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@queerhandbook
Hi! Is there a definition for not really fantasising about sex (but when I do, it’s kind of equally. Boys n girls). Like I slightly desire sex? But I don’t really see it as relevant? Is there a term for that?
Here are some possibilities!
Cass- Feeling utterly indifferent to attraction, believing it isn’t important.
Gray-asexual: feeling attraction rarely, vaguely, or weakly. You can replace asexual with bisexual, pansexual, etc., whatever fits for you.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Hi! So I'm a girl and I've been questioning myself for a while. So the only thing I know for sure is that I'm asexual. I'm aesthetically attracted to anybody regardless of gender and would kiss anyone but I'm romantically interested in boys only. Is there a term for this? I've been told that how I feel isn't valid and that I'm actually just straight but I know that I'm not 100% straight.
For your romantic attraction, that would be heteroromantic. I’m not sure of the suffix for your aesthetic attraction, however. You could use panaesthetic.
What you’ve been told is 100% wrong. Your feelings are absolutely valid, and you aren’t straight. You are valid.
Hi! I’m kind of questioning rn and unsure about my sexuality and I’m kind of worried. What if I’m actually straight after all? I mean I’m a girl and I do feel that boys are attractive and girls as well. But what if, i know this sounds stupid, it’s a phase. I don’t know I’m just scared but I don’t know :/
It is normal to question! You shouldn’t be worried about being straight, it doesn’t make you lesser of a person. I know a lot of the time lgbtq+ circles will shit on straight people, but that doesn’t diminish your worth. Even if it is a phase, your worth is still there. The moon has phases and we still love it!
Is it weird that I never really had a crush or fell in love? Like I have crushy feelings(towards boys and girls it doesn’t really matter to me atm) but that mostly goes away when I get to know them. I feel quiet weird because people talk about being in love etc and I just can’t relate at all? And I love romance stuff but I just like idk it’s so weird :/
It’s not weird! Your feelings are valid. It doesn’t make you weird to not connect with romance. If you’re looking for a possible identity, I’d look into aromantic. Just remember you are absolutely wonderful.
Hi is there a term for not fitting into any sexualities at all? This includes asexual, and pretty much every sexuality you can think of, I don't belong to any of them
Hmm, that’s a good question! I did a little bit of research, and here are some terms that might work!
Cass- Feeling utterly indifferent to your orientation, as though it does not matter or is not a significant part of your identity.
Merc- (or abro-) One who cannot pinpoint their sexuality, for it is ever changing.
Non- Not sexual/romantic/etc; unconcerned with sex or sexuality or romanticism/etc. More specific subset of Asexual/Aromantic/etc.
Pomo- An orientation where one denies or does not fit any labels for a particular kind of attraction. For example, someone who is pomosexual may or may not feel sexual attraction, but is not interested in specifying whether they feel it, and to whom. ‘Not straight’. A label for not wanting or needing a precise label.
Sans- When there’s no trend line in the attraction; basically, it’s a very fluid orientation.It means no orientation (sans means without).
Void- Feels like a void or hollow feeling where your orientation should be, rather than just a lack of attraction.
Let me know if none of these work for you, and I’ll do some more digging!
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Hi! So I’ve got this question: how do I know if I’m genderfluid? I’ve been questioning my gender for some time now, and I’m hella confused. All I know is that I’m not trans and I’m not likely to be cisgender. I might be something other than genderfluid but that feels the closest to me. What should it feel like to be genderfluid? I’m so confused that I sometimes feel like I’m making all of this up...
You are not making any of it up! Being confused is natural. Genderfluid means that your gender shifts between 2 or more genders. If you feel that you have several genders that you shift between, you might be genderfluid!
So question. I kinda identify as bisexual but I'm only attracted to the same sex sometimes. I can look at a girl one day and thinks she's hot but another day I experience 0 attraction toward her. What's up with that?
Hi there! You might be abrosexual, which is when your sexuality shifts/is fluid. Here’s the wiki for it, and @abrosexuality is a tumblr about it (obligatory disclaimer that I haven’t fully read through the tumblr).
Another thing to note is bisexuals may remain static in their sexuality but the intensity of attraction to certain genders can shift.
Hey ! For the glossary I think you should include both polyamory and polysexuality :)
I will definitely include both of those! Thank you for suggesting them!
Can i be bisexual and still be attracted to nb people or trans peopl or does that make me pansexual?
You absolutely can be bi and attracted to trans and nonbinary people!
Binary trans people are the gender they are. So if you're attracted to men, that includes trans men, and it's the same for women and trans women.
Bisexual is attraction to two or more genders, and nonbinary genders absolutely can be included in those genders!
I feel like a lot of people don’t want to ask questions they have about gender/sexuality to LGBT people because they don’t want to offend them because we talk about cishet people asking stupid or intrusive questions a lot
But actually when you’re questioning it’s really helpful to be able to ask some ‘stupid’ questions although you’re too afraid to
So can y'all LGBTQIA+ people reblog this if you’re totally fine with people asking questions about your gender/sexuality, as long as they do so respectfully
I will happily answer your questions, no matter how 'stupid' you think they are!
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Stevie is a lesbian YouTuber who often posts about sex and hooking up, giving tips specific to wlw because she noticed there were no resources similar to that online at thetime. She’s pretty awesome, and maybe the book could include links to her videos or scannable inserts (like scan a QR code to see a video). Even if not, she’s still very informative. Good luck with your book, and I’ll send another ask if I think of anything else xx I think this would be a great resource for LGBT kids to have!
Thank you for this suggestion! Including some QR codes would be so cool, and I think I will do that for some videos and links!
I’ve heard of Stevie before, and I think I’ve seen some videos too! I will absolutely check her YouTube channel out some more :)For those interested: here is her channel!
So i'm still kinda trying to figure myself out. All I know for sure is that I am asexual. Here's the slightly complicated part. I'm a girl and I'm aesthetically attracted to guys and girls (in fact I actually prefer girls) but I've never had actual feelings for another girl. Like I wanna flirt with them and kiss them and I'm constantly checking out other girls, but I only have romantic feelings for guys. Is there a specific term for this or am I just really weird?
Hi anon! You are definitely not weird.
There are several different types of attraction! You may be just experiencing physical/sensual attraction to girls, romantic attraction to guys, and sexual attraction to no one.
This article describes what is involved in various types of attraction, and it may help to go through it!
As for labels, you can combine any of those with a prefix. For example, combining the prefix bi- with the term for sensual attraction, one would get bisensual as a label. Mix and match to find the best one(s), if you’d like to.
I hope this helps!
Hey ! I've been meaning to find this out for a while because I want to know if I identify as polyamorous. Does a polyamorous person absolutely HAVE to have more than one partner ? Or is it just an option to have more than one (with everyone consensual about it) ? (Like to be okay with the idea)
Hey there! Polyamorous people do not always have to have more than one partner!
Hi, I love your idea, but I can't use my email to submit stuff. Can I send it in a submission or an ask to this blog?
Absolutely!
Hey! I am very interested in your book, or at least the premise of it, but I am also wary, for reasons I hope you can understand: A lot of projects that seem to be heavily centered on tumblr's user base turn out to be, well, scams, in the long run. Is there anything you can offer in the way of reassurance for those interested in submitting that we can actually expect this book to see the light of day?
I have no idea what to offer honestly. I’m sorry. I mean, I have a tentative outline for it, but that’s all I got right now. Idk what else tangible to offer.
Another thing is that a lot of those projects request money for them. But there has been absolutely no mention of money for this project. I do not want or need anyone’s money for this project. All I want/need is 2-3 sentences, which really is not that hard or scammy tbh. There really is no risk to sending in 2-3 sentences of advice.
One last thing is frankly it’s not centered at all around the users of tumblr. I’m much more focused on the Facebook page (though now that I’ve been post-blocked for 30 days that might change, sigh).
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Can you be under 18 and submit to your book?
Yes!
I don't quite understand something. I don't mean to be homophobic as I am a lesbian myself. I just want to know more about my community as am fairly new to it. The thing I don't understand is how can people with the pronouns they/them be lesbian Or gay. I don't have a pacific gender(sorry if I'm wrong with that) and that only girls can be lesbian and that boys can only be gay?? I really don't know and I'm really confused.
First off, welcome to the community!
For pronouns: Pronouns do not always equal gender. Many times it does, but also many times it doesn’t. You can never know someone’s gender for sure just by their pronouns, and you can never know someone’s pronouns for sure just by their gender. So, using he/him pronouns doesn’t always mean the person is a man, she/her doesn’t always mean woman, and they/them doesn’t always mean nonbinary.
Here’s a post by @closet-keys on why lesbians might use he/him or they/them pronouns. And here’s a post by @butchspace on he/him lesbians specifically. These two posts may be helpful to you!
Also, lesbians do not have to be women. You can be nonbinary and be a lesbian, as long as you are not a man or man-aligned. This leaves room for nonbinary people who may identify as lesbians.
And as for gay, it is not just for boys. It is commonly used as an umbrella term or descriptor for non-straight people. Lesbians use it, bi people use it, etc. Gay is not an identity limited to gay men.
I hope this helps some! If you have any further questions, please feel free to ask!
