hell-bent on slipping away

“Freedom always has a price.”

- despite Bianca being an anatomically accurate sex doll, Lars never touches her or even looks at her with any sort of sexual intent. There's something deeply soothing and comforting about the way he treats her and looks at her. (I think reading Lars as asexual is honestly a really good way to look at his character too. I feel like having no interest in sex makes it hard for people to connect with their partner, especially if that partner is allo. Lars never seems interested in his coworkers porno talk at work, he never talks about or really views Bianca as anything sexual, he never entertains or answers questions about Bianca and him that are sexual in nature, and when he's asking Gus what made him finally feel like a man, he asks almost hesitantly- like he doesn't want to- if it was sex.)

- Lars does not like to be touched. He's working on it as the movie goes on, but it's something that never gets fully "fixed", and I don't think it does even in the future. I'm sure it gets better, gets less painful for him, but I don't think he'd enjoy hugs or prolonged touch anyways. Idk something about Lars constantly backing away from people who get too close to him, constantly trying to remove himself from other people in his personal space- it just feels really good to see. I'm sure this is something that made a lot of people feel sad for him, but honestly it's just comforting to me.

- the whole bowling scene. It was just Lars and Margo- until the group arrived and I was a little scared they'd be mean, but no. They just join the two and they all have fun. There's high fives when someone manages to get a good throw, but Lars is never forced or pressured to share a high five. Besides just that, he's there with them, and he's not forced into the conversation, but he's included and welcome. Him tearing up in this scene was so beautiful.

- Gus trying to do better. He's a fucking asshole at the start of the movie, but he learns. He's feeling guilty, thinking it's his fault that Lars is delusional, but eventually still goes out of his way to help and learn. He learns the difference between delusions and hallucinations, and he talks about it at work, knowing there's a big chance his coworkers will mock him, like they've done in a previous scene.

- the older ladies chasing Gus and Karin out of the house to spend some time with Lars. The scene is so simple it's almost painful. They bring him food. They knit and chat while he just sits with them. They tell him not to worry about anything, to just eat his food and relax a little.

and it's not just that he doesn't want karin to die. he also knows what happens to the man that gets left behind. he was the one who got stuck with dad when gus left home. with a grieving dad who didn't know how to be a father anymore. lars doesn't want gus to become their father. and he doesn't want the baby to go through what lars went through.