Queer Poly Quorum

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I caught my smile in the mirror today. It was brighter than that annoying light in my bathroom. I wished for a moment that you could have seen it.

Remember how I use to tell you “I don’t need you, but I want you.” and it hurt you a little, somewhere deep it stirred… and then you said, “But I need you.” And I believed it. Perhaps that was something we couldn’t heal from.

I tried to explain it once – The want over the need.

“It’s not that I don’t -need- you, it’s that I don’t NEED anyone. I’m whole all on my own. I finally reached a place where -I- am enough for me. And that’s profound. I don’t NEED you… but the whole of me… wants you.”

To me… that is so much more – wanting over needing. Because there is no missing part of me that feels a need for something to fill it. Instead, you get all of me. 

Me fully.

And it’s just more to give.

And when things sent us in opposite directions. I still wanted you. I still want you now.

But that smile in the mirror today, it held meaning. It was a visual perception of my fullness still here with me today. It was here before you… with you… and now, after you.

I’m happy and now my want, is for you to be happy.

 I want you to catch your perfect blinding smile in the mirror. I hope that today you can see you as I have. Fully. Beautifully.

Xoxo,

I’m totally a poly sloth, how about you?