Pup Ruben

The addiction to chronic masturbation and cum denial has to be daily nourished or it might weaken and withdraw. There are lots of self-help communities willing to change our masturbatory path. The excess of ejaculations also deteriorates our reliance on chronic masturbation. So; what to do when all we want is to masturbate and deny as much as we can?

Learn more about you self. Discover what indeed makes you happy. How much chronic masturbating matters to you regarding your other personal choices? How much time would you like to spend masturbating? Do you see denying ejaculation as an alternative to make you to masturbate more?  

Learn more about chronic masturbation with cum denial. How do you feel when you over-masturbate? How do you feel when you stop without ejaculating? Is there any particular method you like the most; lengthening, edging, gooning, denying? World you like to develop a new ability in order to boost your current performance?  

Set achievable goals and plan to achieve them. A good suggestion would be to do it: GRADUALY, one goal at a time and step by step. Do not give up by the first stumble. Restart and try again as many times as necessary until you succeed. “Practice makes the perfection”.

Keep in touch with likeminded people. Sharing ideas with other chronic masturbators and cum deniers will only do you good.  You may learn new techniques as well as be encouraged to masturbate and deny as much as you want without guilt. You may also encourage other men to masturbate more. “Tell me who you walk with and I’ll tell you who you are”.

Improve your cum controls skills. Delaying/denying ejaculation is crucial for chronic masturbating. The progression of the ongoing ejaculation must be stopped, sabotaged or blocked, giving rise to a new ejaculation which, in turn, can also be stopped, sabotaged or blocked. Finishing without ejaculating is also an excellent choice for those who like to masturbate a number of times each day.

Dare to go extreme. The best sexual experiences are generally the audacious ones. Unleash your sexual fantasies. Allow yourself to masturbate and deny ejaculation for a month if you want.  Don’t be ashamed to be seen as a sexual maniac. What captivates people is not the ordinary but the outstanding.

The following suggestions may be helpful for a person who finds that they are struggling with low self-esteem:

1. It starts with a decision to be your own person. Don’t live your life to please, or to impress, someone else.

2. Try and grasp the fact we’re different and have different goals and values … And don’t be swayed by other people who criticise your dreams.

3. Don’t compare your path or journey to someone else’s journey as we start from different places and face different challenges.

4. Be kind, understanding and patient with yourself. Accept that failures and mistakes are part of everybody’s life. Also, choose to frame mistakes as learning opportunities.

5. You need to root for yourself, and seek to be your own best friend. Don’t denigrate yourself – in public, or when you’re alone.

6. Remind yourself a weakness can become a strength, in time. It takes patience effort – but, eventually, things change!

7. Make a list of what you’re good at, and keep adding to the list. Also, note the strengths that others see, and comment on, as well.

8. Treat yourself with respect and praise the things that you do well. Don’t write them off as “nothing”, or as being “no big deal”. 9. Find ways to dissipate and channel negative emotions. Don’t allow them to dictate the way you start to see yourself.

10. Spend time with those who like you, and can see your worth and value … And, ignore those who attack you, and would like to see you fail.

11. Choose to stand up for yourself, and value being more assertive. Also, decide to start to set and then enforce appropriate, healthy boundaries.

No.

I’ve worked with boys who have chosen to include chastity in their training. The choice to be kept in chastity, is theirs to make. (I elaborate at the end of the post)

Training with me does not happen at: hello nice to meet you.  First there is exploration.

I started my page to explore and live my kinky Dom side. It went lots of places and I’ve learned a lot, about me, the others and the scene.

This summarizes (yet still a bit long, but I felt it was necessary) all chats I’ve had with boys and other doms before. If u are in a hurry, just read the bold ones.

Having a kink might seem weird or complex, but in the end it’s just liking something people usually don’t. Being different. And that’s ok.

Embrace who you are and be happy with it. Be proud.

And by that, I don’t mean just embracing your submissive side. Or your Dom side. But all you are, all u want for life, whatever that might be.

A cumdump for men around? A muscle boy training to be better every day for your owner? A dom who wants a sub boyfriend? A sub and a Dom at the same time? Go for it.

It’s ok not liking everything. It’s ok being different from what u see around. This should be a place for exploring and trying what u want, not to be judged. You can get that on your everyday world.

Forget labels. They are boring. Be what you wanna be and someone will appreciate u for that.

There’s no right or wrong. And your body shape, dick size or bank account won’t say much about how much of a Dom or a sub u truly are. I’ve seen all types of both and it all depends on what u wanna be. Don’t judge based on the outside. Power, strength and resilience come from within.

Sometimes we get stuck in this fantasy world, seeing models, porn actors and porn scenes or people trying to do like those. And we think we gotta be like that.

But reality is much more complex and not always as glamorous and pretty (or rough and nasty haha) as we see around.

This is a fantasy world. Don’t forget reality out there can and probably will be different.

You don’t have to be marked and out to everyone as a sub, walk around in your lock or cage, to be a good one. Live it in the depth u want to. And that’s fine.

Being real means kink is just a part of your life. And it might be a huge part of yours, but it might not even be in someone else’s. So be careful with using some words outside a safe, known environment.

Rape might mean a rough, as the top wants fuck for u, but it also means pain, suffering and darkness for some other people out there.

Faggot might mean a submissive male here but it also carries prejudice and hate for some.

Words have power, never forget that.

In the end, always be clear about what u want and what they should expect from you. It’s an exchange.

Including power. That’s the base of it all. Doms have what subs give. Control, ownership, use. Otherwise it’s just abuse.

Some are learning still, some need more time or encouragement. Some won’t give u that. All is fine if it’s clear for all the ones involved.

Respect above all.

Between you and your partners. Between you and the ones around you. Between us all.

Your kink is not an excuse for being abusive. Or just a fucking cunt. For making anyone feel worthless. For hating anyone. For picking on races, gender roles, sexuality or whatever.

I guess it always comes down to this:

Be honest, healthy and happy. Safe, always. Explore and enjoy.

Honest with yourself and with others. About your needs, expectations and goals.

Healthy about your body and your mind. Some kinks involve dangerous stuff. Be aware if u ever decide to try them.

Safe from bad places, bad practices, bad people. They are all around.

Explore. Cause you might not like all u think you will. Or love what u thought you wouldn’t stand. That’s how we learn about ourselves and the scene.

And if you are not enjoying it, why are u doing it? Having a kink is already hard without people from inside judging and being shitty about it.

You’re not alone. Reach out and find those to help you grow.

If some people won’t or can’t understand it, a lot of them can and will. Find them. Your community, online or where u live. Talk about it.

Don’t be afraid to ask, to learn, to share. That’s how we can find each other. And improve the scene and start helping the ones dealing with toxic, bad examples out there.

It’s never easy. Work hard and give your best.

Be your best to serve the best. I’ve always told my boys that. And be the best to be served by the best. It works both ways.

And always do it for yourself, not just to please others. People come and go, but you’ll be with yourself every fucking day till u die.

Damn, what a long post haha

And just to be clear, that’s just part of MY experience with all of it. Some will disagree. Some will think less of me because of it. I don’t care.

I just want to improve the discussion around and show younger and inexperienced boys (and Doms and other people who are into any kink) that sometimes all u see around is not all there is.

If u agree or want to add anything, reblog, comment, share. It might help a lot of those who are starting their paths and may be lost or confused.

Take care.

Basically, it sounds like they just want a “sugar daddy dom,” and don’t want to support themselves. I can totally see why you see it this way, having had to support your significant other. It sucks and basically one person is being used. I don’t find dependency hot either.

I think the abundance of “porn-talk” comes from conformity. Everyone is trying to boost their blogs on this site, and seeing what the popular kids do, they copy it as well to generate notes and gain followers. The more extreme, the more hits it generates, it seems. Hell, I’ve seen posts about violent castration fantasies with thousands of likes and reblogs. One of my posts involving a guy with duct-tape mummified limbs was reblogged by a guy who said “Time to saw them off!”

Seriously, this site is fucking nuts.

I started up a blog because I was tired of the crazy-extreme bondage fantasists out there making the community look bad. The mainstream culture views us as a bunch of whip-wielding psychopaths one step below that of a serial killer. I’m not that kind of kinkster. I have a fucking romantic streak that manifests itself when I got a guy tied to the bedposts and moaning my name, dammit.

Also because I liked your style of blogging- you were a serious kinkster who’s done things in the real world, and your blog has a very human element to it. You’re not a pornbot. There’s a mind behind the kinky goodness. And that’s what I want to bring to this site.

I worry too that somebody fresh out of the closet is going to be terrified of our community, and therefore we lose another potential kinkster, due to the extremity of this site and others. Even my play partner, who’s been hooking up with guys for about 2 decades now and seen some shit, is really put off by people’s extremely violent and abusive fantasies here.

Actually one fellow wanted him to kidnap and keep him locked away. Permanently. The wannabe-victim guy was on drugs, I believe.

And you know what? I consider myself a Dominant. I doubt anybody takes me seriously; most guys don’t even reblog pics with my kinda-goofy captions. But you know what? Fuck those guys. I have private messages from outwardly vanilla guys who’ve asked me about my kink experiences and when and where they can get involved. You’d be surprised at how many guys want their boyfriend to tie them up and gag them and then toy with their bodies while they helplessly squirm…… How many of these “Gag the Fag” type blogs can honestly say they’ve done their part to recruit people into the community????? Fuck ‘em.

Dammit, now I’m feeling angry too. Angry and frustrated by how fucked things get on this site.

Can you please for for the love of god stop paying attention to that bullshit on Tumblr that tells you that you’re supposed to be a worthless object? You do realize that everybody who is spouting off about that crap doesn’t put their face or their address online?

BECAUSE IT ISN’T REAL!

You’re not going to spend your life in a basement serving somebody. It’s a fucking fantasy. And it bullshit like this that destroys the positive and meaningful interactions with in BDSM.

No one is dominant or submissive 100% of the time. It’s not possible. We’re human beings. We need to rest. We need to rejuvenate. Yeah you can have a hot session that goes on for a full weekend. You can embrace every bit of who you are as a dominant or submissive. But there’s always a break.

And if you haven’t figured this out, real dominant men provide Aftercare and take of their boys. Full stop. It’s not even a question. If somebody is going to put you through an intense situation and can’t even fucking bother holding onto you and caressing you to let you calm down, they’re just a piece of shit. There is something psychologically wrong with them and you shouldn’t be around them in the first place.

Let’s address this Alpha bullshit. No one is better than somebody else. No person is ordained as this creature that is meant to be superior to others. If someone honestly leaves that they are better than someone else on purely a basis of humanity, they are most likely a sad individual. They never achieved anything meaningful. Maybe one day they started going to the gym and realize that someone was attracted to them and then they could exert their low self-esteem on another. Can’t fucking stand people like this. And they spout their bullshit all over the internet.

And here’s the simple truth to all of this, you may read this right now and think that I’m completely wrong. But as soon as the fantasy wears off, you start to realize that a good man is far better than anything that this fantasy world could ever provide.

So please wake the fuck up. Believe in yourself. Know that you don’t deserve to be treated like crap. Submission is a gift. The dominant has to be worthy of it. You make that determination not them.

Stand up for yourself. I believe in you. Look past the bullshit.

Sincerely,

The posts on my blog are a true reflection of my life… although somewhat exaggerated, perhaps. The relationship I have with my boys is based on mutual trust and respect.

For most on Tumblr the whole master/slave scene is just a fantasy. However, there is a social hierarchy, a pecking order and this is true in every aspect of life… not just in the bedroom or in your dungeon! Having said that, your level of dominance is not fixed or permanent. I like to use the analogy of the wolf pack… The young pup works his way up the social order until one day he overthrows the alpha male and becomes the leader of the pack. 

I completed some major changes to the Library For Kinksters. Here is the update…

Aftercare

Aftercare 101

Aftercare For Dominants

Coping With Emotional Subdrop

Dom Drop

How To Make A Sub Drop Kit

Online Aftercare

sub/Dom Space, sub/Dom Drop and Aftercare

Subdrop and Aftercare

Subspace and Aftercare

Consent

Consent & BDSM

Guide to Consent

Doms, Daddies & Masters

7 Fundamental Characteristics of A Daddy Dom

12 Characteristics Of An Ideal Submissive

25 Things Daddies Should Do For Their Littles

30 Rules For A Modern Gentleman

45 Things A Girl Wants, But Won’t Ask For

50 Rules for Daddies

100 Sweet Things You Can Do For Your Princess

101 Things To Do To Make Your Slave Feel Owned (loved)

Alternative Names For “Daddy”

Alternative Domme Titles

Aspects Of Control

Asserting Ownership - Rules

Daddy Up!

Defining A Daddy Dom

Dominants Need Training Also

Fun Tasks Daddies Can Give Their Littles

Help For New Doms

How (and Why) To Go Down On Your Submissive

How To Be A Good Dominant

How to Find a Submissive

Knowing when to be a Dom and when to be her Man

New to DDLG - A Daddy Dom

Observations On Doms By A Submissive

So you want to be a Dom?

So Your Girlfriend Wants You To Dominate her

Some Little Rules All Daddies Should Know

The Dom Commandments

Things for Daddies to Keep in Mind

What Being A Dom Is About - A Submissive’s Perspective

What does the title Daddy mean?

What is a Daddy Dom?

What is a Daddy Dom Mentor?

What It Means To Be A Dominant

What Makes A Good Dominant

Littles, Subs & Slaves

6 Questions Every Submissive Needs To Ask Her Potential Dominant

7 Common Types of Submissives

10 Tips For Living With A Sadist

10 Things A Dominant Needs From A Submissive

11 Red Flags Of An Abusive Dominant

26 Baby Girl Jobs

50 Things You Can Do For Your Daddy

A Bottom’s Responsibility

A Dominant’s Advice To His Submissive

A Man Who Knows You…

A Good Dom vs. A Bad Dom

Acid Test For Subs

Ask A Million And One Questions

Attraction to DD/lg: A Little’s Perspective

Baby girl or little? A brief introduction

Care and feeding of Daddies

Characteristics Of A Good Daddy

Coaxing The Daddy Dom Out Of Your Partner

Feminist Submissive

Finding Your Dominant

Good Rules For Middles and Littles To Live By

Guide For Young Newbie Sub Girls

How a Dom Behaves Shows How He Will Behave Towards You.

“How do I find Daddy?” A guide to help you safely find the Daddy you’re looking for.

How Does A Submissive Ask for Something from Their Dominant?

How To Find A Dom

How to Take Proper Care of Your Dom

I Solemnly Swear I Will Not Do This To Daddy

Novice Submissives

Physical abuse of littles - it is never OK

Signs Of A Fake ‘Dominant’

Stuff no one tells you about submission, until the spreader bar is on and you are trapped.

Submissives, Learning to Trust Your Instincts

Submissive Pride

Submissive Traits - Intelligence

Things My Dream Daddy Would Say To Me

What is a Little?

When newbie subs, with asinine “doms,” need to run away.

Why I call him Daddy

Your Rights As A Submissive

Long Distance Relationships

10 Ways To Survive A Long Distance Relationship

Getting The Most Out Of A Long Distance Relationship

How To Make Long Distance Relationships Work

Long Distance Relationships - Tools To Cope

Long Distance Relationships (LDR) Contemplation: Sticking with plans

The Long Distance D/s Relationship

Mental Health

BDSM practitioners ‘healthier and less neurotic’ than ‘vanilla’ peers

Body image & BDSM

How to Get Over Feeling Sad

Is BDSM normal?

Love your Vulva – a self-esteem guide to your sensitive bits!

Managing bipolar disorder in a D/S relationship

Meditation And Mindfulness

On Cutting

Steps For Letting Go of Painful Memories

Things to Do When You’re Anxious, Scared, or Just Need a Distraction

Tips for Recovering from Codependency

What Are Anxiety Disorders? (Infographic)

Why Do I Feel Unloveable?

Relationships

10 Habits of Happy Couples

10 Top Communication Mistakes

10 Types of Emotional Manipulators

12 Relationship Truths We Often Forget

50 Best Ways To Say “I Love You”

BDSM Breakups: All Good Things Must Come to an End

BDSM: Control Goes Both Ways

Collars and Collaring - A Personal Perspective

Communication Is Key

Concept Daddy Dom/Little Girl Relationships

Daddy Doms and their little girls

Daddy Doms, Baby Girls, Little Boys And More

Date Night In A Jar

DD/lg In Public

D/s and Domestication

Factors That Make A Relationship

Finding Love When You Least Expect It

Finding Others with Common (Adult) Interests

How To Be Present In Your Relationships

How To Build A Healthy Relationship

How To Get What You Want In A Relationship

How To Know When You’ve Found “The One”

How To Take Your Relationship To The Next Level

Importance Of Confidence In RelationshipsImportance Of Trust In A Relationship

Key Ingredients of a Happy and Healthy Relationship

Needy Girls Are Daddy Dom Bait

Relationship Advice To Follow, And What To Ignore

Searching for a D/s partner?

Self-Fulfilling Prophecies In Relationships

Stop Arguments Before They Start

The Rewards of a Submissive

Types Of Relationship Insecurity

Well-Balanced Power Exchange Relationship

What Is Real Love?

When He Doesn’t Call

Why Love Makes A Night Of Kink Even Better

Safety

Another life ruined because of the morality police

Bondage Basic Safety: Crops, Paddles & Bondage!

Kinks, Risks, How To And Why Sometimes You Shouldn’t

Limits in BDSM

What is Emotional Abuse?

Self Improvement

10 Tips for Creating a Happier Life

10 Steps To Self Care

10 Ways To Be Happy

10 Truths To Live By

Guaranteed Ways To Be More Attractive

How to be Yourself

How To Deal With Your Enemies

How To Ignore Haters

How to Recognize a Toxic Friend

How to Stop Being a People Pleaser

Slut Shaming Explained

Tips for Healing a Broken Heart

What are the Signs of a Jealous Friend?

Sex

50 Cunnilingus Tips from Women

Basics of Breath Play

D/s or Kinky Sex?

Fetishes Explained

How To Make A Girl Squirt

How To Tell Your Son About Sex

Intersection of BDSM and Queer Heterosexuality

Sensual Biting

Sex: Myths & Stereotypes

Sex: Practical Details

Sex: Pregnancy and Birth Control

So You Want To Try Anal? A Practical Guide For Women

Squirting Educational Video

Squirting Notes

Toys

Advice on Dildos and Buttplugs

BDSM on a budget

Bondage Rope: How To Choose Yours (And More)

Training

10 Considerations for Inexperienced Subs

30 Things You Can Do For Your Human Kitten

40 Very Important DD/lg Facts

Age Play: A Short Guide

BDSM for Beginners: Safe and Affordable Play

DEFINED: SSC (Safe, Sane & Consensual) & RACK (Risk Aware Consensual Kink)

Etiquette in BDSM Part 1

Etiquette in BDSM Part 2

Exploring the D/s Lifestyle: Part 1 - Beginnings

Exploring the D/s Lifestyle: Part 2 - The Dominant Mind

Glossary of BDSM Terms

Guide To Blood Play

Guide To Bruising

Guide To Talking Dirty

Guide To Wax Play

How Do I Get Started In BDSM?

How to Make a Blanket Fort/Cuddle Nest

How To Make A Comfort Box

Introduction To BDSM

Newbie’s Guide To Vaginal Fisting

Punishments in BDSM Relationships

Red Flags For Online BDSM Relationships

Some Thoughts On Rules

The Leash Has Two Ends - Responsibility

The Need For Rules and Discipline