perspective

"I'm not in a hurry when it comes to your spirit when it comes to your presence when it comes to your voice I'm learning to listen, just to rest in your nearness I'm starting to notice You are speaking. I want to love like You."

to see the change in me in us in all that we are finite beings in an eternal timeline that we have seen so little and know so little and can do so little but we can overcome dark with light we can push to see more and know more and do more and take steps towards love and peace and patience and kindness and goodness and faithfulness and self-control that we would care the way that God would that we would open our hearts to treat others better and how we promise we will to commit to empathy to dive deep into sanctification to jump higher because there is no better time to be better.

This is my family A wealth of knowledge that  taught my brain to dance Even though Mom can’t properly pronounce pineapple and Dad is more curious about what I’m eating for lunch. On a thermostat, we’d all be a 95 degree hot day,  melting chocolate on our tongues Strolling in flip-flops in our perfect OC lives 5 years old in pink overalls A delightful day at the beach and a walk to the pizza parlor Travelling from city to city like a lemur And I’d grow tired on our trips and  Dad would carry me in from the car, sleeping They are my foundation My forever teachers.

The buzz saw snarled it was the trick again Me in the box A circus person, a show human, an actress, a prop Why would I care? It’s for the “oohs” and “ahs” they say But I care as that saw fires up And I am in pieces This is me everyday I am two, three, four pieces of me A woman, a prop in a man’s show Vying for the applause of people I’ve never met Gaining validation through tricks he can pull But I am more than their acceptance  I am more than pieces I am a whole person I control this show All is riding on my body, my heart, my soul I have the power to be put back together on my own accord I don’t need to grab a man’s hand to help me climb out of my boxes This is my trick, my work; why would I care? Because I am a woman, damn it But all the men keep saying, “Somebody ought to examine my head!”

I remember you in blues sparkling with light Telling me it's okay, I am home now A gentle, warm smile each time I came back You knew me in a trying time, a bitter time, a confused one; I was growing up You knew me when I succeeded And you showed me how to get back up when I failed You watched me cry at the tables by the cliff You gave me flowers after I went for a jog I'm sorry I left after so long, so short now that I realize it Here, you meant the world to me Away, I'm over you My sun, my moon, my stars, my hope My youth, my adulthood My fears, my triumphs I learned to ride above your waves Talk your talk And see and understand and know a light that never goes out

When you dive too deep into your idols, you are nothing more than a reflection of cheap thrills and temporary highs. You emulate what you surround yourself with. You become more like the things you seek passion from. You take from those you follow. You become a plastic reconstruction of something that was already made. Why not create yourself?

It's hard to find someone who gets it. Does anyone really? Get it, I mean. Because I don't fully. But I know that it's important. Wake the hell up.

Life is a strange series of bills I'm not sure about paying.