(Currently emptying my queue at supersonic speed. If posts are in a random order, that's why.)
I loveee video games, psychology, nature, art, music, politics, queerness, intellectual conversation, reading, science, fruit, empathy, being right... the list will never end if I continue, but you get the point: I love a lot! YOLO! Have fun! Be free!
All life is beautiful (unless you're a conservative; die). Tolerating intolerance makes you complicit, not benevolent. Violence is a question, and sometimes it is the only answer. I hate hate and love love.
I'll mostly be reblogging political posts, art, humor, relatable shit, and fandom stuff for various video games. I might even post my own art, who knows! I'm also a massive yapper and often share my correct opinions on here.
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I use the general aroace-spec label because I struggle to define exactly what I feel (or don't feel). I also don't think the distinctions between types of attraction make sense nor do they matter, and I've never experienced what is considered to be romantic/sexual attraction towards any real person before. I center my aromanticism though because romance is the most subjective, so I understand it the least. I do desire an emotionally and physically intimate partnership, but without the cultural rules and expectations applied to traditional relationships. I'm also omni oriented—whatever that means in relation to everything else.
My detachment towards gender works the same way: Both of these concepts are arbitrary and socially constructed, and while I respect the validity of those who resonate with them, I personally require logical understanding to make connections. I've grown to resent gender, but I acknowledge its importance to others. If your internal sense of self aligns with the external concept of gender, who am I to deny you that experience? I guess this could be considered ideologically abolitionist but functionally anarchist. Neurodivergence probably has a lot to do with this and my queerness in general because it affects the way I perceive the world.
I use they/them pronouns exclusively and any/all gendered terms, but I prefer neutral ones if possible. Also, I'm a woman in a sociopolitical way and not a gender one, if that makes sense. As much as I yearn to escape the binary, I'm perceived as a girl, so being female is still a precious part of my identity because it shapes the way I experience life.
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Politically, I consider myself to be a general leftist. I'm a socialist who loves freedom, feminism, intersectionality, and atheism. I live in the USA. I'm also an ethical vegan for the animals. If you check my blog, you'll get to know me a bit better, because we'll be here all day if I list all the things I support and oppose, so I'm not doing that. Obviously, I'm against bigotry and support liberation for all oppressed classes. I block freely!!
I consciously distance myself from separatist movements. Most internet "leftists" are insufferable, and their only goals are to be contrarian and achieve moral superiority (which is ironic, as they're some of the most morally deplorable and inconsistent people). Some of you bitches treat rich old men’s words as God and revolution as the Rapture.
Do not let an unattainable utopia be the enemy of progress. Perfection is a myth. It's better to try the wrong way than to never try at all. Mistakes are how we learn. So go to that liberal protest, even if losers online say it’s useless. We must focus on our commonalities instead of our differences because human strength lies in unity. Besides, echo chambers are harmful no matter what the echo sounds like. Exchanging ideas is what fosters growth and innovation. If there’s any true “human nature” apart from our primal survival instincts, it is that we are social creatures who crave connection. Remember that.
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Disclaimer for this next segment: I understand that this is not a real issue. The reason I am even saying this is because in chronically online left-wing spaces, some people genuinely act this way, and I want to avoid interacting with that crowd because they are just miserable humans. Yes, it is obviously okay to punch up when making jokes and such. I'm talking about real, violent hatred.
Let me make this very clear: There is absolutely nothing progressive about hating someone for the sole fact of being a member of an uncontrollable demographic group. I am all for the oppressed hating their oppressors, but random people who happen to belong to a class with systemic privilege are not your oppressors. You’re not radical; you’re just a prejudiced asshole. If anything, you’re alienating potential allies. No, I am obviously not saying that oppressed people are responsible or at fault for their oppression, but you’re certainly not helping yourself by being a raging hypocrite. I don’t care if you think that “a true ally would tolerate it” because this is real life and we can’t afford to pick and choose if there’s any hope of liberation, especially when it comes to recruiting those with more power to enact change than us due to their privilege.
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Here's the part where I overshare online! Are you excited? You should be. I certainly am. My medical information is hype as fuck.
I've been diagnosed with C-PTSD, ADHD, OCD, and Visual Snow Syndrome. There's more (yay) but you can figure those out yourself. I strongly suspect that I have ASD and am trying to get a professional diagnosis, but medical misogyny is an unfortunately huge obstacle, and I've been misdiagnosed in the past by healthcare providers who know less about their own field than I do. But you best believe I will always persevere and advocate for myself.
Mental illness doesn't have shit on me anymore, though! We UP!!!! Strictly in my healing era and loving life against all odds. If you're struggling, I see you. I have some of the evilest disorders and was genuinely convinced I would never recover but look at where I am now! Survive today so you can thrive tomorrow. I promise you won't regret it. Once you learn how to overcome and manage mental illness, you can do anything. Life is what you make it, my love!
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a lot of transfems' posting about gendered socialisation makes it clear that they think it's something that they opt into/choose to participate in/have to enjoy to be affected by rather than something that happens to people from the time they are born. people start saying shit like "wow what a little flirt!" about baby boys before they've even developed object permanence. people have gendered expectations for babies based on their cries. mothers overestimate their infant sons' ability to crawl and underestimate their daughters' ability. these attitudes affect how people raise their children. these attitudes affect how children develop their attitudes towards themselves and others.
peers bullying you for your sensitivity, parents blowing up at you for liking Girl Things, boys saying you aren't really a boy because you're a pussy are things that happen to boys because they were born and raised male. being the world's sweetest most gentle and sensitive effeminate little child who never hurt a fly or did a misogyny doesn't make the male socialisation not exist. the socialisation one receives isn't an "I consent!" thing it's the way people treat you differently based on your gender. transitioning later in life doesn't magically stop wider society from being homophobic, transphobic & misogynistic and enforcing rigid expectations based upon this on anyone in society.
While it is true that "transgirl socialization" isn't "female socialization" because of common sociatal factors involved in being assigned male at birth. Its a little weird to say it's the same as "male socialization". Being a different kid solicits different responses from ones parents and other family and friends. And theres some measure by which that definately makes transgirls experiance different from your standard guy.
Yeah soft boys might get a lot of that same homophobia. But being a "soft boy" in its own right is a divergence from the gender norm. Theres somthing queer about that.
So if a transgirl wants to distance herself from all attempts to put her in a male box in any capacity, I would think on some level divesting the "male socialization" is a valid stance.
This term "male socialization" is frequently weaponized aginst transfems to bar them from womens spaces with no real test for what actually qualifies as "male socialization".
There are a lot of people out there with a broad range of experiances. A lot of people who claim the transfem/transwoman/transgirl labels with a lot of diversity of experiance.
Theres intersex individuals, individuals with fucked up parents forcing them into weird gender roles, individuals from different cultures.
Without clear definitions and factors of what one means when they say "transwomen are male socialized" it only serves as a dividing line between "acceptable women" and "unexceptable women" or worse "women" and "not really women".
So your defense of this term comes off as a little weird. I have been cautious to use the term "Trans Exclusionary" in this context as I wish to engage on good faith. But would like to let you know that that would be the common reading for anyone defending the term "male socialization" specifically because of how it has veen weaponized in the discourse.
Its a little weird to say it's the same as "male socialization". Being a different kid solicits different responses from ones parents and other family and friends.
But being a "soft boy" in its own right is a divergence from the gender norm. Theres somthing queer about that.
what you are saying here is that being gender nonconforming means that you get treated differently and therefore it's Queer and Different and not male socialisation. that's just not how it works. as I said the way you are socialised is not dependent on you enjoying it or conforming to it. it is actively regressive to go "well you're gender nonconforming so you're simply queer and different with it, this doesn't apply to you."
This term "male socialization" is frequently weaponized aginst transfems to bar them from womens spaces with no real test for what actually qualifies as "male socialization".
this being weaponised against transfeminine people does not mean that the concept itself is somehow invalid. there is no "test" because the concept is just "you were raised and treated as a boy(-then-man) which gave you a different experience to those raised and treated as girls(-then-women)." the gender-based differences in how children and adults are treated in society are notable from infancy.
Theres intersex individuals, individuals with fucked up parents forcing them into weird gender roles, individuals from different cultures.
the entire process of gendered socialisation is mass societal enforcement of gender roles onto children. the whole thing is fucked up. intersex individuals are often surgically operated on in infancy and then forced to conform to a more palatable gender identity for the sake of wider societal comfort: they also are affected by whatever socialisation they receive as a child based on how they are raised.
as for "individuals from different cultures." patriarchy is global, misogyny is global, homophobia is global, transphobia is global. male supremacist society is a near universal global constant that raises boys to believe they are powerful, strong, and that anything one would associate with girls & women is beneath them. even societies that lack gendered language are often still incredibly misogynistic.
if "being raised and treated as a boy-then-man is a different experience to being raised as a girl-then-woman" makes one personally insecure in one's transition rather than acknowledging a basic fact about how children and adults are treated by society, it comes across as a kneejerk instict to reject an association with anything "male", an understandable but ultimately reactionary viewpoint, rather than actually having an issue with the core concept.
I'll provide an example: have you noticed how small clothing for little girls is? inseams are shorter (by 65% on average!), shirts are cropped. clothing for little girls is often so revealing that it is uncomfortable for them to exist in them. girls must be constantly mindful of their short clothes not revealing themselves and must deal with the constant mental policing of checking that one's shorts haven't ridden up too high or one's crop top is in place. putting a little boy in the equivalents would have one accused of sexualising and grooming their child, while for girls this is the norm. why is that?
i think that gendered socialization is one of those models that's useful for discussing broad strokes - because you're right, on a societal level there's definitely differences - but it falls apart when applied to the individual. there's so many factors in how someone is raised, and in how they internalize their upbringing, that you really can't pick any random individual and sort their upbringing into a certain "male-socialized" or "female-socialized" box. sure, there's people who is fit squarely into what we'd think of as "male-socialized" or "female-socialized." but so many people don't that it's pretty reductive to act like we can just say all (or even most) trans women are "male-socialized" or that all/most trans men are "female-socialized."
just as a personal example, i'm a perisex transmasc/genderqueer lesbian, and everyone around me saw me as a girl when i was growing up. but my mom mostly bought me boys' clothes until i was old enough to pick my own clothes, i was never discouraged from any hobbies or toys for their gendered associations (either by my families or my peers), and in fact when i showed interest in hobbies like martial arts and STEM stuff, i was actively encouraged to pursue them. i also grew up in olympia and seattle, both of which are very queer- and trans-friendly (relative to much of the US, anyway), and the majority of my friends had similar upbringings.
now, of course i was still subject to societal misogyny - i did have male peers who were mocked for "girly" interests, and i internalized that and was a huge "not like other girls" teenager. i also had access to the internet starting in my adolescece, and internalized a lot of misogyny there, and i got sexually harassed in public as soon as i got boobs. and while my parents did a good job of sheltering me from my extended family's misogynistic ideals when i was little, i did start to notice them as i got older. but! i think it would be pretty ridiculous to say that i experienced "female socialization" the same way a child perceived as a girl would in a conservative, tradition-heavy, church-going family in the bible belt. and i think that, if you actually listen to trans people's experiences and descriptions of their childhoods, it's equally ridiculous to suggest that a transgender child being subjected to gendered socialization has the same experience as a cisgender child being subjected to the same.
like i said, i agree that on a societal level, we absolutely need to discuss the way that kids seen as girls tend to be raise differently than kids seen as boys, and the biases that inform that. it is systemic, and that system needs to be dismantled! but saying that "all children experience one of two gendered socializations, and that experience is consistent for all children within each category" is... honestly, beyond reductive.
I know that you are genuinely trying to be helpful and persuasive with your contributions and viewpoints and everything but all you are basically saying is "the idea that people of the same gender had similar experiences based on their gender is reductive." there is something that isn't lost on me about the fact that it's mostly people in the global north that are trying to frame their experiences as unique & special & not like other people. it reminds me of when people talk about global misogyny and oppression of women & girls and conservatives and liberals alike run forward to remind everyone that Well Actually it's Different in America/Canada/Europe/wherever like misogyny and the oppression of women & girls don't exist in those locations just because they're more forward.
if you actually listen to trans people's experiences and descriptions of their childhoods, it's equally ridiculous to suggest that a transgender child being subjected to gendered socialization has the same experience as a cisgender child being subjected to the same.
two things:
you're making this about how individual people personally feel about the phenomenon happens to them and not about the phenomenon itself occurring again, especially when a big chunk of your post went "well my family and friends were very progressive but this wider phenomenon, the thing you are describing, did still happen to me"
why do you think that this doesn't apply to me? why do you think that I am not trans and that this doesn't reflect my experience and description of my childhood, or that of any other trans people I know, if I say this?
I don't think that it is progressive or accurate to say "well don't worry because you're gender nonconforming or trans you are super ultra special and were seen as Some Other Thing, nobody treated you as a boy or girl but as Some Other Thing probably, so it's fine." I don't think that being someone gnc or trans later in life stops people from looking at you, assessing you as Boy or Girl, and treating you accordingly, and I don't think that is something that magically stops applying to girls and women in a city once it's progressive enough.
I made this post after a back-and-forth with a transfem intersex friend of mine about her specific gripe of being used as some sort of "gotcha" by dyadic trans people when talking about socialization. nuances don't make the broader experience any different. I don't know what it is about having a broad categorisation of different experiences that is so inherently bothersome or difficult to comprehend? if I said that those raised as girls are all affected by misogyny growing up in ways that those raised as boys are not, because they're boys, would I be liable to get the same "well actually"? or is it just the nature of the term "gendered socialisation" that gets people so eager to go "well I'm different I was a special queer child in Liberal City, USA." I don't understand and I do not think I will get your viewpoint based on this, so I will stop engaging here, but thank you for reading and your contribution.
people in fiction are always making plans like "how about tuesday?" and then leaving without elaborating. what time? where? do you even have each other's numbers? deeply stressful
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very telling that even if you’re not allowed to view content related to self harm/suicide/eating disorders due to not giving up your ID on the uk internet you will still be shown relentless ads for weight loss drugs and fad diets showing unrealistic/AI generated bodies and unhealthy methods and time frames for weight loss that can only be achieved by starvation. oh and also so so many gambling ads. relentless ads for gacha and gambling services. almost like it’s not actually about protecting kids at all or something
One of the most annoying genres of people on the internet are people who act like they believe science is one single monolithic thing. Like, you'll see an article saying something like "scientists studying the movement of tectonic plates", and then in the comments there'll be several smug people saying "smh why are scientists doing this instead of finding a cure for cancer", like. Why would a geologist be doing that.
Just had a debate about this and we are feeling all fired up so lets talk about this. The debate was about self-harm scars, and whether art of them or photos of a person with them need trigger warnings.
We aren't talking about wounds. We aren't talking about fresh cuts. We aren't talking about gore. We are talking about fully-healed scars. Cuts and gore should be given a trigger warning, but NOT scars.
We have seen this from not just one person, but many people over the years, and we are sick and tired of it.
"Self-harm scars need trigger warnings" is the same as telling someone that they should keep their scars covered up. That a person with scars on their thighs can no longer wear shorts. That a person with scars on their arms has to wear long sleeves, or keep it bandaged.
"But it triggers me and causes me discomfort, because I am still in recovery." I am sympathetic for your recovery, but that doesn't give you the right to tell someone what they can and cannot wear. It doesn't give you the right to tell people that they should cover up. That can lead to feelings of shame in the person you are requesting that of, and make them feel like they have to censor or hide their scars. Their scars are part of who they are.
Do we have to add a TW to all scars, then? If a person is recovering from a traumatic surgery, and they go online and see scars on someones stomach, does that mean that post should have had a TW for having surgical scars on them? Just because someone has trauma of that surgery, trauma that can lead them down a mental health spiral?
Its not your fault if it’s hard for you to see self-harm scars, but you cannot expect other people to undermine their own progress because of that. You’re allowed to struggle with what troubles you, but that doesn't give you the right to treat others as taboo for having scars. The internet cannot be tailored for every person, thats just not how reality works. You can't censor people's scars because it makes you personally uncomfortable.
Your recovery can't hinder someone else's recovery. You need to learn how to live with your own self-harm scars, not drag other people down for having them.
We walk around in the real world, wearing clothes that anyone else can wear, even if it puts our scars on display, because thats reality. Reality doesn't HAVE trigger warnings for scars. And people shouldn't be forced to shy away from wearing their desired clothes just because it exposes their scars.
ughh i hate trans men because they’re men! never mind that i treat them completely differently to cis men or that i casually infantilize them and insult them using specifically very stereotypically gendered insults like bitch or cunt. sigh, men ammiright
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Never stop being an annoying vegan ! I was previously leaning anti vegan (though didn’t have a strong position on it) and saw your post, scrolled through the responses and decided “huh. maybe vegans are misrepresented”. That’s when I actually decided to look into veganism and guess what! You were totally right. Veganism is so compatible with leftist politics, and literally just interacting with leftists irl makes it clear that many of us are vegan. Me included now :]
oh wow this is really cool to hear! i really was hoping that some people would see the connection and at least look into it but it's great to hear that you've gone vegan and i hope it's going well!
thank you for this! and no worries, i have been annoying all my life i don't think i'm capable of not being annoying but i am choosing to direct it with veganism lol.
i wish i had the money to go to LA to try a scientology speedrun. im small i can get under them. a therian should try it im sure they wont be expecting someone to run in on all fours
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