Kaichou

Sometime I feel really useless since I can't do anything. There's no job that I can withsand. Like I work 2 different job with each job a month. Am I the problem here? Sometime, I feel like I don't deserve to live. Me too, I also want to repay my parents. I also want to be successful like my fellow friends. It nothing grand. I want a stable job. A nice 9-5. I really envy my eldest sibling who work with children. Not that they get to work/play with children but that theh got loke 2 days off at the weekend. My mom also since she work with children too. I don't think I'm capable working shift hours. Like there's morning shift or nigh shift. It really exausht my mind and body. I want a stable job where I knew just how much I get for a month. Not that the one where I depend on how much the sale for the day. Just why am I not capable of learning in college like my other friends. I envy them, in a good way. They got the brain, the motivation to do it. Where I don't. I really feel I'm useless.

This is the only place where no one know me and there's no one I know here. If someone just stumble upon this. If you would like to hear me out. You can send me a message💜

I really need someone to talk to. I don't know how to cooe with this feeling. Everything I feel is just like an excuses. I'm scared and stress to think about it. I'm on verge of crying. I really don't know what to do