everyday is all there is

I know in my soul that there’s a little G+R carved into the trunk of the biodome tree and written in sharpie on the walls of the hail mary and traced into the sand on grace’s beach even though the waves will wipe it clear soon enough. there are hand and claw prints peppered all over the cliff face. on the ship, there are still fingerprint smudges on the xenonite partitions

While I appreciate the utter freakery of Grocky, I think what struck me and stuck with me so deeply about the strange fuckers in the first place was the fact that the entire narrative held space for friendship. Unlikely, messy, crazy, soulmate-y, fucked-up, bickery friendship. For once, a friendship saved the world. You're allowed to live and die and breathe and sleep and wake for a friend. A friend is allowed to be the single person you love most in the world. We've lost so much to romanticisation (not the concept, but the literal need for every single meaningful bond to be romantic). The fact that Project Hail Mary was about two people who love each other beyond any sort of rhyme or reason, who are so completely different yet fundamentally the same, who are willing to put their lives down for each other despite knowing what responsibilities they have to billions of people otherwise, because, genuinely, fuck the world(s) if the other person's not in them. Grace and Rocky are best friends, and they're weird about each other, and they'd kill for each other, and they'll ream each other out properly, and they observe each other like animals, and they feel like everything that has ever happened in their lives (in the history of their species) has led to them meeting, and all of this is something that they feel for a friend. And you're allowed to, too. Just so you know.

YOU SHAVED THEM?!?

Rereading famiresu iko for the first time with the knowledge that satomi likes kyouji makes you sympathize so much with satomi. Your dream is to live a completely normal life and you're doing your shitty classes with a shitty part time job in your shitty seppuku-themed apartment. And you have a crush on the 45 year old yakuza that you imprinted on when you were in middle school. Absolute misery. Kinda like the stomachache I have rn.

The other day my wife told me about this influencer who said she needed to go on ozempic so she could go from 130 lbs down to 115 and I really cannot stress the degree to which we have so COMPLETELY lost the plot with this glp1 shit. Like not only are people are going on this shit for purely cosmetic purposes, the cosmetic purposes are delusional. This is the kind of mindset that gives people eating disorders but now because you can get a prescription instead of having to starve yourself or enduce vomiting a big swath of the general public seems eager to go along with it. Body Positivity did not go fucking far enough because I am being so real when I say that fatphobia is more of a public health crisis than obesity has ever been

We need to stop men from making things for at least 70 years

just jokingly thought "it's so ableist to make me work during a flare up" and then stopped what I was doing and just stood there for a second because. yeah. that's. that's ableism man. you shouldn't have to work during flare ups. that's just. a true fact.

found a bunch of erotica books to add to the gay scifi database today and realized there seems to be a significant spike in those starting in 1969. which confused me for a minute but then i remembered: moon landing

1969 is such a funny year to look at in the database. its like. gay erotica. gay erotica. gay erotica. timeless classic the left hand of darkness by ursula k. le guin. lesbian separatist novel. gay erotica

I love being alone <- girl who has known nothing but loneliness her entire life and so has no choice but to take comfort in it