puppy drool

i want to be so disgustingly beautiful that its sickening to others to the point where i wont ever have to question whether i should be in a photo or not do something because i dont look good, i will be so objectively gorgeous and my beauty will glow not only to others but within me that it becomes something obvious.

I wonder how everyone would see me if I was a troubled kawaii moe anime girl instead of a fat hikineet who does nothing but listens to music and browses the internet...

guys is it okay if I lay down on my bed and smile and giggle and kick my feet in the air and twirl my hair and touch myself thinking about him even if I know Im a loser and he doesn't like me as more than a friend (Idk know if he sees me as a friend tbh)