STEP 1 — DECAY.

001.  /     the other side of paradise  —  glass animals. 002.  /     ghosting  —  mother mother. 003.  /     eat  —  jack conte. 004.  /     animal impulses  —  iamx. 005.  /     btstu  —  jai paul. 006.  /     body  —  mother mother. 007.  /     everybody wants to rule the world  —  tears for fears. 008.  /     touch-tone telephone  —  lemon demon. 009.  /     sprawling idiot effigy  —  nero’s day at disneyland. 010.  /     action winter journey  —  nero’s day at disneyland.

promo created by traidere.

enzi’s fashion sense is along the line of semi-formal street fashion.  he enjoys being flashy  ,  but there is no reason to be flashy if there isn’t actual style backing it up.  thus  ,  he enjoys styles that allow for a great amount of self projection and customization  —  as well as the ability to try new  ,  experimental styles and fabric.he’s pretty minimalist with his comfort clothing  ,  a nice sweater and jeans.  his favorite comfy outfit is a jurassic park long-sleeve and ripped skinny jeans.enzi is old-school with formal attire.  a nice  ,  neutral colored suit  —  ironed and tailored to his specific body shape.  he puts a lot of work into looking good.

there is a special type of rage that enzi sets aside for the events that led up to his resurrection  ,  a hatred that boils his blood and drives him close to a meltdown.  you see , enzi sees himself as a victim to both human-caused apathy  ,  and deity apathy.  to be slowly coming into your own  ,  to finally see the future has a beacon of hope  /  rather than dread  —  only to be killed by the pure apathy of a heartless driver.  all of your work  ,  all of your obstacles and victories become nothing more than actions completed in vain.  you never got to the point you wanted to  ,  you never fulfilled your dreams or felt comfortable as who you were.  you simply lay on the road and wait for death to stop the clock on your battered body.what do you get in return for this heartbreak  ?  this horrific situation that destroyed everything you hoped for and worked for ?you are sent to purgatory.now  ,  purgatory is far different in my characterization of the big three of western religion.  it’s meant to represent the experience of being jewish in a christian  ,  antisemitic society.  for enzi  ,  it is the pure isolation one experiences when they are non-white  ,  gay  ,  trans  ,  and jewish  —  an isolation i share with him.it is a simple room  ,  with a chair.  that is all there is for you  ,  while you wait for anything.  seven years enzi sat in that room  ,  with no stimuli except for white walls and a wooden chair to keep him grounded to reality.  did he know what he was waiting for  ?  did he know why he was here  ?  did he know who or what placed him in this situation  ?no.  those questions never got a sufficient answer.  so there he sat  ,  for seven years before his rage boiled over into holy retribution against the g-d that seemingly abandoned him  —  for the humanity he was no longer given and the apathy of this universe.   he tore through reality itself  ,  spanning across the infinite vectors of conceptual consciousness itself  —  and broke away from purgatory.

truly     ,    enzi maalouf was left in 1996.     what are you now     ?

enzi’s tastes are rather varied     ,     he never sticks with just one genre.     his favorite genres are cowboy western     ,     psychedelic rock     ,     dark techno     ,     crust punk     ,     and 80′s top 100.     cowboy western obviously comes from his childhood living in louisiana. 

          sadly     ,     most of enzi’s coping is rather maladaptive.     creating strange personal rules to live his life through     ,     and refusing to look deeper into the experiences that caused him to become this new being all together.     he refuses to acknowledge his trauma     ,     for he is plagued by the idea that he is weak if he gives his issues any attention.          enzi’s hobbies are quite varied     ,     from painting to dancing     ,     he is an artistic person by heart.      he loves being able to create     ,     with several of his paintings hanging in his room as well as sketchbooks filled completely with sketches and doodles.his biggest triggers are cars     ,     sound of metal crushing     ,     and graveyards.     he refuses to speak about them unless you are intensely close to him.

enzi is a ghoul , a being that survives upon human flesh. while he still retains his humanity and personality — having to eat human flesh can change someone quite a bit. thus , enzi believes he is forgiven for his cannibalism if he chooses to kill and eat horrible people. abusers, sexual criminals, etc etc. this is another scenario where enzi creates rules for himself to lessen the trauma and pain he feels.