Question of Smoke

(via bsky)

In case anyone hasn't heard, the cyclospora outbreak affecting tons of people in the US right now is coming from Taylor Farms produce. Best to stay away from bagged lettuce and prepared salads completely right now, but especially the ones mentioned in the screenshot:

Taylor Farms Earthbound Farms Little Salad Bar (Aldi) Marketside (Walmart) Kroger House Brand Target private label greens Costco salads and greens etc Trader Joe's chopped salad kits and fresh produce Fast food: McDonalds, Taco Bell, (Yum! Brands), Chipotle, Subway, Pizza Hut, KFC, Olive Garden, Top Golf, Red Lobster, Burger King, etc.

This is not the first time I've heard about a Taylor Farms foodborne illness outbreak. I stopped eating their salads after reading a description of the conditions in their facilities. Doesn't sound like they've improved anything.

Like I said, the museum was a pretty snotty institution. It’s got a LOT of objects it’s way famous for possessing, but nobody knew about the absolutely massive collection of Moche erotic pottery it had because the curators were totally embarrassed by this stuff.

Some examples:

Pretty hot shit, right? They never, ever put any of this stuff on public view or published it in any catalogues but - we legit had like several hundred pieces of Moche ceramics in the “dirty pots” category. Anyway, I was left alone to just do my job with regard to the database for several years, ok? And I figured, well, these’re accessioned objects in the museum’s collection - better get down to bidness. 

I catalogued every goddamn bestiality, necrophiliac, cocksucking, buttfucking, detached penis, and giant vulva drinking cup in that collection. I’d be like, 

A drinking vessel in form of a standing man wearing a tunic and cap. He holds an oversized erection in his hands and stares into the distance (note I did not say “like he’s hella-constipated”). The vessel has a hole at both the tip of the penis as well as around the rim of the figure’s head, thus forcing the drinker to drink only from the penis or risk spilling wine all over themselves from the top of the vessel. Red and orange slip covers the surface of the piece.

Pretty straightforward, right? Apparently the deep seated fear of these objects that the curators exhibited was meant to spread to me as well, but - no one ever gave me that memo, because I guess Midwesterners reproduce asexually. When the curators understood that I had catalogued all of these objects in addition to the other, non-sexy pieces in the collection, they were apparently livid, but knew they had no legs to stand on in terms of getting pissed at me for it. 

I visited the museum’s online public access database a few years back and - every single description I wrote of these pieces has been totally neutered to say something like Male figural vase. 

well now i just havee to draw more rocky in my style

Interplanetary Journal of Cultural Studies Volume 16, Issue 3, Pages 322-340

Abstract

The recently decoded Internet Archive includes the digital artifact called “Archive of Our Own” (AO3) from early third millennium Earth.  AO3 is unusually well backed up and therefore is presumed to contain some of the most significant -- perhaps even sacred -- texts of the time.  In this paper we present our preliminary analysis of AO3 metadata, including new insights about the literature, gender and sexuality, religion, and scientific understanding of this historical era: 

I. LITERATURE. We describe the cultural centrality of figures such as the Winchesters and Reader.  We explore how they featured heavily in every dominant literature genre of the era, including Fluff, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, and Oral Sex.  

II. GENDER AND SEXUALITY. We review the overwhelming evidence that male-male relationships were the most culturally significant sexual and romantic relationships, but we also show that it was a culture with an unusually broad set of sexual and gender roles.  In particular, we highlight the unusual tripartite conceptualization of gender as including alpha, beta, and omega roles; we note the apparent prejudice against betas, illustrated in the prevalence of “no beta we die like men” and similar protest slogans. 

III. RELIGION. We describe a newly discovered religious taboo: doves were a common sacrificial animal of the time, but they were forbidden from being eaten.  

IV. SCIENCE. Finally, we present new insight about alternate universes.  While previous scholars hypothesized that the scientists of Earth may have developed a correct early theory of the multiverse by the late second millennium, our analysis of AO3 presents evidence to the contrary.  As late as the early third millennium, prevailing theories postulated highly specific universes, such as a universe in which everyone is in high school, or a universe contained within a coffee shop.  

& most of the prank war is captured on like. Zoeys extremely blurry go pros (one dedicated YouTuber is like. if I did the maths right, she’s running 60km per hour…) as she shrieks n rumi catapults herself over the railing to bounce off the couch cushions & tackle her to the ground

& then there’s another contingent I think the fans divide themselves into like. oh they gotta have some kinda warrior name for it like. queens guard for rumi, death dancers (?) for Mira, turtle tanks for zoey.

anyway the fans follow all three of them but they make a game of like not “cross contaminating” the prank streams like they won’t give spoilers to zoey on stuff Rumi or Mira have planned or set up on their streams. but it’s just a lot of silly whimsy n also all the fans are like 😭 they really love each other bc Mira is like musing on pranks n she’s like obviously the point of a prank is that the other person likes it & chat is like. Um! What about when u hunted zoey through the park the other night. & miras like. Beatific smile. Great question! She loved that. but yeah miras like ok the pranks can’t involve anything that Zoey would be sad if it got ruined which honestly means bedrooms are out of the question, the studio as well, and NO WAY any of her notebooks take collateral damage. ok yknow what would really make her laugh?

So, in terrible news, Trump's trying to pull some strings to pass this massive internet censorship bill, featuring all the kinds of internet censorship we're terrified of, including mandatory ID for accessing basically any website, specifically to crush state regulation of AI, because apparently this man will always see the moral bottom of the barrel and start digging.

The bastards in the House PASSED IT this morning.

Mercifully, it still needs to pass the Senate. GET ON YOUR SENATORS.

Hello. My name is ____ _______, spelled ________, my email is ________, phone number ________, address ________, zip code ________. I’m calling to request that Senator ______ do everything in his power to block and vote NO on H.R.7757, the Kids Online Safety Act, the No Fakes act, the KIDS act, the KOSPA, and the age verification mandates being pushed by Donald Trump. These bills together would result in government regulations of protected speech for both adults and children. The act would force social media platforms to restrict lawful speech, allow the government to dictate and control online communications, and require age verification mandates.

Age verification mandates would require users to disclose personal information before accessing lawful speech online— hugely invading privacy and opening the door to people’s personal data being stolen, and completely eliminating the safety of anonymity for everyone online.

Please block these bills and protect the American citizens’ right to free speech and anonymity online.

Edit: Here’s an email script to tweak:

I’m writing to inform you that you need to vote No on H.R.7757, KOSA, the KIDS act, the No Fakes act, and the KOSPA. These bills would require all internet users to give up their legal identities to every website they use to prove their non-minor status, and force government regulations and oversight on all communications on social media platforms, destroying any ability for people to exercise their right to free speech. And the government dictating and controlling online communications for people who are forced to give up their identities to every data mining platform would be catastrophic for everyone involved.