Quacker

Millions of meaningless questions are staring at me from the abyss

Of boredom. "What are your interests, hobbies, wishes for life?"

Writing like this makes me and myself strife.

Do I say this to be "different"? Because I'm not one of "those"?

I want more than that, express myself, in a way that lets my soul expose

Itself. To keep my sanity, to keep me alive, prevent me from just existing, to just survive.

Came across a topic generator, asked him: "What should I write?"

It went like it always does when I do that: I don't cite.

I shuffle until I like the answer, then I only go with parts of it,

deforming the advice until in splinters it's split.

Is it good or bad now you may ask, what does it tell about me?

That I judge all the thoughtless things to say only to do the same, am I this carefree?

Does it make the topic generator of no use anymore?

Does all of this bore you to a degree that you might snore

At this point? Are these questions any better than those which I judged at the start?

The only thing I can give myself credit for is: "Hey, it's art."

Let's finally move on to the topic that was picked for this letter:

"Personal hell/Personal heaven" (sorry, I swear it was one of the better

Results.)

Personal hell probably is, when my way

is prepared for me, if I get no say

in what to do. If I have to submit to anyone,

my right to speak up, to feel, to be is taken away, if I have none.

Almost like a topic generator telling me what to type you might interpose,

"It's not like that, I still take part and compose

These words by myself."

Personal heaven probably is calmness. Being with my dearest baby, namely, my cat, in peace,

but it's not as easy as that, I have to cease.

Also achievements, goals I made it to, out of own strength, against my fears,

for which I gave my blood, my sweat and my tears

Reward me. The pain, the ache I went through in action

returns double to me as euphoria and satisfaction.

Maybe I like the calm after the storm,

"I made it!", I can take care of me, keep myself safe and warm.

What does this tell about me? Is my primary characteristic being contradictorily?

Or asking strange questions, unpredictably like the deepest point of deep sea?

Now what is the use of all this, the random mashup of words?