FAKE TALES FROM THALES UNI.

honestly, i’m sure i’ve made it known but i’m quite a fan of our local romancer leonardo ramos. every time i overhear a conversation, he seems to be flirting with someone new and putting on his best face forward, i’d love to watch it crack. honestly all of the ghoul gang members capture my attention and i wonder if they’ve actually gathered any noteworthy information that could blow the ceiling off of this school or if they’ve just been fucking around for the last few years. eden’s a bit of a fire cracker so i’ll never actually be opposed to seeing more of her. i haven’t been able to make a complete grasp of lyta though i do think she has the potential to bring some drama. casper definitely also comes to mind because of his connection with nana... which i still haven’t been able to figure out WHY they dated ?? casper’s a good looking dude but he seems like the kind of person nana would chew up and spit back out. then again, he’s sus so... vote him out? 

oh, this is almost TOO easy . so first of all , i’d put worm and felix together. let’s be real , we know the only two relevant bands at thales university are the definition of turbulent and i’d love to see just what would happen if you put them both in a room. secondly, dakota and ilka come to mind. this isn’t drama driven but rather just because i think they’d make good friends; dakota is ... dakota and ilka seems to be a bit of a sweetheart but who better than a ghoul gang member to tell dear ol’ ilka that the school she’s attending is known for having a murderer that either could be on the loose or is one of their classmates as well as two known missing people. lastly, milo and carter. i haven’t seen their faces around as much as i’d like to but i get the impression they’d either LOVE each other, or hate each other, maybe a bit of both so i think it’d be fun to watch it unravel.

i think that’s a bit of a reach , hon . it’s one thing if their names are similar and they acted exactly the same but up until recently, clarissa was just as much as a golden girl as steven was a golden boy. clara and clarissa, while having similar sounding names, were never really alike . you also can’t help who you fall in love with , or what their names are . i mean , didn’t taylor swift date a fucking taylor ?? it happens . 

i definitely DISAGREE about nate , clarissa , or clara needing ANY sort of romance right now . if anything , they need to hook up with people and get their mind OFF of what’s happening; the love of another won’t fix shit . as for flings though . . . dakota . i am ONCE AGAIN begging somebody to break her fucking heart . jd seems like he’d the perfect kind of person to cozy up with by the fire so somebody better snag their man quick before i do it myself . casper deserves it ; i think it’s been long enough after nana for him to be able to go and smooch some bitch under the mistletoe without an issue .  also , again , lundy as i’d love to see if her cold exterior could get melted away and a winter fling sounds like the perfect way to do it. also , again , marco . somebody give my himbo LOVE damnit. 

really though , you should ALL find someone to kiss at midnight , it’ll make my job more fun.

god, are you guys ever not horny ?? pornhub is literally a click away . anyways , elias for . . . obvious reasons . sylvain & leo , because you don’t become a thot doing vanilla shit that’s for sure ! i feel like milo might have some weird shit hiding in his closet , also vienna comes across as someone who’d be down to tie you up which is awful but i’m intrigued. clarissa’s a closet freak without a doubt who’s starting to come out like a butterfly exitting a cocoon and well.. eden’s eden, so. maybe angelika as well . ..  they’re so classy that i almost wonder if they’re the one doing the dark betty, putting on some ugly cheap wig and making you call them things in bed. who knows !

i’m honestly not under the impression that he did ?? you guys . . . did meet steven , right ?? he was literally so fucking obnoxious about his stupid moral codes . i’m pretty sure he literally ratted people out for planning a party in plato hall once to celebrate the football team winning a championship. if anyone’s gonna cheat , it wouldn’t be him . 

if anything , i think clarissa would of been the unfaithful one of that relationship , but that’s just me . if you’re with the same guy for years who always is the one coming out on top , i imagine it gets frustrating and i wonder what there relationship was actually like behind closed doors . it couldn’t ALL be sunshine and flowers . 

YEAH , they are . what do you want me to do with this information though ?? like , ahaha , sawyer , does your mom peg ?? we’re not that awful . 

i despise you all . anyways so i want it to be known first that i think pip, mali, and eden could singlehandedly peg every person on campus without an issue but i’ll humor you.

i’d pair felix with pip, on the grounds of ex best friends of currently missing girls could probably peg their siblings without there being any issues. 

elias can go with eden since i think they’d both be kind of freaky and honestly i’m not sure i’m legally allowed to let just anyone go off with elias.

nick needs someone mature like he likes to act like he is . . . do you think the dean pegs ?? 

worm can get with someone on their own level so i’m gonna hand them off to mali though i do feel like this would make for a genuinely awful pairing. though, what’s the fun in things that actually feel right ??

and lastly, marco needs someone who can treat him RIGHT so i’m gonna say edie as i think she’d be the type to cradle your face while she does it and read your mind to get it just right, which is exactly the kind of soft core romance i think our boy needs. 

hmm , non , i’m getting the impression that you know more than you’re letting on . is there someone little nate is having some conflicts with that i don’t know ?? i haven’t seen any oil spilling into the water though i do wonder if the angel situation could affect nate’s relationship with elias , though that feels like too low hanging of fruit . c’mon , what’s the stich ??

okay well, i guess i’ll FUCK clarissa since honestly i suspect steven probably wasnt that good at doing that . i’ll marry pip because honestly she already owns my heart and i won’t kill dakota but instead i’d kiss her: once . she’d never be able to stop thinking about it and she’d never be able to talk to me again because i’d ghost her . after all , somebody’s gotta break her heart !

this is the THIRD ASK we’ve gotten about pegging . are you guys okay ?? do you have some NEEDS you need fulfilled ?? anyways so felix because they definitely got something stuck up their ass so maybe a good pegging will help, i think elias gets them on the regular but if he doesn’t get his tuesday night peg sesh, his tweets end up being about how many barbies he can fit in his ass and i’m not quite ready to subscribe to buttplay weekly. nick also comes to mind; i swear all i see him do is sit in that dusty library and i imagine that’ll make you start to go crazy without some action every now and again. worm also might need it because they... also seem so fucking wound UP like can someone please fuck these people until they just shut up ?? i’m begging. lastly, marco, because himbos need to be pegged too damnit. 

honestly usually i’m a bitch about my opinions but i think he’s fine ?? he seems like one of those nerdy jocks in a way, like doesn’t he fuckin’ watch anime or something ?? he seems like he’s really well meaning so far and i’m pretty sure he’s on our school football team, so hey, what’s not to love ?? 

of course, that’s not interesting, even if he’s a bit of a charmer. think someone can drag him into some drama during this trip ?? 

wow , you KNOW i favor the ladies and theybies , don’t you ?? so for starters , they’re all hot but that’s a given. lundy seems like a bit of a sharp edge but i’m quite interested to see if there’s some hidden softness underneath like there always is with those bitches, or if it’s just more pins and needles. eden is fucking hysterical and honestly probably the baddest bitch here and i’ll die on that hill, nobody could light a candle to her and we all just have to accept it. edie, on the otherhand, is kind of adorable though almost creepy in her own way; i think she ABSOLUTELY knows what i’m thinking at all times but i don’t know if i trust her too much yet and lastly, mali’s just pretty loud and while she can be just as hysterical as eden though on a... different side of that humor, her loudness makes me think she’s kinda like, what you see is what you get. i’d love to see if there’s some sort of hidden sensitivity beneath her being the loudest person here or if my observations are true. who knows though!

FINALLY , some good fuckin’ food !! so i think clara should just get laid in general ; she’s been through so much and baby girl has resorted to being a pyromaniac when she could just . . . get laid . dakota too , though i’d love to see her hook up with sylvain or leo or mali as i feel like one of them would break her heart and i’m feeling kind of mean tonight . felix and edie too as there’s just . . . a shit ton of tension and i’m sure having sex would even that all out , yea ?? though edie and pip might be hot together too , not like sex wise but just as a power couple so concepts , concepts . . . also leo and digby as i think whores will always get each other. yves could like . . . get it too but i’m sure they’d easily have a line of people ready for them. i’m sure i can think of more but this is a good handful , yeah ??