quarlie

It's been a while since our last Slack punfest.

You know what, I think this one works better as a transcript.

On the Telekon Slack, finalbroadcast dropped this picture from Musik pictures i drawn in the shitposting channel:

I bet you can guess what happened next!

Albumen Nation (purplepolecat) Chick Chick (danger.octopus) Chick Idiot (purplepolecat) CHVRCH’S (purplepolecat) Cluck DVA (the8bitdeity) Dave “Huevo” Ogilvie (earworm) Egghast View (mennoknight) Eggs Gang Children (Martin) Eggs Marks the Pedwalk (purplepolecat) Eggszoloscope (Martin) Ei-stürzende Neubauten (Martin) Front Line Eggsembly (def funkist) Hen Are Us Too (earworm) Hencephalon (me) Hen Comes Silence (purplepolecat) Henturion Prime (danger.octopus) iVardenovoid (Lockhart) Killing Yolk (purplepolecat) Kluck (prop wash) OVO Nation (NaCL) Ovo Rosarius Equilibrio (me) Poulet Fabrikk (me) Roostersand (me) Uovo Testamento (earworm) :wumpscluck: (def funkist)

How did no one come up with Sex Gang Chicken? Or Chicken On Stun. Chicken of Bodom (not goth/industrial, sue me).

Edit: Eggcessory. Eggcessive Force. We left so much on the table.

For some reason I couldn’t stop thinking about this, so I had ChatGPT write the article that I dreamed about.

Prompt:

Write a newspaper article about a novel sport called "zagman" where the goal is to stand completely still for as long as possible. Include a few quotes from the athletes about the challenges of the sport.

Response:

"Zagman: The New Sport Sweeping the Nation where Standing Still is the Name of the Game"

A new sport has been gaining popularity in recent years and it's unlike any other - the goal is to stand completely still for as long as possible. Dubbed as "Zagman", the sport has been capturing the attention of audiences and athletes alike with its unique and challenging concept.

Zagman requires participants to stand in a designated area without moving a muscle. Sounds easy, right? Think again. Athletes have to endure pain, discomfort, and mental exhaustion as they try to maintain their balance and remain still for as long as they can. The current world record for Zagman is held by Sarah Johnson, who stood still for an impressive 8 hours and 15 minutes.

"Zagman is not just about standing still, it's about mental and physical endurance," says Sarah. "It's a test of your willpower, as well as your balance and posture. The longer you stand, the more difficult it becomes."

Another athlete, Mark Smith, also weighed in on the challenges of the sport. "It's a constant battle between your mind and your body," he says. "Your body is begging you to move, but you have to find a way to push through the discomfort and stay still."

Zagman is not just a test of physical strength, but also of mental fortitude. Participants have to remain focused and calm in order to overcome the distractions and temptations that come with standing still for extended periods of time. "It's a true test of mental toughness," says Johnson. "You have to remain focused and find a way to block out the distractions and negative thoughts."

Despite the challenges, Zagman has been gaining a huge following and has even been added as an official sport in several international competitions. The sport has even been credited with promoting mindfulness and improving physical and mental health, with many participants reporting reduced stress levels and improved posture.

"Zagman is more than just a sport, it's a lifestyle," says Smith. "It has taught me the power of mental discipline and how to find peace and balance in stillness."

I don’t know, man. This just happened somehow.

Dub Jay is now directly responsible for our last two Slack punfests.

You know the drill.

It’s been a while since the last Telekon pun party, but today, this image kicked one off:

Ah Farmer-Cropz (danger.octopus)

Canola Jesus (purplepolecat)

Chrome Crops (danger.octopus)

Combinechrist (Maximum Performance Music)

Dairy of Dreams (danger.octopus)

Dead Corn Dance (NaCl)

Die Crops (danger.octopus)

Farmer Vogt (Maximum Performance Music)

Farmvred (danger.octopus)

Fed When I Found Herd (MojoJojo)

Fresh Field (Cryounit)

The Grain Within (purplepolecat)

Hay Dept. (me)

House of Farm (me)

Icon of Soil (danger.octopus)

iFarminghere (danger.octopus)

Juno Tractor (purplepolecat)

Merzplow (Teknohed)

MiracleGro Facility (ohrwurm)

Nine Inch Bales (Lockhart)

Plowhaus (purplepolecat)

She Pasture Away (danger.octopus)

Shut Up and Furrow (Teknohed)

Seeding (Cryounit)

Soy Division (Maximum Performance Music)

Stromcorn (evinrude)

Tilling Joke (me)