I am thinking a lot about how Ai Di is wearing a collar and a chain and a rainbow sweater while he declares his love for Chenyi and acts on his love in a moment that he knows is wrong but also believes is the end to everything they've ever had because his true final act of love is to leave. His final act of love is to leave Chenyi behind after doing something unforgivable.
(The embrace, the colors around them and on their skin, etched into them, becoming part of them. That Ai Di is still wearing red pants in this scene and then wearing red pants when he gets out of prison and it's the same thing, it's chaos and brilliance and love and knowing that he cannot have what he wants or wishes and then he cries onto Chenyi and it's only when he cries that Chenyi comes to life because he is crying for both of them and for what he's doing and for the future he can never have and for their brotherhood that he feels he's betrayed for his love.)
Still in rainbows. Still in his collar and his chain. And now he's giving up his life for the sake of letting Chenyi be free, of giving him freedom and of knowing that what he did when he was drunk was wrong.
It's a repayment that means it's all over, this is the end for Ai Di because he cannot forgive himself and he cannot get over his love and he can never, ever ask Chenyi to forgive him for what he did and so he is going to renounce every single bit of it, he's doing to let go of every single thing that shaped him and become whoever he is meant to be without that.
Ai Di loves Chenyi and believes that Chenyi could never love him back except as brothers and so he cannot do anything except try to give up. Try to move on. And he expects Chenyi to do the same thing. He expects Chenyi to say good riddance to him.
But isntead Chenyi shows up to take him back and doesn't take no for an answered, doesn't stop, just grabs him and picks him up again and again and takes him away with him because for Chenyi he's had four years to wonder and four years to change and four years of wanting to understand.
So much black and Ai Di is a brilliant pop of color in the middle. He is always the pop of color in the darkness and even in the sunlight he stands out so much, so bright and brilliant and present.
(Chenyi wants to know so much and cannot let go and he loves Ai Di but now he has to convince him to come back to him because they've each had four years to consider the future and make choices and they made very different choices.)
Chenyi made Ai Di bright and spicy food, all the colors and all the heat because he needs to know but also because he loves. Chenyi has missed his bright colors and everything Ai Di brings to his life.
(Ai Di assumes every question Chenyi asks is about sex but I think, frankly, Chenyi is asking more about why he left than why they fucked. Because he has spent four years worrying and missing and loving and he doesn't want to keep doing that. He wants to know why Ai Di did that and then left him.
Because Ai Di was never supposed to leave him.)
The shock on his face when Ai Di mentioned the idea of revenge, like it never even crossed his mind? Because it probably never did.
Ai Di went to prison but he want to go take care of Zongyi and look out for his friend. But Chenyi stayed on the outside and he realized that he wasn't in love with the man he thought he was, that he loved the one person who had left him, the one person who left him after he said he never would.
(Tiny note, the red on his shirt is over his stomach and the first thing he does is try to win Ai Di's heart through his stomach and @respectthepetty I am thinking far, far too deeply.)
Bright lights and lots of color all around them but, in this shot, they're both in black and the light barely touches them. The light is pure white and brilliant and it's blinding. They're trapped in that light, too seen and yet unable to see.
Chenyi is trying so hard not to let go, to keep Ai Di, to give him every excuse in the book to stay and I think that if Ai Di just stopped trying to leave Chenyi would accept anything he said because he doesn't know how to let go.
And the most heartbroken face when Chenyi pulls away from him again, when he leaves again, when he refuses to explain anything or to stay with him and just keeps trying to get away from him because he truly believes that Chenyi shouldn't forgive him for what he did and that there's no way Chenyi loves him or ever loved him that way he loves him.
But Ai Di in blue? Already got his hair back to blonde but he's still in blue and Chenyi is in black and white but the lights around them are red again, lighting them both the same way.
They need to communicate but neither of them knows how because they've spent a lifetime communicating without having to talk and now they need to actually talk.
They were brothers. They relied on each other. They knew each other so well they could fight without even looking. All their communication was natural and now they need to fight that and actually speak to each other, to understand each other, to make themselves be vulnerable because that is the only way they can get past this.
They can do it. The red light promises that they can. But right now they're on very, very different pages.