Unjustifiable Puppy Thoughts

Is it illegal to have whiskey with lemon instead of lime? It’s all I got.

Wait fuck! Dogs are allergic to chocolate that’s right! smh 🤦 

Does anyone else get a slight burning sensation in the back of their throat when eating chocolate? Maybe it’s just one of many gods gifts given to me. 😇

Damn you can really put anything in a air fryer

Omg I’m really trying to fuck up a scone rn

I’m not funny

Y’all don’t understand how incredibly helpless I am when someone puts their hand around my throat with a slight grip, that’s all it takes and I will just short circuit and shut down!

I just had a glass of milk for the first time in like four years because I’m lactose intolerant so my body treats milk like acid, but that shit is so good. It feels amazing to drink it. Tastes amazing. Nice and chilled. I see why I’m so depressed and want to kill myself every single day, I’ve been raw dogging life without the sweetness of milk. I can’t wait to regret this decision within 30 minutes.

Watching Minecraft horror mods on YouTube and one of them you have to take meds to stop you from tweaking out and from monsters chasing you, the meds in the game are the same ones I take irl 😅

People really go through 9 months of pregnancy then name their kid Darin?

And yes it’s corona extra

Cute small timid puppy girl walks up to the bar “aww hi what can I get you dar-” SLAMS an empty stein once full of beer “ᵐᵒʳᵉ ᵈʳⁱⁿᵏʸ ᵖˡᵉᵃˢᵉ” 😁🍺

I just slept for 16 hours straight. Ok yeah I think my actions are catching up to me.

Eating is already max level difficulty and you’re telling me I have to do it 2 more times today?! I genuinely don’t understand how people manage more than 2 meals. Like do y’all just not feel nauseous or incredibly full halfway through the second one or something??

On my XR Adderall the first half I am hyper, fun, quirky, girly and then the second half I’m just lame and boring. Like why can’t Adderall just be fun with no downsides! Give a girl her stimulants!