QUE🖤 @quebabez - Tumblr Blog

Maybe you were right Cuervo! I should have became friends with your sister Ollie. We are closer in age and have stuff in common!

#sometimes I wonder if we were still be friends if I didn’t make your my best friend #I think everybody believes that fall in love with their best friends at some point in life #you were my twin flame in a friend #i miss you a lot of the time but I don’t think I’ll be able to ever say that in person to you

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Why can’t you just ever say you are thinking about mean and mean it?

#why do you only say it when you are wanting sex with me #not when I’m actually on your mind #and never for just me #you just use me #because it’s actually true #you don’t like me but I’m just filling your day #idk anymore #I don’t think of sex with you freely #I don’t even feel like I can approach you about it #but you feel like you have the right to approach me #and want it from me #you say these fake ass thank you about going to the movies with me but we’re not even a couple #how else are you going to go?#how are you going to do anything?

I’m not okay.

#don’t go see you me and Tuscany with someone that don’t act like they are in a relationship #I’m clearly single but I’m being controlled #I’m being killed from the inside out #how much more of this do I have to go?#no I love you #no hugs #no kisses #no holding hands #no dates they just being called outings #I’m numb to the thought of marriage and kids with you #I don’t want it #I don’t want you #not a relationship with you #you are just happy to be living under my roof not truly worrying about the bills #nor how I am able to take care of my pets #when will this end?

The smell of shea butter reminds me of you.

#🐦‍⬛

You will be the reason why I lose a path of love.

#I’ve wasted six years #you’ve talked down on me #you’ve called me names #you’ve convinced me to leave jobs which lately has led to homelessness #you have been jealous of my career that I had way before we even got together #you faked supported me #you gave me false hope #you have turned me against so many people #you’ve hit me #you’ve pushed me to a point of cutting myself #you blame it all on me #I can’t wait for the day you move on and your out of my life #you’ve broken me #you were always going to be like this #a control freak with anger issues

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quebabez

Left on read!

quebabez

A day goes by and this is what I end up getting. I’m not going to let myself become vulnerable for you again.

#I’m done #I’m deattaching from you #I don’t want you I love yous #I don’t want you to touch me #I don’t want a future with you #nor do I want any of your so called money that you will be getting

Should I keep drinking?

#I feel great!#I feel confident #I want more #I want more music #I want to dance #I want to sing #I see myself right now #I don’t feel sad emotions #I feel like me #I like this!

Can’t feel a thing!

#jack is now my best #I like this #I’m just vibing out #country music and all

kahunasdiary

Bottle of Jack next to my bed. Drinking it on ice to numb the emotional pain.

#I don’t know where this is going to get me back I hope I don’t feel it

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Left on read!

#man I cried multiple times last night #got no sleep either #and I’m the one doing everything #working #paying bills #cleaning #taking care of the pets #and so much #more

Am I just your friend?

#it’s been sitting with me for days now #you always say that when you are talking to someone you refer me as your friend #for instance you told the Canadian judge that your friend was at the even judging fetch #how do you think that makes me feel #you live with me #you say you love me #you’ll have sex with me #you’ll eat with me and even go to work with me #but clearly I’m not your girlfriend partner and damn sure ain’t your wife #what the fuck am I to you?

I’m not sure how I am feeling right now.

#I have been trying to have sex with her for it seems like over a week now #I’m walked around naked #I’ve made sexual remarks #I’ve touched on myself #I guess you just want me sexual when you want me #and you make it go for days on in

I did something that I have actually never done before, have I thought it yes, have I wanted to do it but didn’t, but this time this made me do it.

#yet again another argument #over oatmeal and cereal #also for me and my dog has she would say being in the kitchen ending up in her way #I did something and do I regret it to be honest no #but am I worried that I might allow it to go too far yes #I cut myself #I wanted to feel the pain physically so maybe the emotional pain would feel less #I really don’t know if it did or not #how could I let myself get here #I’ve always just scratched myself when I’m emotionally overwhelmed but this time it went to using an object #what is wrong with me #why am I here

I want someone to be in love with me. Especially with every part of me; the sad, the career driven, the goofy, the pet mom, the attitude, the lazy, the calm, the shut down, the over excited, the trauma little girl, the courageous and the ambitious woman I am.

#I’m tired of you not seeing me for who I am #you see me for what you can control #you don’t love me nor are you in love with me #if so you wouldn’t want to change everything about #me #at the end of the day I know this isn’t going to work out and maybe I’m just meant to help you raise #rise*#one day you won’t need my roof or my food because that’s what you say I only give you #you say I treat you like a slave but I’m the one trapped #you have boxed your own self in #I never once told you to not get a job or not write #you made the choices that have lead you here #I’m tired of feeling like I’m not loved

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I want a bottle of whiskey

#I don’t want to feel anything #I want to wash away just for once

I’m so over this shit.

#you don’t kiss me #hug me #compliment #me nor even look at me like I’m beautiful #you don’t have sex with me #you don’t do what I like to do #you don’t even want me to look good only worry about yourself

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