Happiness, Sort of.

She’s not the type of girl you’re used to… and you’re not quite sure if you like it or not. She’s not easy to get to know. She’s guarded and closed off… anything even slightly personal is harder to get to than Fort Knox. With her – it’s always one step forwards and two steps back and it’s SO frustrating… But you think maybe you kind of like it… because when you see those little glimpses of her you know you’re probably the only person who ever has. She can’t be charmed… she’s not that type of girl. She manages to twist your compliments into insults or downplay them into jokes, and again… it’s so frustrating!!! Why can’t she believe that you like her!? Why can’t she just accept that she’s beautiful? She can’t be bought because again… she’s not that type of girl. Jewelry, flowers, gifts… none of it interests her and she gets angry if you try it. She seems to think it’s effortless, and to her credit she’s kind of right… you’re simply repeating the same rehearsed steps to try and make her like you that you did with every other girl… and it won’t work… because she’s not like other girls. She’s demure yet provocative… She runs hot and cold… She’s self-conscious, but also self-assured… In fact, she’s just about every contradiction you can possibly think of and yet you’re somehow addicted to this roller coaster ride because you know that even when she’s being the complete opposite of herself she’s still the most ‘real’ woman you think you’ve ever met and you just want to get to know her more. You want to see all of her… get inside her mind… know everything there is to know about her… But she won’t let you. She’s not that type of girl. And when the day comes to let her go and kiss her goodbye forever, you can tell she wants to cry… But she won’t… because she’s not that type of girl. She never was. She never will be… And that’s exactly what you loved about her most.

People always tend to let you down. That’s why I try not to need anything from anyone.

I hope that someday, somebody wants to hold you for twenty minutes straight, and that’s all they do. They don’t pull away. They don’t look at your face. They don’t try to kiss you. All they do is wrap you up in their arms, without an ounce of selfishness in it.

I'm Okay

I like being alone. Therefore, in order to win me over, your presence has to feel better than solitude.

I want you to remember who you are, despite the bad things that are happening to you. Because those bad things aren’t you. They are just things that happen to you. You need to accept that who you are and the things that happen you, are not one and the same.

I want to travel, to visit new places, to take good pictures, to feel free, to feel happy.