purp

there should be a critic's cut that's just Iron Lung but ever 30 seconds it plays a clip of Markiplier going "jingle jangle jingle" with his keys

"unalived" "🍇" "graped" MUDERED RAPE KILLED OH MY FUCKING GOD JUST SAY IT STOP CENSORING YOURSELF STOPSTOSPTOPSTOP

The most boring thing you can think of is that Ted Wheeler is a useless dad when in reality he just gets the sleepies after work. Apparently, he's not allowed to he tired but Karen's allowed to flirt with an 18-year-old racist child abuser. He might not be perfect but on his worst day, he's tired from providing for his family and occasionally puts his foot in his mouth because social cues are hard for him. Honestly, I'd be a little depressed and apathetic if everyone hates me for no goddamn reason. I don't hate either one of them, but fuck, I am so tired of Karen getting all the fucking praise when Ted tried to help his family, too. It's a two-way street, Karen and Ted both chose this life. They're both too afraid to admit they're not in love with each other. There doesn't have to be a bad guy in this situation, not for either of them. Ted has tried to help his kids but you know who got in the way? Karen. Again, though, there doesn't have to be a bad guy here. It's two people struggling to deal with an unhappy marriage and they'd be better people if they just got a divorce. It would be better for their family.

Ted was actually really patient and understanding. If I asked for the bacon I paid for and by the time it got to me it was all gone, I would have bitten a person. He underreacted, if you ask me.