corazón de un león

I am that clumsy human, always loving, loving, loving. And loving. And never leaving.

I am like a pile of bones lying on the floor, and no one knows this except me. I am like a broken skeleton with a beating heart.” He said slowly with a heaviness floating through his words, and at that moment I knew that I desperately wanted to save him. But I also knew that we can’t save people, we can only one love them. But, was I ready to love him? Was I ready to throw my heart towards him once again, knowing that he won’t ever catch it. Even after all these years, I still loved him. And, I wanted, i truly wanted to pick up his bones and fix them together. I wanted to stitch him a flesh so strong that he would never feel this again. Wrapped in awe, I looked at him, his face surrounded by terror, his eyes speaking of the wars he lost, his lips trembling, his body tightened by fear. I realized, he was afraid too, he was afraid that he shouldn’t have told me. I suddenly felt wounded. I was wounded in his battle. I loved someone who could never love me back. I wanted to tell him, but I simply couldn’t. Because loving him was a luxury I always dreamed of. And, I was happy with that. So, I replied, “I know how you feel.” and walked silently with him in the shadow of the moonlight to a place I didn’t want to go. For I loved him, and sadly I still do.

I’ve always envied people who sleep easily. Their brains must be cleaner, the floorboards of the skull well swept, all the little monsters closed up in a steamer trunk at the foot of the bed.

i am missing something or somebody but i don’t know what or who it is maybe i am missing a feeling or a thought or myself

I enjoy controlled loneliness. I like wandering around the city alone. I’m not afraid of coming back to an empty flat and lying down in an empty bed. I’m afraid of having no one to miss, of having no one to love.

My only relief is to sleep. When I’m sleeping, I’m not sad, I’m not angry, I’m not lonely, I’m nothing.

Respect is one of the greatest expressions of love.

We need to move away from this constant need of coming across as calm, cool and collected. We weren’t built to be calm, cool, and collected. If we were, it wouldn’t feel so exhausting all the time. It would, you know, come naturally to us. You know what comes naturally to human beings though? Being open, being messy, being raw, being unfiltered, having lots of feelings. Why should we have to stifle our true nature? Let’s go after the things we want, let’s love each other brutally and honestly, and not worry about the consequences. Let’s release the feelings inside of us and let them land somewhere special. Otherwise, we might have a lifetime of longing in front of us.

The poison leaves bit by bit, not all at once. Be patient. You are healing.

I’ll be honest with you. I’m a little bit of a loner. It’s been a big part of my maturing process to learn to allow people to support me. I tend to be very self-reliant and private. And I have this history of wanting to work things out on my own and protect people from what’s going on with me.

i am afraid that if i open myself i will not stop pouring. (why do i fear becoming a river. what mountain gave me such shame.)