be easily adopted within days.
Breeds for specific purposes. Some people need certain breeds of dogs for certain specific reasons (be it allergies, illness, assisting with a disability, family friendly, working dog) ect. Certain breeds have been bred to assist with very specific purposes and expecting to find these breeds in shelters is unrealistic
It ignores the importance of good breeders and rescues working together. Breeders can offer valuable resources such as finances, kennel space, networking or knowledge  Shaming and alienating proper breeders does nothing to help animal shelters or the animals people claim to care about
Proper breeders are actually beginning to breed more healthier dogs (that often have a range of health issues due to inproper breeding). Such as with brachycephalic breeds like pugs.Â
Not everyone is prepared / experienced enough to deal with shelter dogs. Not all shelter dogs have issues, most of them are just lonely or scared. But there are also of dogs (and cats) that require extra care and patience. And you just never know with a shelter animal. Most of the time the history of the animals are unknown. You might not know how the animal will react around children, or around other pets. Not everyone can accommodate for the needs of these animals. Thatâs why so many animals adopted from shelters end up getting returned weeks or even days later! And this can really mess the animal up even more so.Â
Thereâs lots of great reasons to adopt shelter animals! Â But thereâs also great reasons to want to buy a pet from a proper breeder too. Shaming someone for buying a pet instead of adopting (especially when you donât know the circumstance or situation) is stupid and based on a misguided sense of moral high ground.Â
Another factor in my choice to buy from a breeder, is that responsible breeders offer lifetime support, so no animal they breed should ever end up in rescue- and the breeder will bend over backwards getting them out if they ever do. If anything were to happen to me, my dog has a safe and knowledgeable home to go to, guaranteed. Thatâs peace of mind. Also, my breeders are always available for any questions I might have, and will even be taking on my girl for a few months while Iâm away overseas. While I have endless respect for those who choose the rescue option, the ongoing support and shared love of the breed clinch it for me. Iâm proud of owning a dog from a responsible breeder.
White Privilege Explained.
Anon: I am white. That's all you know about me. Am I privileged based on that alone and assuming I am, should I feel guilt and what should I do about it?
Omar Ismail: Absolutely.
Consider it this way. All I know about you is youâre tall.
Do you have any advantages?
Yes.
Does that mean you donât deserve the can of tuna on the higher shelf? No. Nobody is saying that. Eat away mighty giant.
Should you feel guilty about getting the tuna from the top shelf? No. Nobody is saying that. Lighten your soulâs burden and let it fly free in the clouds beneath your knees.
Does that mean short people canât get the tuna? No.
Nobody is saying that. See how the enduring hobbit pushes forward in her quest.
Does that mean there arenât disadvantages of being tall? No.
Nobody is saying that. You have our sympathy for your poor bruised knees.
Omar Ismail: What people are saying is:
1. Denying you are lucky is silly.
2. Stop looking bewildered every time a short person canât reach something. Weâre sick of explaining this incredibly simple concept.
3. We know there are things you do not have (i.e. even higher shelves).
4. We know there may be other things preventing you reaching the high shelves. Maybe you have bad elbows or arthritis. Short people with arthritis are still below you. You are still lucky you are tall.
5. It works out well for most people, for the grocery store to put most things on medium shelves.
6. If you can help shorter people with things on higher shelves, do so. Why would you not do that? Short people can help you with stuff on lower shelves.
7. We are annoyed that the people who run the grocery store put all the best stuff on the top shelves.
8. There are a lot of people who are putting things on higher shelves because they hate short people. Donât associate with those people. They want everything to be about this height.
Omar Ismail: Same with white. Advantages. It doesnât mean youâre rich. It doesnât mean youâre luckier than a lucky black guy. Nobody wants you to be crippled with guilt. Nobody has ever wanted that, or means those things.
It means you have an advantage, and all anyone is asking is that you *get* that. Once you get that, itâs pretty straightforward to all the further implications.