a moment of silence.

Yep, been a fuckin while.

4/19/26 - 4th gwar show in the books. Should’ve been the 5th as I had a show the day before too but I have had this cold making me feel terrible so I unfortunately skipped it. Glad I held it together for this one though. Even left with a guitar pic. Couldn’t be more thrilled.

A neat hotel mirror. Or, mirrors I guess.

Boston knows what I’ve got.

Would I do it again? Not likely. But it was definitely a memorable experience.

Over the years, I’d say I’ve said enough. I don’t think there’s much else left that comes from to the front of my mind worth talking about.

Just some late night in LA in January. What’s up you less than handful of people.

10/18/25 - thought I’d try something new. I have been listening to scar sighted again a lot lately, and the opportunity came along to have Jef whitehead himself give me the tattoo. So here we are.

15 years later.

February 2024, my heart shattered. Baby passed away that month. Often called Mr baby once he passed 5 years old. You know how sometimes you just start calling your pets something & it sticks? Well, that did. A lot of people met or saw my boy via livestreams, or even on FaceTime calls. He was always by my side. There for everything. Great days, hard days, game days, no matter what. He just wanted to be by his dad. I may not have always been the best to him but he was with me, through and through. The most loving anyone could’ve ever been. Just shy of 12 years old, when I wish it could’ve been longer. I will always love you, Mr baby. A lot of people loved you.

April 2023 was a hard time as well. Our boy, itty, passed away. He was around 11 years old. Our loving, angry faced boy. I can’t tell you how much I miss getting home seeing him sitting looking mad as ever & asking “what’s up, itty?” To him usually giving one meow in response. Picking him up carrying him around like a big baby. Warms my heart talking about him again & watching this clip. He was one to enjoy belly rubs like a dog but of course in this moment, he remembered he was a cat after all. One of the best. Handsome angry little itty.

2023 was a promising year for me. It was the year I finally stepped foot into a new job, leaving the last one of 11 years behind. I hated that environment for so long, but..what’s the word I’m looking for?..settled. Yes, I settled. Sulking, but getting by. I needed something better, but didn’t have the drive to find it. It’s harder to leave something you don’t want that sucks the life out of you than I had thought it was. You don’t really know til it’s happening to you. 11 years. I wanted out by year 4. 11 fucking years. August 25th was the day I finally left for something new. Not on bad terms either, I did it properly. Got the opportunity for something new, and accepted the offer. Gave my two weeks, finished what I had to, and left quietly. Like anything, I will miss the connections I had made that I liked. I didn’t even really announce it, but it spread & the ones who cared about me showed it both in shock, and by writing a card saying they’ll miss me. I made a quick round saying my goodbye after 2 people came to my desk with that card. And with nervousness for something new, not with an entirely heavy heart, that was it. With no time for a break, I went to something new. A very different change of pace. It is a physically demanding place with a lot of overtime, and night shift. Personally, I love the hour change. I’ve always hated mornings. Waking up mid day and working through the quiet of night is a cozy experience. Starting my day as everyone’s is ending, and heading home with a free drive and a quiet mind has been wonderful

It’s been a long time. Of course I still think about coming back here, but time and energy aren’t as available as I’d like them to be. That and I have lost the flow of being able to let out words the way I used to. The ability to feel so open & express whatever I wanted had gotten tainted over the years via people I’ve met, and trusted, only to use what I vent about as dirt on me, and to be harmful in that regard. So I have mostly shut off. Of course the ones I care for will still hear whatever, whenever. I don’t understand people. Never have, never will. But there’s no need to dwell on that kind of stuff anymore. Let’s get to talking again, even if for one moment before a few years get in the way again.