A/N: Based off me and my family (who is surprised)
Bruce has always believed names carry weight.
When you're little, it's almost exclusively sweetheart and darling. That's what Martha always called him. As you get older, they never disappear, they just become quieter and he rarely thinks before saying them, you're his daughter after all.
If he calls you by your full first name you're either seriously injured or seriously in trouble.
Otherwise, it's always one of his softer names.
He especially uses honey when he's checking on you after patrol (not me propagating my Bruce Wayne girl dad agenda)
"Honey, show me your arm."
"I'm fine daddy don't worry."
"Show me."
"Good morning darling, d'you sleep well?"
"Damian got in bed with me at like 1am and kept moving around like a rotisserie chicken all night, take a guess."
"Hey sweetheart where are you?"
"Daddy you have my location on like 10 different apps, I'm literally at the mall, I called you on the way over here."
"With who?"
"Dude I have like 3 friends who do you think?" (genuine conversation between me and my dad no lie)
Dick doesn't really have a name for you.
He has a particular way of saying your name though
Nobody else can replicate it, it's almost musical, very drawn out and bright, and immediately recognisable.
It's the same tone he used when the two of you were kids.
The whole family knows exactly when Dick's looking for you because they hear your name echoing through the Manor.
You could be three floors away and somehow know it's him.
Jason, however, has never once greeted you like a normal person.
You know you're one of Jason's favourite people because he reserves his absolute worst greetings for you.
"What's up dumbass."
"What's good"
"Hey bitch what's going on?"
"Oh my gosh my favourite bum of all time."
"Hey witch, the moon's full tonight I thought your ass would be howling at it."
"Jason I know you've read Twilight, you should know what you said is wrong."
Tim calls everyone by their name.
But not everyone's name sounds the same y'know?
When Tim says your name, it's loaded with sibling telepathy
One tone means "Come save me."
Another means "Jason did something incredibly stupid."
Another means "Please back me up here"
He also calls you nerd and loser occasionally.
Duke also calls everyone by their name.
But when he says your name you can hear the smile behind it, it's very sweet
You can hear it every single time as well.
Your name always sounds very warm coming from him.
Your family has pointed it out as well.
Cass calls you sister.
Short and sweet.
It's one word but full of emotion.
Steph talks to you like you're the main character of a movie
All her greetings are enthusiastic and her nicknames are so affectionate
"Hi beautiful"
"Steph please I look like a clapped bicycle seat."
"Hey gorgeous.''
"Ugh stopppp."
"Y/N My gloriously caked up queen your ass looks so fat today."
"Yeah ik you commented that on my last insta post."
Damian is very selective with his words.
He calls you sister, your first name, and occasionally Arabic terms of endearment
On the phone
"Sister, please pick me up from the bowling alley."
"Why were you there to begin with you hate bowling???"
"Timothy was tasked with babysitting today and him and his friends are screwing around and I wish to leave."
"You got it buddy I'm coming, let me finish up with this WE meeting and I'll be on my way."
"Come fast I cannot stand the sound of Conner's voice."
And finally, Alfred calls you my dear
Ever since you pulled up to the manor that's been your title.
To Alfred you will always be someone worth fussing over.
"Don't fret my dear, I'm confident you passed with flying colours on that exam."
"My dear girl, the day I am unable to handle this family is the day I die."
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The Batcave was never truly silent. It breathed. The distant drip of water from stalactites older than Gotham, the subsonic hum of the supercomputer, the chittering of bats far above in the endless dark. But tonight, the silence was a living thing, a predator that had devoured all other sound. It was a silence of absence.
The Batcomputer’s main screen was dark, but a single, smaller monitor on the desk glowed with a frozen image: a girl, mid-laugh, flour on her nose. Her eyes were squeezed shut in joy, a streak of purple in her hair. The cursor hovered over the play button, trembling as if the hand guiding it was caught in an earthquake.
Bruce Wayne, stripped of the cowl but still wearing the armor, sat in the chair. He wasn’t Batman. He wasn’t Bruce. He was just a man made of fractured bones and a heart pumping pure, unadulterated agony. He hadn’t slept in seventy-two hours. He hadn’t spoken in twenty-four. On the floor, slumped against the base of the massive computer, was Dick Grayson. The first Robin. The golden boy. Now, his eyes were red-rimmed craters in a face the color of old ash. He held a small, silly-looking stuffed bat you’d won at a rigged carnival game. The one he’d complained about buying, but secretly loved seeing you clutch when you watched scary movies.
In the shadows, beyond the circle of light, Jason Todd stood with his arms crossed, a statue of rage barely contained. The white streak in his hair seemed to glow with its own furious light. He refused to sit. Sitting meant accepting this, and he would burn the world down before he accepted this. Tim Drake was curled in a chair, a laptop with a cracked screen open but ignored on his knees. He was looking at nothing, his brilliant, tactical mind having finally found an equation he couldn't solve: a world without you.
And Damian. Damian Wayne, the son of the Bat, the heir to the Demon’s Head, was sitting cross-legged on the cold stone floor directly in front of the monitor. His katana lay across his lap, unsheathed, his small, calloused hands resting on the blade. His eyes, usually so sharp and defiant, were glassy and vacant, fixed on your frozen, laughing face. A single tear, perfectly formed, traced a path through the grime on his cheek, but he made no move to wipe it away. He was waiting. They all were.
You, Y/N, had been the sun. And suns, by their nature, make everything orbit them. They didn't realize it until you were gone, collapsing into a black hole of your own making, and their orbits were failing. You were only sixteen. And you were the only one who ever insisted on making these stupid videos. The videos Bruce was now, with a breath that sounded like a death rattle, about to play.
///
Your life with them wasn’t normal. “Normal” was a fairytale told to children who didn’t have to check their Christmas presents for Joker toxin. You’d been taken in by Bruce Wayne after a mission gone sideways, a dark night where your own family’s lawlessness—a small-time crew who’d tried to pull a job on a Falcone shipment—had put you in the crossfire. You were twelve, a feral, observant thing who could pick a pocket faster than a starving raccoon and lie to a cop with a cherub’s smile. You weren’t a sidekick, not in the traditional sense. You were… you. The glue, as Alfred would later, with trembling hands, call you.
Breakfast at Wayne Manor was a warzone before you. Bruce, silent behind the newspaper, a specter of exhaustion. Dick, glaring at his cereal for the crime of being in the same room as Bruce. Jason, provoking Damian, who would respond with threats of unspeakable violence. Tim, trying to mediate while simultaneously reading a case file on his tablet, his coffee growing cold. It was a cacophony of clashing egos, a collection of broken, brilliant individuals sharing a roof but not a life.
You changed the physics of the house. You didn't do it with grand gestures, but with a gravitational pull that was uniquely your own. A lawless, chaotic, loving gravity.
It started with you stealing Bruce’s newspaper.
“You’re not even reading it,” you’d said at thirteen, sliding it across the mahogany table. “You’re hiding. Your brooding has a physical presence, you know. It’s like a seventh person at the table, and it’s very rude. It never passes the salt.”
Jason had choked on his orange juice. Damian had stared, aghast at your audacity. But Bruce, after a stunned moment, had let out a low chuckle, a sound so unfamiliar it made Alfred pause in the doorway, a silver platter tilting precariously.
“And what do you suggest?” Bruce had asked, his voice a low gravel.
“We start a tradition,” you declared, ignoring Tim’s wide-eyed look of warning. “Tell me something about your patrol. Something weird. Not dark, not gruesome. Weird. Like… did you know Condiment King has a carefully curated collection of vintage mustard jars? I saw it when I was hacking the traffic cams for you last night.”
A new ritual was born that day. Weird Patrol Stories became the morning anchor.
That was your genius. You understood that a family of lawless, traumatized vigilantes couldn't be stitched together with heartfelt conversations. They needed a shared language, and your language was beautiful, calculated, affectionate chaos. You were the only one who could touch Jason when he was in a pit-madness haze, not with fear or pity, but with a blunt, “You’re being a theatrical ass. The brooding corner is taken. Bruce is already there, communing with the shadows. Go brood in the library, you’ll clash.” He’d be so offended he’d snap out of it just to argue with you.
You were the only one who could get Damian to be a child. Not by forcing him, but by challenging him to a rooftop parkour race, the loser having to groom Titus with a glittery pink brush. You’d lost on purpose half the time, not that he ever knew. You’d sit for an hour, carefully brushing purple glitter from a massive Great Dane, while Damian lectured you on proper stance and the disgrace of your defeat. The video was your idea. “We need to document this, Dami! Proof you’re not a total gremlin!” He’d grumbled, called you an imbecile, but he’d sat perfectly still as you both, faces covered in dog glitter, smiled for the camera.
You were Tim’s anchor to reality. When he’d go three days without sleep, chasing a digital ghost through the dark web, you wouldn’t plead or lecture. You’d simply sit on the floor of his room, back against his desk, and start reading aloud from the trashiest, most absurd romance novel you could find in the manor’s vast library. The sheer, weaponized cringe of the prose would eventually break through his hyper-focus. He’d uncurl from his screen, a faint, exhausted smile on his face. “You’re a menace, Y/N.” “And you need to drink this,” you’d say, pushing a glass of water into his hand, the video camera on your phone already recording the rare sight of a caffeine-free Tim Drake. “Tell the camera the title of the chapter. ‘Pirates of the Pleasure Lagoon.’ Say it, Tim. This is blackmail material.”
And for Dick, you were the little sister who saw past the performance. You saw the pressure of being the first, the gold standard, the emotional caretaker who had no one to take care of him. You’d find him on the roof of the manor after a bitter argument with Bruce, staring at Bludhaven’s distant skyline. You’d just sit with him. Then, you’d bump your shoulder against his. “For a guy made of elastic, you’re really bad at bouncing back from feelings, Grayson.” You’d always use his last name, like a teammate. He’d sling an arm around you, his sadness a tangible weight you’d willingly share. “Let’s take a video,” you’d say, pulling out your phone. “A message for future-us. What’s one good thing from today?” It was your thing. One Good Thing. A video diary for a family that forgot to remember the light.
You were Bruce’s unexpected mirror. You, with your lawless past and your sharp, thieving instincts, understood the darkness he was afraid to show. You never flinched. You called it like you saw it. “You’re not their general, you’re their father. The Bat may command, but Bruce has to love. Those are different operating systems, and you keep using the wrong one.” He’d look at you, this small sixteen-year-old who had broken into his heart as easily as you used to break into safes, and he’d feel a terrifying, unfamiliar hope. You’d pull him into the videos too. “Smile, Dad-Man. It’s not a toxin, it’s a facial expression.” You’d forced him to wear a party hat on his birthday, a video Jason still cackled about.
You were the gravitational center of their entire universe, the sun they orbited. And the sun, on a rainy Tuesday in October, went out. The Joker, in his relentless, nihilistic war against Batman, finally understood a truth the Dark Knight himself had missed: to break the Bat, you didn't target his body, or even his Robins. You targeted the one who held the broken pieces together. The laugh, the videos, the glitter, the lawless little ghost who’d stolen their hearts—you were the single, irreplaceable point of failure.
///
The alert didn’t come through the usual channels. It erupted on every screen in the Batcave simultaneously, a hacking so invasive it felt like a hand reaching into their sanctuary. The feed was grainy, saturated in a sickly yellow that bled the world of color, transforming it into a jaundiced nightmare. Rain slanted through the frame in silver needles, striking a lone bulb that swung on a bare wire, making the shadows lurch and sway like drunken mourners. And there, in the center of the frame, was you.
You were tied to a rusted metal chair, the kind pulled from a derelict warehouse, its paint peeling in leprous curls. Your reinforced jacket was torn at the shoulder, the dark fabric glistening wetly. Blood traced a slow, deliberate path from your hairline down the plane of your cheek, diluting in the rain before dripping from your jaw. Your domino mask was cracked, a jagged fissure bisecting the left lens, but your eyes behind it were not wide with fear. They burned with a quiet, furious contempt. Your chin was lifted, not in defiance for the camera, but as if the monster holding it was too boring to merit your full attention. You looked not like a victim, but like a captured sun, still radiating heat in the face of an endless, hungry void.
Bruce’s hand stopped an inch from the console, his body turned to stone. The cave’s ambient hum became a roar in his ears, the sound of blood rushing, a tidal wave of dread. He couldn’t look away. Dick was already moving, his chair clattering to the floor behind him, but his eyes were nailed to the screen, his pupils blown wide. Tim’s fingers flew across a secondary keyboard, his lips moving in a silent, frantic prayer of code, tracing the signal. Jason, who had been cleaning his guns in the corner, stood so abruptly the table overturned. He didn’t make a sound. He just stared, the color draining from his face until the white streak in his hair seemed to glow against a mask of ash. Damian, small and rigid in the doorway, had come to deliver a report and instead walked into a mausoleum.
The Joker’s voice oozed from the speakers, a sing-song, intimate poison. “Saaay cheese for the birdie, little sunbeam! No, wait, you’re not the sun. You’re just a black hole pretending. Let’s see if the big bad Bat can find you before the punchline lands!”
A crowbar, slick with rain and something darker, swung lazily into the frame, held by a gloved hand with theatrical nonchalance. It tapped your cheek once, a mockery of a caress. You didn’t flinch. You spat at the lens. The feed dissolved into static with a high, keening laugh that seemed to claw its way into their skulls and refuse to leave.
The cave erupted. Not into chaos, but into a perfectly orchestrated nightmare ballet. Bruce was in the Batmobile before the static cleared, the engine’s roar a primal scream. Jason was already gone, the squeal of his motorcycle tires leaving burnt rubber ghosts on the stone floor. Dick launched himself upward into the dark, grappling through the manor’s clock entrance, his body a projectile of pure terror. Tim stayed, his face illuminated by the cold blue of his screen, his voice a monotone crackling over the comms, feeding coordinates even as his hands shook violently enough to make typing a battle. Damian, ignored, forbidden, left behind by a single wordless glance from Bruce, waited exactly three seconds before mounting his own cycle and tearing into the night. No one would order him to stay. Not tonight. Not when his sun was in eclipse.
The alley was a wound in the city’s side, a narrow, forgotten artery tucked between condemned buildings that sagged toward each other like exhausted giants. The rain here fell harder, funneled by the brick walls into a deluge that filled the air with the sound of a hundred tiny drums. The scent of ozone, rust, and something coppery and warm clung to the shadows. A speaker, cheap plastic molded into a grinning face, was still mounted crookedly on the wall, spilling a looped, mechanical laugh into the storm. It was the first thing Jason saw. The second was the crowbar, lying abandoned in a puddle that was more crimson than water.
Then he saw you.
His world collapsed into a single, silent point. The laugh, the rain, the roar of the distant Batmobile—all of it fell away. There was only the stillness of your chest, the wrong angle of your body against the chair, your head tilted slightly to the side as if you were simply resting. But your eyes were open, half-lidded, and the fire that had blazed through the cracked lens was gone. You were no longer looking at the monster. You were looking at nothing.
Jason Todd, , the man who had crawled out of his own grave and taught his heart to beat again through sheer, bloody-minded rage, walked forward on legs that felt like fractured stone. He didn’t run. Running meant there was hope, and the pit of his stomach had already filled with an ice so absolute it froze every nerve. When he reached you, he sank down—not a controlled kneel, but a collapse, his knees hitting the flooded asphalt with a splash that sent ripples through the blood-tinged water. His hands, the hands that had held guns and thrown punches and rebuilt himself from shattered bone, reached for the ropes that bound your wrists. His fingers were clumsy, thick with a tremor that made the simple act of untying a knot an impossibility.
“Come on, kid,” he muttered, his voice a ragged, unfamiliar thing. “Joke’s over. You win. You always win, you little menace. Get up.”
The ropes fell away. Your arm slid limply into the water. He caught it, cradling it as if it were made of glass, and pulled you against his chest. Your head lolled against his shoulder, the purple streak in your hair plastered to his jacket. The cold of your skin was a physical blow, a truth his mind refused to parse. He rocked forward, his forehead touching your temple, his massive frame curling around you as if he could shield you from a threat that had already passed, as if his body heat could reignite the sun.
“Don’t do this,” he whispered, his voice cracking. “I’m the one who dies. That’s the deal. You’re the one who drags me back. Remember? On the roof. ‘One good thing.’ You said it. You promised. You don’t get to break the promise.”
The laugh from the speaker jeered on, a relentless, tinny soundtrack. Jason’s head snapped up, and the grief that had softened his features an instant before twisted into something monstrous. A sound tore from him—not a word, not a roar, but a raw, guttural scream that scraped his throat bloody. It was the sound of a man who had already died once and now understood that resurrection was a curse, because he had survived only to bury the one person who made survival feel like something other than penance. The scream echoed off the wet brick, swallowed by the rain, and Jason held you tighter, his body shaking with sobs that seemed to originate from the very core of the earth.
Bruce arrived to that sound. He moved through the alley’s mouth like a specter, the rain sheeted off the angles of his cowl. He saw Jason on his knees, saw the slack, grey-white hand trailing in the water, and the world tilted on its axis. For one suspended heartbeat, the Batman disappeared. In his place was a father confronted with the unthinkable, a man whose every contingency, every protocol, every sleepless night spent planning for catastrophe had failed to account for the simplest, most devastating variable: the universe did not care for his preparation. It had taken you anyway.
He crossed the distance and crouched, his cape pooling in the bloodied water. His gauntleted hands closed gently but firmly over Jason’s shoulders. “Jason,” he said, and his voice was not Batman’s. It was Bruce’s, a low, broken gravel that had no authority left. “Let me see her. Please.”
Jason wrenched away, his face a mask of grief and fury. “Don’t touch her. Don’t you dare touch her.” His arms tightened possessively, as if giving you over would make it real. But his strength was gone, hollowed out by a sorrow too vast for anger to fill. Bruce didn’t pull. He simply waited, his own hands trembling, until Jason’s resistance crumbled and he let go with a sound like a wounded animal. Bruce gathered you then, lifting you as if you weighed nothing, as if you were made of spent light. Your head fell back, rain washing the blood from your still face, and for a moment you looked peaceful—a cruel, unbearable illusion.
Dick landed on the fire escape above, his breath a ragged knife in his lungs. He had run across the city with his heart pounding a desperate mantra: Not her, not her, not her. He saw Bruce holding you, and the mantra died. His hand flew to his mouth, pressing hard against a sound he couldn’t allow to escape. His world narrowed to a single, impossible detail: your chest, which should have been rising and falling with that stubborn, chaotic life you carried everywhere, was still. Utterly, horrifyingly still. He slid down the brick wall, his suit scraping against the mortar, and sat in the pooling water, his legs refusing the command to stand. The Golden Boy, the acrobat who had laughed at gravity, had finally fallen.
Tim arrived not on his feet but doubled over, his stomach rejecting the reality before his mind could process it. He vomited into the gutter, his body wracked with spasms that had nothing to do with physical exertion. His mind, a cathedral of logic and pattern recognition, slammed against the walls of a problem it could not solve. There was no algorithm to rewind time. No code to rewrite this moment. He straightened, wiping his mouth with a shaking hand, and his eyes, usually sharp and calculating, were blank with a kind of intellectual horror. The data was in, and it was unacceptable.
And then there was Damian.
He came last, a small, dark figure slipping through the shadows that the rain couldn’t touch. He moved with a mechanical, deliberate gait, his katana already drawn, the blade gleaming wetly. He didn’t look at Bruce or Jason or the body. He walked past them all, his eyes fixed on the grinning speaker, the source of the laugh that still mocked them with its mindless, looping glee. He raised his sword. The blade sang through the rain, a high, keening note, and bisected the speaker in a single, perfect stroke. The laugh died with a pitiful electronic squeal, leaving only the drumming of the storm.
Damian turned. His face was a porcelain mask, utterly still, but his eyes—those sharp, defiant eyes that had learned to soften only for you—were swimming with a grief so immense it had no outlet. He saw you in Bruce’s arms, and the mask shattered.
“You cannot be dead.” His voice was small, a child’s voice stripped of all its armor. He took a step forward, then another, his sword lowering until the tip scraped the ground. “You are intolerably stubborn. You would not concede to this… this clown. Get up, Y/N. Get up right now.” The command wavered, cracking around the edges. “That is an order.”
Silence. Rain.
“Get up!” The word became a plea, the plea a sob that ripped from his ten-year-old chest with a force that doubled him over. The sword clattered from his fingers, splashing into the water, forgotten. He crumpled, not like a warrior, but like a little boy whose world had just been extinguished. Dick moved then, crossing the space in three staggering strides, and wrapped his arms around Damian, pulling the child against his chest. Damian fought him, small fists beating against Dick’s shoulders, his screams wordless and raw, the cries of a soul being forged into something harder and colder. Dick held on, his own tears mixing with the rain on Damian’s hair, and said nothing. There were no words for this.
There was no debriefing. No strategy. No stoic return. They brought you home through the secret passages of the manor, a silent procession of the shattered and the damned. Alfred was waiting in the medbay, his posture as impeccable as ever, but his face was the color of old parchment. When Bruce laid you on the examination table, the old butler’s hand went to his chest. He let out a single, choked sound—a dry, splintering gasp—and for a terrible moment, his knees buckled. He caught himself on the edge of the table, his gloved fingers inches from your cold, still hand. This was the child who called him Alfie. The one who stole biscuits and left clever, silly notes that made him laugh when no one was looking. He did not weep. His dignity would not permit such a display. He simply turned away, his shoulders quaking with a silent, ocean-deep grief, and began preparing the room for a vigil that would never end.
In the days that followed, the family did not simply grieve. They atomized. Bruce retreated into the cave and became a ghost of computation, replaying the Joker’s ten-second video on a loop, searching for a frame he had missed, a shadow, a sound—anything that could be transformed into a target. He did not eat. He did not sleep. The Bruce Wayne persona was abandoned like an outgrown skin; only the machine of vengeance remained, and it was calibrated to a single, blinding purpose: find the clown.
Jason shattered the armory. He smashed workbenches, threw a crowbar through a monitor, and screamed at Bruce with a fury that seemed to shake the stalactites. “Your rule! Your precious, stupid rule! He keeps coming back and he keeps taking—and you just put him in a box! This is your blood on the ground, Bruce! Yours!” Bruce absorbed it all in silence, each word a lash he believed he had earned a thousand times over.
Tim vanished into a digital necropolis. He didn’t hunt the Joker. He hunted the ghost of you, building a vast, sorrowful archive—every video, every text, every security frame of your face—feeding it into a post-cognition algorithm that, in his feverish logic, might reveal the single variable he could have changed to save you. He was trying to solve the unsolvable, to find an equation that would give his guilt a shape he could bear.
Dick stayed in Blüdhaven for two days before the silence became unbearable. He came back to the manor, but he didn’t stay in the common rooms. He couldn’t. He started finding his way to your room, sitting on the floor with his back against your bed, a bottle in his hand that he never seemed to finish and never let go of. He’d pull out his phone and stare at your contact photo—a silly selfie with flour on your nose—until the screen blurred. Then he’d type out a text he would never send: One good thing today? I need one, Y/N. Please. Every unsent message was a fresh, bleeding wound.
Damian stopped speaking. Words were inadequate; they belonged to a world where you existed. He took up residence in your room, which Alfred, with a reverence that bordered on sacrosanct, left untouched. The half-empty can of soda. The books on forensic science beside a worn copy of a romance novel Tim must have planted as a joke. The wall of printed photographs—snapshots of the videos you had made them film. Damian would sit in your desk chair, Alfred the Cat curled in his lap, and stare at the corkboard for hours. His rage had cooled into a cold, absolute nihilism, a planet-sized why that had no answer. What was honor? What was legacy? What was Robin, if the sun could be blotted out so easily and so senselessly?
The only thing they all shared, in their isolated, soundless orbits, was an unspoken, collective avoidance. The folder on the Batcomputer. The one with the string of emojis: a sun, a bat, a bird, a sparkle heart. Inside was a sub-folder labeled in your handwriting, recorded for the camera you’d propped up on the console: “FAMILY PROOF (watch together!!).”
It waited there, a repository of voices and laughter and a love so fierce it had once held their fractured solar system in perfect, golden alignment. They avoided it like a black hole. Because to open it was to hear your voice again, and to hear your voice was to admit that you were gone. And none of them, not a single one, was ready to admit that the light had truly and irrevocably gone out.
///
The cave had become a tomb.
Not in the physical sense—the stalactites still dripped, the bats still chittered in their distant perches, the supercomputer still hummed its endless, patient hum—but in the way a church becomes a tomb when the god it worshipped has abandoned it. The air was thick with a stillness that felt deliberate, as if the cave itself understood that something sacred had been extinguished and was holding its breath in deference.
Three weeks had passed since the alley. Three weeks of silence that was not silence but a cacophony of absences. The absence of your footsteps on the metal grating. The absence of your voice calling up the stairs for someone to taste-test a recipe you'd stolen from Alfred's private collection. The absence of your laugh, which had always seemed to find the cracks in their armor and slip through, warm and unexpected as sunlight through cloud cover.
Bruce had not left the cave in seventy-two hours. He sat at the console like a gargoyle misplaced from its cathedral, the glow of the monitors carving hollows beneath his cheekbones, turning his face into a landscape of exhaustion and grief. He had stopped reviewing the Joker's video. That particular form of self-flagellation had yielded nothing but a deeper, more intimate acquaintance with madness. Now he simply sat, his hands motionless on the armrests, staring at a screen that displayed nothing but the Manor's security feeds. Your room. Your door. Closed. Unchanged. A shrine of pixels.
Dick had returned to the Manor two days ago, though "returned" was a generous word. He had washed up like flotsam, deposited on the Manor's doorstep by tides he could no longer navigate. He stood now at the edge of the cave's main platform, one hand resting on a stalagmite as if he needed its cold, mineral certainty to keep himself upright. His eyes were bloodshot, the kind of red that came from too little sleep and too much of the whiskey he thought no one noticed. He hadn't changed out of his civilian clothes in two days. The fabric smelled stale, a faint note of bar smoke and something sourer beneath—the scent of a man slowly dissolving.
Jason was a statue of contained violence in the shadows beyond the computer's light. He had refused to come closer, refused to sit, refused to acknowledge that this gathering was happening at all. His arms were crossed over his chest, the muscles beneath his jacket coiled with a tension that had not released since he'd held your body in the rain. The split knuckles from punching the cave wall had scabbed over and been split again, a cycle of wounding and re-wounding that he pursued with almost liturgical dedication. He spoke to no one. He looked at no one. He was a planet that had been flung from its orbit and now drifted through an endless, freezing void, burning with a cold fire that illuminated nothing.
Tim was already seated, but the word "seated" implied a degree of voluntary presence. He had been welded to that chair for hours, maybe longer—time had become a foreign concept, a measurement system from a universe that no longer existed. His laptop was open before him, but its screen was dark. This was unprecedented. Tim Drake did not sit before dark screens. Tim Drake filled dark screens with light and data and purpose. But the purpose had drained out of him, leaving behind only the shell of a boy genius who had finally encountered a problem that could not be optimized, only endured.
And Damian.
Damian sat on the floor directly before the main monitor, his katana laid across his knees like an offering. He had not spoken a single word in six days. Alfred had attempted to coax him with tea, with food, with the quiet, dignified presence that had soothed so many broken birds before. Damian had looked through him as if he were made of glass. The boy who had once declared himself the heir to empires now sat with the hollow, distant gaze of a child who had discovered that empires were built on sand and blood, and neither substance could bring back the dead.
It was Tim who broke first.
Not with words. Tim had no words left. But his hand moved—an involuntary spasm of muscle memory—and touched the trackpad of his laptop. The screen blazed to life, and there it was. The folder. The one he had found three days ago in the depths of his search for your digital ghost, the search that had consumed him so completely he had forgotten to eat, forgotten to sleep, forgotten that the ghost he was chasing was not a puzzle to be solved but a wound to be survived. He had opened the folder then, seen the thumbnail of you and Bruce covered in flour, and slammed the laptop shut with a violence that had cracked the screen. But he had not closed the folder. He had left it there, a bright, toxic sun burning in the cold digital architecture of the Batcomputer, waiting to be noticed.
Dick noticed.
He had drifted toward the console not out of curiosity but out of the gravitational pull of old habits—the big brother checking in, the caretaker making his rounds. His eyes skimmed the open folder, the string of emojis that you had chosen with such deliberate, ridiculous care, and his breath stopped in his chest. A sun. A bat. A bird. A sparkle heart. He understood instantly, the way a man understands he is about to be shot the moment before the trigger is pulled. These were not files. These were your memories. Your voice. Your laugh. The sound he had been trying and failing to recall with perfect clarity for three weeks, the sound that slipped away every time he reached for it like water through desperate fingers.
He stumbled backward, one hand flying to his mouth, the other grasping for something solid and finding only air. The nausea hit him in a wave—not the nausea of disgust but the nausea of standing at the edge of an abyss and feeling it call to you, whisper to you, promise you that falling would be so much easier than standing.
"Bruce." His voice cracked on the single syllable. He swallowed, tried again. "Bruce, you need to see this."
Bruce turned his head with the slow, mechanical precision of a man who had forgotten how to move his body and was re-learning the process through sheer will. His eyes—those dark, hollowed eyes that had seen cities burn and friends fall—flicked to the screen, and something in him that had been frozen solid for three weeks began, horribly, to thaw.
Within the hour, they were all assembled.
It was the first time since the alley that they had been in the same space without the buffer of a mission, without the excuse of strategy or the anesthesia of violence. They did not look at each other. They looked at the screen, at the folder, at the sub-folder labeled in your voice, your cadence, your impossible, irreverent joy: "FAMILY PROOF (watch together!!)."
Bruce's hand moved to the mouse. It was trembling again—not the tremor of age or exhaustion but the tremor of a man holding his own heart in his hands and preparing to squeeze. The cursor hovered over the first thumbnail. You, beaming, your arm slung around a stiff, furious Damian. "Dami's Glittery Defeat (Feat. Titus)."
He clicked.
Your voice filled the cave like light flooding a catacomb.
"Okay, for the record, this is not my fault."
Damian flinched. It was a small movement, barely perceptible—the tightening of his fingers on the katana's sheath, the sharp intake of breath that he immediately suppressed. But it was the first sign of life he had shown in days. Your voice was a key turning in a lock he had welded shut, and the door was beginning to open whether he willed it or not.
On screen, you were alive. Your face filled the frame, your eyes gleaming with that particular mischievousness that always brought Damian to the brink of murderous rage and back again. You were explaining the terms of the race, your voice mingling with barely suppressed glee, and then the camera turned and showed Damian—small, angry, self-important—sitting on the library floor with Titus's enormous head in his lap and a pink glittery brush in his hand.
"You cheated, L/N," the Damian on the screen snarled.
Your laugh answered him—a bell-like, cascading sound that seemed to resonate in the cave's vast darkness, finding every corner, every shadow, every heart.
The Damian on the floor did not move. But his eyes—those sharp, hawkish eyes that had learned to see threats in every shadow—were fixed on the screen with an intensity that bordered on violence. He was watching himself. The self that had existed in a universe where you were still alive. The self that had scowled and complained and secretly, desperately, treasured every moment of your attention. The self that had not yet learned what it meant to lose something irreplaceable.
"See?" your voice came again, soft now, gentle in the way you always were when you'd finished teasing and wanted to make sure the joke hadn't drawn blood. "Good things come in weird packages. This is a good thing, Dami. One Good Thing."
A sound escaped Dick's throat—not a sob, not yet, but the precursor to one, the tectonic shift that heralds an earthquake. One Good Thing. The ritual you had built, day by day, video by video, until it had become the foundation upon which this fractured family had learned to stand. You had given them a language for hope, and they had not realized until this moment that they had forgotten how to speak it.
Damian's tear was silent. It traced a path from the corner of his eye to the line of his jaw, a single silver thread in the blue glow of the monitor. He did not wipe it away. He did not acknowledge it. He simply watched, and remembered the feel of glitter on his fingers, the weight of Titus's head on his knee, the infuriating, irreplaceable sound of your laugh. He wanted to crawl into the video. He wanted to live inside that moment forever, a bug trapped in amber, frozen at the exact instant before the world ended.
Bruce did not pause. He could not pause. To pause was to feel, and to feel was to drown. He clicked the next video with the mechanical precision of a surgeon, or an executioner.
"Tim vs. The Pleasure Lagoon."
The thumbnail was absurd—Tim, bleary-eyed and horrified, holding a romance novel with a cover so lurid it seemed to glow. On the screen, the Tim of the past was hunched over his computer, lost in the labyrinth of code, while your voice, disembodied and theatrical, began to read prose so purple it was practically ultraviolet.
"Chapter fourteen. Rodrigo's cutlass was not the only hard thing pressing against Lady Seraphina's—"
"STOP!" the on-screen Tim shrieked, spinning with an expression of pure, primal terror.
The Tim in the cave did not smile. The Tim in the cave had buried his face in his hands the moment the video began, his cracked laptop forgotten on the floor, his shoulders hunched as if bracing for a blow. But the blow was not external. It came from within—the memory of that night, the exhaustion that had felt so monumental and now seemed so trivial, the way you had weaponized absurdity to pull him back from the brink. The parrot joke. God, the parrot joke. It was theirs, a secret stupid beautiful thing, and he would never hear you tell it again.
"It's the filth I'm subjected to," your recorded voice declared, "in order to get you to look away from a screen for five seconds. What's it gonna be? Sleep and a glass of water, or do I read the part with the parrot? Trust me, nobody wants the parrot part."
The video ended on your villainous cackle. The cave was silent. Tim's shoulders were shaking with a grief he could not voice—a grief that had no algorithm, no solution, no elegant code that could make it run cleanly and terminate. The failure, he understood now, was not in the data. The failure was in the world. The world that had allowed this. The world that had taken a girl who weaponized bad romance novels and left behind a silence that no amount of brilliance could fill.
Bruce clicked the next file. His hand was steadier now, but it was the steadiness of a man who had moved beyond feeling into a realm of pure, mechanical endurance. He was a diver descending into the wreckage of his own heart, and he would not stop until he reached the bottom.
"Jay and the Shakespearean Brood."
The setting was the Manor roof at dusk. Gotham's skyline jutted against a sky the color of a bruise, and you were leaning your head on Jason's shoulder, your legs dangling over the edge. Jason was smoking. The tip of his cigarette flared orange, a tiny sun in the gathering dark.
"So," your voice was gentle, stripped of the chaotic energy you brought to the other videos. "You've been in the brooding corner for three days. Bruce is getting worried his spot's been stolen."
Jason, the Jason on the screen, took a long drag. The silence stretched like a wound. "He's not worried, kid. He's just pissed I went too far with those dealers in the Narrows."
"Did you go too far?"
Another pause. Then, quietly: "Probably." He looked at you—the real you, the you who was holding the camera and asking questions no one else dared to ask—and his eyes, even through the screen, were full of a pain he had never learned to name. "Why do you do this? These videos."
You were quiet for a moment, and the quality of your silence was different from his—not a wound, but a lullaby waiting to begin. "Because… one day, it might all go to shit. It always does, doesn't it? We're the Wayne family. Chaos is in the job description. And I just… I want proof. Proof that we weren't just a war council. That we were… this." You gestured, a small, sweeping motion that encompassed the sunset, the skyline, the two of you. "A grumpy crime lord and a reformed pickpocket, watching a sunset and not killing anyone. That's a Good Thing, Jason. A really big one."
On the screen, Jason didn't answer. He just ashed his cigarette and put his arm around you, pulling you closer, and kissed the top of your head with a tenderness that seemed almost furtive, as if affection were a language he was still learning to speak. "You're a sap, Y/N," he murmured into your hair.
"One of us has to be," you whispered back. "It's a hard job, but someone's gotta do it."
The video ended on that image: the two of you, small and dark against the dying sky, holding on.
The sound that came from the shadows was not human.
Jason had not cried when he found you. He had screamed, a raw animal sound that had torn through the rain and echoed off the brick and offered no comfort, no release. But now, in the darkness of the cave, watching the ghost of a sunset he would never see again, he broke. It was not a quiet breaking. It was a rupture, a cataclysm, a sound that seemed to originate from somewhere deeper than his body—the sound of a soul that had already died once and now understood, with terrible clarity, that the second death was so much worse.
He turned and drove his fist into the wall. The rock split his knuckles, fresh blood welling over the half-healed scars, but the pain was a distant star, a pinprick of light in a void of agony. He struck the wall again. And again. And then his strength gave out, and he slumped against the cold stone, his forehead pressed to the rock, his shoulders heaving.
. The video had ended, and your ghost had receded into the machine, leaving behind only the echo of your words and the unbearable silence that followed.
Bruce had not moved. He had absorbed Jason's words the way he absorbed everything—in silence, without deflection, without defense. But something in him was shifting. The mask of the stoic general, the armor he had worn for so long it had fused to his skin, was cracking. His hand moved to the mouse with a deliberation that was almost ceremonial.
The final video. "Brucie's Birthday."
He clicked.
The sitting room at Wayne Manor. Firelight. Alfred behind the camera, his dignified presence steadying the frame. And you—you, alive, radiant, your purple streak catching the firelight, a pointy party hat in your hands—wrestling it onto Bruce's head while he sat in his sweater, looking for all the world like a man who had faced down gods and monsters but was utterly defenseless against a sixteen-year-old girl with a party hat.
"Y/N, this is undignified."
"It's a party hat, not a tiara, you big baby! See? He looks human!"
Alfred's laugh was a soft jiggle of the camera. You produced a cupcake, a single candle flickering in the dim room.
"Okay, Dad-Man. Make a wish. And don't say 'for a quiet night in Gotham.' The universe will laugh at you. You have to wish for something… good. For you."
The Bruce on the screen looked at you. The firelight caught the purple in your hair, the earnest command in your eyes. He closed his eyes. He wished. He opened them again, and the look he gave you was not Batman's. It was not the general's. It was a father's—raw, unguarded, full of a desperate, hopeful gratitude he had never been able to articulate. He blew out the candle. You whooped and lunged forward to smear frosting on his nose, and his laughter—his rare, full-bodied, human laughter—rumbled through the speakers like a benediction.
The video ended.
The cave was silent.
And then Bruce Wayne, the Dark Knight, the man who had built an empire on the unshakable foundation of his own will, placed his elbows on his knees and dropped his head into his hands. His shoulders began to shake. The sobs that came were silent at first—great, heaving convulsions that he tried to suppress, tried to contain, tried to armor against. But there was no armor for this. There was no protocol, no contingency, no strategy. There was only a father who had lost his child, and a wish made on a birthday candle that the universe had answered with the Joker's laugh.
Dick moved first. He crossed the space between them and placed a hand on Bruce's back—not as a soldier, not as a protégé, but as a son who understood, finally, that his father was not a monument. He was a man, and he was breaking.
Tim looked up from his hands. His face was wet, his eyes red, but something in the rigid architecture of his grief had shifted. He did not move toward Bruce—he was not ready for that, might never be ready for that—but he did not retreat either. He stayed. In the rubble of his shattered equations, he stayed.
Damian had not taken his eyes from the screen. The video was over, but your face was still there—frozen in the final frame, mid-laugh, frosting on your thumb. He reached out, slowly, and touched the screen with his fingertips. The glass was cold. Of course it was cold. What had he expected? Warmth? Life? You?
"Tt." The sound was barely audible, a ghost of his old disdain. But his voice, when he spoke, was not disdainful. It was empty. "You told me to find the good thing. But you took it with you. How am I supposed to find what you took?"
No one answered. The bats chittered in the distant dark. The stalactites dripped their slow, mineral tears.
Jason did not leave the shadows. He stood with his back against the wall, his bloody knuckles dripping onto the stone floor, his eyes fixed on the frozen image of your face. He had stopped crying. The well was dry, and what remained was a cold, adamantine fury that had no target and no outlet. You had told him not to let this send him back to the pit. You had told him to avenge you by remembering. But memory was a blade, and every moment of it cut.
The folder remained open on the Batcomputer. A sun, a bat, a bird, a sparkle heart. FAMILY PROOF. You had built it for them, a digital testament, a time capsule of light to be opened in the event of darkness. You had known—of course you had known, you had always seen more clearly than any of them—that the darkness would come. You had prepared for it. You had left them a map back to themselves.
But a map is only useful if the travelers are willing to follow it.
The Bat Family sat in their separate silences, bathed in the blue glow of a screen that held the last, fading echoes of your voice. They had come together to honor you. They had come together to find you. But grief is not a reunion; it is an archipelago. Each of them was an island, and the sea between them was rising.
Somewhere in the depths of the cave, a single bat detached itself from the ceiling and flew into the dark. The sound of its wings was soft, rhythmic, a heartbeat fading into silence.
And the sun did not rise.
///
When the sun goes out, the planets orbiting it continue to hurtle forward for a while, unaware of its absence. But the light does not return. The warmth does not return. And what was once a system turns into a graveyard; each planet in its own darkness, its own silence, its own endless winter.
When you died, you left them a map. But maps only work for those who have the courage to follow them. You had loved them. You had understood them. You had reminded them of one another. But remembering is not living. Remembering is a ghost. And ghosts cannot embrace, cannot comfort, cannot hold a family together.
The Gotham sky was as gray as ever. Wayne Manor was as silent as ever. Alfred was waiting in the kitchen, just as he always did. But the breakfast table was empty. The chairs were empty. And a world waiting for the sun to rise was frozen in an eternal twilight.
You had once told them to find "one good thing." But some darknesses are too deep to harbor even a single star. And some families, unfortunately, are too fragile to be saved.
All that remained was your voice in the videos, your laughter echoing in a dark cave, and a question that would never be answered again:
"What was today's good thing?"
The answer, forever, was silence.
///
The sun went out. The planets were lost. And the constellation never came together again.
content damian wayne & jon kent & wonder boy! reader, ftm! reader, m! reader, legacy, identity insecurity, brief dysphoria, emotional vulnerability, blood/injury, magical trial, references to damian’s league upbringing, pressure of being superman’s son, hurt/comfort, magical trial, blood/minor injury, cursed water, brief peril, references to damian being raised as a weapon, pressure of being batman’s son, pressure of being superman’s son, emotional distress
masterlist
word count 6.5k
author's note guys i actually love fics with like being trapped by mystical forces and being forced to confront your worst fears/insecurities. does this trope have a specific name??? also this fic made me incredibly sad as i was writing jon's part ;(
Damian Wayne did not believe in fate.
He believed in training. He believed in preparation, discipline, precision, surveillance, sharpened steel, escape routes, and the obvious fact that most people used the word fate when they meant poor planning.
The gods, in his opinion, were simply powerful beings with a branding problem.
You had told him this was a blasphemous thing to say on Themysciran soil.
He had looked you dead in the eye and said, “Good.”
Jon had choked on his water.
That had been three hours ago, before the temple door sealed behind you, before Jon’s powers flickered like a dying candle, before the marble floor split open beneath your feet and dropped all three of you into a cavern that should not have existed under the island.
Now Damian was standing in knee-deep black water, sword drawn, cloak soaked at the hem, glaring at a wall of ancient Greek script as if he could intimidate it into being less inconvenient.
Jon hovered half an inch above the water, then dropped into it with a splash.
He winced. “Okay. Flight’s still being weird.”
“Stop attempting it,” Damian snapped. “You are wasting energy.”
Jon wrung water out of his sleeve. “Good to know nearly dying didn’t improve your bedside manner.”
“We are not nearly dying.”
“You say that every time we are absolutely nearly dying.”
“I say it because panic is inefficient.”
“You also say it when you’re panicking.”
Damian’s head turned slowly.
Jon smiled with the brave idiocy of a boy who had known Damian Wayne long enough to understand danger and loved him enough to ignore it.
You stood between them, because that had become your job somewhere along the way.
Not officially. Officially, the three of you were equals: Robin, Superboy, Wonder Boy. The next generation of the old alliance. Bat, Super, Wonder. Shadow, sun, truth.
Unofficially, Damian and Jon could turn a tactical disagreement into a philosophical blood feud before most people finished blinking, and you had been raised among immortal warrior women with centuries-long grudges over poetry competitions. You knew how to stand in the middle of a storm and look unimpressed.
“Both of you,” you said, “save your breath.”
Damian’s gaze cut to you. “I have breath to spare.”
“Yes,” you said. “And you use it tragically.”
Jon grinned.
Damian looked betrayed. “You are taking his side?”
“I am taking the side of my sanity.”
“That is not a side. That is a doomed cause.”
“You would know.”
Jon made a tiny noise.
Damian’s eyes narrowed.
You raised one hand before he could start. “We are beneath a sealed Themysciran temple, standing in water that smells like old magic, surrounded by writing older than most mortal kingdoms. We can resume bickering once we are no longer inside what appears to be an underworld trial.”
Jon looked down at the black water.
It reflected nothing. Not your faces. Not the pale stone ceiling. Not the gold at your wrists or the red on your cloak.
Just darkness.
“Underworld trial,” Jon repeated. “That’s fun. That’s a fun thing to say.”
“It is not the literal Underworld,” Damian said. “The geography is impossible.”
You looked at him. He looked back.
“Fine,” he said. “The geography is more impossible than usual.”
The cavern stretched ahead in a long corridor of white stone veined with gold and red. Pomegranate trees grew from cracks in the walls, their roots sinking into the black water, their branches heavy with fruit the colour of fresh blood. The air smelled sweet and metallic.
At the far end of the corridor stood an archway.
Above it, carved into the stone, were three symbols.
A bat. A shield. An eagle.
Jon stared. “Okay, that feels targeted.”
“Most divine architecture is,” you said.
Damian glanced at you. “This is not divine.”
The pomegranate nearest him split open on the branch.
Its seeds glowed like rubies.
A voice moved through the cavern.
Not loud. Not soft.
Everywhere.
THREE HEIRS ENTER. THREE TRUTHS RETURN.
Jon went very still. Damian raised his sword.
You felt the words settle over your skin like cold rain.
Heirs.
You hated that word sometimes.
It was a beautiful word in stories. Heavy with lineage. Crowns. Blood. Oaths. The passing of torches from one hand to another.
In real life, it had teeth.
Damian heard heir and felt a chain. Jon heard heir and felt a mountain. You heard heir and wondered whether you had inherited something or interrupted it.
The voice came again.
BLOOD. SUN. TRUTH.
Damian’s jaw tightened.
Jon’s eyes flicked toward you, worried.
You forced yourself to breathe steadily.
“This is a test,” you said.
“Obviously,” Damian replied.
Jon swallowed. “Can we fail?”
The water rippled.
None of you moved.
Then, from somewhere in the dark ahead, a child laughed.
Damian’s whole body went rigid.
Not normal alertness. Not mission readiness.
Recognition.
You saw it in the way his sword dipped half an inch before snapping back up. In the sudden tension at the corner of his mouth. In the way his eyes sharpened into something too young and too old at once.
“Damian?” Jon asked.
Damian did not answer.
A shape stepped into view beneath the archway.
A boy.
Small. Barefoot. Blood on his white training tunic. A wooden practice sword clutched in one hand. His hair was dark, his green eyes bright and cold and far too familiar.
Damian at ten.
Jon breathed, “Oh.”
The child smiled. It was not a child’s smile.
“You are slow,” the vision said.
Damian’s face emptied. That frightened you more than anger would have.
“You are not real,” he said.
The child tilted his head. “Real enough to wound you.”
Damian stepped forward.
You caught his wrist.
His pulse hammered under your fingers.
He looked at your hand, then at your face, and for one instant, you saw the boy under the blade. Not the heir to Batman. Not the grandson of the Demon. Not Robin. Just Damian, furious that anyone had found the scar before he could hide it.
“Do not,” you said quietly.
His eyes flashed. “Release me.”
“No.”
Jon stepped to Damian’s other side. “D, it’s bait.”
“I know that.”
“Then don’t bite.”
“I said I know.”
The child in the archway laughed again.
“Still hiding behind them?” he asked in Damian’s voice. “How disappointing.”
Damian’s wrist flexed under your grip.
“You were trained better than this,” the child continued. “Mother expected more. Grandfather expected more. Even Father expected—”
Damian moved.
Fast.
Too fast.
He tore free from your hand and lunged.
The black water erupted. Roots surged up from beneath the surface, coiling around Damian’s legs, yanking him forward. Jon shouted and grabbed him around the waist. You threw your lasso without thinking, gold cutting through dark, wrapping around Damian’s wrist just as the roots tried to drag him under.
For a second, all three of you strained against the pull.
Damian snarled, slashing at the roots with his sword.
“Stop fighting the water!” you shouted.
“Absurd instruction!”
“It is feeding on resistance!”
Jon tightened his grip, boots skidding beneath the water. “Then what do we do?”
The child smiled.
THE BLOOD HEIR KNOWS ONLY THE BLADE.
Damian froze.
The roots tightened.
You saw pain flash across his face, quickly buried.
Something hot rose in you.
“No,” you said.
The cavern stilled.
Jon looked at you. Damian did too.
You stepped forward, lasso wrapped around one arm, water dragging at your legs.
“No,” you repeated, louder. “That is not truth. That is accusation.”
The air hummed.
The child’s eyes turned toward you.
“You speak for him?” it asked.
“I stand with him.”
Damian’s face shifted.
Just slightly.
The child smiled wider. “Because he cannot stand alone?”
Your grip tightened on the lasso. “Because he has had to for too long.”
The words landed.
Damian stopped struggling.
The roots loosened by a fraction.
You moved closer, never looking away from the apparition.
“You call him blood as if blood is destiny,” you said. “As if a boy must become whatever cruelty shaped him first. But blood is not command. Blood is memory.”
The cavern trembled.
Jon’s arms were still locked around Damian, holding him upright, holding him back.
You looked at Damian then.
His eyes were bright with fury. Or pain. Or both.
“You are not your grandfather’s blade,” you said.
Damian’s mouth parted.
“You are not your mother’s ambition. You are not your father’s fear.” Your voice softened. “You are not even your own worst lesson.”
The roots loosened more.
The child’s expression twisted.
Damian looked like he wanted to run you through and cling to you at the same time.
“You were trained to be a weapon,” you said. “But weapons do not choose mercy. You do.”
Jon’s breath caught.
Damian looked away sharply.
Too late.
You had seen it. The wound beneath the pride. The terrible, secret hope that maybe he was more than the thing that had been sharpened.
The child hissed, “Mercy is weakness.”
Damian’s head snapped back toward it.
“No,” he said.
His voice shook.
Only once.
Then it steadied.
“No,” he repeated. “Mercy is difficult.”
The water went still. The roots slipped from his legs and sank beneath the surface.
Jon did not let go immediately. Damian did not tell him to.
The child faded, leaving only the archway and the pomegranate trees and the echo of a laugh that no longer sounded powerful.
For a while, no one spoke.
Then Damian said, very quietly, “You may release me now.”
Jon’s arms loosened.
“Right,” he said. “Sorry.”
Damian stepped away, adjusting his wet cloak with exaggerated dignity. His face was composed again, but you could see the faint tremor in the hand holding his sword.
You moved toward him.
He stiffened.
So you stopped.
There were ways to approach a wounded animal. There were ways to approach a prince. Damian was both, though he would have removed your spleen for saying so.
“Are you hurt?” you asked.
“No.”
“Damian.”
His jaw tightened. “Not significantly.”
Jon looked down. “Your ankle.”
Damian glared. “Kent.”
“Your ankle is bleeding.”
“I am aware.”
“Then why did you say no?”
“Because it is not significant.”
You knelt in the water.
Damian stepped back. “Unnecessary.”
“Bleeding into potentially cursed underworld water is generally considered inadvisable.”
Jon nodded. “That sounds medically accurate.”
“You are not a doctor,” Damian said.
“No, but I grew up with Ma. ‘Don’t bleed in mystery water’ feels like something she’d support.”
Damian looked long-suffering, which was how he looked when he was losing and knew it.
You wrapped a hand around his boot carefully and lifted his ankle just enough to inspect the cut. It was shallow but messy, sliced open by one of the roots. You tore a strip from the inner lining of your cloak and tied it around the wound.
Damian watched you.
You felt his stare like the tip of a knife.
“What?” you asked without looking up.
“You are overly familiar.”
“You are bleeding.”
“That does not answer the charge.”
You tied the bandage snugly. “I am familiar because I care whether you bleed to death in theatrical locations.”
Jon made a strangled sound, somewhere between laugh and cough.
Damian’s ears went pink.
You decided, mercifully, not to comment.
Then Damian said, “I was not going to be dragged under.”
You finished the knot. “I know.”
His eyes narrowed. “You intervened as if I was.”
“I intervened because you should not have to prove you can survive alone while we are standing beside you.”
Damian went silent.
Jon’s expression softened.
You stood, water dripping from your cloak.
Damian looked away first.
The three of you continued through the archway.
Beyond it, the corridor widened into a chamber filled with hanging stars.
Not real stars. Small orbs of white fire suspended from the ceiling on golden threads. They swayed gently though there was no wind, casting fractured light across the water.
Jon stopped.
His face changed.
You and Damian noticed at the same time.
“Jon?” you asked.
He did not answer.
The stars brightened.
Then the chamber became a Kansas field.
Not fully. The black water remained underfoot, and the pomegranate roots still twisted along the walls, but suddenly there was tall grass around you, silver under moonlight. A farmhouse stood in the distance, windows glowing warm gold. The air smelled like soil and summer rain.
Jon’s breathing changed.
Damian stepped closer to him.
A voice called from the field.
“Jonathan?”
Jon flinched.
Clark Kent stood beneath the moon.
Not Superman. Not exactly. He wore the suit, yes, but the cape hung still behind him, and the shield on his chest seemed brighter than anything else in the world.
Beside him stood Lois Lane, arms crossed, expression unreadable.
Jon’s face went pale.
“This is not real,” Damian said immediately.
Jon swallowed. “I know.”
But knowing was not the same as not hurting.
The false Clark looked at him with terrible gentleness.
“Son,” he said. “You have to be better than this.”
Jon’s hands curled.
The false Lois sighed. “You carry so much power, Jon. You cannot afford mistakes.”
“That’s not my mom,” Jon whispered.
“No,” you said.
But the words had already entered him. You saw them burrow under his skin.
Jon Kent, who smiled like sunrise and cracked jokes when rooms got tense. Jon Kent, who could lift tractors before he understood taxes. Jon Kent, who had grown up with love so strong that people assumed pressure could not wound him.
The false Clark stepped closer.
“You have my name,” he said. “My symbol. My powers.”
Jon backed up half a step.
Damian moved with him, shoulder nearly touching his.
“Enough,” Damian said.
The false Clark ignored him.
“You must be kind,” he told Jon. “You must be strong. You must never frighten them. You must never fail in public. You must never lose control. If you break something, they will remember you are not human. If you hesitate, they will remember you are not Superman.”
Jon’s eyes shone.
Your chest ached.
The false Lois looked almost sad.
“And if you are hurt,” she said, “smile anyway. People need hope more than they need your honesty.”
Jon’s face crumpled.
Just a little.
But enough.
Damian’s sword was in his hand before you could blink. “This illusion is defective.”
He advanced.
The field darkened.
The hanging stars snapped their threads. One by one, they dropped from the ceiling and struck the water like meteors, bursting into white flame around you. Steam rose. Jon staggered, his powers flickering wildly. His eyes flashed red, then dimmed.
“Damian, wait!” you shouted.
Too late.
A ring of fire closed around Jon.
Damian swore and lunged toward him, but the flames rose higher.
You grabbed his arm. “Stop.”
“Kent is trapped.”
“Yes. And the trial is using your fear to intensify his.”
Damian’s face was terrifying.
You had seen him angry before. You had seen him cold. You had seen him strike with perfect violence and ruthless intent.
This was different. This was panic dressed as command.
“Then tell me how to break it,” he snapped.
Jon stood inside the fire, breathing hard, staring at the false versions of his parents.
“I don’t want it,” he said.
His voice was small.
The false Clark tilted his head. “What?”
Jon’s fists clenched.
“I don’t want to be Superman.”
The fire roared.
Damian went still.
You did too.
Jon looked horrified by his own confession, like the words had escaped before he could drag them back behind his teeth.
“I don’t mean—” He shook his head. “I love my dad. I love what he does. I love helping people. But everyone looks at me like I’m supposed to become him, and I can’t. I can’t be that good all the time. I can’t be that calm. I can’t be that safe.”
The false Lois watched him without mercy.
Jon’s voice broke.
“Sometimes I get angry. Sometimes I want to hit harder than I should. Sometimes I’m scared I’ll break someone just because I forgot how strong I am.” He pressed both hands over the shield on his chest. “And sometimes I hate this because everyone loves it before they know me.”
The fire dimmed.
Only slightly.
You felt Damian trembling under your hand.
He was staring at Jon like the world had shifted beneath him.
Because Jon was the sun.
That was the lie, wasn’t it?
Jon was warmth. Jon was laughter. Jon was the farm boy who believed in people until they believed in themselves. Jon was supposed to be easy to love because he made loving look easy.
But even the sun was fire. Even hope could burn its bearer alive.
You released Damian’s arm and stepped toward the flames.
They licked at your boots but did not burn.
Truth magic recognised truth magic.
“Jon,” you said.
He turned toward you, eyes wet.
“I don’t know how to be him,” he whispered.
“You are not meant to be him.”
The false Clark’s gaze sharpened.
You ignored it.
“You are not Clark’s second draft,” you said. “You are not Metropolis’s spare sun. You are Jonathan Kent.”
Jon laughed once, broken. “That’s the problem.”
“No,” Damian said.
His voice cut through the fire.
Jon looked at him.
Damian stood stiffly at the edge of the flames, jaw clenched, sword lowered at his side.
“That is the point,” Damian said.
Jon blinked.
Damian looked deeply uncomfortable, which meant what he was about to say mattered.
“I did not befriend you because you were Superman’s son,” he said. “In fact, that was initially a mark against you.”
Jon let out a watery laugh.
Damian’s mouth twitched, then flattened again.
“You were loud,” he continued. “Naive. Reckless. Untrained in basic stealth. Excessively optimistic.”
“Is this comfort?” Jon asked.
“Yes,” Damian snapped. Then, quieter: “I did not care for the symbol. I cared that you stayed.”
The fire lowered.
Jon’s face went still.
Damian looked away, but he kept speaking.
“You stayed when I insulted you. You stayed when I attempted to drive you off. You stayed when I was cruel because I believed cruelty would prove I did not need anyone.” His throat moved. “You saw me as a person before I had decided whether I wanted to be one.”
The false Clark flickered.
Jon stared at Damian like he had forgotten how to breathe.
Damian’s voice dropped.
“You are not valuable because you may one day become Superman. You are valuable because you are irritatingly, relentlessly yourself.”
You felt something in your chest unfold.
Jon took one step forward.
The fire parted around him.
He crossed the circle and stopped in front of Damian.
“You think I’m valuable?” he asked softly.
Damian’s ears turned red again. “I literally just said so.”
“Yeah, but you said it in Damian.”
“There is no other way I can say it.”
Jon smiled. It trembled.
Then he hugged Damian.
Damian went completely rigid. His sword arm lifted out to the side like a cat avoiding bathwater.
You pressed your lips together.
“Do not laugh,” Damian said over Jon’s shoulder.
“I would never,” you lied.
Jon held him tighter.
After a moment, Damian’s free hand settled, awkward and careful, against Jon’s back.
The false Clark and Lois dissolved into pale light. The field vanished. The chamber returned: black water, pomegranate trees, hanging golden threads with no stars left attached.
Jon pulled back, wiping at his face with his sleeve.
“Okay,” he said. “That was awful.”
“Agreed,” Damian said.
“You hugged back.”
“I prevented you from falling.”
“I was standing.”
“You are emotionally unstable.”
“So are you.”
“I am emotionally disciplined.”
You looked at him. Jon looked at him.
Damian scowled. “Do not start.”
You smiled faintly.
But your smile did not last.
Because the water had begun to move again.
This time, it moved toward you.
Not ripples. Not waves.
Hands.
Dark, liquid hands rising from the surface, reaching, reaching, reaching.
The cavern voice returned.
TRUTH HEIR. NAME YOURSELF.
Your breath stopped.
Damian and Jon turned toward you.
The hands rose higher.
They did not grab you.
Not yet.
They waited.
That was worse.
You felt the weight of the eagle on your chest. The gold bracers. The red cloak. The Themysciran blade at your hip. The armour Diana had watched being fitted to your body with pride so fierce it had nearly broken you.
Wonder Boy. Son of Themyscira. Truth heir.
Some days, those words made you feel like you could split the sky. Some days, they felt like borrowed armour.
The water around your legs turned cold.
Jon stepped toward you. “Hey. We’re here.”
Damian’s eyes sharpened. “What does it want?”
You knew. Of course you knew.
The trial had taken Damian’s bloodline and turned it into a blade. It had taken Jon’s legacy and turned it into a sun too bright to survive.
Now it would take your truth.
The black water lifted, smooth as glass, and became Themyscira.
Not the island as it was. The island as fear remembered it.
The training yard beneath a violet dawn. Stone columns. Olive trees. Bronze shields. Amazons standing in rows, silent and watching.
You saw yourself as a child in the centre.
Small. Barefoot. Hair cropped badly because you had cut it yourself with a ceremonial knife and cried afterwards because it still had not made your reflection feel right.
Diana knelt before the child version of you.
The real memory had been warm.
This one was not.
In the vision, Diana’s face was shadowed.
“A son?” someone whispered.
Another voice: “Themyscira has no sons.”
Another: “Then what is he?”
Your throat closed.
Jon moved closer. “That’s not real.”
“No,” you said.
But it had roots in something real.
Not rejection. Not hatred. You had been loved.
That was what made guilt such a clever knife.
The vision shifted.
You stood older now, perhaps twelve, holding a spear too long for your arms. An Amazon instructor circled you.
“You must understand,” she said, not cruelly, never cruelly, “you are unprecedented.”
Unprecedented.
The word had followed you for years.
Like a laurel. Like a leash.
The vision shifted again.
A reporter outside a museum smiling too brightly. “Wonder Woman’s little Amazon princess.”
Your stomach twisted.
Jon made a soft, angry sound.
Damian’s voice went cold. “Who said that?”
You almost smiled.
Almost.
The water rose to your waist.
The voice spoke again.
WHAT IS A SON OF AN ISLAND OF DAUGHTERS?
The Amazons in the vision stared.
The child-you stared too.
Waiting. Begging the future to know the answer.
You tried to speak.
Nothing came out.
The water climbed higher.
Jon’s hand found yours beneath the surface.
Warm. Strong.
“I’ve got you,” he said.
Damian stepped to your other side.
He did not touch you immediately. He looked at your face first, asking in his sharp, silent way.
You nodded.
His hand closed around your wrist like a vow.
Not soft. Not gentle exactly.
Certain.
The water stopped rising.
You dragged in a breath.
The vision-Diana stood in front of you now. But her eyes were not Diana’s. They were blank marble.
“You wear my symbol,” she said. “But does it fit?”
That one hurt. More than you expected.
Your fingers tightened around Jon’s hand. Damian’s grip tightened around your wrist.
The false Diana stepped closer.
“You were raised among women. Trained by women. Loved by women. Every story that made you was shaped by daughters, sisters, queens, mothers.” Her voice softened with awful precision. “Did becoming a son mean leaving them behind?”
“No,” Jon said immediately.
But the trial was not asking him.
It was asking you.
Your chest burned.
You thought of Diana kneeling before you when you were young, her hands open, her eyes full of fierce tenderness.
Then we will learn what kind of son an Amazon may raise.
You thought of Hippolyta placing a bronze training sword in your hands and saying, A child of Themyscira does not become less ours by telling the truth. You thought of the old rites Diana had found for you. Heroes of old. Beloved boys. Exiles, princes, warriors, poets. Achilles raging at the shore. Patroclus wearing borrowed armour out of love. Orpheus singing open the dark. Hyacinthus blooming red beneath Apollo’s grief. Odysseus returning home in rags and still being known.
Stories where manhood was not domination. Stories where love made and unmade kingdoms.
“I don’t know,” you whispered.
Jon turned toward you. “You don’t have to—”
“Yes,” you said, voice breaking. “I do.”
The water trembled.
The false Diana watched.
Your lungs hurt.
“I don’t know if it fits every day,” you said.
The admission felt like cutting yourself open in front of them.
Damian went very still.
Jon’s eyes softened.
You stared at the symbol on your chest.
“Some days I look at it and feel proud enough to glow. Some days I feel like everyone is being kind while secretly making room for a contradiction.” Your laugh was small and wounded. “The first son of Themyscira. Diana’s boy. Wonder Boy. It sounds beautiful until I am alone and wonder if I am an exception people praise so they do not have to admit I am lonely.”
Jon’s hand squeezed yours.
You kept going.
Because truth demanded its due.
“I was not raised to be what I am. Not at first. I was raised in songs meant for daughters, trained in traditions made by women who built paradise after men hurt them. And I love that. I love them. I love everything that made me.” Your voice shook. “But sometimes I am afraid my becoming made their story harder.”
The false Diana lifted her chin.
The Amazons whispered.
Damian spoke. “No.”
You looked at him.
His face was pale with controlled fury.
“No,” he repeated. “That is an accusation wearing your voice.”
You stared.
He looked almost angry at you for believing it.
“You told me blood is not command,” Damian said. “Then tradition is not a cage.”
The water dropped by an inch.
Jon nodded, stepping closer. “You didn’t make Themyscira harder. You made it bigger.”
Your throat tightened.
Jon’s eyes shone, but his voice stayed steady.
“You think being a son means you took something from its daughters,” he said. “But maybe it means everything they built was strong enough to hold more than anyone expected.”
The water dropped again.
Damian’s thumb pressed against your wrist, grounding you.
“You did not betray womanhood,” he said, stumbling slightly over the softness of the words but forcing them out anyway. “You were not deserting a battlefield. You were identifying the correct one.”
Jon blinked at him.
You did too.
Damian’s face flushed. “What?”
“That was…” Jon started.
“Do not.”
“Really good.”
“I said do not.”
You laughed. It broke out of you, half-sob and half-sunrise.
The false Diana flickered.
The water dropped to your knees.
The trial waited.
You understood then.
Your friends could stand with you. They could name the lie. They could hand you the thread.
But you had to weave.
You released Jon’s hand. Damian’s grip lingered for half a second before letting go.
You stepped forward.
The black water stilled around your legs.
The false Diana watched you. The Amazons watched you. The child-you watched you.
You placed one hand over the eagle on your chest.
“I am a son of Themyscira,” you said.
The cavern trembled.
You lifted your chin. “I was raised by women who survived. By warriors who turned pain into law and exile into sanctuary. I do not stand apart from that. I stand because of it.”
The false Diana’s expression cracked.
You kept going.
“I am not proof that Themyscira failed to remain unchanged. I am proof that truth was always its highest law.”
Jon smiled, bright and trembling.
Damian watched you like he was witnessing a blade being forged.
“I am not daughter, maiden, princess, or mistake,” you said. “I am not a contradiction for loving the hands that raised me. I am their son. Their student. Their brother-in-arms. Their heir.”
Gold light began to rise through the water.
Your bracers warmed. The lasso at your hip hummed.
“And if the world has no place for that yet,” you said, voice ringing through the chamber, “then I will make one.”
The vision shattered.
Not violently.
Beautifully.
The false Amazons dissolved into petals. The training yard became light. The child version of you smiled once before vanishing, and you felt something inside you reach backwards across time to take his hand.
The black water turned clear.
The pomegranate trees bloomed white.
For a moment, the cavern was full of spring.
Then the voice spoke one final time.
THREE HEIRS ENTERED. THREE CHOICES RETURN.
The archway at the far end opened.
Beyond it, stairs led upward.
Real sunlight spilled down them.
Jon exhaled shakily. “I love stairs. I’ve never loved stairs before, but I love these stairs.”
Damian sheathed his sword. “Focus.”
“I am focused. On stairs.”
You tried to take a step and nearly fell.
Both of them caught you.
Jon at your shoulder. Damian at your elbow.
“Whoa,” Jon said. “Easy.”
“I am fine,” you said automatically.
Damian gave you a look of pure disgust. “Do not start adopting my flaws. You lack the training.”
Despite everything, you smiled. “Your concern is moving.”
“My concern is practical. Carrying you would slow us down.”
Jon looked at him. “You would absolutely carry him.”
Damian looked offended. “That is irrelevant.”
“You already thought about the best way to do it.”
“Obviously. That is called preparedness.”
You leaned slightly against Jon, suddenly too tired to pretend. “I can walk.”
Damian’s expression softened by one impossible fraction. “We know.”
Jon smiled. “We’re still helping.”
So they did.
The three of you climbed the stairs together: Robin, Superboy, Wonder Boy. Blood, sun, truth. Three heirs who had entered a trial and come out less like inheritors and more like boys who had chosen, again and again, not to become what fear demanded.
At the top of the stairs, the temple opened into dusk.
The real Themyscira spread before you. Olive trees silver in the evening light. White cliffs dropping into a wine-dark sea. Training yards ringing faintly with distant laughter and steel. The sky blushed pink and gold, soft as a blessing.
Jon breathed in. “Oh wow.”
Damian looked around, still alert. “We emerged approximately forty meters east of the original entrance.”
“You are allergic to wonder,” Jon said.
“I am allergic to imprecision.”
You stepped out from between them, letting the island air fill your lungs.
Home.
Still complicated. Still yours.
For a while, none of you spoke.
Then Damian said, “The trial was wrong.”
You looked at him.
He was facing the sea, not you.
Classic Damian. Emotional honesty delivered indirectly, like contraband.
“About which part?” you asked.
His jaw flexed.
“That you are a contradiction.”
Your chest tightened.
Jon smiled softly, looking down at his boots.
Damian continued, each word careful. “You are… irritatingly consistent.”
A laugh escaped you. “Thank you?”
“He means you’re you everywhere,” Jon translated. “On missions. In temples. When calling us out. When bleeding. When making myth references nobody asked for.”
“I ask for them,” you said.
“No, you inflict them.”
Damian nodded. “A rare moment of Kentian accuracy.”
Jon grinned. “Kentian?”
“Do not make me regret the phrasing.”
You looked between them, warmth spreading through the ache.
Damian glanced at you, then away.
“What I mean,” he said, quieter, “is that the symbol fits because you refuse to let it remain too small.”
Oh.
You swallowed.
Jon’s smile faded into something tender.
“Damian,” you said softly.
He stiffened. “Do not make this sentimental.”
“We are far past that.”
“We are not.”
“You hugged Jon in the underworld.”
“I stabilised him.”
Jon’s grin returned. “With your arms.”
Damian pointed at him. “You are on thin ice.”
“We were in water, actually.”
“You nearly cried in fire.”
“I did cry in fire.”
“Worse.”
You laughed, and the sound carried into the evening.
A group of Amazons training in the distance turned toward you. One raised a hand in greeting. You lifted yours back.
Jon watched the exchange.
“Does it feel different?” he asked.
You looked at him.
“After saying it like that?” he clarified.
You considered lying.
Not because you wanted to hide from them, but because vulnerability was exhausting. Even truth needed rest.
But Jon had stood in fire and admitted he did not want to be Superman.
Damian had faced the child trained to kill tenderness and chosen mercy.
You could be brave too.
“A little,” you said. “Not fixed. But… clearer.”
Jon nodded. “Clearer is good.”
“Yes.”
Damian looked at the sea. “Clarity is preferable to comfort.”
Jon sighed. “Buddy.”
“What?”
“Sometimes comfort is allowed.”
Damian scoffed.
You tilted your head. “Do you object to comfort philosophically or only when it is offered to you?”
Damian’s eyes narrowed. “You are both insufferable.”
Jon beamed. “We’re helping.”
“You are conspiring.”
“Also helping.”
You looked down at Damian’s bandaged ankle. “Speaking of help, that needs to be cleaned properly.”
“It is fine.”
“Damian.”
He glared.
You crossed your arms.
Jon crossed his arms too, purely for moral support.
Damian looked between you and realised, with visible irritation, that he was outnumbered.
“Fine,” he snapped. “But if anyone tells Pennyworth I sustained an injury due to magical shrubbery, I will deny it.”
Jon’s face lit up. “Magical shrubbery.”
“No.”
“Too late.”
“I will end you.”
“You’ll have to catch me.”
“You currently have unreliable flight.”
Jon paused. “That is hurtful and tactically accurate.”
You shook your head and started toward the infirmary path.
They followed. Of course they followed.
The path wound along the cliffside, past cypress trees and marble statues older than the languages most people spoke. The sea below moved dark and endless, gold from the sunset scattered across its surface like coins for the dead.
You thought of the trial.
Blood. Sun. Truth.
You thought of Damian saying mercy is difficult. Jon saying he did not want to be Superman. Your own voice saying, I am their son.
The words still frightened you.
But they also stood.
Like pillars. Like proof.
Halfway down the path, Jon fell into step beside you. Damian walked on your other side, slower than usual because of his ankle, though he would never admit it.
Jon looked thoughtful.
“You know,” he said, “earlier, when you said you’d make a place if the world didn’t have one?”
“Yes?”
“That felt very New Big Three.”
Damian made a sound of disdain. “That phrase remains ridiculous.”
“You like it.”
“I do not.”
“You like being included in it.”
“I tolerate the strategic implications.”
You smiled. “That means yes.”
“It means no.”
Jon leaned closer to you and stage-whispered, “It means yes in Damian.”
“I am standing right here.”
“We know,” Jon said cheerfully.
Damian muttered something in Arabic that you suspected was unflattering.
The infirmary came into view, white stone glowing in the evening light. Before you reached it, Damian stopped.
You and Jon turned.
He looked deeply uncomfortable.
Then he said, “Kent.”
Jon blinked. “Yeah?”
Damian stared at the ground for a moment, visibly wrestling his own pride into submission.
“You are not your father,” he said.
Jon’s smile faded.
Damian forced himself to look up. “And I am not saying that as an insult.”
Jon’s throat moved. “I know.”
“You are less controlled,” Damian said. “More impulsive. You ask too many questions. You show too much of what you feel on your face. You have abysmal instincts regarding secret identities in public spaces.”
Jon huffed a wet laugh. “Still comfort?”
“Yes,” Damian said, annoyed. “Obviously.”
You kept very still.
Damian’s voice softened, barely.
“But you are also more willing to believe people can become better before they have given you evidence. That is foolish.” A pause. “And occasionally necessary.”
Jon’s eyes shone.
Damian looked away. “You should not become Superman. The position is occupied.”
Jon laughed for real then.
Then he stepped forward and hugged Damian again.
This time, Damian sighed but did not freeze.
His hand lifted after only a second and gripped the back of Jon’s shirt.
Progress.
You smiled down at the path.
Then Jon reached out blindly and grabbed your wrist, tugging you into the hug too.
“Oh,” you said.
Damian made a protesting sound. “Kent.”
“Nope,” Jon said, voice thick. “Group hug. You’re both trapped.”
“This is undignified.”
“Yes.”
“We are in public.”
“Good thing you’re emotionally disciplined.”
You laughed into Jon’s shoulder.
Damian’s glare could have cut glass, but he did not let go.
For a moment, held between them, you felt the strange shape of the three of you.
Damian, who had been given bloodline like a sentence and was learning to make it a choice. Jon, who had been born under the brightest symbol on Earth, was learning that hope did not mean never hurting. You, who had been raised by an island of women and had become its son without leaving them behind.
Not perfect. Not finished.
But real.
When the hug finally broke, Damian immediately stepped back and adjusted his tunic.
“I expect this never to be discussed again.”
Jon wiped his face. “Absolutely. We’ll only bring it up constantly.”
“You will regret that.”
“Probably.”
You smiled. “We should get your ankle treated before you attempt murder.”
“Finally,” Damian said. “A sensible suggestion.”
The infirmary lights were warm.
One of the Amazon healers greeted you by name, then looked at Damian’s ankle, Jon’s singed sleeve, your exhausted posture, and sighed like every healer in every culture across every realm had sighed at reckless young heroes.
“Sit,” she ordered.
All three of you obeyed.
Damian looked furious about it. Jon looked relieved. You looked out the window toward the sea.
The first stars had appeared over Themyscira.
Old stars. Sharp stars. The kind that looked hammered into place by gods with steady hands.
You wondered, suddenly, whether they had always known you would stand beneath them as a boy. Whether the island had been waiting not with certainty, but with possibility. Whether belonging was not a doorway you passed through once, but a vow you kept building around yourself, stone by stone, name by name, hand by hand.
Damian sat rigidly while the healer cleaned his ankle. Jon pretended not to watch, then watched anyway. You leaned back against the wall, tired down to the bone.
After a while, Damian glanced at you.
“What?” you asked.
“You are smiling.”
“Am I?”
“Yes. It is concerning.”
Jon leaned around the healer. “I think he’s happy.”
Damian frowned. “After all that?”
You looked at them both.
The sun boy and the blood heir. Your impossible friends. Your fellow heirs. Your new myth, still being written in wet ink and stubborn choices.
“Yes,” you said.
Jon smiled.
Damian looked away, but the corner of his mouth softened.
Outside, the sea kept moving. Inside, the three of you sat close enough for your shoulders to touch.
And above you, the stars burned on: ancient, watchful, and for once, not distant at all.
Summary: Jack takes the time to relax his gal so she’s comfortable with him seeing her in light and naked for the first time
WC: ~5.2k
Warnings: contraception mentioned (condom and birth control), body worship, insecurities, anxiety, poor body image/self esteem, body dysmorphia if you'd like to read that into it, he talks you through it, praise kink, fingering, penetrative sex, accidentally ruined orgasm, poor attempts at comedy, brief mention (in jest) of Langdon getting Jack’s sloppy seconds and how strong his swimmers must be
Note: I tried to keep his disability in mind when writing the positions. It’s probably not perfect by any means.
@bookwyrmsposts
-
As Jack kissed your neck as you both sat on the bed, you reached for the lamp on the nightstand to turn it off. His hand shot out to grasp your wrist loosely.
“Don’t.” He murmured into your neck. “Please…can I see you?”
His other hand slid up your back, soothingly rubbing up and down it. A shiver went down your spine. His thumb caressed your wrist.
You were silent and he let you be silent until you decided to answer him. “I’m scared, Jack.”
You could curse yourself for how soft and small your voice sounded right now, for how it sounded in front of him of all people.
“Of me?” His stubble tickled your neck as he nuzzled his face against it.
“Of what you’ll think of me…of my body.” You murmured softly.
He pulled away from your neck to look you in the eyes. His expression was very serious now. “Oh…oh, sweetheart.”
He let go of your wrist and cupped your face with both hands, his thumbs stroking your cheeks.
“It’s stupid, I know.” You again murmured, and you shook your head a bit.
“It’s not.” He assured you. “Really, it’s not.”
“Rationally, I should know you’re not gonna just walk out that door.” You gestured to his bedroom door.
“I’d have to put my leg back on first or grab my crutches before I did that. So, it’d really just be a hell of a lot easier just to stay put.”
You cracked a smile at that. You knew that even if he was still fully able to jet out of the room very fast upon seeing you fully naked in light for the first time, he wouldn’t. He returned it because he knew as well that he wouldn’t do that.
“There it is.” He cooed affectionately as his thumbs continued to stroke your cheeks. “There’s that beautiful smile.”
“You’ll stay because you want to stay.” You spoke softly (above a murmur at least now).
“Damn straight.” He confirmed, a smile on his own face now. “But the mind isn’t always rational, is it?”
“No, it’s not.” You huffed. “And it sucks. And I hate it.”
“Everyone hates irrational thoughts. It’s kinda a given.”
“I just can’t… push through it.”
“I’m not a therapist but maybe I can at least try and help you through it. Sure, I have my own selfish reasons for wanting you to be more comfortable in front of me with less clothes on, but I’d also like to think this could positively impact your mental wellbeing as well as our relationship.”
You looked at him. “You’d really do that for me?” You asked him softly.
His hands left your face to squeeze your shoulders. “‘M not going anywhere, sweetheart. I’m right here.”
You relaxed into his side as he rubbed your arms up and down.
“That’s it, just breathe deeply for me. I’m not going anywhere. I’m right here with you in this moment.”
He made no move to remove your clothing. His only priority was to make sure you were comfortable.
“Tell me what you feel right now.” He requested softly.
“Your hands on me, rubbing.” You answered him.
“Does it feel good? Safe? Comfortable?”
“Yes.” You confirmed.
“May I keep going?”
You nodded. “Mhm.”
“I won’t stop until you tell me to, then. I won’t do anything else unless you tell me to, okay?”
“Okay.”
“Just gonna keep going…up and down…just like that…”
The repetition lulled you into a state of relaxation. Your nerves weren’t on edge anymore. Your heart wasn’t beating so fast you were afraid it was gonna jump out of your chest anymore.
“Still feeling good?” He checked in on you.
“Mhm. You can…take my shirt off.” You murmured softly.
“Can the light stay on?” He requested.
“Yes.” You confirmed.
His hands glided up your sides slowly, gently, and he took your shirt with them, pulling it over your head, leaving you in your bra.
“Want your bra to stay on?”
“Y-Yes…for now…”
“Okay. Can I keep rubbing your arms?”
“Mhm.”
Your body slowly gravitated toward him again as he continued to rub his hands up and down your arms until your head rested back against his chest.
“Just keep breathing evenly for me.” He kissed your head. “You’re doing great. Slow, deep breaths. Just stay relaxed for me.”
“Are we going too slow for you?” You wondered aloud.
“Not at all. I want you to be completely comfortable. Your clothes come off only when you want them to. Not a moment sooner.”
Fear crept in again. “I just don’t want to…to ruin this…”
One hand left your arm to cup your cheek, tilting your head up to look at him. “Hey, look at me. You could never ruin anything, okay? You’re not ruining it, I promise.”
It took you a few seconds to process this because your brain was screaming at you about all the ways you were in fact fucking ruining this for the both of you. “Okay.”
“Yeah?”
You nodded, trying to will your body to relax again and trying to will your mind to shut the fuck up. “Yeah.”
“Good girl.” He praised you. “Just stay nice and relaxed for me. We’ll just go nice and slow. We’re not in any hurry. We’ve got all night long.”
He laid you back upon the bed and kept slowly caressing your skin. You felt your eyelids get heavier.
“That’s it,” he coaxed, “close your eyes. Relax. I’ll do all the work. You’ve just gotta tell me what to do.”
“My bra…can come off now…” You said it slowly because you still weren’t exactly eager to remove more clothing but you did feel relaxed and safe with him. You weren’t so resistant to the idea of getting naked for him (or him getting you naked) as you were before but you still weren’t ready to give him a lap dance and a strip tease (but maybe he could convince you one day to do just that. That day was just not today and that was okay).
“Yeah? Lemme just get that for you, then.” He unclasped it and pulled it off of you. “Theeeere we go.”
You were now bare from the waist up with the lights on for the first time ever in front of him.
“You’ve got a nice pair of tits, baby. Anyone ever tell you that?”
You chuckled softly. “You, a time or two.”
“Only a time or two? I’ve gotta up my game a little, then because I seem to be rusty.”
You shook your head, a soft smile gracing your face. “You’re not rusty.”
“No? Well that’s good to know. I’d hate to think I’m fumbling with this, that I’m fumbling you.” He chuckled as his thumbs caressed your sides.
“You’re not. You’re doing really great.” You had never felt so relaxed in front of a guy with the lights on in your entire adult life.
“I’m delighted to hear that. Can I touch your breasts now? Would that be alright?” He tried to not seem so eager as to not make you feel pressured to yield to his wants and needs before your own (although he fucking loved your tits, he still wanted you to feel comfortable and in control).
“Be careful.” You reminded him. “They’re sensitive. Sometimes I don’t like being touched there.”
“Just tell me to stop or push my hands away.” He reassured you. “I promise you’re in control here.”
His hands slowly glided up to cup your breasts. He was slow and reverent. This wasn’t about him and his pleasure to him. This was about you and your comfort.
“Still just gonna go nice and easy and slow.” He murmured. “Gonna see if your nipples can perk up for me here.”
He began to pinch them between his fingers teasingly, not roughly or hard because that might make you uncomfortable and he absolutely did not want to make you uncomfortable or cause you any pain.
“There they go…” he marveled at the pebbles. “You still good with this?”
You were so fucking relaxed at this point, on your back, eyes closed. You smiled easily and nodded, humming contentedly. “Mhm.”
“You’re doing great for me, sweetheart.” He praised you again. “I’m really fucking proud of you.”
An involuntary whimper made its way out of you at his words. You liked being told that you were doing something well or right. It made you feel good.
“You’re being so nice to me.” You whispered softly, emotions welling up in you a little bit.
He chuckled softly. “I care about you. Of course I’m being nice. Don’t act like you’re so surprised a guy is treating you like you’re the most precious thing in the world. You’re just gonna have to get used to this, sweetheart.”
You smiled and chuckled slightly in response. “I guess you’re right.”
“You’re gonna have to get used to my kisses, to my devotion.” He kissed across your bare neck and chest.
You smiled and chuckled once again, wider, more prolonged.
“See? You’re beautiful. Lamp on…glowing. God, I love you. I’d like to take your shorts off now, can I do that?”
Fear bubbled up inside of you once again at that thought. Your stomach…abdomen…thighs. He could see the uncertainty morph onto your face.
“You don’t have to be afraid of anything with me.” He tried to reassure you once again. It soon turned to pleading. “Please don’t think I’ll forsake you. You are far too precious to me for me to just abandon you here like this. I want to love you. I want to cherish you. Please believe me when I say these things, when I touch you so reverently.”
“And I want to be on the receiving end of that so fucking badly.” You whispered softly as you opened your eyes to look at him. “I just have these stupid mental hang ups.”
“I’m here to try and reassure you. I wish I could just take all your fears away from you. But you ultimately have to pitch in a little bit to help yourself.”
You sighed and nodded. “I know I do.” That part might just be the hardest part.
“But I’m not gonna leave you. I’m not gonna get frustrated with you. I am right here with you. I promise.”
You took several deep breaths and he let you just breathe. “Okay…you can take my shorts off now. Slowly.”
“Roger that, ma’am.” He affirmed and then went to untie your shorts slowly, as requested.
He hesitated before pulling them down slowly, peeling it off your body.
“Atta girl…nice and slow.” He murmured. His hands ran up your legs. “We can leave your panties on for a bit, yeah?”
“Okay.” You nodded, that sounded acceptable, comfortable. “Thank you.”
He smiled. “No problem. Just let me look at ya like this.” His gaze ran from the top of your head to the bottom of your feet. “Fuck, you’re gorgeous, sweetheart.”
He kissed all over your exposed skin. “I’m so proud of you for letting me see you like this with the lights on. I know how hard this probably is for you. But I need you to understand how honored and privileged I feel right now.”
His kisses and his caresses worked to further relax you and you feel your body sink into the mattress and your head sink into the pillow. Your eyelids grow heavy again.
“You’re doing so well for me. Are you more comfortable with your eyes closed like that?”
“Something wrong with it?” You questioned.
“Just wouldn’t want you to be hiding from yourself.”
“Just be grateful I’m not crying while I lay here in only my underwear with the lamp on.”
“Noted.” He knew he shouldn’t push you. If he pushed you too far or pushed for too much, you might shut down on him and all this progress would be lost. And he definitely didn’t want that to happen.
He just kissed and caressed every bit of exposed skin of yours until your eyes were closed, your body was relaxed, and your breathing was even.
He kissed your cheek. “Still awake for me?”
You nodded and hummed. “Mhm. Consciousness confirmed.”
“Do you think your panties can come off now?” His hands caressed your sides.
“Slowly. And don’t go back to touching me for at least a minute, okay?”
“Roger that. I’ll probably be too awestruck by your beauty to act for at least two minutes anyway.”
You scoffed. “Flatterer.”
“Not if it turns out to be true.” He kissed your other cheek and then pulled away slightly to tug your panties down. “Lift up a bit for me. Theeere you go.”
He pulled your panties all the way down your legs as you settled back down on the bed. True to his word, he did not touch you. In fact, he didn’t even speak. You felt your heart rate increase slightly, thinking maybe he had somehow moved.
“Jack?”
“Right here, sweetheart. I didn’t go anywhere. Just over here sitting on the edge of the bed.”
You cracked an eye open to indeed find him sitting on the edge of his bed, neck craned back to look at you. “What’re you doing all the way over there?
“I was thinking maybe you could come sit on my lap, give my leg a bit of a rest.”
“Is it bothering you?”
“Only a bit. But it’s not so bad.” He was massaging his stump, though while he talked to you, “I’d feel better if I had a woman in my lap, though.”
You slowly rose from your position on your back and were astonished to find your body felt like goo after all the foreplay you’d endured. You scooch over to where Jack is and slowly plant your feet on the ground. You came around to stand in front of him in all of your naked glowing glory.
“Just stay there for a second, actually. Can I just… look at you? Please?” He requested softly.
You stood there awkwardly at first, not being able to meet his eye but when you do happen to glance at him, you’re met with the gaze of a man who looks like he absolutely wants to devour you.
“Jack?” You asked softly.
It took him a second to process that you’d said his name and it took him another second to respond to you, his voice thick with arousal. “Yeah, sweetheart?”
“Do you um… really like what you see?”
“I absolutely adore the woman I’m looking at right now.”
“Would you… like me in your lap now?”
“I would fucking love that actually.”
You slowly approached him and hoisted yourself up into his lap, straddling him. You wrapped your arms around his neck and he wrapped his arms around your waist. You were face to face with him and you were both completely naked. It was new. It was scary. It was exciting.
“Well hello there.” He purred as he smirked at you.
“H-Hi…” you smiled softly back at him.
“Comfortable?”
You nodded. “Mhm. Are you?”
“I’m just fine.”
“So do I just… um… I actually don’t know how to do this.” You murmured, embarrassed.
“Plant your feet on the edge of the bed.”
You did so.
“There you go. Now I can grasp your gorgeous ass like this and help you out.” He demonstrated by taking a hold of your ass and moved you against him.
You used your braced feet on the edge of the bed to help move your body for thrusting.
You both only emulated the motions for now and he was not penetrating you yet. You were just moving your crotch against his.
“I know I didn’t touch your clit before so I dunno how wet you are now. But I can use one hand for now to help you out with that if that’s what you need.”
“Y-Yeah, I think that’d be good.” You weren’t entirely sure about any of this right now but you were more than willing to let him help you out.
With one hand still on your ass to help you move, his other hand moved to your vulva to find your clitoris to rub it to hopefully make his fat cock not so painful inside of you.
“Keep moving, sweetheart. Keep that rhythm. It’s good practice for when I’ll be stretching you out.”
You shuddered when that image of his cock in your cunt flashed through your mind. He’d taken you before (mostly in the spooning position) but you’d never forget what he feels like inside of you and the thought of it always sent a shiver through you.
“Gonna get you nice and ready for me first, don’t worry, sweetheart.” He assured you as he rubbed your clit in time with your hips meeting his. “You’ve been so good for me so far, so fucking brave. I couldn’t be prouder of you. I know you can hold out for me. I know you can let me see all of you as you take me. I believe in you. Do you believe in yourself?”
“I-I do.” But it was said too softly.
He pressed his forehead to yours, his nose touching yours, his lips so close to yours. “I can’t fucking hear you. Lemme hear it, yeah?” He rasped.
You took a deep breath and mustered up all the built up confidence. “I believe I can let you see me take your cock in the lamplight.”
“Atta fuckin’ girl.” He planted a firm kiss to your lips as he continued to rub your clit and help you rock against him. “You feel me? Gettin’ so fuckin’ hard for you like this.”
“You always do.”
“Damn straight. You’re my special lady. Can’t get enough of you.” He slipped a finger inside of you. “Nice and wet for me. Good girl. We’ve still got lube if you need it, though.”
“I think I’m good actually.”
“I’d have to agree. Natural lubrication seems to be adequate.” He slid another finger in beside the first one. “Gonna get you nice and stretched out.”
You always managed to forget how thick his fucking fingers were. Two just barely fit right now. But his thumb was still circling your clit and he just kept on talking to you in that deliciously low gravelly bedroom voice reserved just for you. “Taking my fingers so good, doll. We’re just gonna keep going like this, okay? Gonna try to make you cum real good.”
“Oh-Okay.” You nodded, acknowledging his plan.
“Gimme a kiss, love.” He requested.
You leant forward and so did he so he could catch your lips with his own. “Stroke my cock a bit? Your hand always feels better than mine.”
Your hand wrapped around his cock to stroke him a bit with the condom on while he still was rubbing your clit and working his fingers in and out of you. His teeth nipped your bottom lip before he sucked on it briefly.
“That’s it, fuuuck, just like that.” He moaned into your mouth. “Clit still feeling good?”
“Mhm.” You murmured into his mouth. “Feels pretty good.”
“Good.” He increased the pace of his thumb and his fingers. He knew you needed a good clitoral orgasm before he put his dick in you.
You stretched out pretty well on his fingers so he withdrew them to focus more on your clit. You were having a tiny bit of trouble getting there still which wasn’t unusual for you so he briefly withdrew his fingers from your clit to bring them to your mouth.
“Unless you want the lube from the nightstand.” He offered.
“We can try this.”
He slid his fingers into your mouth for you to suck on and get wet. Once they were adequately lubricated with your saliva, he pulled them from your mouth and continued the stimulation to your bundle of nerves.
After several more minutes of stimulation, you started to mewl/moan.
“Cum for me, baby, come on.” He encouraged you. “I know you can do it.”
You held onto him with your arms around him, your face buried in his neck. But that just wouldn’t do.
He made a disapproving noise. “Come on, doll, lemme see your face when you cum for me. I want you to look at me when you go over the edge.”
You pulled back to look at him and the heat of his gaze was enough to send a flutter through your tummy.
“Jack.” You whined softly.
“That’s it. That’s my girl. You’re almost there. Just a little bit more. You can do it. Come on. Just let yourself relax into it. Feel it building. Let it overtake you.”
He knew exactly how to talk you up, talk you through it so you could experience that ecstasy, that bliss, that oblivion.
His ceaseless rubbing and his low voice in this intimate setting whilst he was seeing you naked for the first time was overwhelming to you and you had no choice but to give in to the building up of everything inside of you.
“‘M gonna, I’m gonna cum, Jack, fuck!”
“That’s it. Cum for me. Cum.” He commanded gruffly as he kept rubbing your clit at the perfect pace in the most perfect way to tip you over the edge, making you clutch at his shoulders as you cried out, hips moving into his hand.
He rubbed your back to soothe you through it as he gradually decreased his pace on your clit before he withdrew his hand.
“There you go. That’s my good girl. You were great for me, so fucking good.” He held you in his arms for a couple of minutes to let you recover.
“Think you’re wet enough now?” He murmured into your ear.
This caused you to chuckle lightly. “I’d say so.”
“Keep holding onto me, hon.”
He planted his hands on your ass as you maneuvered again so you had good footing and could sink down on his cock. He wasn’t super long, about average length for a US male when erect. But he was actually a bit girthier than the average US male when erect.
“Nice and slow. Nice and slow. Theeeere you go, sweetheart.”
You slowly moved yourself up and down him, his hands on your ass helping you move and find a rhythm as skin began to slap against skin.
As you were focusing on keeping a rhythm, Jack was focused on how your hips were moving against his. He’d never seen you like this, in light. You’d always insisted on darkness. But you were working on this right now, weren’t you? And boy, was he grateful you’d allowed him to ease you into this because you looked so out of your head right now and so focused on fucking yourself on his cock.
“You’re doing great, baby. Keep up the good work. I’ve got you supported on this end.” He squeezed your generous ass
“This is…harder than I anticipated.” You chuckled lightly as you played with the curls at the nape of his neck.
“We can move onto our sides if you need us to.” He offered as that was, after all, how you usually had sex in the darkness (it’d be too hazardous to try this current position in the dark because you couldn’t see and could fall off the bed).
“N-No, I’m okay. Just trying something new, right?”
“Only if you’re comfortable with it.”
“I like seeing your face.”
“I love seeing these gorgeous tits.” One hand of his left your ass to grope one of your breasts. He loved seeing your face too, obviously.
“They’re not that great.” You mumbled.
“Excuse me?” He acted personally offended by your statement. “What did you just say about my favorite pair of tits?”
“I thought that was Raquel Welch…”
He gave you a disapproving look. “Raquel Welch is not my partner. You are.”
“Doesn’t mean my tits are better.”
“To me, they are.” He pinched your nipples. “This still okay?”
You nodded. “Mhm.”
He smiled. “Good.” He lifted your breast and lowered his head so he could take an areola in his mouth.
Getting back into a good thrusting rhythm, you’d been able to rub your clit against his pubis as you’d ground down.
He hissed around your areola. “That’s it, baby, take me all the way like that.”
You were fit so snug and comfortably around him that he wasn’t sure how much longer he was gonna last inside of you.
“Can I move you a little faster, hon, would that be alright?”
“Should be, yeah.”
“Alright. Let’s go a little faster now.”
With his help, you achieved an increased rhythm that helped to stimulate the both of you, increasing the amount of time or number of times your clit spent/was against his pubis and the friction of your walls against his cock in the condom.
“That’s it, love. Fuck. Keep going jus’ like that. Keep going. Keep going.” He encouraged you and you obliged him.
His breathing increased (as did yours) against your face as he stared directly into your eyes. “‘M gonna c-cum for you, keep lookin’ at me like that. That’s it. Lemme see those pretty eyes.”
He squeezed your ass as he bounced you on him a bit faster until a broken hiccup worked its way from his throat and he was spurting inside of you into the condom. You were on birth control as well to double the protection. He slowly decreased the pace with you until movement ceased.
“Just gimme a sec and I’ll finish you off a second time. Promise.”
“That’s okay. Take your time.”
“Want you to benefit while you’re still sensitive. You were almost there again, I could feel it.”
“You don’t have to give me a second orgasm, Jack.”
“What kind of a gentleman would I be if I didn’t?”
“A lousy one, I suppose.” You admitted.
“Why don’t you get on your side and open your legs up for me?”
“Alright.” You agreed as you tried to get yourself off of him as skillfully as you could (trying desperately not to fall on your ass).
He pulled the condom off of himself and gave it to you to dispose of. He continued massaging his stump as you settled into position on your side. He managed to maneuver and scoot behind you. You opened your legs up so he could slot against you and so he could have access to your vulva, to your clit. His thick fingers brushed against you and began to rub your clit in tight circles again just the way you liked.
You were indeed still sensitive so it did not take him long to get into a groove of building up your pleasure again.
“Yes, Jack… please…” you breathed out.
“Oh so now you’re interested in another orgasm?” He teased in your ear.
“As long as you offered it and are willing to touch me, sure, I am.”
“Well I’m always willing to touch you, doll.”
“Really? Gee, I hadn’t noticed that.”
“Definitely trying to hide how much I want you.”
“Yeah, you definitely didn’t convince me to let you see me naked tonight for the first time. You definitely hate me.”
“You’re my least favorite person, actually.” He nipped at your ear as he began to rub your clit faster.
“Oh, I don’t doubt that.” You chuckled.
“I think I like Langdon better than I like you actually.”
“Don’t talk about him in the bedroom, Jack.”
“What, that a mood killer for you?”
“Definitely.”
“So you don’t wanna think of his pathetic ass getting my sloppy seconds? Because I see the way he looks at you. He’d fuckin’ do it if either of us asked.”
“Jack!” You gasped in shock.
“What? You don’t think ER Ken could like you? Why? Just because he looks like he does?”
“It’s not like I noticed how he looks at me!”
“Good thing I have, then.”
“I don’t even like Langdon.” You huffed.
“Good thing I’m just fu-”
“Why couldn’t it be John?”
His whole body tensed, his hand stopped on your clit. “What?”
“Oh, I’m sorry, are you the only one whose allowed to fuck with the other?”
He relaxed. “You weren’t serious.”
“No. Neither were you, though.”
“You’re in for it now, babygirl.” He spat in his hand and was right back to torturing your poor clit. “Don’t ever scare me like that again.”
You reached over to slap his ass. “You did it to me first, meanie!”
“I know, I know, I’m so mean. I give you so many orgasms. You should just leave me for Shen.”
“Or Frank actually. He knocked Abby up twice.”
“Don’t even go there.” He warned.
“What?!” You exclaimed. “He’s probably got good swimmers.”
“Condoms and birth control definitely tell me you want a child. Right.” He droned sarcastically.
“I want ten kids, actually… I was going to tell you but I guess life just got in the way.”
He pinched your hip. “Smart ass.”
“Hey, Jack?”
“Yeah?”
“I think we accidentally ruined my orgasm with that comedic interlude.”
He caressed your hip and dropped his head to your shoulder. “Fuck, I’m sorry, sweetheart.”
“It’s alright. I think this intimate encounter has served its purpose adequately.”
He kissed your neck. “I’ll make it up to you soon, I promise.”
“I know you will. I’m gonna go pee, okay?”
He patted your thigh. “You go do that.”
You scooted off the bed and padded across his bedroom floor to go out into the hall to use the bathroom. You glanced back to see that he kept his eyes on your body as you moved. You offered him a small smile before retreating into the hallway and subsequently into the bathroom.
He was scooted up with his back against the headboard when you came out of the bathroom and his eyes immediately darted to you as you reappeared.
“See something you like?” You queried as you approached the bed.
“Most definitely.”
You couldn’t help but smile as you approached the bed. “I can’t thank you enough for tonight.”
“I’m the one who should be thanking you.” He pulled you against him once you were settled on the bed.
You looked up at him. “Do you really mean that?”
“Of course I do. I think this is my new favorite look for you actually.”
You scoffed. “It’s not a look at all. It’s literally the absence of one.”
“Okay, okay… maybe put some lingerie on, then it’ll be my new favorite look.”
You scoffed. “I am not putting lingerie on.”
He leant down to murmur in your ear. “Sweetheart, I’ve already seen you naked. If you put something that’s barely anything anyway on your nude body, how exactly is that worse than nudity?”
“What if I don’t look sexy in it?”
His eyebrows raised. “You don’t think you look sexy now?”
You tilted your head up. “I don’t wish to answer that actually.”
He kissed your temple. “You’re lucky you’re so adorable because you’re being absolutely ridiculous right now.”
“But you love me.”
“Yeah, doll, I love you. More than I feel like I’ve expressed tonight.” And that was saying something because Jesus fucking Christ had that man accomplished something incredible tonight.
And you couldn’t even begin to fathom how to thank him for it. But you were sure you could come up with something.
Pope Cody x fem!chubby/plus sized!reader (isn't super descriptive, only mentions she's not a size two, has stretch marks)
Summary: you don’t think any man would want you, Andrew Cody proves you wrong
WC: ~2.3k
Warnings: 18+ MDNI - fingering and cunnilingus, obsessed!pope, very inexperienced/virgin!reader, insecure!reader, pubic hair, thoughts of inadequacy, self worth and self esteem issues, very self indulgent, don’t like, don’t read
“Who’s gonna want to have sex with me? N-No one’s ever gonna want t-to hug me or even hold my hand.”
Andrew stepped towards you slowly and slid his hand into yours. He was now very firmly holding your hand.
You didn’t hug him. You didn’t pull away. You just froze.
“Is it not what you expected or is it me?” He whispered softly after a few seconds of silence and as he observed your stillness. “Do I not feel like the right person for this?”
Your eyes snapped to his. “N-no! I-I don’t…you feel so fucking right, Andrew. That’s not what this is about.” You shook your head.
His eyebrows furrowed. “So what’s the matter?”
You looked away from him and sighed. “I still don’t believe it’s real.”
He cupped the back of your neck with his other hand and moved your head so it was facing him and you were making eye contact with him. “It’s very real.” He assured you. “I’m real. I promise.”
“Would it be too much to ask you to kiss me?”
His eyebrow raised. “You’re sure you want that?”
Were you sure? Were you really? You weren’t quite so sure now, actually. Not with the way he was looking at you right now.
“Why shouldn’t I?” You asked softly.
“I just wouldn’t want to overwhelm you.”
“Maybe I’d like to be overwhelmed.” You murmured.
“I just wouldn’t want you freezing up again. I mean… you can’t even handle me holding your hand.” He teased you lightly.
You huffed at that. “I am handling it.”
But he wasn’t done teasing you. “I just think we should maybe go sl-”
You cut him off before he can say you two should go slow. “Andrew if you don’t kiss m-”
The hand on the back of your neck forced your head forward to meet his lips. And suddenly, you were kissing Andrew Cody. His lips firmly melded to yours as his hand held your head in place. The hand that was holding yours slipped out of it and before you could pull back to question it, that hand was sliding along your waist, tugging your body to his as firmly as he’d tugged your head to his. You could feel his toned abdominal muscles against your softer abdomen.
A soft sound reached your ears and you weren’t sure which of the two of you had made it until it dawned on you that you had both whimpered at the same time into the kiss. You let him guide you as you really had no idea what you were doing.
He finally pulled away. “Who doesn’t wanna kiss you?” He rasped softly.
“I-I guess you do want to.” You murmured softly.
He scoffed at this. “You guess?”
“I guess I’m just having a bit of trouble processing this still.”
“That I want you?”
You nodded. “Mhm.”
“Do I have to strip you naked to show you?”
You grimaced. “You don’t want to see me naked.”
“Don’t tell me what I want, okay?” He growled lowly. “Because I know damn well what I want. You think I have no idea what you might look like? I know you’re not a size 2. You’re not exactly going to be surprising me nude. I know what I want and what I want is you.”
“M-My body isn’t arousing… like at all. Like it’s not aesthetically pleasing in any way.”
“Don’t I get to decide what I find attractive or unattractive?”
“Y-yes, but-”
“But what?” He interjected before you could protest again. “You don’t have to be afraid of me.”
“I’m afraid you’ll reject me.” You clarified. “You’ll see me naked and you won’t want me anymore.”
“I have some idea what your body looks like.” He reiterated.
“Not completely naked.” You countered.
He huffed. “I won’t know until I see that, though.”
“Therein lies the predicament. It seems we’re at an impasse.”
He cupped your cheeks. “What can I do for you so that you’ll let me past your walls?”
“I don’t know.” You whispered. “I don’t know how to do this.”
“That’s okay. You don’t need to do anything you don’t want to do.” He assured you.
You sighed. “I do want you, I-I just… I don’t know what to do.”
He led you to sit down on your bed. He sat down beside you.“What do you want to do? Maybe talking about it will help.”
“With you?”
He nodded. “Yeah. Anything in particular?”
“I liked it when you kissed me.”
“That’s good to know but is there anything beyond kissing you’d like to do?”
“I don’t know how to have sex.” You murmured, embarrassed.
“So you’ll learn. Do you watch porn or read smut, anything like that?”
“Y-yeah…”
“Well what do you like about it? Or what don’t you like?”
“I don’t think I’d like rough stuff. That just doesn’t appeal to me.”
“So you don’t have to do that. You want someone to be gentle with you?”
“I want someone to care.”
“Oh, sweetheart.” He rubbed your arm. “You want someone to hold you? Do you want someone to make you cum before they think about themselves?”
“That… would be nice, yeah.”
He leant in towards you. “Do you want me to make you cum?”
“Y-Yes.” You whispered softly.
“Say it.” He looked deep into your eyes. “Tell me you want me to make you cum.”
You looked back at him. “I want you to make me cum, Andrew.”
“Can you lay back for me? I’m gonna have to touch you but I promise I’ll go really slow.”
“Okay.” You eased back on the bed on your back.
“That’s it. That’s my girl. Just relax and let me take care of you.” He murmured soothingly.
He covered your body with his own and caressed your side with one hand while he kissed your neck.
At first, your body tensed due to the unfamiliar situation but you slowly relaxed as your body realized that “new” didn’t equal “bad” in this particular case.
“You’re gonna let me make you feel good, aren’t you?”
“I want to.” You confirmed.
“So let yourself want that, let me do that. It’ll be okay. It’ll feel real good, trust me.”
“It’s still so strange.”
“I know it is. But just remember that I want you. I want to do this. I want to give you what you want. I wanna make you cum. I wanna hear you as I touch you. I wanna feel you beneath me. I want you. I don’t want anyone else right now.” He was breathing more heavily as he finished speaking.
“Please touch me, Andrew.”
“Yeah? That’s what you want? Gonna take your shorts off, okay?”
You breathed deeply. “Oh-Okay.”
He slowly pulled your shorts down, revealing your bare legs to him, your bare thighs.
“There we go. Just breathe. They’re off.” His hands ran up and down your thighs reverently. “You’re okay.”
You took a deep breath. “I’m okay.”
“Good.” He just kept caressing and then he leant down to kiss your skin. “Keep breathing for me. I’m not going anywhere.”
You closed your eyes and let yourself focus on his lips against your skin, and his tongue. He wasn’t afraid of your body. He wasn’t afraid of any fat or stretch marks or scars or body hair.
You jolt as his tongue runs up your panties over your slit. “Andrew!”
“Sorry.” He wasn’t sorry in the slightest, though. “Just teasing you. You wanna be wet, right?”
You nodded. “Right.”
“So…” his thumb rubbed over your panties. “You need stimulation.”
You knew this obviously. You just had never had a man touch you before so the sensation was foreign. Not bad. Just unfamiliar. But unfamiliar was not bad.
“Keep going.” You requested softly of him.
“With pleasure.” He responded as he continued to slowly rub his thumb over your clit.
You were a woman to Andrew. One woman was practically like any other to him. He didn’t exactly perceive one woman as more attractive to him personally than another. He acknowledged that Oceanside, Los Angeles, and San Diego were filled with thin, lean, and athletic women. But he did not think of women with a higher body fat percentage as ugly or undesirable. You were not undesirable to him. His cock could engorge with blood all the same if he envisioned the woman naked and under him or on top of him. He’d gotten hard before thinking of what your tits and belly would look like as you sat on top of him and bounced on his cock. He’d jerked off to the thought of you wearing one of his shirts and no bra or panties under it.
He was hard now as he slowly pulled your panties down your legs. Your curls around your vulva caused him to have to take a deep breath.
“I’m gonna slip a finger in slowly, okay? Just one.”
You breathed deeply yourself and nodded. He proceeded to slip his thick middle into your warmth. He didn’t shove it in. He slowly eased it in. You shuddered as he licked your clit. You tried to relax your body so you were not so tense. You tried to keep your swirling thoughts at bay.
What if I can’t cum? What if I don’t sound sexy? What if he doesn’t like me? What if I don’t arouse him? What if he just quits on me?
“Hey, hey,” he nipped at your abdomen, “you’re okay. Stay with me here.”
“I-I’m trying. Sorry.”
“What can I do to help?”
“I-I don’t know. Keep talking to me maybe?”
He hummed in acknowledgment. He slowly worked a second finger into you as he began to lick and suckle your clit. “You’re doing good for me. I’m really proud of you. Never thought you’d ever let me touch you like this.”
“You’ve wanted to?”
“For so fucking long.”
“Is that why you’re always staring at me?”
He just looked up at you from between your legs and let you figure it out on your own which you promptly did because his eyes practically called you a dumbass for ever thinking anything different.
“You never said anything.”
“I was afraid I’d scare you off. That was the last thing I wanted to do.”
“You are fairly intense.” You admitted. “But you don’t scare me, Andrew.”
“I could’ve. I burn inside for you.”
“I don’t know what you mean.”
“You’re all I think about when you’re around. Even when you’re not around, I still think about you. Are you alright? Are you comfortable? Are you tired or thirsty or hungry? What do you do when you’re alone? What do you look like naked?”
“You actually think those things about me?”
“Constantly.”
This was unfathomable to you. “Really?”
He gave you another look that made you feel like a dumbass for asking.
“I just never thought…”
“That a man could ever think about you like that?”
“I guess, yeah.”
“Guess again because you consume me. I can’t sleep because all I want to do is think about you. It’s all I can do.” He felt your walls flutter around his fingers and he smirked. “You like that? You like how obsessed I am with you?”
“N-No.” You tried to deny it but he wasn’t buying it.
“I think you do. Or your body does. It likes the attention.”
And so he doubled it. He kept licking and sucking at your clit and he pumped his two fingers in and out of you.
“Gonna make you cum.” He croaked against your clit. “Don’t care how long it takes.”
“I-I don’t know if I-”
“You will.” He barked.
You had no idea if you actually could. But he didn’t seem to be giving you a choice. And his relentless stimulation of your sensitive areas seemed to be doing the trick.
“Please please please…” he seemingly begged your clit to let you cum for him.
He was being as gentle as he could be with the speed he was going at. His lips and tongue worked hard to stimulate your clit as his two thick fingers worked in and out of you.
“Wanna hear you, beautiful. Please…”
You had been making noise for a few minutes now, mewling and moaning as the sensations built in your groin.
“That’s it. Just let it happen.” He encouraged you.
The stimulation didn’t stop and you tried to let yourself relax. You knew getting all tense would just not work out for you. “How do I kn-”
“You’ll know.” He huffed as he kept it up.
You were so wet that his two thick fingers easily pumped in and out. He hooked them in just the right way over and over again.
“Oh my… fuck.” You shuddered.
“That feel good?” He knew it did.
“Yes. Please keep touching my clit like that.” You requested softly.
“You don’t have to tell me twice.”
Your thighs shook, you couldn’t contain your noises. You felt like you were being slowly teased toward euphoria. It was unlike anything you’d ever felt before.
“Andy… I think I’m go-”
“Do it.” He commanded.
You let out a strangled noise as your body obeyed him.
“Holy shit, fuck!” You gasped.
He had to hold your hip to keep you steady as you bucked. “Tha’s it, just let it overtake you.”
That’s exactly what you did as you rode that crest. He helped you through it until you came down from the high.
“How’d your first orgasm feel?”
“Was that an orgasm?”
“You don’t know?”
“I guess it was. Sure felt like one.”
“Sounded like one.” He agreed.
“Did it?”
“Better than I ever could’ve imagined.”
“You’ve imagined… how I’d sound when I cum?”
“I’ve jerked off to just about everything to do with you.”
“Tell me.”
“Go pee first.” He jerked his head toward your bathroom. “Then I’d be happy to.”
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"All because my head is full of poison
And my heart is full of doubt
I got toxins in my bloodstream
You tried so hard to suck out
—the cure, Olivia Rodrigo
summary: you’re the ray of sunshine and overly dependable smiling intern the night shift crew has been needing. But a certain attending begins noticing you might need more help than you let on.
wc: 11.7k (a short one sorry guys)
warnings: crippling perfectionism, high-key people pleasing, reader is bright and bubbly to compensate for how awful she feels day to day, one vomiting scene, service dom jack, santos is on nightshift bc i love her and i wanted her in this fic. trinity and dennis and reader r basically siblings, jack’s characterization in this is DEF andrew pope cody-esque panic attacks, mental health struggles, reader is an intern again but i swear it’s just cause i watch a lot of greys and interns r the only stage of medical career i know enough about to write semi-well T-T
acknowledgments: once again a round of applause for @wesandresons for the lovely gif, and @uzmacchiato and @cursed-carmine for the dividers!
a/n: i’m not rlly sure i like how this turned out but oh well @leeknowpegger i hope this keeps you company
masterlist
When you first get to the PTMC, Jack can’t decide what he thinks about you.
He vaguely remembers you— you’d done a rotation here, some time ago. One of the unfortunate ones who’d drawn the short stick and been stuck on the night shift. He has a hazy recollection of your face during an MVC, your jaw hard set and a permanent smile to your face. He vaguely remembers, at the time, the only thing he’d really though was:
Jesus, this kid needs to dial it back.
The sentiment, of course, remains the same when it’s handoff time, and Robby is telling him all about what an awful fucking day it’s been, and of course now he says “Oh, remember that med student you got stuck with awhile back? Smiley-face? You must’ve done something right, because she matched into the ED for her residency. She starts today.”
Not exactly the news an attending wants to hear right after the horror show the day has been so far. Especially when intern/baby resident in question is… charismatic.
“You say that like it’s a bad thing,” Ellis says, her eyes trained on you as you soothe a crying teenager who just got wheeled in. “If you ask me, we could use someone who actually smiles. Bit too dark and dreary in here for my taste.”
“You like dark and dreary.”
She gives him an unimpressed raised eyebrow. “So? We can’t all be doing it. Like, we’ve got Shen, but his is more iced-coffee induced than actual smiling charm.”
“I can be charming when I want to be.”
“No, you can be flirty or suggestive. There’s a difference.”
Jack does not justify her response with one of his own, instead choosing to look down at his tablet and pretend to chart while he listens to how you’re interacting with the patient. The teenager seems to be calmed down, and the parents don't sound frantic or worried.
Maybe Ellis is right. Unfortunately, this tends to be the case fairly often.
He sighs and focuses on the chart he’s supposed to be doing and attempts to wipe his mind of bright smiles and glittering eyes.
—
The PTMC and Emergency Medicine in general was not, actually, your first choice. It wasn’t even your second, or your third.
First was surgical. Everybody wants to be surgical. You wanted surgical. It’s flashy, it pays well, and it’s cool as fuck. Plus, unlike some of your classmates, you actually have the stomach for it (one of the many things that eventually translated well to emergency medicine.)
Second was Ortho. Because bones are cool. Ortho surgeries are fun too, when they’re not arthroscopy after arthroscopy.
Third was any kind of unit like Burn or ICU. A high stress program that wouldn’t let you think, let you run on adrenaline all day.
But then you did your rotation in general surgery and absolutely fucking hated it.
Surgeons are assholes. Surgeons are uptight nerds who like to subject anyone they consider beneath them to cruel and unusual punishment.
Even in during the short duration of your rotation through surgery, it almost killed you. You could practically feel the light in your soul dimming at every pointed comment, every sharp correction, every barked insult and something or other cruel word.
And then there was the PTMC. The stupid ED that wasn’t supposed to fun, was supposed to be grueling and exhausting (especially since you’d gotten assigned to the night shift.) But instead of awful you got amazing, which sucked.
Seems counterintuitive, but it’s true.
You wanted to like surgery enough to power though. But not a single rotation after the ED even came close to measuring up. The speed, the action, the gore, and the kind but firm guiding direction from the attending’s and residents.
Matching into the PTMC was an event actually worth celebrating. As in, you decided to un-tense minutely and splurge on actual champagne that you drank in your apartment while dancing to your favorite music.
And now, you’re here. Determined to not fuck this up. To keep moving, keep going, and be a fucking excellent ED doctor.
Except your attending, Dr. Jack Abbot, one of the reasons you joined the ED in the first place, keeps giving you funny looks when he thinks you’re not looking.
You’re not sure if he’s aware that you know that he’s staring at you. You do have a wider than normal field of peripheral vision, so maybe he doesn’t know that you can still see him out of the corner of your eye?
Regardless of if he knows or not, it’s unnerving. Because he’s your boss. And you know he’s capable of being an incredible doctor and mentor, because you see it every single day.
Just not directed at you.
He’s not really mean, or standoffish, or anything like that, he’s just… not necessarily kind. Not in the way that you see him with the other residents on his service or even with you, during your rotation as a med student.
Hell, he’s nicer to Santos than he is to you.
“Did I like, say something to offend him and I don’t know?”
Trinity makes a face at you from over the edge of the monitor. “Isn’t that more my area of expertise?”
“No. You offend people on purpose.”
“True.”
You prop your head on your hands, resting your elbows on the counter above her. Your keycard, attached to your breast pocket via a red, heart-shaped badge reel is lovingly adorned with pink rhinestones and cute stickers. The pocket itself is filled with several glitter gel pens (and regular pens, just in case.)
“I just don’t get it. I’m nice, right?”
“Disturbingly so.”
“Exactly. The only thing I can think of is that I’ve messed up or something, but it’s Dr. Abbot. He’d tell me if I did. He doesn’t exactly hold back.”
“Do you really need me for this conversation?”
You level her with a look, but she just groans.
“Why do you even care? So what, one guy doesn’t like you, boohoo.”
“He’s not just some guy. He’s my attending. And you might’ve secured your spot here, but i’m all shiny and new. I can’t exactly earn people’s respect if our boss doesn’t like me.”
Trinity doesn’t immediately respond with a scathing remark, which usually means that you’ve made a valid point.
“Should I talk to him?”
She sighs. “I think you’re overreacting. You’ve only been here for like, two weeks? Three? He’ll probably calm down the more you work together.”
“Did he stare at you all weirdly when you first started?”
“Well, no, but that’s because I don’t suck at my job.”
Now it’s your turn to glare.
“Sorry. I guess you’re not completely hopeless.”
You roll your eyes. “Thanks, Trin.”
She scrunches her nose up at the nickname like you knew she would, because she hates it, which makes it one of the only weapons you have against her.
Trinity wasn’t as helpful as you’d hoped, and night shift means no Dana to ask for advice. There’s Dr. Ellis, but she’s pretty close to Dr. Abbot, which means there’s a high chance that whatever you ask her will make it back to him. You aren’t really close enough to Dr. Shen to ask him “Hey, how come Dr. Abbot stares at me when he thinks I’m not looking and isn’t as nice to me as he is to you guys?”
The question is stupid and kind of pathetic, so really, you shouldn’t be asking anybody, but you’ve always been crippled by an intense need to be well-liked. It feels like winning, and it feels good and safe. Safe is good. Safe is great.
Wanting the guy who's essentially your boss to like you is completely rational, right?
You just wish he’d tell you what you’re doing wrong, so you can fix it.
Also, it’s just driving you crazy.
Even if he just legitimately didn’t like you, and made that apparent, it’d be something. You could work with that. You could figure out what it was he didn't like via intense pattern recognitin and fix it. Problem solved!
But he isn't obvious about it. He behaves indifferent and detatched- like you could die tomorrow and he wouldn't care.
It’s the not knowing. If you could just ask him, if he could just give you an answer, then you’d know where you stood, and everything could be fine.
What changed? You want to beg, What happened after my med student rotation? Do you even remember that? What did I do? Where did I go wrong?
It eats away at you over the course of the week. It has been since you noticed, which was pretty much on day one. You don’t show this outwardly of course, because you’re pretty sure you can get through to him and level out the wrong-footedness you feel around him through stubborn determination. Surely, at some point your unwavering nature will win out and he’ll finally see there isn’t anything he needs to hate about you. This is an incredibly healthy mindset to move through life with.
The week closes with an MCI around 5pm, which is just everyone’s favorite thing in the world. The night shift gets called in, minus Trinity, who was already there working a double, and everyone sets in for the long haul. You do your best to focus on the patients and do not at all think about the ease and camaraderie between Mohan and Abbot, because that would be a very fucked up progression of priorities.
Eventually it’s all over— patients are stabilized, some aren’t. Overtime ends with phantom blood on your hands and being strong-armed into drinks in the park afterwards.
You feel awkward, because you don’t work with the day shift people that often, so you’re not really sure how best to be yourself and not come across as weird. Neither of your “safe” people (Trinity and Dennis) are present, so there’s no way in hell you’re going to be capable of relaxing.
You take the beer that’s tossed to you, even though you think beer is gross (why does it taste like that? Why do people enjoy it?) and sip on it excruciatingly slowly, trying to hide a grimace and occasionally chiming in with mentally rehearsed and carefully crafted jokes and comments.
It’s exhausting, and not at all how you wanted to spend your night after an MCI. In a dream world, you don’t have the social backbone of a wet paper bag, and you say no, and you go home to your house and shower, then watch one, maybe two episodes of a tv show, scroll through Pinterest, and then go the fuck to bed.
But for the low low price of much needed rest, you get to drink one of the most disgusting alcoholic beverages known to man and worry if everyone thinks you’re being weird! Yay!
Also. Side note. Minor comment. Little issue.
Jack Abbot is sitting next to you. Like, right next to you on the bench. Because he came late and it was the last spot open. So he’s just right there. Posture loose and open and not at all like he didn’t just help you try to save a girl your age who had the misfortune of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Like two hours ago your elbows weren’t brushing, elbow deep in a man’s organs, saving his life.
Jack, unlike you, looks comfortable to be at the park with everyone. He doesn’t look like he’s analyzing conversation to determine the best thing to say next.
Jack isn’t looking at everyone. He’s not looking at anyone. He’s looking at you.
You turn, give him a little smile.
Again.
Maybe he doesn’t know you can still see him out of the corner of your eye. (No, he’s a vet, he’d definitely also have wide peripheral vision. But maybe he thinks that you don’t have it, because you’re not a vet.)
(You’re probably thinking too much about the peripheral vision.)
Jack doesn’t stop staring at you. Instead, he reaches over to where your barely-drunk beer is in your hands, and says:
“Here, give me that.”
And then he just. Takes your beer. Straight out of your hands.
Jesus fucking fuck he so hates you.
—
“He took your beer?”
“Yes,” You groan from the kitchen island in Trinity’s apartment, “He said ‘here, give me that’ and then just took it. He didn’t say anything else to me for the rest of the night.”
She lets out a low whistle. “Maybe he doesn’t like you. What could you have possibly done to make him not like you?”
“I don’t know!”
“Well, you better fix it. Having your attending hate your guts will like, majorly suck.”
“I don’t know how to fix it. That’s what i’m over here for. To brainstorm.”
“I thought you were here to steal the cookies Huckleberry made?”
Dennis peeks his head up from the couch. “Wait, what?”
You wave a hand. “Semantics. Focus.”
“Okay,” Trinity taps a pencil on a notepad, “Have you tried sleeping with him?”
“He’s like, probably over twenty years older than me.”
“So? I know your type.”
You roll your eyes. “As if he’d go after me, Trin. He doesn’t like me.”
“Hate sex is a thing.”
“Name one time hate sex solved the hate part.”
She purses her lips. “Touché. What about like, baking him shit, like Huckleberry does for—“
“Shut up Trinity!”
You both snicker.
“No dice,” You sigh, “I can’t bake for shit. Recipes never have enough context. They’re never specific enough.”
“Two tablespoons of sugar isn’t specific enough for you?”
“You’re not helping.”
Trinity holds up her hands in mock surrender. “To be fair, I never agreed to help. I just said we’d both be here if you wanted to come over.”
“I think you should just ask him.” Dennis pipes up.
He shuffles off the couch and slides into the second chair at the kitchen island adjacent to you. “Dr. Abbot is a straightforward guy. He appreciates honesty. Doesn’t beat around the bush. I can’t imagine him being truly upset that you tried to fix a problem.”
“I want to, but that’s like. Too straightforward. What if—“
“Oh my god,” Trinity moans, “Just ask him. Or fuck him. Do something so I don’t have to hear about it anymore.”
You frown, opening your mouth to object, then close it with a sigh.
She’s right.
You have to just move on. Either deal with it or deal with it by… not dealing with it. Talk to him or don’t.
Easier said than done.
—
It takes two more shifts of unrequited awkwardness for you to finally reach your limit. At a certain point, probably when you almost snapped at him for hovering (doing his job) while you were trying to intubate a patient, you realize that you cannot, actually, just get through to him via stubborn determination.
Damn.
So when you have a second, you corner him in one of the quieter hallways. The conversation has the potential to be horrifically embarrassing and mortifying, so it’s best if there’s no audience.
“Do you have a minute, Dr. Abbot?”
He glances down at his watch, then crosses his arms and leans against the opposite wall.
He doesn’t talk (unnerving, annoying) and his sharp, ever analyzing gaze makes your skin prickle as you cross your hands behind your back and mirror his position, leaning against the wall.
He’s so irritating. He won’t even give you a fucking inch. There’s nothing to go on.
“Did I do something wrong?”
For the first time since you became a resident in the ED, he makes an expression: surprise.
“Why do you think you did something wrong?”
“Because you won’t fucking talk to me!” You hiss, absolutely fed up with Dr. Jack Abbot, “Half the time you only look at me when you think I won’t notice. You don’t talk to me unless it’s required for teaching, and even then, it’s short and stilted. I’ve seen how you interact with literally every other person who works here. I know you can be nice. You’re just not nice to me, and I’d like to know why.”
You pause. “And you took my beer!”
There’s a moment of silence, and then there’s a breathy, almost wheezing sound that takes you a minute to place.
He’s laughing.
Jack fucking Abbot starts laughing.
You honest to God want to kill him.
“Sorry,” He says, eyes sparkling with mirth and shoulders loose, “I can see how all of that can be taken negatively—“
“How else was I supposed to take that.”
Jack levels you with a look, and you shut your mouth. “But it was not my intention.”
He just stops speaking there, like that’s a perfectly adequate explanation and not at all vague and almost more disconcerting.
“So…,” You drawl, “What was your intention?”
Something interesting, a little more heated than just analytical sparks in his gaze, and he tilts his head, eyes flicking up and down your body.
Under the silence and scrutiny, you resist the urge to squirm in place, hands squeezing themselves in an effort to subdue the itch.
“You hate confrontation.”
Your chest feels like a cinder block just slammed onto it. “What?”
“You,” He levels a finger at your chest, “Hate confrontation. You hate it so much that you lie about yourself to people instead of saying things they might not like.”
You laugh nervously, voice high and reedy. “A lot of people do that. I don’t think that’s a crime.”
“It’s not. But it doesn’t exactly make me want to trust you with my residents. With my team.”
“You’re worried I’ll what? Get somebody in trouble? Do something shitty?”
“I’m worried that something is going to happen to you, and you won’t tell anyone about it.”
The hallway grows silent. In this distance there’s beeping, someone shouting orders, a child crying. But not in the five feet of space you, Jack, and the conversion currently occupies.
“Why do all of this?” You gesture vaguely to the space between you two, unwilling to be more specific. He does not deserve the itemized list you assembled in your head.
“I wanted to see if you’d confront me about it or not. Confirm my suspicions.”
“That’s—“ You wrinkle your nose, “Actually kind of shitty of you.”
Jack just hums.
“So what now? Did I prove myself to you?” Your tone is mocking.
He scoffs, “God, you really hate confrontation, don’t you?”
Your skin prickles again. “No.”
“Lying again.”
“Shut up.”
He knows how uncomfortable he’s making you. He’s doing it on purpose. And right then and there, you decide you don’t care what Jack Abbot thinks, because if Jack Abbot is going to be a self-assured asshole, Jack Abbot can go fuck himself.
Your pager going off saves you from verbalizing any of this, and with one last glare, you’re gone.
—
If Jack was an obnoxious lurker before, it doesn’t hold a damn candle to how he behaves now.
He’s just. Everywhere. Around every corner. Driving you crazy.
When you bring this up to Trinity, she looks at you like you’ve finally lost it.
Which. Okay. You probably have. But that’s beside the point! The point is…
…The point is that Jack Abbot is getting on your last nerve and you really don’t have any to spare. Life has been stomping all over the other ones, so the singular nerve Jack is stabbing with his annoying pointed looks and almost lingering touches and stupid little questions (“Hey, that was a rough one, are you alright?”) is just worn out. It doesn’t have anything left to give. You don’t have anything left to give.
But, like you were brought up to do, you keep right on giving. And working. And smiling.
Because it goes a little something like this: There’s no one to pick you up if you fall. You pick yourself up when you fall, and you’ve gotten pretty fucking good at it. All of your friends (read: Trinity and Dennis and maybe Mel) are doctors, which means you all have shitty work/life balance and no one would even be available if you called and said “Hey, every morning I lie awake and stare at the ceiling and convince myself to get up while listening to Hallelujah by Jeff Buckley, after which I will inevitably cry on the bus to work. Would you mind helping me with my laundry?”
Okay. Well. Trinity would probably show up if you asked because once she decides that you’re her friend she’s really intense about it (she’s a bit like a Doberman or some other dog like that, not that you would ever tell her) and Dennis probably would too, but only because he never says no when someone asks for help so it kind of just feels like you’re taking advantage of him. Mel is far too busy juggling being an ED doctor and caring for Becca for you to even think about asking her without feeling intense, soul crushing guilt.
So yeah. You don’t really have a best friend, unless one would count the singular romance book you’ve read so much the spine is completely fucked and the pages are yellow from years of travel and rereading. Counting any book as a best friend is probably very pathetic. But hey, don’t fix what isn’t broken.
So you have a system and a method and crying before and after work every single day is totally, completely normal, healthy, and sustainable. Probably even more so in the medical field, and especially since you’re a PGY1. Interns gotta suffer and all that jazz.
Jack Abbot does not need to make the suffering worse by existing near you constantly. Things are really honestly bad enough.
“Hey,” Trinity grabs your arm as you’re going by during a mellow shift, grip not tight enough to hurt but enough to be a bit past uncomfortable, especially for a girl not used to physical contact, “You good?”
‘No,’ You want to shout, collapsing on the floor in a heap of bones and tears, ‘I haven’t done laundry in so long that I’ve started wearing my cleanest dirty socks instead of washing more. I don’t have the energy to spend my days off doing anything productive, but every time I sleep instead of doing chores the anxiety eats me alive. I can’t sleep at night because the guilt makes me so nervous sometimes I throw up. Sometimes I don’t wash myself in the shower and I just stand in the water until it gets cold. Every day I wake up with the same headache, and then I take medicine for it, but by the time it’s gone I’m going to bed and then I wake up with it all over again. I think my liver is shot from over-the-counter medication usage. Everything hurts. I’m so tired.’
Trinity needs you to be okay. Trinity is too busy and under too much stress to worry about you. She needs you to be okay. Everyone needs you be okay.
“Mhm!” You nod, lips spread wide, “Pretty good day actually, all things considered.”
It’s not a total lie. The headache relief you’ve been taking religiously is kicking in faster than it usually does today.
Trinity scans your face, looking for signs of a lie, and she must find something (not shocking, it’s very hard to pretend that everything isn’t awful when Everything Is Really Awful) because her grip tightens minutely and she does that pursed lip thing she does when she’s worried and about to express it through anger or bitchiness.
“Don’t fuck with me. I don’t want to find out you’re like, doing drugs or something stupid like that. If you’re having a hard time—“
“Trin,” You interrupt, skin prickling uncomfortably as she implies that you’re not capable of handling things on your own, “If I need help, I know I can ask for it. And look,”
You tap your unbroken collection of glitter gel pens still intact in the front pocket of your scrubs. “It’s gotta be a good day. I still got my glitter.”
She wrinkles her nose, but drops your arm. “I don’t even know why you keep those. You can’t use them on like, anything. It’s against hospital policy.”
You shrug. “Glitter is a great motivator and mood elevator. Plus, kids love ‘em.”
You manage to feign something important coming up and duck out of the conversation and then, when the coast is clear, dart into one of the lesser used bathrooms and tuck yourself in the darkest stall.
Even in a hospital, toilet seats are disgusting, but you can’t quite summon any actual disgust as you plop down on the white porcelain, only lightly cracked, and cradle your exhausted head in your hands.
You have to keep going. There is no alternative. There is no other option.
Your chest feels tight and loose at the same time, and your skin feels clammy and wrong. Everything feels wrong. The lights are too bright and the material of your scrubs is scratchy and awful, and the longer you sit in the stall the more you want to throw up.
Someone knocks on the door before you get the chance to move down to your knees and start worshipping the porcelain altar. Assuming it to be Mel, who sometimes has a habit of showing up at the wrong time, you open the stall door to reveal none other than Jack Fucking Abbot.
You stare at him blankly for a few beats, too bewildered to feel sick. “You’re not allowed to be in here.”
“In the men’s bathroom?”
“This isn’t the men’s bathroom.”
“The sign on the door would say otherwise.”
Embarrassment brings the nausea back tenfold. You hold the stall door in a white knuckle grip to keep yourself upright and from hurling onto your boss.
“Oh my god, I’m so sorry, I swear I didn’t do this on purpose—“
Jack raises an eyebrow, his hands folded behind his back. Military man, right.
“Clearly.”
You stumble forward. “I need to go—“
“Woah, down girl. I didn’t knock because I cared which toilet you use. You work here. Use whatever toilet you want. Preferably not the one in the attending’s lounge.”
“There’s an attending’s lounge?”
“No.” He grins, a devilish upturn to just the corner of his lips.
“Oh,” You pause, then catch up to the rest of what he said, “Then why’d you knock?”
“Cause it kind of sounded like you were dying in there, and I’d rather if you didn’t.”
“Why not?”
“The paperwork, for one. Two, Santos would probably shank me.”
“Ah.”
“Also,” He shrugs, “I’d miss you.”
You scoff. “No you wouldn’t.”
“I would.”
“You don’t like me. You don’t even trust me.”
Jack gets this pinched look on his face; his lips pull down, his brows furrow and he narrows his eyes, just a bit.
He opens his mouth to respond when the door bangs open.
Jack doesn’t even look up before he’s barking:
“Find another bathroom.”
“But I have to—“
“Find another bathroom or I’ll cut your dick off.”
The guy grumbles away, but Jack never takes his eyes off you. It’s unnerving— to be the sole focus of his attention.
You’re the first to break the now tense silence of the bathroom.
“That seemed a bit extreme.”
“I’m not a man who does things by halves.”
“No,” You sigh, “I suppose you’re not.”
Jack cocks his head to side, almost predatory. More methodical than anything. He looks at you— really looks at you. Shamelessly drags his eyes up your body, likely cataloguing every mystery bruise, frown line, eye bag, freckle, and all the million lines of exhaustion that seem etched on your very being, right down through the bones and marrow.
He sighs, crossing his arms before leaning back on the opposite wall of the bathroom.
“What am I going to do with you?”
His words instantly have you on edge, bristling at all the unsaid things behind his tone.
“I’m not something to be dealt with. I’m a person, not some fucking—“
“You’re like a stray cat,” He interrupts, “Always hissing. Do I need to win you over with treats? Should I start bringing canned tuna?”
“You’re an asshole.”
“And you’re drowning.”
Just like that, all the humor gets sucked from the room, replaced with the cold, sharp grip of reality. Suddenly exhausted by the weight of it all, you drop back down onto the toilet seat.
Jack gives you a few moments to respond, get angry, or defend yourself, but you don’t. He’s too good at reading you, it seems. What is there to say?
When you don’t speak, he does.
“Did you think no one would notice?”
“No one has.”
“Am I no one?”
You lean back, closing your eyes and awkwardly resting the back of your head against the wall and the back of the toilet.
“You’re nosy.”
If this were any other moment, any other scenario with any other person, you would never ever act so contrary. But you’re tired and Jack seems to bring out the worst in you.
He makes an amused huffing noise. “You’re good at what you do, I’ll give you that.”
“What, exactly, am I doing?”
“Pretending.”
You scoff. “Fuck off.”
“Come on, sweetheart. How much longer are you going to do this to yourself?”
You lift your head off the back of the toilet. “You act like I’m killing myself:”
“You are,” His inclined his head, “Just really slowly.”
You scrub a hand down your face.
“Look. I understand why you think you have to care, but you don’t. I’m just going through a rough patch. I’ll get through them like I always do. I’m not gonna crash and burn or endanger myself or do whatever it is you’re worried I’m going to do, okay? So you can leave me alone. I’m fine.”
Jack doesn’t get to respond, because the second the words are out of your mouth the nausea that’s been churning in your stomach since you made it to the bathroom rises all at once, and you barely have time to slide off the toilet and turn before you’re throwing up hard enough to almost choke.
The worst part is that you forgot to eat lunch so your stomach is woefully, painfully empty. You’re throwing up nothing but bile, throat burning and tears streaming down your face.
“Alright, come on,” A warm hand rubs soothing circles on your back, and if you weren’t busy hurling your guts out, you’d marvel at the feeling and juxtaposition between the Jack you know, who’s all cold indifference, and the Jack currently holding your hair out of your face while you vomit.
“Let it out,” He soothes, hand still rubbing, “Don’t fight it. It’ll be over soon.”
“I hate throwing up.” You choke, coughing and gasping.
“No one does. But you’ll feel better when it’s over.”
Over feels like it’s never going to come. But eventually your stomach stops clenching, you manage to stop heaving, and you’re slumped over the toilet, sucking down gulps of air, sweat beading on your forehead and the back of your neck.
“This,” You mumble in between gasps, “Means nothing.”
You can’t see Jack’s expression, but his response is so quiet you almost miss it.
“Okay.”
You can’t see his face, but you know this isn’t over.
—
Jack sends you home once you’re capable of standing on your own two feet without shaking like a newborn fawn.
(“You can’t send me home.”
“Yes I can. You’re not allowed to come back to work after throwing up in the bathroom.”
“We both know I’m not the only person to do it.”
“Yeah, but I haven’t caught the other people in the wrong bathroom and held their hair back while they vomited.”
“…”
“You only have two hours left anyway. Go home.”)
The problem lies in the fact that the buses aren’t running yet, which means that you can’t, actually, get home. Your house is an hour away on foot. An hour you’d normally be capable of walking, but your phone is almost dead, you’re exhausted, and you still feel a little weak because of the vomiting.
So after retrieving your things from your locker, you find yourself sitting on the little bench outside the PTMC, waiting for the minutes to tick by. If you didn’t bring at least one book with you everywhere you go in case of emergencies (like this one) you probably would have just walked into oncoming traffic.
It’s cold out and your jacket is cheap so you have to burrow into it, hood up to retain any semblance of warmth. It would be almost cozy —huddled in your jacket, watching the city go by, tucked into your favorite romance book— if the shift hadn’t gone the way it had and if a grueling bus ride and half mile walk didn’t await you once the buses finally start running. Waiting for you beyond that is just chores and an empty apartment.
Your fingers tighten on the edges of your book.
“Why the fuck are you still here?”
You jolt in place, cracking your neck over to the side and blinking blearily.
Jack. Again.
He makes an expectant face at you as if to say ‘Well?’ when you don’t answer immediately.
Your eyes dart back and forth nervously, even though you know you haven’t done anything wrong. “The buses aren’t running yet. It’s an hour walk to my house.”
Jack scrubs a hand down his face and curses under his breath.
“How long until your bus gets here?”
You check your phone. Shit. Only four percent left.
“And hour and a half. Maybe a little longer if it’s running behind more than usual.”
He seems put out by your answer, as if the bus’s heavily fluctuating schedule is of personal consequence and offense to him.
“Um,” You start, both uncomfortable at having been caught reading a romance book in public and at the general air of frustration Jack seems to be venting at the moment, “I’m fine. I have my book. I don’t mind waiting.”
Jack just sighs.
“Do you really think I’m just going to leave you out here, in the cold, after you threw up in the bathroom, to wait for the bus, for nearly two more hours?”
You wince. “Well, it doesn’t sound great when you put it like that.”
He works his jaw. “Have you eaten?”
“No…?”
He shakes his head.
“Come on. You’re coming with me.”
—
“I have to admit, this isn’t where I thought we were going.
Thirty minutes later finds you seated on the cracked vinyl seat of a booth in a cheap diner, staring at a menu and rationalizing spending your last $15 on what will probably be mediocre pancakes.
Jack is seated across from you, already two mugs of coffee —black, but oddly enough, decaf— and not even bothering to pretend to look at his menu. He either comes here often or doesn’t care to act like he isn’t staring at you.
Probably both.
“Where did you think we were going?”
Steam curls out of your own untouched mug of coffee —ordered for you by Jack, also unfortunately decaf— and you debate just getting up and running out of here.
Too bad you’re too exhausted to run anywhere. Jack’s probably banking on that.
“I don’t know,” You shrug, setting the menu down, “Maybe to Gloria’s office to write me up or something.”
“What would I even be writing you up for?”
“Disobeying direction? I’m sure you could come up with something.”
The waitress chooses that moment to appear, notepad in hand. “Are we ready to order?”
Jack rattles off his order, and then two sets of eyes turn to you expectantly. Before you can order the single fruit bowl you were planning on getting (the cheapest thing on the menu) Jack pipes up:
“Order whatever you actually want. Not whatever you think is cheapest or easiest.”
The waitress, a middle aged woman who has probably seen much worse than whatever the two of you have going on, just chuckles lightly under her breath.
You hesitantly list the item you’d been eyeing and thank the waitress.
It isn’t until after the menus have been taken and Jack’s coffee re-upped for the third time that you manage to courage to speak.
“You didn’t have to do this, you know.”
“I know.”
“No, I mean,” your fingers curl on the edge of the table, desperate for something to hold onto, “I can’t— It’ll be awhile until I can pay you back. I barely made rent this month.”
“Do you think I would take you to breakfast and then make you pay?”
“Yes…?”
“You’re not touching the bill, kid. I’m a gentleman.”
“Oh,” You didn’t really see that coming, “Okay.”
Jack gets a funny expression on his face, then resumes his drinking coffee and glancing out the window routine.
“So,” You say after a beat, “Was there something you wanted to talk about…?”
The silence just feels so awkward. It’s killing you.
He raises a brow. “Do you want to talk?”
“I’m asking you.”
“And I’m asking you what you want to do. What do you usually do when you come out to eat?”
“I don’t? Eating out is expensive, so. But when I do it’s usually by myself, so I end up just reading.”
Jack gestures to your bag beside you. “Don’t let me stop you.”
“What?”
“Read your book.”
“But that’s— isn’t that boring for you?”
He sets his mug down. “I didn’t bring you here because I wanted something from you. I brought you here because you had a shitty day and it seemed like you could use some cheering up. If reading makes you feel better, then do it.”
You have to look out the window to avoid his gaze. You don’t understand how your perfectly crafted facade just crumbles into fucking dust around him. How he manages to see right through you at every turn, how he manages to uncover every lie and every half truth.
“How did you even know I like diner food?”
“Because I pay attention to you.”
You finally look back over at him, arms folded across your chest; not really defensively, more like you’re trying to hold your entire body together by sheer force of will.
Jack’s lips twitch. Not really a smile, but almost. “You bring it up every time Santos wants to get food after a shift. She always says no, because she hates it, but it never stops you from suggesting it.”
It’s just one detail. One tiny, inconsequential detail that he’s apparently memorized and held onto because to him, it’s important. For some impossible to understand reason, he seems to care.
"Also," He shrugs, "I'd miss you."
You scoff. "No you wouldn't."
"I would."
“Do you hate me?”
Jack looks back at you, seemingly startled by the abrupt question.
“No.”
You take a deep, shuddering breath.
“Okay.”
—
“You did what?”
You wince from your spot lying face-down on Trinity’s couch.
“Not so loud, Trin. I have a headache.”
She ignores you, seated on the floor almost directly in front of you. “So you’ve gone from hating each other to going on a date?”
“It wasn’t a date,” You groan, “We spent almost the entire time in silence. I read my book and he stared out the window and did… whatever it is men like him do when they stare out the window.”
“Brooding,” Trinity says, “He paid. That means it’s a date.”
“No it doesn’t!”
It doesn't. It totally doesn't. Just because Jack said he doesn't hate you doesn't mean he likes you either. There are a lot of emotions in between hate and love. Like toleration, for example. Mild amusement. Exasperation. An appropriate amount of annoyance.
Trinity pokes you on the back of your head, having none of it.
"He likes you. Why else would he willingly hang out with one of us after work?"
"He goes out for drinks in the park sometimes." You mumble.
"Yeah, after an MCI."
What Trinity doesn't know is the events leading up to breakfast at the diner, because that would involve telling her about the whole throwing up from anxiety in the men's bathroom directly after a mini-panic attack because she confronted you about your unhealthy lifestyle (which all just sounds a lot worse than it is), so there isn't really a way to give her the kind of context necessary to get her off your back and dissuade her from her (insanely insane) belief that Jack likes you. Romantically.
"Trust me Trin, he was just being nice. Nothing romantic about it."
It was kind of romantic. Just eating surprisingly good food in the company of someone you don't need to pretend around, enjoying being in the company of another human being without worry or expectation.
Not that she needs to know that.
"Jack doesn't do nice. Have you seen him? What happened to the hating?"
You shrug. "You'll just have to ask him, because I don't know."
You do know. He told you. Explained it.
It doesn't make sense.
Trinity throws her hands in the air dramatically.
"Whatever. You two are impossible."
She finally withdraws, leaving you to wallow in your headache-induced misery by yourself on her couch.
Your phone vibrates on the floor next to you, and you groan, rolling further over to hide yourself in the crack of the couch, shunning the light like the reclusive vampire you are.
Your phone vibrates again.
“Dennis,” your voice is muffled by the couch cushion so it ends up sounding more like ‘denim’, “Can you please see who’s texting me and tell them to fuck off?”
Dennis, who was eating cereal at the tiny table near the kitchen when you first showed up fifteen minutes ago and has pointedly stayed silent throughout the entire exchange between you and Trinity, finally speaks.
“Your phone is two inches away from your hand.”
“I have a headache I don’t wanna look at the screen.”
You feel rather than actually see him roll his eyes, but then there’s the clink of a spoon against a bowl and the faint sound of socked —you’ve genuinely never seen him ever be barefoot under any circumstances, no matter what, he’s always wearing socks— feet as they make their way over to your temporary pit (couch) of despair.
There’s a quiet rustle as he picks up your phone off the floor.
“Oh.”
You whine, dramatic and upset. “What?”
“Um,” He grabs your shoulder, slowly rolling you over and away from the back of the couch, “It’s Jack?”
“What!?” You screech.
You throw yourself up, wincing as you immediately regret it when the pain in your head doubles, take a steadying breath to ignore it, and then grab the phone from Dennis’s outstretched hand.
You turn on the phone and— yep. Sure enough. A text from Jack, complete with the stupid picture of a dinosaur you made his profile picture. Because he’s old.
(It was funnier at the time.)
Somewhere behind you there’s a crash, and then the thump thump thump that can only mean a person running towards you at dangerous speeds for sock covered feet on cheap linoleum.
“Incoming,” Dennis mutters.
“Did I just hear that right?” Trinity gasps, nearly giving herself blunt force trauma via the back of the couch, “Did Jack just text you?”
“I don’t know!” You cry.
“How do you not know! Your phone is right in your fucking hands!”
“I’m tired! Stop yelling at me!”
“Guys!” Dennis shouts, holding up his hands, “I refuse to spend my day off listening to you two argue over the validity of romance with our attending. Give me the phone.”
He snatches the phone without waiting for a response, quickly typing in your password (if there was ever a moment you regret telling him in case of emergency…) and opening the text.
He makes an incredulous face at the phone before saying:
“He asked what you’re doing today.”
Trinity claps once. “Fucking called it!”
“Trinity!” Dennis snaps, before sighing and tapping at your keyboard, “I’m telling him that you have a headache and you’re at our place and to please not text again—“
“No!” You squeal, launching yourself off the couch, arms outstretched, but your legs tangle over each other and you fall and slam, gloriously and beautifully, face first into the coffee table.
“Oo!” Trinity winces, covering her mouth.
“Oh my god!” Dennis balks, “Are you okay?”
“Just give me the fucking phone.”
Peeling your face off, you grab the phone, squinting at the screen and ignoring the black spots in the corner of your vision.
hi, you type, I’m at Trinity and Dennis’s. Did you need something?
You hit send before you can talk yourself out of it.
“We,” You haul yourself to your feet and stagger over to the kitchen table, “Will never speak of this.”
“I definitely am. When I’m the maid of honor at your guys wedding, I’m gonna give a speech and be all ‘you guys, she gave herself a concussion the first time he texted—‘“
“There will be no wedding!”
“That’s just what you think.”
Your phone vibrates again, signaling a response.
Just wondering how you were doing. Surprised to hear you’re not holed up in your apartment reading something.
Ah, sexy old men and their correct grammar and punctuation when texting. Shouldn’t be endearing.
“What’s he saying?”
“Go away!”
You tap out a quick response.
Not today unfortunately lol I have a headache so no reading for me
Isn’t this the sixth day in a row you’ve had a headache? Should I give neuro a call?
You stomach flips.
nooo I’m fine i get them all the time
That’s not exactly reassuring.
I went to the doctor for them awhile ago apparently they’re normal
Who?
if I tell you, are you going to call him and make him send over my chart?
Yes.
Your heart is starting to pound a fluttering beat in your chest, and you hunch over your phone.
then i’m not telling you. it’s fine, really
they usually go away when i take over the counter stuff
So your plan is just to destroy your liver?
pretty much
We need to work on your planning skills.
we?
I’m not doing all the work.
Now stop looking at your phone. Drink some Gatorade and take a nap.
this is a resident apartment there’s no gatorade here just redbulls
Have either of them buy you one. I’ll pay whichever one it is later. Go to sleep. You need it.
You turn off your phone, shuffling back over to the couch and flopping down onto it.
“I’m taking a nap. Jack wants one of you to go buy me a Gatorade. He said he’d pay you back later.”
“He said what?”
—
You end up sleeping the entire day away, which should have screwed up your sleep schedule, but thankfully you live in a state of perpetual exhaustion and are fully capable of falling asleep anytime, anywhere, no matter how much you last sleep. It’s a gift.
Shockingly, the shift you work the next day is actually much easier to survive and your smiles aren’t nearly as forced. Go figure. Who knew that getting an appropriate amount of sleep would be so helpful?
“Somebody’s in a better mood today.” Jack mutters as you sidle up next to him under the board.
“I’m pretty sure I slept for like, fourteen straight hours. Thanks for the Gatorade, by the way. I woke up around hour three, chugged it, and then went back to sleep. No headache when I woke up!”
“Wonderful,” He drawls, “It’s almost like taking care of yourself is actually beneficial.”
“I take care of myself plenty.”
He casts you a sidelong glance, expression pinched.
“When was the last time you drank water without being prompted?”
“That’s different.”
“Okay,” He dips his head, “When was the last time you ever felt truly relaxed?”
You give him a beaming smile, so wide it hurts. “We’re not going to talk about this right now!”
“You started this conversation. I’m trying to do my job.”
You snort. “You’re waiting to see if someone else is going to take the sunburn guy.”
“Are you accusing an attending of cherry picking?”
“Of course not. Just observing, sir.”
Jack’s turned to look at you now, head tilted up, hands folded behind his back.
When you say sir, his eyes flick down to your lips, and then his jaw tightens.
The air suddenly becomes charged, the space between you two filled with something too electric to be air.
It smells like aftershave, hospital antiseptic, wanting, and something that’s distinctly masculine.
You look away first, swallowing hard past the sudden dryness of your mouth.
“You know,” You say, crossing your arms and looking up at the board, “Trinity thinks you like me. Romantically.”
“Mm.”
“I told her that was dumb,” You babble, “Obviously it’s not true, but. She won’t let it go, so if she says something, just ignore her. Or not. Whatever you want.”
“Why wouldn’t it be true?”
You whip your head around so fast you’re pretty sure something cracks. “What?”
“I mean,” Jack’s voice is gruff as he shrugs once, “Is that really so unrealistic?”
“Of course it is,” You sputter, “You don’t like me.”
“I’ve actually never said that. That was a conclusion you came to on your own. I distinctly recall telling you that I don’t hate you.”
“Just because you don’t hate me doesn’t mean that you like me, let alone— like that.”
Jack tilts his head, almost predatory, and all that sharp tension rushes straight back in.
“Like what?”
Something hot and dangerous is starting to unfurl in your chest, untethering from where it was previously lodged deep behind your ribs, out of sight, out of feeling.
“Code Blue en route, ETA two minutes.”
Jack jerks his head in the direction of the ambulance bay. “You gonna go get that?”
“Uh,” You’re pretty sure you’re stroking out, having a seizure, or something, because the only thing you’re capable of comprehending is the fact that Jack just not-so-subtly implied to actually liking you. Romantically.
“Get going then.”
You scurry away, hot all over and absolutely done with emotions in their entirety.
—
The rest of the week is hell on Earth. Perks of being in your twenties.
Things could be worse though!
Kind of.
It’s just that it’s been several days since Jack basically confirmed Trinity’s suspicions on romance and you can’t stop thinking about it. Obsessively.
It’s bad.
Bad enough that when Mel asked if there was any way you could cover her shift, you said yes.
“Okay,” Dennis stage-whispers as you’re downing your third coffee of the day, miserably charting at the nurses station, “I feel the need to ask how bad things can possibly be if you’re covering a day shift.”
“Mel asked.”
Dennis blinks incredulously. “You love Mel, but not enough to work a day shift voluntarily.”
“What exactly are you asking me here?”
“Did you and Jack hit a rough patch or something?”
“Keep your voice down!” You hiss, ducking your head as if you can hide from Princess and Perlah, “And for your information, no. We didn’t. I just wanted to do something nice for Mel.”
“I don’t believe you.”
“I don’t need you to believe me.”
Day-shift crawls on in a whirlwind of chaos and a level of dumb-fuckery that can only be achieved from the hours of 8 a.m to 8 p.m. As usual, the place is understaffed, overcrowded, and filled with a lingering sense of impending doom.
By the time night-shift starts filtering in, you’re ready to completely give up and start a new life a sheep rancher in New Zealand. It’s always been the plan if being a doctor didn’t work out.
Jack finds you in the locker room once the handoff is over, sitting on the little bench in the same position Dennis found you in earlier. Face in your hands, heels in your eyes, methodically counting breaths and wondering if that fluttering feeling in your chest is from caffeine consumption or sleep deprivation.
It’s fine. Your fine. Everything is fine.
“You don’t look too good.”
“I’m—“
“Don’t say you’re fine.”
“But I am,” You grit, “I just need a minute.”
“Okay.”
There’s the distinct sound of Jack’s slightly uneven footsteps, and then there’s a warm weight pressed against your side.
You take another shuddering breath that feels less like breathing and more like placing a single brick in a wobbly foundation.
“Shouldn’t you be out on the floor?”
“I don’t work tonight.”
You raise your head just enough to look at him. “You don’t? I thought I saw you on the schedule. Why are you here if you don’t work?”
Now that you’re looking at him and not starburst patterns on the back of your eyelids, you can see that he’s wearing casual clothes, not scrubs, and he doesn’t have his usual army-issue backpack with him.
“I got Shen to cover me. I came here for you.”
Your next breath in almost gets stuck in your chest, air struggling to move past that alive and wriggling thing that keeps moving every time Jack is around.
“What’d you do that for?”
The barest hints of a smile tugs at the corner of his lips. “Dennis called me. He said you’d need picking up after your shift.”
Shame, guilt, and embarrassment flood your veins, turning your blood into sickly-sweet poison that makes your stomach roll and twist.
“Oh my god, I’m so sorry, I have no idea why he did that. You really didn’t have to drive all the way over here, I swear I didn’t tell him to call you or something like that—“
“I know you didn’t,” Jack soothes, voice a rumbly, smooth timber that washes over your permanently-frazzled nerves like a balm, “Which is why I came.”
“I don’t understand.”
Jack stands, pulling your bag and change of clothes out of your locker.
“I’m going to ask you a question, and I need you to be honest with me, so you don’t have to answer it again. Can you do that for me?”
You nod once.
“Words.”
“Uh— yeah. Yes.”
“Good.”
Thank god the locker room is empty— everyone’s either on the floor or already left for their homes.
He closes your locker down, shoulders your bag, and hands you your clothes.
“Is it easier for you to accept help when you don’t have to ask and don’t get the chance to say no?”
It sounds so pathetic, hearing it laid out like that. The ugly guts of you; cut open, laid bare, and marked for research. Exhibit A, the inside of the girl no one ever needed to worry about.
You don’t want to agree. You want to laugh it off, maybe run away from it. Sit up straight, wipe your face, take the bag from Jack and explain that this is all a big misunderstanding and you’re perfectly fine and he can stop worrying about you now.
“Yes.”
Jack doesn’t verbally acknowledge your response besides a single dip of his head, like he knows that if he does anything more it’ll turn your response into a confession and that’s just too vulnerable for the hospital locker room.
“I’ll drive you home.”
“I don’t mean to be this way, you know.”
The passenger seat of Jack’s car isn’t somewhere you’d ever imagined yourself being. Not even late at night or on the bus when you’re pretending to be someone else who’s better at chasing what they want.
“It stopped being intentional a long time ago,” your hands are fisted into the material of your sweatpants, nails digging into the fabric, “It was just the natural progression of things. I like being liked.”
What you don’t say, what becomes an unspoken truth that lingers in the air despite not being verbalized, is the survival aspect of it. Why and how a person fuses this kind of thing to their personality; to their life. The circumstances that makes the natural progression of things end it being better for everyone if you just don’t have needs.
“I know.”
“I know you know, I just… needed to tell you. Myself.”
It’s odd seeing Jack illuminated by streetlights instead of fluorescent overheads. It’s odd being able to watch his hand flex on the steering wheel, watching his forearm tense as he shifts gears in his old stick-shift.
“You like being told what to do.”
Your face heats, but you’re determined not to lose face now. Especially after managing to survive being emotionally flayed open, willingly, by him.
“It feels safe. If I know what yo— someone wants, then I can’t mess it up, and I can relax.”
You can practically see the gears turning in Jack’s mind.
“Makes sense.”
The rest of the drive is quiet, the silence only filled by the sounds of Pittsburgh around you and the gentle crackle of something from the radio turned down too low to hear.
And for the first time in longer than you can remember, you begin feeling something that approaches calm.
Jack doesn’t have any expectations. There isn’t any one particular way he wants you to act or expects you to behave like. There’s nothing he wants you to do.
So you do what you want to do.
You relax.
—
In the weeks following Jack driving you home, there is a quantifiable shift in behavior between the two of you.
He starts pulling back.
It strikes you as odd first, and your natural inclination is to pull back too— to guard the soft, vulnerable bits you’ve showed him in case he throws them back at you.
But then you realize what he’s doing.
Instead of telling you how to proceed on a case when you come to him for advice, he asks you questions and steers you to the answer. He holds back when he’s evaluating a case with you, patiently following your lead and only interjecting when necessary.
He’s making space for you try new things and learn without fear of rejection. Building your confidence bit by bit.
It feels more intimate than sex.
After much deliberation, screaming into your pillow, and Reddit forum searching for HR violations, you decide to get him a card. Because he’s actually been really kind and helpful and he makes you feel like you can actually survive residency.
“What’s this?”
“A thank you card.”
You’re staring at your shoes, eyes flicking up and down between Jack’s face and the floor.
“What for?”
“It says it in the card.”
You scurry away, attaching yourself to the closest patient to avoid seeing Jack’s face when he does finally open it.
But when you look back, he’s just staring at it, a small smile on his face.
—
It’s the card that does him in.
Jack hasn’t made his feelings for you a secret, despite your unwillingness to see him as anything other than standoffish in the beginning.
He came on too strong at first— that was his fault. He didn’t yet understand how imbedded your need ran and how long it’d been since anyone bothered to look deeper.
He’d hoped, at least, that you were letting Whitaker and Santos help, and though you let them closer than most, it was clear you still seemed intent on holding up yourself and everyone around you on your own.
But it wasn’t just that. It was the way you oozed kindness— like it was a byproduct of your existence. He watched you get so wrapped up in being the perfect resident, perfect friend, perfect person, that no one ever stopped to let you know how good you were just by being.
He hadn’t planned on developing feelings or anything of the sort. At first, you’d just been one of his residents. Smart and capable but lacking confidence in yourself to fully commit. Then there was that MCI, and drinks in the park afterwards where he’d painfully watched you sip a beer you clearly hated, and everything just clicked right into place.
He never intends to flirt with you. It just happens. He can’t help himself. He’s a weak fucking man when it comes to you.
And then you bring him a card. A fucking card. To thank him for doing his job as an attending, a job he should’ve been doing better from the start. It has an illustration of bananas on it and says “Thanks a bunch!”.
He knows he’s completely gone, then. He was capable of being in denial before, could delude himself into thinking that what he felt was casual, but the sight of you before him, hands nervously wringing, your glitter gel pens sparkling as they caught the light was just the final nail in the coffin.
He allows himself a modicum of flirting on a day to day basis, mostly because if he couldn’t tease that real smile out of you at least once per day, he’d lose his mind.
Sometimes he takes you back to the diner, especially on longer days where none of your smiles reach your eyes and you start obsessively uncapping and capping your gel pens.
Even though you think it “looks dumb” you’ve also taken to sitting shoulder to shoulder with him in the booth, and he pretends he can’t see you sneaking fries off his plate because he knows how much effort it takes you to ask him if you can sit with him instead of on the opposite side.
Then he starts driving you home during a string of bad weather after you start sneezing from walking in the rain everyday, but even after the storm passes and the weather clears up he still finds you at the lockers, every day, car keys in hand. No matter how many times he does it, you always look so happily surprised that he’s still offering.
As if he’s not wrapped around your finger.
One day, after things have been mellow for awhile, Whitaker calls him and says that neither he nor Trinity have seen you in three days and you called out of work.
So naturally, as a calm and collected man, he showed up to your house.
You’d answered the door after the third time he knocked (which was great, because he was gearing up to force the door open) and you just looked miserable. Your hair was a mess, you head blanket wrinkles imprinted onto your face, and your eyes were puffy.
“Jack?” You’d mumbled, squinting your eyes against the not very bright light in the hallway, “Why are you at my apartment?”
“No one’s heard from you in three days.”
You wince. “I swear I meant to text Trinity. I just have a bad headache.”
His fingers twitch towards a penlight he doesn’t have. “How bad?”
“I don’t know. Like a seven on the pain scale?”
“Jesus— I’m coming in.”
“Nooo,” You cry, but shuffle back from the door and put up very little fight as he ushers you to the couch.
Your apartment is….. exactly as messy as he’d imagined a resident who lives alone would be. For someone who doesn’t drink enough water, there are an incredible amount of beverage bottles and cans littered about.
“Do you have headache relief?”
You gesture to the kitchen. “Cabinet furthest to the left.”
While rifling through your very disorganized medicine cabinet, he spies an orange prescription bottle with your name on it, dated for the previous year.
“Why do you have a prescription for a high level antihistamine?”
“Stop snooping. It’s for my migraines.”
“You’ve had a prescription this entire time and you’ve been taking all that over the counter shit?”
“Stop being mad,” You mumble into the couch cushion, “My migraine meds put me to sleep, so I can’t take them when I’m working. Plus I don’t have any refills left so I save them for when it’s really bad.”
“You called out of work and haven’t left your apartment in three days and you don’t consider this bad?”
“Could be worse. Could be throwing up.”
He sighs. Sets the bottle on the counter, breathes in once, then lets it out slowly. Imagines all the ways he could murder whoever made you think suffering alone for three days is preferable to asking for help.
“I’m going to help you back to bed,” He starts, voice low as he rounds the couch, “And then you’re going to drink some electrolytes, have a snack, and take your meds. Okay?”
The migraine has clearly taken it out of you, because you put up zero fight as he manhandles you to your feet and helps you drag yourself back to your bed.
“M’ sorry my apartment is a mess. I was supposed to clean it.”
“I’m not judging, sweetheart,” He says, tucking the blankets up around you, lips twitching as you make grabby hands for a giant triceratops plushie that looks to be the size of your upper body. “I’m gonna make you a snack, so try to stay awake until I come back. Can you do that?”
“Mhm. I’ll try.”
“Good girl.”
He manages to find a cucumber in your fridge, cuts it into slices and then adds a few pieces of lunch meat for protein. Last but not least, he snags a bottle of blue Gatorade from your pantry.
(He only knows they were there because he bought them for you a few weeks ago.)
He doesn’t make you sit up to eat, but instead scoots you a little ways away from the edge of your bed so there’s space for the plate.
You slowly nibble your way through, taking little sips of Gatorade when he nudges the bottle into your hands.
You finish the cucumbers, eat most of the lunch meat, and drink half the Gatorade before burrowing back into the blankets and declaring yourself done.
“Can I have my sleep mask please? I think it’s on the floor under my nightstand?”
“Of course you can.”
After your face mask is on and the curtains closed, he gives you the correct dose of your meds and gently shuts the door to your bedroom.
He fires off a quick text to Whitaker (he doesn’t have Santos’s number) that says you’re fine, stuck in bed with a migraine, and that he’s handling it.
And then he gets to work.
Two hours later your apartment is clean, your laundry is started, and Jack’s relaxing on your couch, aimlessly watching the news.
He hears the door creak open but knows you hate feeling on the spot, so he keeps his gaze trained on the tv even as he hears the sound of you shuffling over to the couch.
And then you pause.
“Jack.”
“Yes?”
“Did you clean my apartment?”
He finally looks over to you, and when his gaze reaches your face his stomach drops.
You’re crying.
He hauls himself off the couch (he’s thankful that he put his leg back on a few minutes prior) and stops in front of you, arms twitching at his sides with the need to fix, help, to stop whatever it is that’s making you cry.
“What’s wrong? Did I overstep?”
“No,” You warble, voice wet, “I just haven’t had the time or energy to clean in here for so long, and it’s been stressing me out so bad I avoid staying here during my off days. It’s just really, really nice of you.”
You look at him, eyebrows pinched and eyes wide with worry, “I— I’m not sure how to repay you for all of this. I know you said going to the diner was fine, but this is— a lot.”
“Sweetheart,” He starts, bracing one hand on the side of your face, thumb deftly sweeping across your cheek and wiping away the quickly drying tears, “I’m not doing any of this because I expect you to repay me. I’m doing it because I care about you and I want to see you happy.”
You sniff hard. “This is a lot of work, though.”
“I like doing it. I like taking care of you.”
Another sniff. “It doesn’t seem very fun.”
“I told you. You’re like a cat. Had to coax you over and now look at you,” he thumb rubs circles over your cheekbone, “Practically purring.”
You wrinkle your nose. “I don’t know if I like this metaphor.”
“Get used to it.”
You sigh, dramatic and long.
“I suppose I’ll allow it.”
“Oh, you’ll allow it, huh.”
You fold your hands behind your back, rocking back and forth on your heels. “Yes. I’ll allow it.”
“Well, aren’t I lucky.”
Later, when you’re lying on the couch, two movies into what Jack thinks is an unofficial early 2000s rom-com marathon (your favorite genre) you turn to look up at him from your spot tucked into his side.
“This is romantic, right?”
He presses a lazy kiss to your forehead, because he knows how much you like physical affirmations as well as verbal ones.
“Yes.”
“You’re serious about this?”
“You need confirmation?”
“I’d rather have it in writing, but this will do for now.”
He huffs a breathy laugh, tucks you closer to his chest.
“I’ll put it in writing for you later.”
You hum, pleased, and snuggle back into him, letting out a content sigh.
A neglected reader raised by the old ladies of Gotham.
.
.
.
The appearance of Bruce Wayne’s daughter was quite a scandal. She was born from a flimsy woman, an unknown who was quick to sign her parental rights away and get out of the picture with a big check.
His daughter made her debut and lost public interest in a month. Her name was not heard again until her twelfth birthday. She was not the youngest, just a middle and forgettable child, a touch too shy to ask for help when a vapid man pestered her while her siblings and father were busy making connections.
Mirna could still remember dear Martha comforting her after a hard beating, keeping quiet in her shame while using her nursing degree to patch Mirna up. Martha was famous for her tea dates, where women would come “pressured” by their husbands to make a good impression on the Waynes.
All a lie. Martha would spot a woman in trouble and send an invitation.
Times have changed; fewer women are ready to endure a bad egg. But when it was almost a miracle to have a decent husband—one who would only shame you with whores—it was sweet Martha who stood up to help in silence, even when most of them envied her.
Thomas was a jewel, too much in love with Martha to hurt her in any way. The perfect marriage, a dream that ended too soon in a dirty alley. They had endured their tears at the funeral, afraid to show their love for Martha, knowing that their husbands had only allowed their interaction with the understanding that it was more a chore than a joyous time.
Their grief was quiet, but the women that Martha had saved grew up to stand by themselves, to honor her friend in a tight group who would help other wives in need.
The bad eggs were fewer with each generation, but they still stayed vigilant behind snarky and bitter masks. If they could raise the ire of a man in less than five minutes, they would mark him on the blacklist. If he was single, he would find no wife in all of Gotham.
They were old, nosy, and worse... committed.
So, seeing Martha’s granddaughter by herself, and quite obviously forgotten by her father and siblings, made Mirna’s heart ache. Mirna, of course, disposed of the man as soon as she got near, but didn’t stay to chat with the young girl. Still, she told her niece to keep an eye on her. She wanted to believe that this was the mistake of just one night; dear Brucie was sometimes forgetful, but she had seen how much he loved his kids, defending them with fierceness.
More galas came, and each time they saw her alone. What made them move was her smile, that cursed smile full of brightness that concealed the weight of a broken family behind it.
They had worked so hard in honor of Martha, then seeing her granddaughter, who mirrored her in all her beauty, made them seethe in rage.
They may be trapped in their marriages, but Martha’s granddaughter will not be.
The first thing was showing her how to find the secluded room that guarded their little club at each gala. Gaining her trust was not easy work, but experience came to hand more times than not.
“I don’t need pity,” she would reply with anger.
“Don’t be silly, girl,” Olivia would snap. “Needing help doesn’t make you less.”
Olivia was a widow, a lucky widow whose spouse had left a big fortune and no hidden debts. She was the prime benefactor of the tea club, mocked for it. Those outside their circle would only consider it an expensive way to gossip, where old crones would throw venom at each other.
There was gossip and venom; they needed to have their own fun. But they were not heartless, bitter old bitches.
Nosy, maybe.
“I’m not my grandmother either.”
“Oh honey, we can see it,” Olivia laughed. “Dear Martha didn’t need anyone to defend her.”
“Olivia!” reprimanded Esther at her rude words.
“But she was a grown woman; you are just a girl,” continued Olivia. “So, if you are smart enough, you would see this as an opportunity.”
The anger stayed in her eyes, but curiosity was born.
“What for?”
“To seek a life of your choice, be free of your golden cage,” Mirna said. “Let us train you, so one day you become a shining star above everyone else.”
A single tear fell upon her cheek.
“They are never going to love me, are they?”
“I don’t have the answer, but don’t chase love, dear.” Mirna cleaned her face. “The only one who you must seek to love is yourself. Those that come after must give you affection freely, not with conditions.”
Things changed for the better. While Bruce and his children remained quite ignorant of her affairs, Alfred spotted the sudden bond between her and the old ladies of Gotham and chose to say nothing. He had seen her loneliness, so the change on her lips, where a sincere smile adorned, was a nice sight.
After school, she would go to Olivia’s mansion, take lessons, and hear old anecdotes. They would encourage her to take piano lessons, wear clothes even if she separated from her family’s usual trend, and not care about her calorie intake.
Even if not all the days were good, they stayed. Through her tears and laughs, a bond forged deep in their hearts: no longer only Martha’s granddaughter, but theirs. A precious girl who grew up to be a breathtaking lady, one who could command a room with kindness, but be just as stubborn as her grandmother when seeing someone in need of help.
Being a socialite was way different with social media, but their knowledge was put to good use. Their darling would show them her Instagram account; the millions on it made them proud as peacocks. The photos were carefully selected, but what melted them was the way she was proud to show her “Fierce grandmas,” as she titled the shot with all of them in the middle of a Sunday brunch.
The care they had given her: every day, she paid it forward.
So, while their dear girl didn’t need a man... they lived to see her fall in love.
A good man; they made sure of it.
So, with their go-ahead, Charles proposed. When the call came in the middle of the night, the congratulations came as quickly as tears appeared.
And how late Bruce saw his daughter. Too late to rectify his neglect, but in time to see her form her own family.
“Father,” she called, arriving in the morning. “Sorry to interrupt your breakfast. I know you’ve got a busy schedule, but I think a year is enough notice.” She spoke kindly, but not affectionately. “My wedding is next spring; could you take three days to be in Monaco?”
The answer doesn’t come, so she continues to talk.
“Maybe two days? You can skip the rehearsal, but if you don’t come to the wedding, everyone is going to talk more about it than about my big day,” she explains.
Bruce exhales.
“W-wedding?” he asks. “With who?”
Shock is so overwhelming that his mind doesn’t register at first how his daughter negotiates the days just to make him come—the way she only wants him there to evade gossip, not from a need to have her father there.
“Charles. I presented you to him two years ago, at the charity gala for Women’s Empowerment.” She sends him a resigned look. “Last week, we took our engagement photos in the mansion. I left you a note in your office.”
He didn’t remember Charles or the note.
“Maybe he could come to dinner today?”
He needed to text the kids to know if they knew of this.
“Really?” She arches an eyebrow, annoyed. “I have invited you and the rest plenty of times to come to dinner with us; you always ghost us.” She tells him, “I thank you for the invitation, but we are taking a plane tonight, so we can’t come.”
She goes after that, without getting an apology or an explanation. Just leaving a white-and-golden invitation that smells faintly like cinnamon.
He finds the note she mentions. The thing is that the office is more a facade; he is more comfortable in the Batcave. His kids know to leave a note there if they require his attention... just not her.
His only child out of familiar vigilantism. And he finds that this runs deeper than a moment of forgetfulness; at best, he has been absent. Stacked in one of the desk drawers, he finds more notes.
There were plenty of them from her childhood; they became shorter, colder, and fewer after she turned thirteen. He read glimpses of her life that he ignored... neglected.
It was hard to find that he had not been her father at all.
Alfred finds him in the middle of his unveiling.
“I think I lost hope that one day you would read them when the young miss was ten.”
“You never mentioned the notes to me,” Bruce’s voice is barely a whisper.
“I did, at the beginning,” he says. “But Gotham was turbulent, and your focus—Master Wayne—kept slipping back to the city.”
“And I give her nothing from me.” Dread has made a home in his chest. “I think the birthdays that I attended were barely because I stepped in by mistake,” he confesses. “I handle the rest of the kids’ gifts, but I can’t remember picking hers.”
“Mrs. Wilson had done it every year, just like the Christmas gift,” Alfred told him. “You should give a bonus to your secretary; she has fine taste.”
A bitter laugh left his lips.
“Did she even know I’m Batman?” he asks.
“If she does, she has never mentioned it.”
Even if she knew, after all these years it was barely an excuse to have lost most of her life.
“She is going to marry some guy called Charles.”
“I know. She called when he proposed; she was delighted.” Alfred sighs. “Master Bruce, this is not fixable, but the least you can do is make her wedding the best day. Spare her the sorrow of the media pointing out your absences; they have done it before, and she has denied it with a smile, even if it was painful to lie.”
He nods.
Night comes, and before the kids leave, he asks his children if they know that their sister is getting married.
“Cassandra?” Dick asks, confused. “With who?”
“Can’t be married if we disappear the groom,” says Jason.
That their assumption goes straight to Cassandra just shows Bruce how she is barely part of their lives.
“No, idiots,” Tim calls out. “The princess is marrying; it’s all over her social media.”
“You knew?” Bruce questions, hopeful that one of his children had formed a bond with their sister.
“Hard to miss when it’s all over the news,” he says, still putting his weapon in place. “It’s good she’s leaving; she’s quite delicate for the city.”
“I don’t know how that weakling has kept herself alive all this time,” mentions Damian without cruelty, just stating a fact.
It hurts Bruce more than words can express, the way they dismiss her like gossip. But how can he demand their care when even he ignored her whole life?
He realized that she had lived her whole life being a stranger in her own home.
No father and no siblings... and now, upon her marriage, for the first time all his thoughts focus on her.
Too late to reach her, to show her he loves her, even when he has not cared for her. So, he does more than the least she expected from him.
When next spring comes, he takes the whole week to concentrate on the wedding. Seeing her surprise and relief is enough. He can’t condense years of apology into a single week, but he tries his best to make this week special.
He is there every morning during her bride meetings, even if he stands out like a sore thumb between her friends and the three older ladies who check every corner of the venue like it is a war field.
“Charles is taking his car to race; you can go if you want, Father.”
“I’m okay here, sweetheart.”
She smiles at him, even if not fully convinced.
He had investigated, but observing the life she had made by herself was quite different from seeing it from a screen.
She has inherited the title of “Princess of Gotham” that the media once threw at him, but while he wore it scandalously, she uses it with grace. Her life is gentle, but she has worked hard for it, with the help of the older ladies that he once marked as exhausting.
They are not the harpy he made up in his mind, not if they care so deeply for his daughter. Now he sees it was a facade, just like his Brucie persona.
Walking her to the altar is agonizing. But he supports it with a smile. She smiles shyly at her soon-to-be husband, and he looks at her, full of devotion... In a single second, he can almost see his parents in them.
The rare love he thought he would never see again. He finds himself crying in silence for the girl he failed, for the woman who has found happiness, and for the daughter he never saw.
Alfred silently extends a handkerchief.
He has no right to feel like he is losing her when he never took her hand. Apologies don’t come out of his mouth, but when the dance arrives, he embraces his daughter tenderly.
“I wish your happiness lasts all your life, my dear daughter.” His voice chokes a little with emotion.
There were not enough apologies to reverse what he had done. His daughter observed him for a long time in silence; tears glinted in her eyes, but some storm in her heart calmed at his words. She didn’t forgive him, but she laid her head on his chest.
For the first time, she stops being defensive in his presence. He treasures the moment and the photo.
Three years later, in winter, he travels for the birth of his first grandchild.
He shared happiness that he didn’t deserve, barely holding back a sob when his daughter presented his grandchild in a Batman blanket.
They share a knowing look while Charles coos at the newborn.
“You were not a father at all,” his daughter confesses years later, “but you are a wonderful grandpa.”
Extra scene.
They were quite conscious that she would move with her husband to Monaco, and while keeping in touch was easy nowadays... they had always been nosy! So it must not have been a surprise when the three old goats decided to retire to Monaco too.
Someone had to keep the fort safe when Charles went to race for Ferrari in the season. And, of course, their darling traveled with him as much as she could, so they were always preparing her a suitcase with outfits for the next country.
So, it came as a shock when suddenly a book called “Gotham’s Tea Club” was published.
Martha’s altruism was well known, but the depth of it revealed a tale of how kindness could surpass death and travel through time. Decades after her death, her good heart had even touched her granddaughter.
A lot of women, even if some in anonymity, shared their testimony. Kindness had not stayed only with the wealthy; it had reached even the lowest neighborhoods of Gotham.
Esther reads with tears how her old housekeeper remembers her acting quite bratty about how she needed to stay in the mansion during Christmas, even if she “must” bring her children with her. That winter they were homeless after her husband died and left her with three little children; she described how her old boss acted cold-hearted but was all warm and fuzzy at her core. The kids and she stayed for a whole year, always under the excuse of how Esther could “endure” them just to keep the house working. They got a new place with cash her youngest child found inside her teddy bear.
No word was shared, and there was no surprise when Carmen told her boss she had found a place. She worked for Esther till the kids graduated college, never telling her how she had replicated the tea club in her own neighborhood.
Carmen was not the only maid who learned to run a tight group of women helping each other. The tea club kept strong for years to come, no longer a silent secret, but a movement.
summary: dennis is not only your boyfriend, but your roommate, and your destressor. shenanigans ensue.
word count: 3k
contains: fluff & smut. trinity/dennis/reader roommate agenda. stress & upset from a bad day at the pitt. softdom!dennis, whiny!reader. *fingering/fingers in mouth, kitchen sex, getting caught. *no use of y/n
a/n: here you go anon 💝 ;) ignore me using plotlines from ER to storybuild i was doug rossing the reader and exodusing the hospital HA
—————————— ˚₊‧꒰ა❤︎໒꒱ ‧₊——————————
Living with Trinity and Dennis used to be difficult before Garcia came into the picture. Now you practically lived in an apartment with your boyfriend and kept Trinity’s stuff for safe keeping. But you couldn’t complain– at least you got time alone. That was really all you wanted anyway.
Starting your rotations at PTMC would have been terrifying if you didn’t get stuck with the group you follow now. On your first day, you came in off a terrible experience at Mercy upstate, and when you met the other R1s and fourth-year med students, they seemed to be familiar with each other. You were the odd man out. But Dennis was, too. While Mel reconnected with Samira and Trinity struck gold with Perlah and Princess– not to mention Victoria's parents literally being on the upstairs payroll– you two were the only ones who hadn’t made a connection. Well, some might say that your floundering was the connection. You hit it off in your first hour, and have been inseparable since.
The year was hard on both of you during the transition from student to resident. You were intent on specializing in pediatric emergency medicine while Dennis had his sights set on being attending chief, just like Robby. Outside of the traumas, Dennis followed Robby for teaching, and you used each spare second to pick up younger patients and build on your study.
You were working on an experimental treatment study that gave kids power over how they treated their pain– letting them choose their dosage, their care, their desired results. Children were more honest when they were trusted, you found, and it was all being done in the hopes of drawing attention not only to the sheer volume of peds cases that came through the ER, but the necessity of having a pediatric resident on at all times, and possibly even a pediatric attending physician. So, you and Dennis technically weren’t so different… Either way, it was a mountain of effort.
Even though he didn’t have the same academic drive to make change, Dennis admired you helplessly. He thought you were a genius, an angel-doctor, someone who they should give awards to for how sweet you were with children and how devoted to improving patient care you could be. You made him want to be a better agent of change, not just a good doctor.
While it took twelve months to get the hang of the place, you and Dennis were finally doing well. As a pair, you got accepted into the residency program at PTMC and were finally getting paid. You went in on a shitty downtown apartment with Trinity, hoping to save money by carpooling and splitting rent. And you were hopelessly, disgustingly in love.
At first, Trinity couldn’t stand you two. It was easy enough to ignore at work, because in order to stay focused you and Dennis decided to be neutral around the hospital. It made your lives easier and avoided any potential teasing or prying, especially from the nurses, who were dead set on sniffing out everyone’s business. But the second you guys were off the clock, he had his arms wrapped around your waist and he was steering you, petting you, kissing you; it made her sick sometimes. The lip smacking, the little giggles. Sometimes she would purposely get a ride home with Mel just to beat you to the apartment and lock the door, if only to preserve her peace for a few measly minutes. The frustrated banging on the wood was better than hearing you guys canoodle.
But once Trinity got together with Garcia, her frustrations were far and few between… and hard to even see anymore. She was never home. The girl had started keeping clothes and scrubs at Garcia’s place, and if she did come back, it was to do laundry or eat the fridge. So, you and Dennis finally had peace and quiet. After those long days in the emergency department full of staring eyes and stress and death, you could come home to each other and soak up the softness of each other’s silence. Like tonight.
It had been a particularly hard one– nearly seventeen hours on the clock. There was some freak toxic spill in a factory across town, and over twenty patients had come in with chemical burns and gashes from slipping and falling down stairs onto machinery. Hazmat came and closed off half the emergency wing, and everyone had to be cleared from quarantine and hosed down in the frigid air before coming or going. It was torture. Dennis drove home in his truck, the both of you soaked to the skin in paper-thin sterile scrubs, starving and shivering.
You stumbled through the apartment door, dead on your feet. Dennis took your bag and trotted off to drop the belongings in the bedroom, while you veered into the kitchen, yawning and shaking out the shivers as you yanked the refrigerator open.
“God,” you pouted, “We forgot to go shopping again.”
The soft patter of footsteps echoed down the hall, and a strong pair of arms wrapped around your middle. Dennis tucked his chin over your shoulder, squeezing your tummy. “I can call the Chinese place. They’re 24/7, right?”
“Think so,” you grumbled, rubbing your eyes. “I’m just hungry. And tired. And annoyed.”
“Anything else?” Dennis laughed, the rumble soothing your spine. You spun in his arms and faced him, leaning back against the counter and moping.
The apartment was a mess. The kitchen hadn’t been cleaned in days. There were clothes and shoes littering the living room, and Santos had a pile of papers covering the coffee table. Your research scattered the work desk by the bookshelf. It just felt like you never had time to catch up anymore, to take two seconds to clean up; when you got a day off, you slept through it on Dennis’ chest or your sad and forgotten pillow, just in case it would be another week before you got the chance. As you looked around, you felt the overwhelm of it all rushing back, and you dropped your head on his shoulder.
Dennis sighed softly and pressed a few smooches to your hairline. “I can see your wheels turning.”
“Doesn’t it bother you?”
“Bee, I lived on a farm. I’m used to the mess.”
You managed a tiny smile at the name, nodding to yourself. He was right. It could always be worse. You could still be living in the med student dorms, where the showers were riddled with mildew and your roommate slept with her boyfriend all night, forcing you to get no sleep. At least you had this privacy, and this man in front of you who ensured you kept it.
“I’ll call in an order.”
You sighed quietly as he pulled away and wandered back to the bedroom to grab his phone. For all the things he admired about you, you admired that about him: his ability to let things roll off, to take the good and leave the bad. You let everything affect you, but he never failed to have a good sense about him. He was way too wise, and it was why patients adored him. That and maybe his warm eyes, or his gorgeous, crooked smile, or the way he said “ma’am” and “surely” with that midwestern charm.
You rooted through the medicine cabinet to grab some acetaminophen as you listened to the dull babbling of Dennis on the phone, and you rested against the counter as you took the pills dry. Your feet ached, the black work shoes worn down from any support they once offered. You were still cold from the wet roots of your hair. You were in a miserable mood, and the apartment was lonely without his warmth. You closed your eyes and tried to take your mind off it all, and that was when you felt hands scooping you off your feet.
“Oof– Dennie!” You squeaked, wrapping your arms around his neck in case he dropped you.
Dennis grinned and hoisted your legs around his hips, bracing you against his chest. The pads of his fingers dimpled the soft, bunching skin of your thighs. “Yes?”
“Why am I being handled like a ragdoll?”
“Because you flail, and it’s cute.”
“That’s not a good enough reason,” you laughed, and he readjusted so his palms could cradle you dubiously close to the spot where your legs jointed to your ass. “I think you just wanted to squeeze me.”
“That, too,” he hummed, kissing your cheek.
“Put me down,” you mumbled, nosing his jaw.
“Why?”
“I’m heavy.”
“You are not,” Dennis scoffed, giving you a comical look of offense.
“Yes I am! Come on,”
“No,” he frowned, and he squeezed the underside of your legs to drive the point home. “You’re lighter than a hay bale.”
“I really don’t think that’s possible.”
Dennis narrowed his gaze playfully and slid you onto the kitchen counter, caging you in. You huffed at the relief of being put down and ruffled his hair, to which he shook the mess out like a dog.
“Did you get me an egg roll?”
“You’re not heavy,” he interjected.
“Okay, I’m not heavy.”
“Good. Correct,” he confirmed, and with a tiny glint in his eye, Dennis slid his palms up your legs and sides, caressing the spots where you curved and rolled. The farmboy was quick to trap you in a soft, unassuming kiss, and you melted on the faux marble, coiling around him once again.
Dennis grunted softly as he pressed close to the counter and wrapped his arms around your back, sneaking his fingers under your scrubs. Your mouths worked in tandem as he drew patterns down your spine with one hand and kneaded the pudge of your tummy with the other, making you squirm.
“Just been so stressed,” you mumbled, trailing your kisses down his neck.
“I know, honeybee,” he panted, nipping your ear and pressing you against the cabinets.
“You always make it better,” you confided, tugging sluggishly at his shirt.
“Come here.”
The air settled softly over the room as you two gave into the urge. It wasn’t a tense moment, not even a worked-up one. It was just like letting a breath out. His hands were so welcome on your hot skin as he freed your legs from the chafing prison of those hazmat-issued scrubs. Your mouth was so grateful for the traces of soap on his collarbone as you nibbled and suckled on the meat of his chest, caressing the ridges of the abs that formed in secrecy over the last year of hauling patients and volunteering at the shelters and community farms after hours. It was a simple exchange of love between two people who have been leaning on each other for over a year, and who simply didn’t want to function without their counterpart. The mesh of passion in a quiet little safe place.
Dennis tucked his thumb under the cotton lip of your panties, sinking the pad into the wet heat between your folds. He sought the throbbing nub that required his attention. You choked on a moan as your back straightened out, and you curled your fingers in his hair, breathing the air of his mouth as he began to encircle it.
“I’m sorry you had a bad day,” he murmured, prodding softly at your clit, smearing the mess over your mound.
“You had one, too,” you wheezed.
“Yeah, but I’m not upset,” he purred, giving you a little nip and kitten lick at the juncture of your neck and jaw. His palm adjusted to let his greedy fingers tuck under the cloth, and you grunted as he cupped your cunt. “I hate seeing my girl so drained. You’re too pretty… too smart for that.”
“Dennie,” you moaned.
“Yeah? Right there?” Dennis asked as he sunk two fingers past your entrance, feeling the pulse of your needy walls like a heartbeat around his knuckles. “Oh, baby… you’re so wet, sweetheart.”
“S’all your fault,” you whimpered, grinding gently onto his palm.
Dennis hooked an arm behind your hips to help angle you forward, and he crooked his fingers inside your cunt, grinning as the familiar squelch gargled around the digits. Your face twisted with need, and he began to gently thrust, pressing the heel of his palm to your clit and working out circles.
“That’s it, honeybee, come on– just take what you want,” he cooed, giving you every opportunity to rock against his fingers and use him up. “My little bee, yeah? You like it when I’m sweet.”
“Yeah,” you agreed, breathless and dizzy with pleasure. His hands should be exhausted from all the work he did on those trauma patients, but he made no show of it. The man’s fingers petted your g-spot like it deserved a treat.
“You’re so pretty, baby, did I tell you today?” Dennis whispered, attaching his mouth to your neck. You felt the scrape of his teeth. “So, so pretty.”
“Dennieee,” you begged, feeling the heat building in your gut. The combination of his pressure on your bud and fingers stroking your walls was enough, but the words made it impossible to hold out.
“Gonna cum, honeybee? Yeah? You can, don’t worry, baby. Come for me, let me see your face.”
Dennis always had that tone when you got desperate. Easy, gentle, as if you were a spooked horse. There was no fighting off the butterflies as they flitted happily around your spinning, floating orgasm, making you shiver and twitch as he wrought a crashing wave of pleasure down on your body. You moaned hoarsely and clung to the corded muscle of his arms, bucking into his palm and babbling weak, “Ah, ah, ah…”s.
Dennis smiled against the curve of your neck and pulled his fingers free, sliding them between your lips and exploring the hot slick of your tongue. He watched your pouty lips close around them and suck, and his cock twitched in his pants. “That’s it. Good girl, honey.”
You flushed from the praise, body buzzing and shaking with stimulation. You reached down to cup his erection. Dennis tensed and hooked his fingers over your teeth, biting the inside of his cheek. “Jesus, baby.”
“You need it, too,” you pleaded, gently palming him, watching his cheeks burn and his lips part.
“Fuck,” he moaned, and you tugged the string on the scrub bottoms free so he could shimmy them down.
Dennis was not one to get greedy often, but it was so hard not to let the urge overcome him when you watched him with those bog doe eyes and begged to be fucked. Your legs wobbled like a calf as he dragged you to the edge of the counter and lined himself up, gliding the head of his cock through your folds to coat the pink, hungry skin in the residual slick. The two of you let out a freakish, synced sigh, and he pressed the tip in with impatience. He was met with no resistance– your cunt stretched dutifully for him, and soon enough he was grunting like an animal, pinning your hips to the counter and watching your breasts bounce from the force.
Your knees hitched around his hips as the deep, eager force of his length speared you, and you lolled your head back against the cabinets, clawing at the edge of the counter. “Dennie, baby, please, please…”
“You feel so good, baby,” he whined, thrusting harder, watching the creamy rings start to form around the base of his cock. “Fuck. Such a sweet girl, honeybee, such a good girl!”
“S-so… so…”
He chuckled weakly as you lost your train of thought. He thought you were pretty without fail, but there was something to you when he had you at the mercy of your own pleasure. You seemed to glow, skin shimmering with sweat, all your bountiful curves twisting and turning with marshmallow torque. He gasped hungrily as he dug his nails into the fat of your thighs and moaned, “So fucking beautiful… God, could just squeeze you ‘til you pop.”
The heat wrapping around your womb in vines was pernicious and unrelenting. You licked up a stray droplet of drool from his chin as he pounded into you, and you threaded your fingers into his hair, dragging him into a sloppy, wonderful kiss. Dennis’ lashes mingled with yours as you swirled your tongue past his lips, jolting with every thrust, milking him to his breaking point. The heat between your bodies was overwhelming, and it was so good, so deep–
“Hello? Guys, I’m home–”
The apartment door swung open, and Trinity was ambushed by the sight of Dennis fucking you like a jackrabbit on the kitchen counter, your scrubs pushed up over your tits and his pants at his ankles. The poor girl covered her eyes and swallowed a spontaneous upchuck reflex. “What the actual fuck?!”
Dennis didn’t stop, he only slowed. A mortified expression crossed his face as he begged, “Get out!”
“Yeah, no fucking shit!”
The door slammed, and Trinity could be heard barking and grumbling down the hall. Maybe Garcia had to cancel their plans tonight. Maybe God had planned to embarrass you. It didn’t matter now, though, because Dennis was spurred on by the intrusion, and he pumped into you hard enough to burst. The two of you fell into a messy fit of laughter and lost, climactic whimpers as his hips stuttered and warm, thick ropes clung to your insides.
“Shit,” you wheezed, “She’s gonna kill us.”
“It’s our apartment, too,” he grinned, kissing your chin and resting his heavy forehead in the dip of your shoulder.
“Yeah,” you flushed. “Maybe you should go get her.”
Dennis lifted his head again and slipped two fingers into your mouth, shutting you up with drooping, sated eyes. “Just shut up and stop worrying about everything, honeybee… yeah?”
You could explode all over again. It was that stupid farmer’s voice. All the adrenaline and weight of the day dissipated again as you hummed around his fingers, a tiny “mhm.”
Dennis sighed happily and tugged you close again, feeling his cock jump inside your heat, and he kissed your cheek. “That’s my girl.”
Trinity could wait– he had to make sure you were tended to first. The explanation and the possible rent redaction could be handled later. Preferably clothed.
summary: you had always adored damian… till you overheard his complaints to his brothers on your clinginess. so why was it that when you decide to give him what he desires, he is the one trying to close the gap he desperately wanted?
pairing: damian wayne x fem! reader
content: hurt-comfort, angst+fluff, hea, grovelling+yearning, desperate damian who bites his own words that make him go through it, reader with boundaries
“She’s clingy.”
Damian’s voice is unmistakable. Cut-throat, swift in its delivering blow. Even with his back turned to you, you could recognise it in a heartbeat.
“C'mon, Dames.” Dick teases. “You enjoy her company.”
A cold, scathing scoff echoes. “Her smothering can barely be considered company. Consuming my entire week—then coming along to the gala just to torment me further? You're mistaken.”
Pressing the gap of the door shut, your numb fingers dig into the wood. His bitter admission parted from his lips so easily. His harshly thrown words didn’t just shatter your heart physically into pieces—no, there isn't a harsher tidal wave crashing over you than the realisation that whatever bond you shared with Damian was a complete, utter lie.
Damian, who was prone to being harsh with his words, but had never gone out of his way to hurt you on purpose. You had even considered it a charm of his, because there had always been something tender laced within his actions, that always spoke louder than his words.
When he quietly swapped his plate with yours, a quiet consideration without ever once looking up, having memorised your allergies without you realising.
When he subtly placed his hand behind your back in galas, chasing off vultures who aimed for your status, with a silent glare that places you under his direct protection.
When he carried you all the way to his bedroom after a bad sprain on your ankle from a bad fall down the stairs in his manor, with biting remarks and a tender caress over your swollen skin as he applied an ice-pack, worry creased into his brow.
Was it all a ruse?
The wound is only inflicting on itself with every memory torn apart and searched for any evidence, any signs for his dislike. You trusted Damian, which is why it hurt so much to hear him talk about you this way. As if those small moments were all mere inconveniences for him, that burdened him. You had assumed he at least reciprocated your friendship, but now… if only he had faced you instead, with an honest willingness to express how uncomfortable he was.
If it was space Damian wanted, he should have communicated it with you. Instead of mouthing it to his brothers behind your back, without allowing for your voice of input to clarify on the boundaries he wanted.
You don’t notice time passing, standing in the corner of the hallway, your heels digging into the soles of your feet—till you felt a heavy hand on your shoulder. You flinch, brushing the sudden grip off only to find Damian in your swarmed vision. Concern flickers in the green flecks of his eyes… or was it annoyance? The ability to read through his mask, it feels as if it’s been an illusion all along.
“Spaced out?” Damian taunts, one brow cocked at your strange behaviour. "I told you not to come."
I told you not to come. You’re not sure what is the appropriate response, not when you feel a clog in the back of your throat. You never had to think twice on your words before, not in front of him.
“Tired.” You admit, because at the very least, that word carried a semblance of truth. You’ve never felt more exhausted in your life, and the culprit was standing in front of you, completely unfazed. “I think I should head home.”
His eyes widen imperceptibly, not expecting you to take his words so literally. You were never one to skip out on a dance before a gala has ended, no matter how boring the event was. Often, you’d drag him by the arm as your partner, only because the look on his face was easily the best memory of the night. At least, it should’ve been.
His lips part, ready to form his signature 'I told you so', but your ghastly expression makes him hesitate. He clears his throat, offering his hand and slotting himself by your side. “Very well. I’ll escort you.”
“No.” It blurts out quick, desperate.
His surprise slips through his impassive expression. His hand still outstretched—freezes, doubt etched into the crease of his mouth.
“You should be with your family.” You reply, straining a smile. “I won’t take up more of your time.”
It was meant to sound considerate, but the quickness of your tongue made it sound like a solemn promise.
His eyes narrow in puzzlement but you’ve already turned, moving out of his reach towards the exit. He doesn’t make an attempt to stop you, and it hurts that maybe, part of you still hoped he would. To prove his statement wrong, that you mattered more than being a nuisance.
You’ll give him what he wants. Space. Maybe you needed it too, to understand the emotions weighing on you. This hurt—betrayal—shock, you needed time to process it. To reevaluate what Damian Wayne really means to you.
Damian hasn’t heard from you in two days. In the past forty-eight hours, he has tracked your location to ensure you weren’t kidnapped, or lost your phone. Both suspicions were refuted, and the only anomaly that remains is your uncharacteristic silence ever since that night at the gala.
His gaze flickers back to the opened message channel, where his text ‘Have you arrived?’ remains unread. Running a hand through his locks, this may be Damian's first—for his conclusions to come up empty. His text was a mere front, an opening to ask about your wellbeing. His confidence in your reply was absolute, and he never once considered ending up in this standstill. Despite being apart from your constant presence, he finds that you’re somehow occupying more of his mental capacity.
He should’ve went after you the moment he saw that strange, desolate expression on your face when he found you, hidden alone in the corner. Your solemn attitude rang caution bells, concern—which is why he offered to bring you back. It was instinctive, natural. He never expected your rejection. The sting caught him off-guard, words of concern trapped in his throat. He didn’t master the skill of comfort as easily as you did, with sweet, honey words easily coming to your forefront.
He’s overthinking the situation, analysing it till the details have gone runny in his hands—blurry aside from the clear vision of your back turned towards him. Still, there was something about your goodbye… that left him strangely unsettled.
"There you go again." He hears your teasing voice, already memorised in his mind—a poke of your finger against his cheek. "Overanalysing the situation. Just ask me, Dami."
He shakes his head, trying to dissuade the many possibilities that ended in zero conclusions. It’s not a big matter. Today was one of the rare occurrences where his biology classes coincided with yours, leaving a lunch break where he could demand for answers. He’s sure that once he sees your usual, brightened expression—the discomfort in his chest will disappear.
Damian waits with strained patience outside your lecture hall. Various eyes are casted onto him—a rare, Gotham Times worthy sight of a lone Wayne waiting for some mysterious figure, but the attention is none of his concern. His eyes are locked on you instead, watching you pack your bag through the open gap of the door, the AC blasting a cold breeze against his nose bridge.
You’re laughing at some unheard joke from this distance, and it should soothe his worries—to see you refreshed compared to your exhaustion two days ago. He understands better than anyone how exhausting those galas are, which is why he tried to dissuade you from attending in the first place. Still, you had insisted on accompanying him, much to his chagrin. He at least hoped you didn't flunk your midterms today by overexerting yourself, despite his previous warnings, or else he really wouldn't be able to restrain himself from saying I told you so.
All fleeting thoughts of teasing you are discarded at the sight of an unknown blond male, chatting you up and making you laugh as hard as you did. His foot taps in a repeating manner, discomfort swarming in his chest the longer he watched, before catching his own fretting and forcing himself to stay still. This unknown variable is not a problem. Once you spot him, you'll come to his side instead—naturally.
This reassurance paces his impatience, waiting for you to notice him as you made it towards the door. His chest rises, anticipation creeping in as your head raises—and meets his gaze.
You smile, like you always do, and it has the same application of a soothing balm over the minor migraine he's formed from over-checking your coordinates. Waiting for you to come to him, his lips part with a ready excuse for why he came to find you instead of meeting at your usual lunch spot.
Only for you to walk right past him.
He blinks, unable to process what just happened. Impossibly in a single moment, he became invisible to your eye. His mind works in overdrive, unable to piece the facts together that you just walked past him. The probabilities calculated don't align with reality, but his body reacts faster. His hand reaches out, grabbing onto your wrist impulsively—right as you made your turn towards the hallway.
You stumble, gaze flickering down to his grip in surprise. “...Damian?” You blink as if stunned, like you hadn’t just walked past him like he was a ghost.
“You haven’t responded to my messages.” He blurts out with almost immediate regret. Now, his position comes off as a confrontation, and that blond is staring at him with vague amusement. Pathetic, he feels shame burn in the back of his throat. This wasn't how it was supposed to go.
You stare at him unblinkingly, before your mouth parts in acknowledgment. “Ah, that. Tim should've updated you, did he not?”
Tim. A heated frustration arises in his chest, but he can’t figure out what exactly is stoking the fire. The realisation that you prioritised Tim's messages over his, or your strange nonchalance to his concern. “You’ve been conversing with Drake?”
“I needed his help with finding a new collection—he’s also a fan of the series.” You shrug. "With the midterms and his constant updates about the shipment from Japan, I must’ve missed yours."
“Your business with Drake isn’t my concern.” He spits out, harsher than intended. An uncomfortable slither of emotions is writhing in his chest, and the thought that you and Tim have been conversing in secret all along these past two days, bonding to something he wasn’t privy to... it was irritating.
Why had you gone to Tim instead? If you had asked him, he could've easily gotten you the collection.
“What is our relationship then?” You implore casually, eyeing his reaction. “If your concern is so situational."
Whatever he was expecting, he didn’t expect that. His lashes flutter, his composure all but ruined as his mind tries and fails to merge the you he knows, and the you in front of him. You don't seem angry. So, why was he beginning to feel a sense of dread?
“Weren’t you the one who always decided the labels for us?” He asks after a moment, his voice rough against the unexpected impact of your question.
Your expression finally flickers, disappointment slipping through the cracks of your smile. His response has displeased you, even he could read into that.
“I’ll let you answer for us this time.” You reply, and it’s distant—cold. Unlike you. “You can choose whichever you deem fit.”
“Wait.” His rushed voice sounds desperate even to his own ears. The sight of your back turned towards him is something he never wanted to see again. His gaze flickers between you and the blond, questioning. “Are we not supposed to have lunch together?”
You turn back, staring at him with an unreadable expression. Your smile reappears, but it doesn’t reach your eyes. “I’m having lunch with Lawrence, so it’s okay. You don’t need to accompany me.”
Damian views the world akin to a battlefield. There are allies, enemies, changes in fronts and positions. He has fought hard to feel deserving of every position in his life, whether it had been his grandfather's heir, his father's blood son, or Robin. Right now, he feels as if his position beside you has been ripped out of his hands. Accompany? Is that how you saw it, like some sort of duty imposed on him that you could dismiss him of whenever you pleased?
"See you around, Dami." Even his nickname given by you comes off flat from your tongue. As if you were going through the motions, interacting with him from behind a wall that's suddenly been constructed without his notice.
You weren't completely ignoring him like he suspected, but this distance... feels much worse.
There was something, very obviously wrong.
You aren’t sitting beside him. In the seat reserved for you, that’s meant for you.
It had been set from the very start, maybe initially because the two of you were the only children ever-present during family business dinners... and later, with your constant chattering that the adults found had an amusing effect on him.
He's gotten used to exchanging cuts of his meals with yours, or swapping his glass if his had more ice cubes in them, because you liked your beverages freezing cold. Used to you whispering unrelated stories and jokes into his ear when his father talks business with your father, and he has to resist a quirk up his lips because it would mean that you won in your little game to crack his exterior. Now, it's as if an entire routine has been disrupted, and Damian was a man of routine.
He watches you, eyes like a hawk over your every movement, trying to detect any pause in this unreachable mask of yours. You slice your steak without fault, placing your cut between your lips as you nod along to your father's words, seated at his right hand. You don't blink an eye in his direction, and he's tempted to walk right over and drag you out of that very chair.
To corner you in a space without prying eyes, and... what? He swallows dryly, forcing himself to look back down at his untouched meal. What could he say without sounding like a lunatic?
That he suspects that he's done something wrong merely because you've switched seats today? Or that you've been skipping out on lunches with him. Or all the way back to that cursed gala, when you had refused his hand to escort you back home.
Another troubled ‘Tt’ slips past his gritted teeth, and that finally reaches your ears.
When he meets your curious gaze, a silly gust of hope appears so quickly in his chest at the luck that he's finally caught your attention. He raises a brow, a silent question, gesturing to head to a private room with the tilt of his head. You've always understood his silent words better than anyone else did.
Which is why it shocks him when you merely cast your gaze back to your father, leaving his question unanswered. He wasn't deluding himself in this occasion. You're clearly rejecting his gesture, pretending as if you never saw it.
His grip tightens, crumpling into the table cloth, shame colouring his features. He has to put an end to this. Regardless of your coy act, he knows you. Maybe you had a bet with one of his brothers—who knows what schemes they've configured after their constant interrogations during the gala, successfully running a fuse on his temper.
Or maybe, he’s displeased you with an inadequate response. You had mentioned it before, the term 'labels'. Honestly, he never once considered trapping you in something so jarringly concrete. Bonds, human connections—they were always needlessly complicated.
What you meant to him, it expanded beyond the limitations of languages. You, who saw past his sharp exterior and pushed him beyond his limits, and him, who found himself staying despite every rational thought pleading him not to expose his weakness so easily out in the open.
It was simply natural from the moment he met you, instinctive to remain by your side just as you always found a place to slot beside his. Terrifyingly easy, that he refused to let anyone see the softness you evoked out of him. It was meant for you, and only you. Now, the strike of your absence, despite being only a few feet away from him, is running a deeper cut into his conscience, tracing back to the questions that's been bombarded on him by his siblings.
But—what does she mean to you, Dames?
What would your life look like without her?
In a desperate attempt to brush off questions that aroused a panic he had never felt before, he came up with quick, venom-filled words to dissuade his brothers. Oddly enough, he never wished to reveal what you meant to him, not aloud.
It made it feel too real, too vulnerable. As if the world could swallow you whole if he admitted just how irreplaceable you were, that he couldn't envision a life without you by his side. His grandfather had made it so—that any weaknesses should be removed from its roots.
He did not want to remove you from his life, so you are not his weakness.
He's tempted to curse his brothers to oblivion. If only they hadn't sprung such obnoxious questions, then these thoughts wouldn't be invading him, and the universe wouldn't have punished him for it.
He had already felt the brimming inevitability of something bound to go wrong the moment he was faced with vulnerability. If it had been anyone else, he would have retreated in a similar manner as he always had. To not show weakness, to prove that he was above silly affections and attachments to others—but it's you.
He has to fix this. Whatever it is that's wrong. If only you would look at him, then maybe you'd see his desperation too and let him in.
Damian doesn't receive an opening till the next gala. A cruel twist of fate the universe has decided to play on him, as if openly mocking his distress, to end up right back where the entire fiasco started.
He's barely kept himself sane. In these past two weeks, you've only responded to his messages—horrible attempts of reconnection, with mere one word replies, and visited the manor to hang out with his other siblings. When he had caught you lounging on Tim's bed, ranting about the new series you both were so invested in, he nearly tore the door straight off its hinges.
He craves for your silly rants during lunches. Your presence dipping the corner of his bed as you sketched doodles of his family in their vigilante costumes. Your warm laughter that soothes a long night of patrol.
He misses you... terribly.
It doesn't help that you're a vision tonight, only worsening the trembling ache in his chest. Dressed in your favourite colour that make you so strikingly vivid, already seared into his mind as he stares unblinkingly, he doesn't realise he's been holding his breath till your heels click with an ever-increasing volume towards him. Your nearing approach is what finally snaps him out of his daze, and his hand immediately shifts. Out of mere habit, for you to hold onto his arm as always.
Your hand doesn't lift to meet his, remaining stuck to your side. It pushes him off balance, and he has to force himself to respond when you greet him.
"You...look beautiful." He admits, his voice a weakened imitation of itself. He hates this, and you look—you are beautiful. So much so that it hurts. Even if he tried to reach his hand out for you, he has the suspicions that you’ll only back away from his touch.
"Thank you." You smile politely, and the tone of your voice, practiced and composed, stings.
His lips part, ready to pull you aside and ask what he has done wrong. He is ready to do whatever you ask, to plead for forgiveness so long as that look in your eyes finally fades, anything to get you back. The real you, not hidden behind cruel distance and polite masks.
A familiar, dreadful face cuts in before he can. Damian’s gaze hardens, trained on the blond that's been trailing after you since two weeks ago, who currently has his hand outstretched for you. His scowl falters, panic swarming his instincts—when your own hand reaches out to take the stranger's invitation.
He utters your name, a weak pulse forming a lump in his throat.
You turn back, casting him a quick glance like his existence was an after-thought. "Lawrence offered to dance with me earlier. We'll catch up later, Dami."
His chest seizes completely. He doesn't process the alteration of his own steps, only finding your wrist captured between his fingers, his shoe stepped in between the gap of you and your dancing partner, functioning as an opposing barrier.
“I’m afraid—” His voice cuts in, deadly calm. “—she already has a partner for tonight.”
Your head whips around, unable to hide your shock. His jaw clenches, eyes narrowed at the suitor who's dared to try for your hand. Perhaps it's his building paranoia stemming from your continued absence, but the sight of someone taking you away by your willing hand is truly driving him mad.
It doesn't take long before Lawrence registers the message Damian sends with a single, warning glare. Hands off.
Finally able to breathe once the bastard's been chased off, he turns back to meet your gaze and is surprised to find the barely concealed anger in your eyes. You've never looked at him this way before.
That same discomfort that's plagued him constantly for the past two weeks builds in his chest at the thought that you even entertained the possibility of dancing with Lawrence. Damian had always been your dancing partner, no matter how much he claimed to dislike partaking in galas like these. If anyone was going to deal with sore feet from the accidental missteps of your heels, it will always be him.
“Is that the label you’ve decided on?” You ask, the first words uttered without that strange, distant tone you've used before. “Partners?”
“Does it displease you?” He presses, trying to gauge your reaction. “I will change it to whatever you prefer.”
You purse your lips, conflict arising in your gaze. “I don’t understand you.”
He exhales lowly. “I should say the same for you. You are the one who’s—” His jaw twitches, desperation slipping past his façade. “—drifting away.” From me, why are you acting as if I don’t matter—as if this doesn’t matter?
He shouldn't have drank all that wine from earlier.
Alcohol doesn’t affect him, not with its supposed dizzying sensation and loss of control when recklessly consumed, but it did make him bolder, his tongue sharper. Yet, seeing you trying to evade him—out of his reach, he found himself doing something he sworn to never do—being impulsive.
At the lack of your response, his hand still wrapped around your wrist tugs gently, a quiet plea for you to say something. He feels useless, small—and you're the only thing he desperately needs. To help him make sense of the chaos that's consumed his every waking thought, that's plunged and follow him into his dreams.
Eventually, you sigh. "We should talk."
A small hope reignites at this chance you've given him. It's automatic, already mapped out in his head as he guides you to an empty room on the second floor. You don't rip away from his hold at the very least, but from your strained steps, you're not ecstatic to be with him either.
Shielded from prying eyes once he shuts the door, you're quick to pull your hand out of his hold. His own mask fractures at the loss of your warmth—but when he forces his gaze away from your disconnected hands, he finally sees you shed your own to reveal your honest expression. You look tired, a mirrored reflection of the agony that’s been inflicted on him these past two weeks.
You settle at the loveseat, head resting on your palm as if the very weight of your unreadable thoughts have consumed you, leaving you exhausted. If only he could reach in and unravel them himself, to understand the change in you.
“Drifting away?” Your voice muses at his words, and it lands like a punch. Do you truly not understand what you've done to him? “You’ve seen me the entire week.”
He shakes his head adamantly, coming to stand before you, neck craned down to face your averting gaze. “I won't be easily fooled. You’re avoiding me. Standing in places you’re not supposed to be.”
It sounds childish. God, he was being driven insane the longer you stood there, finally in his sights and he just couldn’t stop drinking you in.
“Opting for the furthest seat. Skipping lunch breaks. Accepting another dance partner. Ignoring my messages. Not being by my side.” It pours out without stopping, even as he feels warmth burn at the back of his neck, reaching his ears. “Your behaviour has changed. Even when you're close, you’re out of reach.”
“And you say I’m the clingy one?” Your expression flickers, a mix of hurt and solemn amusement.
His brow creases. “When have I ever—”
His own voice echoes in his mind, in a taunting afterthought. “She’s clingy.”
The gala. The interrogations. Your sudden change in behaviour. You overheard his callous comment. His reckless mistake.
He calls out your name weakly. The gravity of his mistake—it feels as if the entire universe is collapsing onto him.
You let out a sigh, and the acceptance in it terrifies him. As if you’ve already prepared yourself in these past two weeks, to fully be out of his life.
“I overheard you at the charity gala.” Your admission coincides with his guess, and your unwavering gaze leaves him stripped of all his defenses.
It's dawning on him in quickening alarm, with how each passing day, you must've lost hope in him. That his careless words must've wounded you deeply, leaving you to rightfully pull away. That he is a complete and utter idiot, who has hurt the one person he swore to protect.
"Do you feel less smothered? After all, wasn’t space what you wanted?” You ask, and there is no anger in your voice—only apathy. "It was what I needed."
The admission silences him. His heart is thudding so hard that he hears the rush of blood in his eardrums.
No. It wasn’t what he wanted. Your absence has ruined him, and it wasn’t the faults of his brothers, or revealing his vulnerability. It was all on him.
“Isn’t it better for us both, if we kept our distance?” You propose. “Since we’ve gone past the line of hurting each other. It’ll be convenient for the both of us, and less burdensome for you.”
Your calm demeanour is a bigger slap to his face than you shouting at him, demanding for him to apologise or to make things right. In the face of your acceptance, it’s as if you expected that this was the outcome he wanted.
He has a paralysing realisation, that if he doesn't beg for your forgiveness, you'll never come and seek for his repentance ever again. With every passing second, he feels time running out of his hands as your expression closes at the lack of his response, ready to abandon the room. Abandon him.
Desperation strips Damian bare of his pride when his knees hit the ground, landing harshly before you in the lowest form of begging. He doesn't give you time to process what he’s done before his fingers gently wrap around yours, caressing them with a firm grip.
“Damian!" Your expression warps in shock, meeting the intensity seared in gaze. "What are you doing? Get up—"
“I was wrong.” He admits without hesitation. “All the words I said, not a single one of them holds the truth.”
Your shock dampens, and he sees the barest hurt displayed on your expression. It pushes him to strain past his walls, to keep speaking if it meant not seeing your back turned towards him.
“You asked me to define us once, by labels.” He recalls. “I am not good with words. It has always been—difficult. To understand when to push further and when to fall back. To not act as if every situation is a death sentence if I bared my vulnerabilities out in the open, but—I know that my faults are not an excuse for my actions."
"I have broken your trust and left you feeling unsure of your position in my life, and I must correct it. You are not clingy, or a burden. You are the most important person in my life."
“The lies were nothing more than a cover... my brothers had caught onto my attachment and wouldn't give up on their interrogations.” He admits through the grit of his teeth. “They were always more observant of what I tried to push down, and my behaviour around you—it was obvious that you had an effect on me. It's as if you are the center that I gravitate towards, pulling me in towards your every whim and desire.”
“They tried to help me make sense of it, and I panicked. Selfishly, I wanted to keep my weakness a secret only known to the promises I've made for you in my mind. My fondness for you felt like a curse if I revealed it.” He whispers. “I had always assumed that what you held closest to your heart is what you should guard the most."
“I uttered those foolish words because I had assumed that if only I knew the extent of my devotion towards you, you would be safe. That we could continue as we always had, without declaring a target on your back, so that the world wouldn’t rip you away so easily.”
“I was a coward.” He murmurs, pleading in earnest. “I have mistreated you and taken you for granted. I tried to convince myself that lies were better than revealing the truth, which is that I have always coveted to by your side."
"I am deeply sorry. For ever making you feel that you're anything less than.” He breaks. "That couldn't be further from the extent to which I adore you. To which I need you. I can’t imagine a life without you, so—"
"Please—" He's never been taught to beg, but he can't lose you. Even if it takes him years, decades to regain your trust, it doesn't matter. "—it is selfish of me to beg for your forgiveness, but I will do anything. I will explain the full truth to my family. I will take on any punishment but—I can’t lose you. These past two weeks have been torture, and... I miss you."
Finally, after his chest is heaving with the burn of his confessions and a lack of oxygen, does he quiet. In the face of your coming judgement, he has never been more nervous in his life.
"Damian." You mutter. "I have not forgiven you."
His breath hitches, and despite all he's done to expect this outcome, he couldn't have been more unprepared for the impact of the blow. His hands falter around yours, and his knees have gone weak.
"W—What do you want me to change?" He can barely hear his own voice over his rapturing heartbeat. "Is it something I said? My behaviour, my actions—I can improve. I can fix this."
You give him a look that signals that you're not done. He forces himself to quiet, lips pursed as he slowly—painfully waits.
"In these past two weeks..." You admit. "I really tried to reevaluate what you mean to me."
"I understand you, more than anyone else has because you've let me in." You answer. "But just because I see you—and I know that's a vulnerability you don't easily show to people—doesn't mean that you get an easier way out."
"You did hurt me. I'm acknowledging that, and because I care about you, it hurts even worse." You reveal. "It wasn’t fair that you brought up such harsh words to describe me behind my back, and it’s not going to be something I can brush over easily, no matter the reason. I don't think we can fully go back to how it was before, not without moments where I will feel doubt. That's a trust you have to rebuild, not just with one big apology, but through your words and actions, every single day."
He nods, hanging onto every word you're willing to give him, even as your vocal admission of him hurting you feels like a vicious whip.
"But I am willing to give you that chance—to heal the hurt you've caused me, to prove that you won't pull away when you're scared I'm getting too close." You declare. "I'm giving you a chance to fix your mistake, because I know you, Dami. I know you'll keep your promises, and that you have a heart. One that's willing to change."
He lets out a shaking breath, and he finds your fingers caressing over his in a gentle touch. Not forgiving him completely, but reassuring in its warmth.
"I—" Left bare after pouring his heart out, the adrenaline rush that came from his full vulnerability has finally left his chaos-ensued mind blank.
From the very moment you had entered his life, it was an undeniable fact he had only grown to understand, to not fear—and it was that he loved you. The same distant concept he once viewed through the multiple perspectives of others, now existing right there in his beating heart. Yet, it didn't feel right in this moment. Not when you were giving him this chance to rebuild the trust he has broken. He will wait, for as long as you'll let him, he will cherish anything you'll give him.
"I know." You whisper, silently reading what he’s trying to convey through a single glance. "We'll figure us out together."
He sighs, head falling against your lap, lips brushing over your intertwined fingers—a soft, imperceptible kiss to your knuckles. It's natural, instinctive, everything he could ever want. To rest in your presence that’s finally allowed him to breathe again, surrounded by your warmth and voice.
"I thought you hated dancing." You muse.
"Not when it's with you." He admits quietly. "I haven't trained myself to bear the crushing of your heels, just for someone to take my place."
"I can't believe you called me the clingy one." Your amusement doesn't displease him, not in the slightest.
"Perhaps I shall reinstate our relationship to my brothers then." He murmurs. "I'm sure they'll have a field day once I admit that I'm the one who can't bear to be without you."
Finally, he hears the familiarity of your laugh. He has missed that.
"I'd like to see that."
likes, reblogs, and comments are highly appreciated! <333
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The Pitt x Reader x Batfam, Dr Robby x Wayne!Reader
This is my Masterlist for my crossover series between the Pitt and the Batfamily (and by extension a few other DC superheroes and villains) - it's a little bit of a slow burn romance
The reader is the sister of Bruce Wayne, she works in the ER, wading through the slough of patients. But maybe she finds a little bit of balance in the form of her attending. The catch is, no one at the Pitt knows who she really is or who she was? How long will that last?
Chapter 1: Day In , Day Out
Chapter 2: Just One of Those Days
Chapter 3: The Day It All Started (for him)
Chapter 4: The Day It All Started (for her)
Chapter 5: Days of the Past
Chapter 6: The Day That Just Won't End
Chapter 7: Just A Few Days
Chapter 8: When the Days Just Feels that Bit Heavier
Mini Chapter 8.5: Shark Has A Heart
Chapter 9: Going to Remember This Day ♥️
Chapter 10: Days of Newfound Bliss
Chapter 11: Crash My Day
Chapter 12: What A Day
Mini Chapter 12.5: The Daily Scoop from Supes
Chapter 13: A Day Without You Feels Like Forever
Chapter 14: Days Apart
Chapter 15: Take a Day Off, They Said, It'll Be Fun, They Said.
Chapter 16: Today of All Days
Chapter 17: When the Day Bleeds into the Night
Chapter 18: Training Day
Chapter 19: Do You Ever Regret That Day?
Chapter 20: Please, Not Now, Not Today 💔
Chapter 21: This Day Was Bound to Happen
Chapter 22: Hollowness of the Day
Chapter 23: The Early Light of Day
Chapter 24:Let Me Spend My Days With You ❤️🩹
Chapter 25: Discharge Day
Chapter 26: Days Spent With You
Chapter 27: First Day Back On Shift
Chapter 28: You Learn Something New Everyday
Mini Chapter 28.5: Shut Up and Breathe
Chapter 29: Days In The Manor
Chapter 30: Made My Day
Chapter 31: Tomorrow is Another Day
Mini Chapter 31.5: Don't Worry Hun
Chapter 32: That'll Be The Day
Mini Chapter 32.5: I Had A Little Help
Chapter 33: For The Rest Of My Days 💖
Chapter 34: The Start Of A Beautiful Day
Chapter 35: Day Of Surprises
Chapter 36: Day After Day
Chapter 37: The Day I Found Home 💍
Chapter 38: Dreaming of Sunnier Days
Chapter 39: One Day At A Time
Chapter 40: Days Wrapped Up In Your Embrace...
Below are a few chapters following their lives after Chapter 40, exploring little snippets of their family life! 💖 (I just couldn't resist!)
Mini Chapter: Bring Your Daughter(s) To Work Day
Mini Chapter: Gentle Mornings
Some Mini Chapters Still Incoming.
But Overall the Story is Complete!! 💖
THANK YOU TO EVERYONE FOR ENJOYING MY STORY!
Find my Main Masterlist Here
*I’ve left the reader’s age as vague, but as she is Bruce’s younger sister I’ve sort of written it in mind of being about early to mid 40s around about. While it is an x reader, using the last name Austen as a cover. (I promise there is a good reason for this) You can imagine her appearance however you wish, as an adopted or blood sister of Bruce. I’ve tried to keep any description as open for interpretation.
*I’m not basing the batfam off of one strict thing (but am using a fair few images from WFA just cause I like the consistency and their visual portrayal) 🤷♀️
(I've also posted this onto my ao3 under RedSakura101)
Likes, Comments and Reblogs are always welcomed and appreciated ♥️ and thank you to those enjoying my little fic! I am lowkey freaking out at how many people are reading and liking this 🥹
Feel free to let me know if you’d like to be tagged 😊
summary: by accident, you help clark slip on his old class ring– and slip into the skin of a man you’ve never met… but don’t hate.
word count: 6.1k
contains: fluff, angst & smut. redk!clark & farmboy clark, banter, drinking, nightclubbing. jealousy. reader gets groped by stranger, clark gets angry and mean because his baby feelings are hurt. *unprotected piv, slight exhibitionism, dirty talk (& use of slut as a petname), rough but consensual (bruising, drooling, etc). remorse & makeup. *no use of y/n
a/n: oh my god
————————————͙͘͡★———————————
You knew the ring was a bad idea because it was ugly, but you didn’t think it would crack tile or leave bruises. It was all an accident, really. A… very big accident.
It all started when you were going through Clark’s old boxes in the Kent Farm attic.
Clark was trying to speed up the move into your freshly rented apartment in Metropolis, but you insisted on poking through all the souvenirs of his childhood that his mother kept. Some of which were mortifying, because Clark did not have the hallmark tokens of a normal childhood. Instead of a first loose tooth, Martha had kept the first metal pipe Clark had ever broken with his bare hands. It was just a bunch of junk that tracked his progression of strength, but it clearly tickled you. You had been giggling all morning as he packed. It was only when you reached the high school box that you found the real treasures– his varsity jacket from the one and only year he was on the football team, pictures from proms come and gone, cassettes full of his moody music. And lying at the bottom of the box in a little lead container… a ring.
“Hey, what’s this?” You called out to the shuffling sounds just beneath you. Clark was in his old room, trying to box up his books.
“What’s what?” He shouted.
“This ring!”
A slight brush of wind rustled the hair against your neck, and the piney scent of Clark lingered at your side. You peeked at his profile, his furrowed brows, and you knew it meant confusion.
“A ring? What ri–”
You grinned and grabbed his palm, slipping the ring on his finger. You saw the knuckle twitch as if he was going to pull it away, but you were quicker. You tucked it snuggly to his digit and admired how the ruby stone seemed to glow against the tan of his farm hands. A class ring, you figured, and a gaudy one at that. “I never took you for a sentimental guy. I thought you hated high school.”
Clark felt a rush of something familiar; something that made his stomach initially curl with sickness, but was then replaced with a low buzz; a thrumming through his veins that felt like a shot of energy. If you were looking in his eyes, you might've caught the red blaze that illuminated them, but your attention was on the ring. Clark rolled his shoulders back and smirked down at you, the soft scent of your perfume clogging his nose.
“I did,” he purred, taking the bejeweled palm and sliding it under your chin, tilting you up for a kiss.
You let out a surprised little huff as he tilted your head back too far, and lifted it up so high, he actually hoisted you off the ground by about an inch. It didn’t hurt, but you felt your weight suspending. His lips sealed over yours sloppily– Clark usually never kissed you without care– and you grabbed at his arms to try and leverage some of your own weight. Against his mouth, you mumbled, “Mm- Clark, put me down- what are you doing?”
He laughed softly and let you plop right back down on your tailbone, and you grunted. He reached out to ruffle your hair, and he watched the strands brush over the beaming stone. “Kissing you.”
You looked up at him with rosy cheeks, narrowing your gaze. He looked… weird. His smile was crooked, not that full-toothed picture you were used to. And his eyes were big. Wide open. Like something spooked him. “Are you alright?”
“When am I not alright?” Clark grinned, hooking his hands under your armpits and yanking you to your feet.
“Woah–”
“You smell good,” Clark grunted and backed you up against one of the beams in the attic, hard enough you heard it creak. His lips attached to your neck like a leech, and you let out a little whimper.
“Hey– ow, Clark, you’re smushing me too hard!”
Clark’s big palms let up on pressing and instead slid down your back, until they curved over the swell of your soft tush and found purchase. He chuckled at the hysterical pitch of your yelp.
“Clark!” You pushed him off with some effort, staring up at him in shock. “What’s gotten into you?”
“Nothing,” he lied, “Just excited to move in with you. Live our lives together. Give you little babies to run around with.”
“Babies– what?” You flushed profusely. “You’re– are you sure you’re okay?”
Clark rolled his eyes, almost like his long thread of patience had suddenly been snipped. “I said I’m fine.” But his tone softened again– however soft he was capable of being with the rush of his boiling blood– and he coaxed your jaw back, pressing you into another kiss that quickly shut you up. Between stealing the breath from your throat, he whispered, “Let’s go out.”
“Out where?” You panted.
“Dancing. Drinking, I don’t know. Somewhere you can look pretty for me.”
Your flush spread down your neck like a rosy infection. “You’re being very spontaneous.”
“Take it or leave it,”
You laughed at his sudden suaveness, and you kissed him again. “I’ll take it.”
——͙͘͡★——
The next thing which should have persuaded you that something was wrong was when Clark insisted upon going to a nightclub in Metropolis, of all places. He hated going there for work, let alone pleasure. But he was in this ridiculous bout and you couldn’t help but bend to his will– he could be so persuasive when he just kissed you into agreeing…
He put on a leather jacket, something you did not even know he had. And he looked killer in it. It had a collar like a cloak, sharp and on the same incline of his jawline, almost as if he’d had it custom-made. Maybe he did, because you’d never known a shirt to do him poor favors, but this jacket… phew. Tight. Promising to distract. It was like he knew you were into the mood swing in some twisted way, and wanted to toy with you. You were undeniably worked up. Who wouldn’t be? He was surprising you, asserting himself in a way you’d never seen. You adored his meagerness, you’d never wish for it to change; but what’s the harm in a little play now and then, when all he does is work? Clark dedicated his life to saving people, enduring torture and meeting it with kindness and unyielding hope. You were surprised he didn’t act reckless all the time with all that power coursing through him.
Of course, you might not have thought so if you knew about the red Kryptonite. In fact, you didn’t know there was any other color than green. He hadn’t seen it, touched it, since high school, and you were a token of his time in Metropolis. Post-farm, post-Smallville meteor freaks. When he chose to tell you the truth of his biology, you had been so gentle, so receptive, and when he told you about the kryptonite, you panicked. You were afraid you wouldn’t recognize it if you saw it, and you might be the very one to hurt him. He had never seen such fear in you, and like an idiot, it had blindly persuaded him to keep a few other dangers a secret, so as not to terrify you any further. He was not yet at the stage of understanding that all secrets are a dangerous affair. He was still at the stage of hoping that he could protect people by keeping some things hidden. That would not last after tonight.
Clark had plopped you unceremoniously on a street corner downtown, seemingly not even looking to catch any bystanders, which made your stomach flip with thrill. He was being careless, and paired with his sharp smile, you didn’t mind for now. You squeaked as he yanked you up the blocks into the inner hub of nightlife, your black dress squeezing your curves and coat catching the brick corners of buildings.
“Maybe after we can go get ice cream or something,” you suggested, clinging to Clark’s arm.
“Ice cream?” He snickered low, peeking down at you, as if the wholesome idea was utterly stupid. “Bunny, you’re lucky if I don’t drag you to my bed after this.”
You flushed all down the valley of your neck and shoulders in the cold wind, and felt the growing thumping of bass beneath your heels as Clark ushered you down a main street lit by neon signs of clubs and bars. This was a seedy part of town, and it made your embarrassment flourish. “Jeez, Clark, if that’s what you really wanted, you know you could’ve just asked. We could’ve stayed home.”
“I didn’t want to fuck you at home. Well, at least not yet.”
Your cheeks burned deep as he tussled you in front of a line full of waiting patrons to a place near the corner. You remembered vaguely one night he’d had you beneath him in his childhood bedroom, taking his sweet time, and you asked him to talk a little dirty; he had said, “Baby, I don’t even like that sort of thing. You aren’t something I use, you’re someone I’m lucky to even touch. I’ll try it if you want…” That had made you infinitely more horny than any sleazy phrase or nickname ever could. There was no kink stronger than being the object of Clark’s honest affection.
You couldn’t even see the sign, only a velvet rope that held people off from a descending staircase into some club that was surely wall-to-wall with people. Clubgoers drunkenly protested as he strongarmed his way in front, and he slipped a few bills which you couldn’t make out to the bouncer, who begrudgingly let you both down the steps. You raised an eyebrow at him, but all he did was lick his lips and nudge you down.
The music was so loud it hurt to even come close to. You wandered down the staircase, which took a sharp left at the bottom towards a dingy glass door. When he opened it, a thick wave of recycled air smacked you in the face, like walking into a bathroom while someone was showering. Your coat stuck to you as you slipped down a brick hallway lit purple and blue by pulsing lights, and you felt Clark’s possessive grip on your hips like handles, pushing you forth into the crowd as it opened up before you. A sea of dancers and drunks swayed, bobbed, leaped above your head, on the ground floor, over the balcony, on poles, in cages like birds. You thought these sort of clubs could only be found in Gotham, all their debauchery included, but clearly Metropolis had its own seedy underbelly.
Goosebumps rose as Clark peeled your slick coat from your skin and tossed it at a coat check woman, who (you were sorry to say) seemed untrustworthy with it. “Come on,” he purred in your ear, “I want to dance with you.”
You stowed your concerns about the place and people for a moment, because there was no such thing as danger when Clark was around. You trusted him with everything in you.
Clark swept you through the crowd of sweaty skin to the center, under a glimmering chandelier. The strobe lights flickered and painted the club with rainbows as he drew you in close, hands curling in your hair and down your spine, swaying you into something resembling a beat as this hard, heavy music battered your head. You smiled when you saw him gazing down at you, tucking your hair back from your warm face, hungry as a dog.
“I don’t know what’s gotten into you,” you shouted over the crowd, “but I don’t hate it!”
“Shut up and dance,” he called back, and he nosed his way into the crook of your neck, sinking his teeth into the offering of your skin. You slithered your arms around his neck and let your eyes flutter shut, surrendering to the swooping feeling in your gut.
It was good for a while. He spun you around, smushed you to his chest, danced you into a place where you felt like drinking. Got three drinks in you, your magic number, and then three more, and feasted on the margarita-syrup on your lips. Soon enough you were the one swaying him, dropping lower, shaking the parts of you which giggled, which begged to be kneaded. It was in the middle of a particularly dirty song, one that had him spinning and squishing you, that a rough body slipped behind you and smoothed its palms up the backs of your thighs. Your fuzzy brain scrambled to make your sluggish body turn around and catch the culprit.
“Heey,” you slurred, blinking hard and trying to whip around. The hands reached your ass before you got there, and you yipped, swatting at them. It was a man– just some unmemorable, drunken man– but it didn’t matter now. He would be lucky if he was a man at all in the next five seconds.
Clark noticed your alarm and snapped out of the haze that was touching you, and his eyes were engulfed in flame. His hand snatched out and twisted the guy’s arm in a horribly unnatural position. The music smothered his cry of pain.
“How would you like to have no hands to touch my girlfriend with, motherfucker?”
You flushed nervously and clawed at Clark’s arm. “Hey! You’re hurting him!”
Clark glared down at you, at your gorgeous cheeks, the sympathy in your eyes. Sympathy for a pervert. Sympathy for a man that wasn’t him. He shoved the drunken nobody back, casting him into a sea of girls who squealed and swallowed him whole, and a jealous rage infiltrated his body. Clark seized your wrists hard enough to hurt, and you whimpered, drunken eyes fluttering.
“Ow! Clarkieee…”
“Quiet,” he barked, and before you had time to see what was happening, he hoisted you over his shoulder like a sack of meal and shoved through the floor toward the bathrooms.
You felt sick to your stomach as the club blurred around you. You couldn’t focus on any one thing, and so the reprieve of a shutting door helped to ground your churning stomach. A bit of shock rippled up your knees as he set you roughly against a tile wall, grime clinging to your dress, cold seeping into your feverish skin.
“What was that?” he snipped.
You blinked and flushed deeper, furrowing your brow in confusion. “What was what?”
“You defended that asshole. He fucking groped you.”
You couldn’t control the heat of your skin. “You were… hurting him,” you swallowed, words thick with tequila.
“He shoved his hands up your dress, and you blushed like you liked it.”
“What?” you hiccuped, “I didn’t–”
“What, am I not enough for you or something? Huh? Don’t I do it for you?”
You grunted as he pressed you harder into the wall. You could’ve sworn his eyes were glowing, but everything felt like it was flashing from the illusion of the strobe lights imprinted in your vision. He was constricting your lungs with the weight of his body, and his paw hooked under your knee, hitching you around him.
“Don’t be stupid–”
“Stupid? You liked getting groped in front of your own boyfriend,” he growled, squeezing the flesh of your thigh hard enough to leave spotted bruises. “Like some kind of slut.”
You swallowed thickly, head spinning and heart pounding. He was being extraordinarily rough, behaving so unlike himself. But something in you liked it. Craved it, even. How many times had you wished he would just hold you down and take what he wanted? You were always won over by his entreaties of gentle touches, slow thrusts, soft words spoken into your neck. You loved being cherished. But every now and again, when he got eager, he’d just apply a little pressure, and you were a slave to that feeling. He was a superhero, for Christ sake, and he refused to use his strength. That wasn’t crazy to want… was it?
Well, it didn’t matter now. You were getting what you’d secretly wanted. And you were getting it right now.
“Somebody’s gotta teach you how to behave,” he grunted, dropping your leg and twisting you around, pressing your soft tummy against the wall. The sinks were adjacent, along with their mirrors. Your glazed-over eyes peeked at the reflection of Clark’s body, hard lines and tall stature, imprisoning you against the tile, hiking your dress over your hips. You whined softly.
“You like this, don’t you?” he panted, unhooking his pants with precision, not wasting a second. “You like being trapped. Getting what you deserve.”
“Clarkie,”
“What was that? Huh?” he whispered warmly, pressing the heat of his withholding erection between your thighs, lifting you a probable inch off the floor with his barehanded hold. You moaned at the show of strength, and his eyes narrowed with a possessive pleasure. “Jesus. You’re drooling.”
You licked your lips, feeling a wetness on your tongue. You didn’t mean to, but your brain was throbbing inside your skull. You were drunk and he was grinding into the notch between your legs. You flushed deeper, which only seemed to anger him more.
“Bad bunny,” he snarled, slipping his thumb under the bridge of your panties and tugging them aside. You felt the warmth of his familiar skin pressing against your slit, and your surprised eyes fluttered shut, body heating to a boiling point. “Showing yourself off to all those guys back there. Making them want you, liking when they touch you, doing it in front of me.” You whimpered as he dragged the head of his cock back and forth over your slick folds, teasing you cruelly. “Such a little slut, bunny. I thought you were mine.”
You groaned as he suddenly sunk into your pulsing heat, face twisting against the tile, now warm from your body heat. Clark usually spent as long as he could, stretching you on his fingers, tyring to draw orgasms out of you with his tongue before fucking you, because he never could last very long. He could go a few rounds with all that alien stamina, but he just couldn’t hold himself back, and he wanted you to last as long as possible to make up for his prematurity. It seemed you just made it too hard to pace himself. But he did not show you that care this time. He jammed himself deep, deep enough you wondered if he was prodding your small intestine as he knocked you into the wall.
“Ah! Clark,” you mewled.
“This is what you wanted, yeah? Wanted me to get rough? Wanted me to throw you around, take what I wanted? You’ve wanted it, baby, but I never gave it to you. You’re always such a good girl. But look at you now, bunny. Throwing yourself at people just to get what you want,” he grunted, hips pistoning behind you, bones bucking into the curve of your ass. His hands slipped under your dress, palms pressing the plush pudge of your tummy, pressing down over your womb, over where he was. “Didn’t know you had it in you…”
You drooled against the tile, moaning helplessly, nails clawing behind you to try and feel him there, to make a connection. But he wasn’t making love to you– he was drilling you, like you’d asked. He was just choosing the time and place to award you with your wish. He harshly took your wrists and pinned them behind your back, using it as equal leverage to keep you up against the wall. He let out a guttural gnarl beside your ear, feeling the way you clenched around him, practically gushing.
“God, if I knew you liked it like this, I never would’ve been so gentle. Fuck, bunny…”
You had never felt anything like this in your life. The almost rancid sweetness of liquor burning in your throat, coating the tile with your breath’s condensation. The force of his rippling muscle kept you trapped, using you hungrily, wanting you desperately, needing the warmth of your body to pay for your unintentional crime. You just moaned and moaned, fingers flexing under his grip, nails every now and then catching the soft flesh of his belly button when he thrusted deep, leaving moons behind. He could be as rough as he wanted, but he was still yours. He knew that even in the midst of the high coursing through his veins.
Deep, deep down, Clark knew he should take the ring off. There was a tiny percentage of his consciousness that could fight off the power of the poisonous ruby around his ring finger and apologize for manhandling you, for calling you such a dirty name, for punishing you in this dirty place. He wanted to pull out of you and turn you around, kiss you softer, promise he would never hurt you. But he wasn’t hurting you– not for real. Any inkling of pain under his hands was converted to pleasure on your skin. Your heat swallowed his cock like a sword’s sheath, your eyes rolled around in their sockets as if in a dream, and his name spilled from your lips, smelling like sugar. The sober piece of him had never seen you so turned on, and it was that part, the dutiful part, that allowed the red kryptonite to propel him forward. Hard enough, hand against the wall, that he cracked the tile. Your eyes widened for a moment, in awe of the strength, before fluttering again as his force lurched your insides.
Clark took his big palm and pressed your womb harder, and the other dropped their hold on your wrists to press your cheek against the wall, halfway to squeezing you like a grape. The tresses of your hair wrapped around his forceful fingers as he drove harder, never warning you that he was going to spill over, not allowing you the courtesy of a warning. You would know when the mess painted the inside of your thighs, and you would drool and beg for more. He saw you staring at the silhouette of your movements in the mirror, a little exhibitionist under his reign. He’d give you a show.
“Clarkieee!”
He watched your face twist, your throat tighten, your nails scraping against the tile for purchase. Your heat twitched and fluttered, constricting around him, and the shudder which ripped through your body sucked the feeling right out of him. He growled into your shoulder blades, bucking uncontrollably as thick ropes of warmth whitewashed you, bubbling and settling like a familiar blanket. You whimpered and trembled against the wall, legs weak, overstimulation ruling your flesh.
His blood thrummed loud in his ears, and he felt the urge to keep thrusting, to make you take him again, but he wanted to look in your eyes this time. He wanted to watch you beg for more. So he made no effort to save your legs the shock of hitting the ground again, sliding out of you. He pulled his hand from the base of your cranium, but the strands had entangled him. He grumbled softly as he tugged it free, but there was a problem.
One stubborn strand, and it all rushed away.
One stubborn strand, hooked under the ring, slipped it over his knuckle and off. It hit the porcelain floor loudly, clinking, hitting a corner of the stone on bad luck and shattering it. The heat in his body drained fast, and instant color flooded his face. Shame, embarrassment, regret, all in one wave.
Clark rushed to lift you back up, still hard but softening by the second. You looked like a wreck. Your face was beet red from being pressed to the wall, and your legs shook like a baby calf’s. Your hair stuck to your wet mouth, eyes blissfully unfocused. God, you were completely out of it, and he’d taken advantage of you when you were like that…
“Oh my god, oh my god… baby, bunny, are you alright?”
You blinked lethargically, feeling his cradling you against his chest. You heard the stuffing of cotton, the clicking of metal fasteners. You felt something warm and tight covering you again. You pressed sloppy kisses to his jaw. “M’fine… so good…”
Clark’s breath came short and tears pricked his eyes. He held you against him like a ragdoll, hugging you, smoothing your hair back, trying to gauge your level of intoxication. “Oh, honey, my bunny, I’m so sorry… I was so rough with you, sweetheart, did I hurt you?”
“Nooo,”
“Are you sure?” He lamented, fussing over your dress. There were purple spots on your thighs, around your wrists.
“M’fiiine!” You whined, wriggling.
“We’re going home,” he whispered.
“No–”
“Baby, we’re going home.”
A ghost of that forceful past Clark shut you up and you grinned. He only frowned.
He made sure your dress covered your hips and thighs before slipping out of the bathroom. He shoved his way through the crowd and haggled the coat check girl for your jacket, and when he climbed the stairs to the street, you were resting your pounding head on his chest and gazing up at him like a stupid little thing. There was still the imprinted pattern of fingertips on your cheek. He had never felt worse about anything.
Clark whisked you back to the farm, the cold wind against your hot skin welcome. It was only seconds aloft, and your stomach leapt when he landed gently in his bedroom, the curtains fluttering. You whined as he set you on the bed and hurried to the bathroom. He wet a washcloth and brought it back, and he gently wiped down your arms and legs and face, so concerned about the germs and grime he must have rubbed you into. You shivered at the water.
“Said m’fiiine.”
“You are not fine. I could’ve seriously hurt you.”
“You jus’ got rough… felt so good… c’mere, d’it again…”
His heart seemed to simultaneously flutter and sink at how your hand reached for him, ruffling his hair. He crawled over you and traced the shape of your nose, frowning deeply. He would have to tell you about the red kryptonite, about what it did to him. All this time, he had hoped to keep you safe by hiding it, but he could’ve broken your cheekbone, cracked your hip, anything. That was the complete opposite of the intention.
“Bunny?”
“Mm?”
Your pupils were so wide, so trusting, and so drunk. You didn’t seem to be listening at all. You offered him a slow grin, your lipstick all smudged, and he just didn’t have the heart.
“You need to sleep those drinks off.”
“Noo,” you pouted.
“I’m going to get you some water.”
“Don’t!” you whined, and you grabbed at him in frustration. “Jus’ want you one more time… please, Clarkie…”
He’d had you drunk, but not like this. You were begging. You didn’t know how sensitive you were. He lifted your dress a bit to peek, and he knew he couldn’t. You were all puffy, too used, it would probably only make you cry. If you weren’t so drunk, he might have, but now he couldn’t manage it.
“No, baby. You need to sleep.”
“Don’ you want me?” You frowned deeply, lost eyes shining.
Clark sighed softly, brushing your sweaty hair away from your eyes. “Of course I do, bunny. I’m just going to give you a break, okay? If you nap, I’ll wake you up and we can go again. Okay, honey? Can you do that for me?”
The prospect of more sex seemed to work, and he huffed with relief as you carelessly rolled over, hair spilling across his pillow. You were too inebriated to know he was lying. He would lie there and watch you knock yourself out, and he would chew his lip until the morning when he would tell you about the kryptonite, and hope to God he wasn’t so rough that you couldn't forgive him.
——͙͘͡★——
In the morning, you awoke only to lurch over the side of the bed. There was a trash can there, credit to your loving boyfriend, which caught your sick. You slumped there, eyes sticky and body sore, and you groaned weakly.
Clark appeared instantly in the doorway, dirt smudged above his brow and white tee dinged from farm work. He must have been bailing hay. He only did that when he was upset, so he could toss something painless around. The sun was high– you knew because it seemed to burn your hungover eyes– and you heaved a bit, pale in the cheeks.
“Oh, honey,’ he cooed softly, helping you sit up, putting the can in your lap. He gathered your hair back and handed you a glass of water, something he’d left on the nightstand.
“God, how much did I drink?” you complained, rubbing your temples.
“Six margaritas,” he mumbled, taking the can back when your constitution seemed stable enough. “Should’ve stopped you at lucky three.”
You sighed sleepily and worked consciously to stay upright on the bed, closing your eyes. Flashes of the night came back– the coat checker, your panties down in a bathroom, the vision of Clark pinning you like a butterfly in a box– and you flushed profusely. Clark panicked and lifted the trash can again, worried the color indicated another wave of nausea; you only chuckled hoarsely and nudged it away. “No, no… m’okay.”
Clark gazed at you like a scolded puppy, and he kissed your cheek. He scooted closer, close enough to hug you, and you chuckled again. “What is it?”
“I’m so sorry, baby.”
“Why? What happened?” you furrowed your brow, stroking his hair. He smelled like hay.
“I… it…”
You watched him peel away from you as if he was disgusted with himself. You saw his hands wringing, his eyes avoiding yours, and you reached out to cup his cheek. “Hey…”
“Last night,” he murmured, words low with guilt. “The way I behaved, it… it wasn’t me.”
“You’re telling me,” you smirked a bit sheepishly.
“No- no, bunny, it’s not funny. I could’ve seriously injured you. Are you in pain anywhere?” His hands came up to turn your jaw, inspecting the berry shades of his hand on your cheeks, the shadow of his rough touch along your wrists.
You laughed softly as he began to prod you. “No! No, I’m fine. Clark, baby, you look sicker than me… just tell me what’s up.”
He ran a hand over his face. “I haven’t been honest with you.”
You felt his soberness as you replied, “Okay.”
A moment passed before he continued. “That… that old class ring you put on me?”
“The red one?”
“It was a kind of kryptonite,” he admitted, peering at you with fear. It was only then that you noticed his bottom lip was a raw pink. “It… it was red kryptonite. I haven’t come in contact with it in years.”
You blinked slowly. Kryptonite… your brain was sluggish, so it took you a moment. Oh, the green stuff. “Right… um, so… so what about it?”
Clark sighed softly, “Well, the green stuff makes me sick, and the red stuff… it’s hard to explain. It’s like it releases all my inhibitions. It makes me crazy, like I’m high on drugs. I used the ring a lot when I was younger, when things were bad… I got into serious trouble, I robbed people, I hurt them. It– it makes me act on impulse, do things I’d never normally do. It makes me… rough. Mean. Taking what I want, when I want it, not caring how.”
You stared at him for a moment, trying to process it. So he wasn’t entirely himself. He was high when he took you out, swept you off your feet, screwed you in a place you would have never imagined being with him in. That was that look in his eye– a force beyond him. And you liked it. Fed into it. For a second, you wondered if there was a part of him last night that felt afraid of himself, and it made you want to puke all over again. You felt horrible.
“So… you didn’t want to be doing anything we did?”
“No, no, that’s not it. I did. I did want to take you out, to- to sleep with you… it’s just– my anger, it flies off the handle when I’m on red K. My behavior is irrational, I don’t think before I act. And I was so careless, honey. Anybody could’ve seen us. I locked you in that bathroom like an animal, and look at you, love, you’re all bruised–”
“But I’m okay! I’m really okay.”
Clark glanced at you with the softness you had undoubtedly missed in his fervor last night. “Are you sure?”
“Yes, baby,” you sighed, scooting closer to smooth the skin between his concerned eyebrows. “You were a little wild, but you didn’t hurt me. I feel fine. And… I mean, I can't remember much, but I clearly liked it, from what I do remember…”
Clark flushed beet red, and he ducked his head to your shoulder. “I feel horrible. I should’ve told you about the kryptonite.”
“I can see why you didn’t,” you assured him, “it’s embarrassing for you, I get it. It was an accident, I would've never put that ring on you if I knew.”
“This is not your fault. It’s entirely mine. God, I think I should take you to the doctor–”
You laughed softly and brushed his fretting palm away. “I swear, Clark, I’m fine.”
“I just didn’t want you to worry. That’s why I didn’t tell you. You worry enough looking for the regular kind. But there’s so much more, so many types of kryptonite out there… red, gold, blue, black–”
“Wait, what?”
Clark winced with regret. “There’s just other kinds, they all have different effects.”
If you weren’t so hungover, you might be mad. But your head throbbed and he was just… too sweet to be angry with.
“Oh, Clark…”
He rubbed his eyes so the pricking would slow. “I feel so guilty.”
“You couldn't help it, Clarkie,” you cooed, tugging his lip free from its sharp prison. “And even if you could, it’s okay. You didn’t hurt me. You were rough, but I liked it. I’ll say it until you believe me.”
“Are you sure?” he repeated himself.
“So sure,” you promised, kissing his shoulder. “I like when I see new sides of you. They make the regular you that much more beautiful to me.”
Clark felt like melting at your feet. He drew you into his arms, barely squeezing, back to cradling you like porcelain. He’d get over it in a few hours. He always revisited the initial fear of his strength when he got out of line– it was what made him a worthwhile hero.
“You know, it was actually really hot,” you mumbled into his chest.
Clark allowed himself to chuckle. “Yeah, well, I was high and you were drunk. I think we would’ve enjoyed anything.”
You grinned and tipped your head back. “Is there, like, super-weed we can smoke or something to get you like that again?”
Clark didn’t have to allow a laugh this time– it came freely. “I think you need to eat some breakfast before you make any rash decisions, bunny.”
“Kidding, kidding…”
Clark grinned and hoisted you off the bed, happy to carry you downstairs and pamper you after a night full of surprises. “No you’re not.”
“Hey– I didn’t get my morning kiss.”
Clark smirked at you as you wrapped your legs around his hips. “I’ll cut you a deal. If you brush your puke teeth, I’ll kiss you, and then I’ll see just how I can make last night up to you, yeah?”
You saw his eyes flicker. For a moment, you could’ve sworn they had glowed red. Or maybe it was just his fire coming back in a small dose, just for you. There was no vice in the world that could make you or him forget just how much you liked each other as you were in that bathroom; and there was a large part of you that was curious about trying it again. Just maybe without the uncontrollable parts.
“Put me down,” you brushed your nose against his cheek. When Clark quirked a playful brow, your stomach flipped. A glimpse of a man who could punish, if need be. “...Please.”
And with a knowing smile, he whispered, “Good bunny."
Summary: In The Pitt, an ER admin worker becomes the only person unafraid to banter with the intimidating Dr. Jack Abbot. While the residents fear him, the reader treats him like a normal person — forcing him to eat, teasing him constantly, and becoming the quiet place he keeps returning to after brutal shifts.
Wc: 1.4k
Gender neutral, fluff, angst
⊹˚₊‧───────────‧₊˚⊹
The emergency department never really slept.
It only changed moods.
At three in the morning, the bright fluorescent lights of The Pitt’s ER took on a strange, exhausted haze — quieter than daytime chaos but somehow more unhinged. The waiting room television murmured lowly to itself. Someone was crying behind curtain seven. A monitor shrieked briefly before being silenced.
And at the admin desk, you were fighting for your life against the printer jam from hell.
“You hit it yet?”
Without looking up, you answered flatly, “Three times.”
“Try four.”
You finally looked over.
Dr. Jack Abbot stood on the opposite side of the desk with two residents trailing behind him like nervous ducklings. His scrub cap was shoved into one pocket, dark curls flattened from hours of wear. He looked exhausted enough to legally qualify as deceased.
“You know,” you said, “I usually charge for IT support.”
One resident looked horrified.
Jack looked vaguely amused.
“That explains why hospital administration never answers my emails.”
“That explains why nobody likes you.”
The younger resident made a tiny choking sound.
You ignored him and slammed the side of the printer again. It whirred violently back to life.
“There,” you announced. “Fixed.”
Jack stared at the machine.
“You literally assaulted it.”
“And yet unlike you, it responded well to constructive criticism.”
The resident beside him physically turned away to hide a smile.
Jack sighed through his nose, but you caught it — the smallest twitch at the corner of his mouth.
Progress.
“You’re enjoying this,” he said.
“Oh, deeply.”
“Good to know my suffering improves morale.”
“You being miserable is the closest thing this floor has to entertainment.”
One of the med students nearby dropped a clipboard.
Everyone looked at him.
“Sorry,” he squeaked.
Jack rubbed a hand down his face. “Can I get the trauma intake forms?”
“Can you say please?”
“No.”
“Then no.”
The silence that followed was catastrophic.
A nurse walking past slowed down.
The med student looked ready to witness your execution.
Jack stared at you for a long moment, visibly calculating whether homicide paperwork was worth the effort.
Then:
“…Please.”
You grinned triumphantly and handed him the forms.
⊹˚₊‧───────────‧₊˚⊹
The thing nobody understood about Jack Abbot was that he wasn’t actually intimidating all the time.
Only most of the time.
Yes, he barked orders during traumas. Yes, he could reduce residents to ash with one disappointed look. Yes, med students visibly scattered when he walked too fast down the hallway.
But underneath all that, there was just a man held together by caffeine, adrenaline, and spite.
You figured that out months ago.
Probably because you were one of the only people in the department who didn’t need anything from him.
You weren’t trying to impress him.
You weren’t terrified of him.
And unlike everyone else on the floor, your job did not depend on surviving his moods.
Which meant you treated him normally.
Or, as the residents called it: suicidally.
“You cannot keep calling him by his name,” one of them whispered to you later that week.
You blinked. “Why?”
“He’s an attending.”
“And?”
“And he’s—” the resident lowered her voice further, “—Dr. Abbot.”
You looked over at him across the ER.
Jack was currently arguing with radiology over the phone while drinking terrible coffee and glaring at a computer like it had insulted his family.
“He’s literally just some guy.”
The resident looked scandalized.
Unfortunately for her, Jack chose that exact moment to walk up behind you.
“Who’s just some guy?”
“You,” you answered immediately.
The resident nearly passed away on the spot.
Jack looked tired enough that he didn’t even react properly.
“Fantastic,” he deadpanned. “Years of medical training for that title.”
“I can make your badge say ‘some guy’ if you want.”
“I’d rather you fixed scheduling.”
“Let’s not ask for miracles.”
He leaned one forearm against the admin counter while you typed.
That had become another thing the staff noticed.
Hovering.
Jack Abbot hovered around your desk constantly now.
Not obviously.
Never enough to comment on.
But somehow he always ended up there between patients.
Leaning against the counter while reviewing charts.
Drinking coffee nearby.
Pretending to check emails while listening to your conversations with nurses.
Like the admin desk had become the only place in the ER where he could unclench for thirty seconds.
“You missed lunch again,” you said without looking up.
“I had trauma cases.”
“You’ve had trauma cases for nine hours.”
“That’s generally how emergency medicine works.”
You slid a granola bar across the desk.
He stared at it.
Then at you.
“You carry emergency snacks now?”
“You’re welcome.”
“You think I’m incapable of feeding myself?”
“I think if left unattended you’d dissolve into caffeine and resentment.”
A nurse snorted nearby.
Jack picked up the granola bar anyway.
Victory.
⊹˚₊‧───────────‧₊˚⊹
The bad night happened in late October.
Everyone remembered that shift afterward.
Multi-car pileup.
Three critical patients arriving simultaneously.
Not enough beds.
Not enough hands.
Not enough time.
The ER became chaos within minutes.
Phones rang endlessly.
Residents sprinted between rooms.
Blood streaked across tile floors.
Somebody yelled for respiratory.
And Jack—
Jack transformed.
Sharp.
Precise.
Terrifying.
He moved through the department like controlled destruction, issuing orders faster than anyone could process them.
“Get me another line in room four.”
“No, don’t wait on labs.”
“Page neuro again.”
“Move.”
Nobody hesitated.
Not even once.
You watched the entire thing from the admin desk while trying to keep incoming transfers organized and terrified family members from flooding the floor.
The atmosphere was brutal.
Tight.
Frantic.
One wrong move from collapse.
Then, somewhere around hour three, Jack snapped at a resident hard enough to make her eyes water.
“Think,” he barked. “I need you to think before you act.”
She swallowed hard and nodded quickly.
You saw the exact moment guilt hit him afterward.
Tiny.
Almost invisible.
But there.
By the end of the shift, everyone looked wrecked.
One patient coded.
Another crashed in CT.
A kid came in crying for his mother.
And when the adrenaline finally wore off sometime after two in the morning, the entire ER sagged under the weight of surviving it.
Jack disappeared into the staff hallway without a word.
You found him ten minutes later sitting alone on a supply room floor.
Not injured.
Not crying.
Just…empty.
His head rested against the wall, eyes closed, scrub top stained with someone else’s blood.
For a second, you considered leaving.
Then:
“You missed dinner too,” you said softly.
One eye opened.
“You tracking my meals now?”
“Somebody has to.”
“You’re annoying.”
“You say that like you don’t voluntarily stand at my desk for half your shift.”
His mouth twitched faintly.
You sat beside him on the floor.
For a while, neither of you spoke.
The muffled sounds of the ER carried through the walls — distant monitors, rolling carts, overhead pages.
Finally, Jack exhaled slowly.
“I hate nights like this.”
It was the first honest thing he’d ever said to you without sarcasm wrapped around it.
“You still saved people.”
“Not all of them.”
You looked at him then.
Really looked.
At the exhaustion carved into his face.
At the dark circles under his eyes.
At the weight he carried every single shift whether anyone noticed or not.
“You know,” you said quietly, “the residents are terrified of you.”
“That’s healthy.”
“But they also trust you.”
He didn’t answer.
“You make impossible decisions all night long,” you continued. “You hold this entire place together with caffeine and anger issues.”
“I don’t have anger issues.”
You gave him a look.
“…Severe anger issues,” he corrected.
“There it is.”
That earned a tired laugh.
You felt strangely proud of it.
Jack turned his head slightly toward you.
“You’re not scared of me at all, are you?”
“Nope.”
“Why?”
You shrugged.
“Because somebody around here has to remind you you’re human.”
Something in his expression shifted then.
The kind of look that suddenly made the tiny supply closet feel too small.
Your heartbeat stumbled embarrassingly hard.
Jack noticed.
Of course he noticed.
He was an ER doctor.
“You should go home,” he said quietly.
“Probably.”
Neither of you moved.
Then overhead paging shattered the moment.
“Dr. Abbot to trauma two. Dr. Abbot to trauma two.”
He closed his eyes briefly like the universe specifically hated him.
“Duty calls, some guy,” you murmured.
That got another laugh out of him.
Jack pushed himself to his feet, offering you a hand automatically.
You took it.
His grip was warm and steady despite the exhaustion.
For one second neither of you let go.
Then someone shouted his name again from down the hallway.
And just like that, the spell broke.
But as Jack turned to leave, he glanced back once.
“You know,” he said, “you’re the only person here who talks to me like this.”
You smiled lazily.
“Yeah. That’s why you keep coming back.”
⊹˚₊‧───────────‧₊˚⊹
An: Having glass of wine smiling stupidly while writing this. Hope you enjoyed, thanks for reading.
pairing: dr jack abbot x plus-size! santos' sister! reader
summary: pt 2 of don't ever let abbot think he's cool. the highly anticipated date <3
word count: 11 k ⚕♡
warning: SMUT-also a good amount of fluff but-SMUT. 18 + only, minors do not interact
a/n: guysss it's here!!! thank you all so much for the likes and the lovely comments and reblogs for pt 1, it means the world to me knowing y'all enjoyed it
At this rate, you would be going on your date in a robe with a towel on your head. Stubbornly, you were so sure that if you just stared at your closet for a bit longer, the answer would magically appear.
“You’re seriously overthinking this right now,” Trinity remarked from behind you. She had been lounging sideways on your bed for the last hour, silently judging. Well, not exactly silent, she’s taken to likening you to an anxious tornado bouncing back and forth between the closet and dresser, leaving destruction in your wake. If she had known you’d be panicking this much, she would have never ‘nudged’ Abbot yesterday.
“Hey, Dr Abbot, can I talk to you for a sec?” He was meandering around the nurses' station, finishing up a discussion with Shen and Walsh. She figured now would be the best time to hash it out with him before something came bursting through their doors.
Abbot always made time for his residents, even if he was dreading the topic of conversation. Trinity sure as hell didn’t appreciate the look that was passed between the three stooges, but she was on a mission now. He led them to the staff lounge, which was relatively empty since the shift change.
“Can I talk to you like you’re not my attending right now?” She was posted up against the counter, a pot of burnt coffee was still dripping behind her. Her arms were crossed like she was the PTMC bouncer, and Abbot was sure she believed herself to be the picture of intimidation.
He let out a tired sigh. It was–what–8:38, way too early in the shift to deal with this. “I’m assuming this is about your sister?”
Santos gave him an exasperated look, as if she would have pulled him aside like this for anything else. “Either you need to buck up and ask her out or leave her alone, okay. My sister doesn’t need some dinasour stringing her along–”
She was expecting her bluntness to rattle him, but he’s not one to stir easily. The dinosaur comment didn’t even phase him. “You know it’s funny that you mention it, since that’s actually what I was in the middle of before we were so rudely interrupted.” Trinity took that with a grain of salt, a whole month, and suddenly she’s the reason Abbot couldn’t get his head out of his ass. Sure.
“Then why does she think you’re not interested?”
The look on Abbot’s face was almost enough to make up for all the doubles she’s worked this past month. “She thinks I’m not–what?” He sort of reminded her of a sad puppy, or one of those weepy life insurance commercials.
God, men can be so fucking stupid, she thought. “Look, my sister, she’s weird okay,” only she’s allowed to say that about her though. “She’s never gonna think you like her unless you say it straight to her face. So be blunt, be bold, and don’t be a coward.” She should not be having to help an old man with dating advice, but this is her life now apparently.
He seemed to finally snap back to attention. “Well, since we’re speaking so freely, your conversation with her in here the other day was completely inappropriate.”
Trinity’s eyes rolled so far to the back of her head before rolling back to him. “Oh my god I’ve already gotten third degree from Robby–”
“It was inappropriate, spiteful, and cruel Trinity.” She wondered if it stung because she actually respected Abbot or if it stung because she knew it was true. She knew exactly what she wanted to say, she knew it would hurt, and she had said it anyway.
More than anything, it made her angry. “You don’t know a thing about me and my sister alright, you’ve known her for a month–”
“And I’m actively trying to get to know her better–”
Trinity would do chairs for a straight week if it meant she could get out of the conversation she started. This is what she gets for trying to play cupid. “Jesuuuus, listen, she’s bringing food by in a couple hours, make a move or stay lonely, I don’t care.” She did care, she cared about her sister. More than she could ever say. She also really cared about the hundred bucks that were on the line too.
Her hand was on the door when Abbot spoke up again. “I can’t tell if you’re giving me your ‘blessing’ or actively telling me to stay away.”
She didn’t have the time to give him the peace of mind either, lives to save and all that. “Better hurry up and figure it out then.”
Good thing Abbot’s not as big a coward as she thought. Now she’s a hundred dollars richer.
“And you’re underthinking, okay, this is my–this is my first date in a really long time. Fuck, I feel like I’m gonna have a panic attack. Is that a bad sign? Should I just cancel?” Yeah, go ahead and cancel on the insanely hot doctor, like you’ll be able to do any better. Your mind had been unnecessarily steamy and spiteful today.
You could hear her flop back on the bed. “Why don’t you just borrow something from my closet?” How the times have changed. You remembered her sneaking into your room, stealing your t-shirts and flannels. But God forbid if you asked to borrow something of hers, even though it was never clothing, most of the time it was something simple like a hair tie.
She didn’t mean it in a malicious way, but the offer still irritated you when you were already stressed enough as is. “Trinity that’s very sweet of you, but nothing in your closet would fit me.” It came out through clenched teeth as you violently swiped through the hangers.
There was a loud groan before Trinity shot off the bed and practically shoved you out of the way. “Jesus, move over.” Her fingers were quick and precise, like she knew exactly what she was looking for. “Here, wear this.” She tossed a black turtleneck and a pair of loose-fitting tweed pants over her shoulder, casual and classy, perfect. “And these,” you barely had time to catch the shoes that were being thrown at you.
“Ooo, okay yeah, yeah this is nice, thanks Trin.”
“Yup…” you thought that she would have left as soon as she was done. “You uh, you want me to do your hair?”
There was a pause where you both just looked at each other like the answer would pop into existence itself if no one spoke. After a beat, you bobbed your head up and down, not trusting yourself to answer without crying. God, when was the last time she had done that? You remember the last time you styled hers, it was for her graduation. But back when she was younger, she would beg you to play hair salon with her, every day ‘sissy can I braid your hair.’ There were always more knots than when she started, but you never complained.
She directed you to sit at the vanity in the corner and made quick work, steady, but quick. “So, uh, I was probably gonna go out for drinks with a couple of people Friday, would you wanna come with?” There wasn’t a moment of eye contact during that question, and you had to tease her for it.
You leaned your head back against her stomach so you were looking up at her. “Are you asking your big sister to hang out with youuuu?”
There was a short playful tug on the section she held in her hand as she pushed you back up. “Shut up, are you in or not?”
“Yeah, not like I’ve got anything better to do.” You shrugged your shoulders like it was no big deal, but it was, probably more than Trinity realized in that moment.
Now it was her turn to tease you. “I think you mean you didn’t have anyone better to do, but I’m sure that’ll change after tonight.” Your elbow reached back trying to catch her ribs, but she quickly side-stepped it. “You’ll let me know if there’s weird shit at his place, right? Or like a cliche kinky dungeon, I mean obviously I don’t want details but–
This time, your elbow did hit its mark. “Shut the fuck up Trinity.”
The next hour was a mess. Trinity had taken to going through each bottle of perfume you owned to determine the right one for you to use. You could have sworn you saw her pocket a tester that held her interest, but you’d let that slide tonight. She also rifled through your closet again after you got dressed, occasionally asking if she could ‘borrow’ a few pieces. It was nice to know that some things still stay the same.
Eventually, the two of you migrated to the living room. Trinity offered a shot for your nerves, but you reminded her that you were too old to be pregaming for a date. Still, you did take a sip of her tequila, which was apparently going to be her company for the night while you were gone.
Your phone buzzed on the coffee table, and even you could admit you were too eager with how fast you picked it up.
I’m downstairs, but don’t feel like you have to rush. He was early, that shouldn’t be hot to you, but it was. You were always the first one to show up for a date, always the one to have to wait.
Okay! Be down in just a sec!
Trinity looked playfully disturbed at how giddy her sister was. “Alright, he’s here. I’m gonna head out.”
She stopped you at the door, “Oh wait, here,” she reached into the pocket of her sweats and handed you a few condoms. “Swiped these from the hospital just in case. You can never trust men to have one, and if they don’t, they’re not even worth it.”
Was she just keeping those in her pocket the entire time? Probably best not to ask that question. You put your hand out to decline, but she shot you a look that told you it would be better to just take the damn condoms. “Thanks, Trin.”
You slipped them into your purse and couldn’t help but think about the possibility that you might end up using them tonight. “Hey, just–have fun, and be careful, I know nothing will–just be careful.”
It always tugged at your heartstrings when your sister became protective of you. Still, this was kind of painful to watch. You’d hug her if you were one hundred percent sure it wouldn’t break her out in hives. “I promise I’ll text you.”
“You better.”
“Love you sissy.” You dragged out the declaration, voice syrupy sweet.
She rolled her eyes and turned you around before practically kicking you out the door. “Jeez get the fuck out of here and get laid.”
You were halfway down the stairs when Trinity burst out the door, “Hey, did you forget something?” She held out the pan of lemon squares you had made yesterday. There was one missing, no doubt she grabbed it before bringing it out to you. Climbing back up the stairs, you thanked her for being a lifesaver, but she said, “Something tells me he wouldn’t have minded if you forgot about them.” You would have minded though, if you say you’re bringing dessert, you’re bringing dessert, inuendos be damned.
He was standing outside his truck, leaning against the door. A man his age should not have this much charisma; it’s just a dangerous combination. Still, you could see that his thumb tapped against his thigh near his pocket; maybe he was just as nervous as you. He was dressed in a dark blue henley and jeans that were on the lighter side. It was different from what you normally saw him in at the veterans center, but it felt like a treat seeing him out of his scrubs.
As soon as you stepped out of the door that led to the back parking lot, he was making his way towards you. His eyes unabashedly tracing over every inch of you this time, no nosy nurses around to catch him. You’re glad that Trinity had pushed you to forgo blush because you could already feel heat rising to your cheeks.
“You look gorgeous.”
“You look pretty handsome yourself…” You trailed off as he leaned in to kiss your cheek, which you were worried might have scorched his lips from the heat. He smelled so good, so many notes on top of tobacco and clove, it was mouthwatering.
Of course, you thought that he would move back after the kiss, but no, he lingered, and he–did he just sniff you? Oh fuck, “Hmm,” Jack Abbot just practically moaned into your neck, and now you feel lightheaded. “You smell good,” now he finally took a step back, oh yeah, this fucker knew exactly what he was doing; it lit a sort of fire in you.
“S-so do you.” Too bad your mouth couldn’t catch up with your brain around this man.
His barely there smile spoke volumes, no doubt he knew the effect he had on you. Like it hadn’t been completely obvious this past month. “Come on sweetheart, I promised you dinner.” His palm was pressed lightly against your back as he led you to his truck. You wanted his hand around your waist, his fingers gripping you tightly to him, but for now, you’ll take what you can get without scaring him off.
“Good to know you’re a man of your word.”
He looked down at the tray in your hand. “Could say the same about you. Guess you weren’t kidding about dessert, huh?”
“Oh, I never joke when it comes to dessert.” Jack opened the door for you, offered his hand and everything. To so many people, it would be such a small thing. Something to be expected or glossed over, but to you it’s a sort of wake-up call. Why should you have ever been expected to accept anything less when it’s so simple?
You allowed yourself a brief moment of panic in the time that he closed the door and made his way to the opposite side. Deep breath, deep breath.
“You warm enough?” The space felt so much smaller all of a sudden. Yes, ridiculously enough, and it’s not from the heat circulating in this truck. You told him that you were fine, that you tended to run hot anyway.
The fact that you almost swooned when he backed out of the parking space is just dismal. But he did the thing, you know, the thing where the guy puts his hand on the back of your headrest and backs out without a care in the world with one hand. You were certain that he intentionally flexed the arm right next to your head as well. How are you supposed to survive this night?
Your heart finally calmed down when he dropped his arm and turned left out of the parking lot. Angling your body towards him, you said, “I got so used to seeing you in scrubs, was starting to think you only existed in the ER.” He hadn’t had a chance to visit the center either, what with the hospital being short-staffed this past month.
“Yeah, there’s a whole underground basement system where they like to store us. Luckily, they let me out tonight for good behaviour.” Jack Abbot was a very safe driver; you figured most of the ER staff would be (Trinity excluded), considering the stuff they see on a daily basis. He didn’t go more than ten over the speed limit, always checked his blind spots, and not once did you hear the god-awful revving that you associated with trucks.
“Definitely not beating the night shift are vampires allegation are you?”
He chanced a quick look at you. “Promise I don’t bite.”
Your arm came up to rest on the center console, leaning in even closer. “Damn, I was really hoping you did.”
His knuckles tightened around the steering wheel, and his shoulders briefly shook with restrained laughter. “You’re trouble, you know that?”
There’s the side of you that can flirt, but it’s always been hesitant. Around Jack though, that side has never known anything but confidence. Except when he occasionally manages to short-circuit your brain. “Only the best kind, promise.” You’ve never felt this secure so early on a first date; they’ve always been awkward and stiff, but it just feels easy right now.
You were surprised to find out that he only lived ten minutes away from your apartment when he pulled into his driveway. He hadn’t mentioned anything when you texted him your address at the hospital. Makes things a bit easier, your brain supplied. His place was a beautiful, dark, two-story townhouse; you’re sure that you’ve passed by it before and admired it. Small world.
He helped you down from the truck and led you up the steps to the front door. The pressure of his palm on your back was firmer than before. One of the first things you noticed about his home was that it’s calm. It didn’t necessarily feel lived in because he was hardly ever here, but it also invited you in. It said come in and rest your head before you have to leave again, and it made you want to stay.
His hand gently grabbed the strap of your purse, and it startled you for a second before you let it fall off your arm. He hung it up on one of the available hooks and grabbed the tray out of your hand, setting it next to the bowl that held his keys. Both hands hovered above your shoulders, a silent question of may I? So you dropped your arms to let him. How was he giving you so many firsts tonight, and it hasn’t even been–what–thirty minutes? “Alright, I’ve got steaks marinating in the fridge–”
“Oh, so you do know what you’re doing.” He hung up his own coat and took off his shoes. You followed suit, and then he was leading you towards the kitchen with your dessert. It was barebones but clean, sleek and modern, fancy appliances, but nothing extra littered the counters besides a coffee pot and a container for cooking utensils. It made sense for Jack. The rest of his place had much more character. Comfort definitely took priority when it came to the furniture.
“I’ve got a beautiful lady to impress, and I have no intention of disappointing. Can I get you anything to drink?” You asked for a water, he grabbed a bottle from the fridge before pouring it into a glass for you.
“So how was your day?” That actually stumped you for a second. You were so used to asking Trinity that question, listening to the highlights for thirty minutes, or sometimes getting nothing at all and then having to wait for her to ask the same. For anyone to ask the same.
“Not bad actually, I spent most of it with Trinity, which was actually kind of fun. Even though she was being a pain in my ass for most of it.”
“So things are all right between you two?”
“Yeah, Trinity is…Trinity,” he chuckled at that. “I think it helps that we live together out here. Makes it harder for her to stay mad at me. Plus, I’ve been supplying her with a steady stream of food. It’s the best medicine after all.”
He gave a comical questioning look. “Now, I thought that was laughter?”
“I supply both in large quantities.”
The distance lessened with a step, “I believe it.”
You took a step in kind, “And how was your day Jack?”
“Well, I woke up knowing I didn’t have to work and that I had a date with an amazing woman waiting for me. First time I’ve woken up with a smile on my face in a while.”
“I like your smile,” it just slipped out without a thought.
Now you were blushing, and his grin was turning into a full-blown smile. “I like yours too. It was the first thing I noticed about you.” He'd better be careful, or you might start to believe him.
You tried to fight down the rising heat in your face by changing the subject. “So what’s on the menu tonight, Dr. Abbot?”
His shoulders stiffened, and he shook his head, “Steaks obviously since I’ve got something to prove now, and we’ve got potatoes, zucchini, and squash. Sound good to you?”
“Sounds amazing.”
“Good. I’m gonna step outside real quick and get the grill started. Go ahead and make yourself at home.” He traced his hand along your waist as he scooted past you towards the sliding glass door that led to his patio.
Of course, you had to take the opportunity to look around–not snooping–just assessing. Apparently, Jack wasn’t the type to hang pictures or art on the wall. Instead, he liked to keep his memories on bookshelves. There was a burial flag shadow box with a few small framed photos beside it and a dusty shot glass. Dozens of medical journals and textbooks with multicolored tabs sticking out of them.
Eventually, you stopped at a photo of a younger Jack, and who you can only assume was his wife if the short wedding dress was anything to go by. They were in front of a courthouse, Jack had his arms wrapped around her waist as they smiled at the camera, petals falling from her bouquet. She looked like someone who could have been the people's princess, just a classic elegance. Nothing like you, your brain hissed at you.
Your disparaging thoughts screeched to a halt at the sound of the door sliding open again. Jack looked up and saw which bookcase you were standing in front of. You pointed at the photo in front of you, desperate to fill the silence right now. “Was this Lilly?”
“Yeah…” Jack had told you the bare minimum of his history with her. Actually, he only told you that he was widowed; you had to be the one to ask him her name. You figured if he wanted to tell you more about her than he would.
He looked far away, and you regretted ever opening your mouth. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to–
Jack was quick to cut off your apology. “No, no sorry, you weren’t–I didn’t even think about the pictures.”
“Jack, please don’t apologize for having pictures of someone you love up in your home.”
His eyes darted between the different pictures of them on the shelf. One of them where they were together at a graduation of Jack’s, another of them in front of beautiful mountains that they had just finished hiking. “I just…I don’t talk about her much anymore, at least not to anyone other than my therapist.”
How do you tell him that you’re here, that you want to know everything about someone who was so important to him? That it doesn’t hurt you that he loved only that he lost. “I would love to learn more if you ever want to talk about her.”
“I’m not sure how to sometimes.” That you understood all too well.
Your arms crossed across your middle, a bit of comfort offered to yourself. “My lola, she passed away a couple of years after Trinity was born. She practically raised me, but I just felt like I couldn’t talk about her after she died. I felt like I would start crying and never be able to stop. But you know, Trinity was a baby, and eventually she had questions, so I just started telling her stories, and eventually–it stopped hurting. I think it’s because someone else was able to know her like I did, like I wasn’t carrying her memory alone anymore.” You knew that you were trying to make him feel better, but you also knew that it wasn’t the same, and you wanted to apologize for even trying to compare before you looked over at him.
There was a hint of red in his eyes. “That’s–that’s really beautiful.” He shut his eyes tightly, slightly turning away from you, pinching the bridge of his nose like it would keep him from crying. “Sorry, not how I was expecting the night to go.”
You lightly nudged him. “Really? I was expecting us to unveil every bit of trauma to each other. Now I’m just disappointed.” That made him laugh, it was a bit choked back, but you count it as a win.
He nudged you back, but the touch lingered. “Can we at least save that for the second date?”
“Well, if you’re promising a second date, then I can work with that.” You’re glad that you can tease him like this. That a heavy moment can be just that, a moment.
“I can go ahead and promise you a third one while we’re at it if you like.” He offered while leading you towards the kitchen and taking out a cutting board from a cabinet along the way.
“Woah buddy, now you’re just getting ahead of yourself,” you teased, leaning against the counter.
He was quick and efficient in the kitchen, very entertaining to watch as he would dart from the fridge to the sink until he’d be back in front of you. “Right, should probably finish our first date anyway, it’s just good manners.”
You nodded your head in agreement. “Exactly, also I’m not used to being idle in the kitchen, so you need to let me help out.”
“And if I told you to sit down and relax?” He was already halfway through slicing a zucchini.
“Never gonna happen.” As if he knew what it was to actually relax anyway.
He laughed under his breath, relented, and asked you to grab the green onion out of the fridge for him. You walked behind him, hand casually dragging along his upper back, it thrilled you to watch him practically freeze in place. Only resuming his action when your hand fell away to open the door.
“You trying to send me back to work for stitches?” The night shift would have a field day with that, you’re sure.
The green onions were rinsed off before being placed next to him. You settled in beside him, hip resting against the counter. “Thought you knew how to handle a knife.”
He set aside the sliced zucchini and squash into a bowl before seasoning the vegetables. “Knife and a scalpel are two very different things sweetheart.”
“Noooo, and here I was thinking they were the same.”
His hands gripped the counter, leaning into you, voice husky and low. “You’re a bit of a smartass, you know that?”
“You work with my sister, is that really so surprising?”
It took about thirty minutes for everything to be finished and for the table to be set. You had followed him outside to watch him grill the steaks. He looked like he was in his element, beer in hand, his only concern making sure nothing was overcooked. He joked that your ‘supervising’ felt a lot like hovering, and you playfully threatened to go back inside. There would be none of that since he took a page out of your book earlier and dragged his hand along your back, landing on your hip, pulling you impossibly close to him, a not-so-subtle kiss against the top of your head. Jack claimed you could supervise a lot better from there, but you were actually disappointed when the steaks were done.
The man wasn’t lying when he said he could cook; it just might have been the best thing someone had ever made for you since you were a kid. Of course, you were a bit biased since he had been the one to make it. Soaking up every bit of praise you threw his way but still claiming it had nothing on your cooking. You did, however, fail to notice the way his hand clenched against his thigh when he heard you moan at the first bite. The slight flush on his face didn’t hide where his thoughts had gone though.
You traded stories, and some vulnerable part of you was worried that you’d bore him. Jack was someone who saw the impossible on a daily basis. How could your story of Trinity’s dumb friend shooting fireworks from the top of a tree and nearly breaking every bone on the way down compare? But he didn’t judge or dismiss; he laughed, and oh, his laugh was something else. It made you want to hear it again and again. He countered with a firework story of his own, non-ER related. He told you about the time he and a few of his high school friends were shooting fireworks over the house, and one landed perfectly in a beer can on the opposite side. They were young and ecstatic and knew that no one would ever believe them, but you told him that you would if it would make him feel better.
There were moments where you held back a tale. Mostly the ones involving your sister, considering she would murder you if she ever found out you told her attending something he could use for ammunition later. He teasingly egged you on for more stories, said he’d promise to keep it a secret. You told him that he was really trying to get you banned from the hospital. Jack assured you that the ban would be lifted if you were coming to visit him.
After dinner, you were leaning towards each other on his couch, knees brushing and faces flushed from smooth conversation.
“Okay, can I ask you something?” Jack was reclined against the couch, his temple resting against his closed fist, arm bent along the back. “If it’s too much, you can tell me to fuck off.”
He shook his head, “Well one, I would never tell you that, and two, you can ask me anything.”
“Have you done much dating since Lilly?”
There was a deep inhale from him. You worried you might have overstepped, but he quickly replied, “No, it was never–it wasn’t something I would have even considered the first couple of years. I was in a bad way, threw myself into work just so I wouldn’t have to go home. Eventually, I switched therapists and actually committed to it, and things got…better. I don’t want to lie to you, I am very much still a work in progress.”
Jack had been through a lot, most of which you’ve only started to scratch the surface of. He never told you about his leg, not that you expected him to. One day, you were both in the break room sharing the meal you had brought. It was a surprisingly slow night, though neither of you commented on it, and you had just finished reviewing program forms. There was no fanfare about it; he just lifted his pant leg and removed the prosthetic so he could massage the area, and that was that. It didn’t surprise you; it was a common sight at the veterans center, but it did make you admire him even more.
You shrugged your shoulders, “That’s okay, my therapist would say the same about me. I think that’s just called living, but you know I don’t have the fancy degree to prove it.”
He playfully waved it off. “Eh, mine came out of a Cracker Jack box, what do I know?”
His joke caused you to let out a deep laugh. “My grandma used to say that’s where everyone got their driver's license.”
He was laughing too now, much more subdued than yours had been, but no less warm. “Smart woman…now can I ask you a question?”
“Yeah, of course, pretty sure that’s how conversations go.”
“Smartass…so Meals on Wheels. Did you always want to do something in that ballpark?”
“No,” his brow raised questioningly at the quick response. “I actually used to be in school for nursing, if you can believe it.” He was quick to say that he could, which felt like a compliment coming from him. “Yeah, it was uh–not my calling apparently. I was really struggling in all my classes, anatomy especially,” you giggled at the grimace he gave. “Uh, but then mom passed away, so I had to drop out and take care of Trinity, which actually felt like a bit of a relief in this really horrible way. So then it was just me and Trin and I was working two jobs, one with Meals, and I kind of ended up growing with them. It’s just–it was really nice to do some good when everything else was a lot, so I wanted to keep doing that.”
“You’re an incredible woman.” He didn’t say those words lightly, he said them like fact, like nothing could disprove it. You tried to brush it off, head turning away from him to fight the rising emotions. “I mean that…” in no world would he have you doubt him. It just made your eyes well up even more, and Jack saw that you weren’t just playfully brushing him off. “Hey, hey, I’m sorry.”
“No–no, you did nothing wrong, no one's ever–it was just really sweet, that’s all.” Jesus, get a fucking grip. Are you seriously crying over a compliment? The spiral stopped in its tracks as his hand reached up, gently holding your cheek, thumb catching a stray tear. He leaned forward, and for a terrifying moment, you were worried he was going to kiss you. You had been dying for him to kiss you all night, all month actually, but gosh, not like this. Jack surprised you once more; it was a kiss, but on your opposite cheek. It was beautiful and soft and grounding. He placed two more in quick succession before leaning back and dropping his hand to rest on your knee.
His smile could easily become a comfort. “I have a lot more compliments to give, please tell me you’re not gonna cry at them all.” Honestly, you weren’t sure you’d survive his praise, not when he made you believe in impossible things.
You playfully swatted at his chest but leaned in closer still. “I’m terrible with compliments.”
His thumb circled your knee, tracing as much of the area as he could with where his hand was placed. “That’s alright, just means I’ll have to get you used to them.”
“Something tells me that you have a hard time accepting them too.” Your hand landed next to his arm, just a graze of your fingertips.
“Well, we’re not talking about me now.”
You wondered what it would take to get him flustered. “Hmm, so what if I told you that I find you extraordinary? That every time you would get pulled away from our conversations, you somehow got even sexier, no matter how disappointed I was.” You could feel gooseflesh along his forearm that you had been idly tracing. He was turning so red. “Jack Abbot, are you blushing?”
He cleared his throat and stood up, “Think those lemon squares are calling my name.”
You were in a fit of laughter on the couch as you watched him devour one in two bites. “Oh, well let me know how they are then.” Part of you was worried he might choke on the dessert.
“Fucking menace,” he mumbled through the mouthful. You asked him if they were good, his only response was, “Delicious.”
It was getting lonely on the couch now. “I promise I won’t tease you if you come back.”
He brushed away any leftover crumbs before settling in next to you again, much closer than before. “Uh-huh, I highly doubt that.” His hand came up, brushed away a flyaway from your temple, and then his touch stayed there. A steady movement while his eyes traced over every inch of your face, he wanted this image of you printed and hung up in his mind. The way you looked right now, cheeks flushed, relaxed on his couch, in his home. You’re so beautiful to him.
“You gonna kiss me Jack?”
“Only if you’ll let me–” you couldn’t wait any longer. There was zero shame in the way you threw yourself at him. The fabric of his shirt clenched in your fist to drag him closer. Your lips collided together, and it felt–quiet–like your brain could finally shut away every insecurity and doubt in this moment as long as you could still feel his lips against yours.
Sugar and lemon had never tasted so sweet.
He wasted no time in planting his hands on your waist; they were desperate in the way they traced along your curves like he was finally getting his fill. Fingers guided a path up your spine until they found the back of your head
His other hand drifted up to cup your cheek, thumb softly pressing against your jaw to open you up for him. His tongue tracing your lips before meeting your own. “I wanted to do that the second you walked out of your apartment.”
Your laugh was breathless and a little high-pitched. “Honestly, I would have let you…”
He nuzzled into your cheek, pressing a multitude of kisses there and against the space below your ear, nipping at the soft curve of your jaw. “Well, I was determined to treat you right, would’ve never left that parking lot otherwise.” It felt vitalizing, knowing that this man wanted you, even if it was just want for now. Now he gripped the collar of your turtleneck, stretching it down so he could get his lips on you there too.
The feeling of him pulling the sensitive skin of your neck between his lips, his teeth, it had you curling your fingers in his hair, pulling him even closer. You raised yourself up, knees digging into the couch, leaning over him, above him. A tug at his curls had him pulling away from his task, hooded eyes gazing up at you, making him ask what was wrong. “Just know that if you leave a hickey, I’m leaving one right back. And I will not be subtle about where it goes.” You knew exactly where you would put it too. Right where his neck meets his shoulder, that way it could peek out from his collar every time the muscles tensed.
His smirk was satisfied and lazy, leaning forward, short, quick pecks against your lips. “Noted.” He kept creeping forward until you found yourself falling backwards onto the cushion behind you, but he slowed the descent. Then he was the one above you, and the whole thing just made you giggle. Jack brushed his nose against yours, your smile kissing his lips. “You’re so beautiful,” you felt like it in this moment, not even a hint of desire to argue.
You don’t know how much time passed while he kissed you. And that was all he did, which, to be fair, he’s very good at it. But he didn’t try to push anything further; it made you feel like a wild animal with the way you were clawing at his back, his sides, his stomach. Anywhere you could reach, just to get a hint of the warmth he’s hiding from you.
“I uh–I brought condoms, I mean technically Trinity brought them from the hospital–” God, you were rambling, why the hell would you bring up your sister right now?
He lifted his head away from your neck, “Wait…Trinity gave you stolen condoms from the hospital?”
“Is it technically stealing if they’re free?”
“Technically they’re for patients.” Jack briefly slipped into teacher mode, you’ve had the privilege of seeing that switch multiple times over the last month.
You tried to brush off the potential theft by bringing him closer, “Okay then, please ignore everything I just said.” You doubt your sister would be in trouble for swiping condoms, but it’s kind of funny considering her choice of partner.
He looked affronted, “Frankly, I’m just disappointed you didn’t think I’d have better ones.”
“That’s what you’re focused on?” It felt nice to be able to laugh with someone like this, even in intimate moments.
He nuzzled into your neck, softly biting down on every inch of skin he could reach. “You should know I’d never make you buy them, it’s not your job. But I do admire you for being prepared.” All you wanted to focus on was the promise of future meetings like this, but he found a particularly sensitive spot that made you sigh beneath him. His smile extended across your neck before whispering in your ear, “And uh, just to be clear, we’re not having sex tonight sweetheart.”
“Oh..” you’d never felt your body sour with disappointment so quickly before.
“But I would very much like to take care of you if you’ll let me.” He responded before that disappointment could fester, before it settled on your features and made your brain come up with a thousand questions. None of your previous partners had ever wanted to work up to something, they never even bothered to just talk about it.
“Oh…” God if that didn’t make you want him even more now.
There was a need to put distance, not too much of course, but just enough to stress that he was serious. “I need you to know that this–this isn’t all I want from you. I want to know you, and I want you to know me. Fuck, I haven’t wanted that in a long time.”
“I want that too Jack.” His lips were quick to find yours again, messy and desperate, knowing neither of you were going anywhere for a good while. “So when you say ‘take care of me’...”
You could feel the vibration of his laughter as you led him with the question. “I mean, I’d like to make you come,” he pressed a kiss to the corner of your mouth, “with my fingers,” the other side, “my mouth,” your lips, “only if you’d like that as well?”
Your head was bobbing up and down before he could even finish. Both of you laughing before coming together again for a quick kiss. “I’d like that a lot actually.”
His hands were bolder now, tracing along your waist until they settled against your back. It’s like his hand had found a perfect resting place there. “Can I take this off?” He asked, tugging at the material of your shirt.
A tug against his, “Only if you’re taking yours off too.” He chuckled, and you could hear him say ‘fair enough’ under his breath. He leaned back and gathered the material of his henley behind his neck before practically ripping it off and throwing it behind him.
This man and his freckles should never be allowed to be covered by scrubs again; it’s a crime. “Jesus…” he looked at you questioningly before glancing down at his chest like there was something he wasn’t seeing. “You’re ridiculously fit Jack, how do you even find the time?”
He gave a small shrug of his shoulders that felt more like a personal show than anything. “It’s all about balance sweetheart.” The word balance was spoken like a new-age yoga instructor.
“Balance my ass.”
Lips brushed against your forehead since he was too busy laughing at the way you were ogling him. “Your turn, arms up.” Fuck, okay, here goes nothing, you thought, lifting your arms up as he instructed. He didn’t take it off all at once though, there were stages. The pants you wore sat high on your waist, so every time he lifted the shirt higher, he would explore the exposed skin of your stomach until it reached the lace of the black bralette you wore. This continued until the material was bunched above your breasts and didn’t fall back down on its own. Jack was a very patient man; you figured he had to be in his line of work, but now you were reaping the benefits of the years it took to build.
It turned you on even more to see him take the time to fold your shirt and place it on the coffee table instead of chucking it to the side like he did his own. When he turned back, he took a moment to just look at you. You knew he was admiring you, could feel it, but fuck, you needed him to say something because you were about two seconds away from covering yourself with the blanket along the couch.
“Fuck you’re gorgeous sweetheart.” His palm rested against your stomach, right above the button of your pants. You thought that’s where his fingers would be heading next, but instead they travelled upwards between your breasts, resting at the base of your throat. You knew he wouldn’t curl those fingers higher, not without your permission. He tilted your chin up, lips meeting yours in a soft, almost thankful kiss. It was like he was trying to make you cry again.
Your hands hadn’t moved away from his forearms, and you couldn’t understand why you were so hesitant to move them up. Especially when you had been thinking about getting your hands on him for a month now. As if he could sense your struggle, he said, “You can touch me baby, not like you ever had to find an excuse to before.”
“And what’s that supposed to mean?”
“Don’t act like you’re so innocent, always reaching out whenever you brush past me, excuse me Jack,” his voice was teasingly pitched up to mimic yours. You couldn’t help but laugh, still you tried to say he was wrong. “Or when I’d help you carry something, you’re so sweet Jack, making me lose my damn mind.”
You shook your head at his ridiculousness. “Never heard you complain.”
He inched closer until he was flush against you, the hair on his chest rubbing against lace, tickling your skin. “Now, why would I go and do something stupid like that?” There was no hesitation in your touch now, hands running along his biceps, his chest, like art that no longer had a do-not-touch sign on it. He was so warm you’d think he’d just come in from the sun, and so firm. You’d never been with someone who had such a soft strength to them. He shuddered when your nails lightly scratched along his shoulder to the back of his head. A soft choked groan told you that you might have found a weakness of his.
“And what about this?” He asked, finger lightly tracing over your nipple through the lace. You froze beneath him, it was involuntary, but your brain couldn’t help but stutter.
“Uh, leave it for now, it’s a pain to get back on.” You just needed a bit of coverage, just a bit, and you’d be fine.
He didn’t believe you, but if it made you comfortable, then that was that, “Okay, baby.” There wasn’t a moment to dwell on it, his tongue kept you occupied. His lips only left yours when you practically had to push him away for oxygen, even then, he just trailed his lips down your neck. Eager to explore the skin that had been hidden by the collar of your shirt.
“I thought you were so handsome the day I met you, I nearly dropped the food I was carrying. Wondered what I’d have to do to get these arms around me.” You don’t know what made you confess it, you just wanted him to know. He chuckled, head nuzzling into your cleavage, at least what little there was of it. You adored the way his stubble felt against your skin and wondered if it would feel just as good everywhere else.
His tongue reached out to swipe along the top of your breast. “There were so many times I saw you at the center, wanted to come up to you, knew all you had to do was say hi, and I’d be gone. Could kick myself for being such a coward.”
It was your turn to kiss his forehead, and the way he leaned into it made you smile. “That why you tried to get me a job there after knowing me all of five minutes?”
By the end of the night you were sure his smirk would be branded into your skin. “Guilty. Couldn’t help the fact that I wanted to see more of you. Still can’t help it.”
“Well, you did manage to get me for four more hours a week, actually less considering how often you get pulled away.” He nipped your skin at the reminder of his short time with you on the days that you come in for work.
“Don’t worry, I’m working on a way to sneak you into the room with me.”
You giggled at the idea. “Sure you are.” His fingers brushed the lace against the top of your breast, asking if he could tug it down, so you just did it for him. Eager to feel his fingers, too impatient to actually give him an answer. His hand was so large and warm, covering the expanse of your breast, tweaking your nipples to stiff peaks. “Wait, so does that mean you lied about not recognizing me at first?”
His lips wrapped around the taught flesh, taking his time before responding. “Oh yeah, I knew it was you the second you walked through the ambulance bay. Never would have guessed who you were related to though.”
“Yeah, let’s not bring up my sister right now. She’s already been brought up one too many times since things had gotten hot and heavy.
“Agreed.” Jack lavished the same attention on the other side, sadly leaving your skin to cool, his spit tattooing your skin.
“You can bite them, please.” It was a question, plea, and demand all in one. Your breasts weren’t really sensitive unless a bit of pressure was applied to them, and it’s like Jack knew that better than you did. He groaned against your chest, taking your nipple into his mouth with even pressure, more teeth.
The only thing you could do was card your fingers through his hair and hold him close to you. Unable to take his eyes meeting yours for a few moments at a time before it became too much, seeing the pure want in them. He was determined to leave your chest littered with his marks.
His thumb brushed against the metal button on your pants, slowly undoing them like he was still giving you the chance to change your mind. The zipper being dragged down felt almost too loud in the room, and he broke it up with short kisses to your chest, your neck, anywhere he could reach. Once your pants were opened, his hands were quick to dip beneath the fabric, but you halted them before they could move any farther down.
“Uhm, I haven’t–I don’t really shave down there…”
He shook his head in disbelief but still pressed a kiss against your temple. “Baby that doesn’t bother me one bit alright, it’s meant to be there. Only thing I want you focused on is feeling good okay?” Both of his hands reached to grip your ass over the fabric of your underwear, a low groan leaving the back of his throat as he pulled you closer. “Okay?” He waited for you to respond, a soft okay echoing his as you lifted up your hips to pull the fabric down.
Both socks were taken off by him as well, with a kiss placed on each knee before he moved back up to explore the new territory. They weren’t random kisses like you thought at first. He was tracing the pattern of your stretch marks, his nose following the lines with his lips not far behind. “M’not ashamed to admit that I got myself off dreaming about the day I’d be lucky enough to get my hands on you. Had me feeling like a horny teenager all over again.” His words were slightly muffled as they were spoken through kisses placed against your stomach.
You gently tilted his face up to look at you, “What does it mean if I thought about you then?”
He loomed over you, “Oh, you dirty fucking girl,” whispered against your lips. Your tongue darting out to catch a taste, and he offered even more. Hands tracing over your thighs, excited to have so much to explore, to hold, every curve and divot.
His palm reached down to cup your pussy over your panties, a deep ‘fuck’ moaned against your chin after your lips disconnected, head tilted back with a gasp. “You feel how wet you are for me?” All you could manage was a whimper as his touch grew firmer.
Teeth nipping at your jaw, “Talk to me baby, tell me how you play with this pretty pussy.”
The tip of his finger traced over your lips, pressing down onto your clit through the fabric. “Fuck Jack…”
Nails were digging into his shoulder. “Do you take your time? Build yourself up? Or are you desperate like me, huh? You want it to last, but you know how good it’ll feel…”
You wanted to answer, but he was making it increasingly difficult. Especially now that he was moving beneath the waistband of your underwear. “I–I never take my time, just–just figure what’s the point?”
He paused, and you cursed yourself, “What’s the point?”
Was that the wrong thing to say? “Y-yeah…”
Fuck, his fingers felt so much better like this, you thought. “Oh sweetheart, you should be taking time with yourself, should be feeling all of it. Especially if you’re thinking about me.” Clearly you weren’t as imaginative as you thought, since you would have never thought he’d be this talkative with you.
“You’re–fuck your fingers feel so good.” You nearly bucked away from him when he curled them so deeply inside you, it had you scrambling for the armrest. His smirk grew above you as he repeated the motion, forcing a whine from the back of your throat.
“Trust me, I can feel how much you like them.” Smug bastard.
There was no rush to get you off, no ridiculous slamming fingers or rough movements that you didn’t ask for. He was genuinely taking the time to understand your body, to find the right angle, the right pressure that would make you sing for him. Every sigh, moan, and whimper was another correct answer he was studying so hard for. “You getting close baby?”
“Yes, yes, please fuck, right there Jack.” The back of your head dug into the armrest, neck arching under his tongue, desperate for something that was so, so close.
His free hand reached up to hold your jaw, bringing you back to him. “Nuh-uh, don’t look away, I wanna watch you come apart on my fingers.” It was too much, he was too much, your eyes were fluttering shut again. “Keep those eyes open for me gorgeous.” You can do that, for him, you could.
He leaned back, adjusted his angle, and it had you releasing a sound you didn’t know you were capable of. “That’s it, that’s a good girl.” His fingers picked up the pace, keeping the same motion, and when his thumb brushed against your clit you held on to the arm that kept your gaze locked onto his. He kept taking you higher and higher until it felt like you were plummeting back onto the couch, back into your body. You don’t even remember what you said to him, it was so breathless and quick, an unintelligible stream of his name, curses, and begging.
The palm of his hand kept up a gentle caress along your cunt, until you were done shaking. Occasionally, his fingers would lightly dip back in to feel how wet you were after coming for him. His nose nuzzled into your cheek, short kisses trailing down to your mouth. “You alright?”
Your hand that had been gripping the back of his neck relaxed, gently massaging the tension beneath. A soft “Mhm,” was muffled against his kiss. “I didn’t think you’d be such a talker,” you said once he let you breathe again.
“Is that a bad thing?” The question made you want to roll your eyes. Obviously he knew it wasn’t, he could feel exactly what his words did to you.
Your head lazily shook back and forth, “Fuck no, not bad, not bad at all.”
“You look so beautiful when you come sweetheart.” Cheeks heating despite everything that just happened had you turning your face into his shoulder. “Uh-uh, don’t get shy on me now, we’re working on compliments, remember.”
“Oh fuck you,” you said through giggles as he licked a particularly ticklish spot on your neck.
His lips began a path down the curve of your stomach again. “Hmm, not tonight, but I’d love to eat you out if that’s on table?”
The question made you shiver, your pussy clenching down on nothing, wishing you had his fingers in you again. “Figured you’d be full by now.”
He looked up at you from where he was trying to devour the space where your thigh met your hip. “Nah, I saved plenty of room for dessert,” so you definitely weren’t imagining that double meaning yesterday. You felt a puff of air against the swollen lips of your cunt, “You gonna let me taste you now?” All you could offer was a nod since it was too difficult to think with his head between your thighs.
It shouldn’t have surprised you that he didn’t dive right in. Instead, he kissed all along your inner thigh, higher than he was able to explore before. He gave so many ignored parts of yourself affection, like it was always meant to be given. Slowly, so slowly, when he was satisfied, he licked a long stripe up your pussy, tongue curling at the end to collect everything it could. “Jesus sweetheart, you taste so fucking good,” he barely finished his sentence with a groan before practically unhinging his jaw to devour your cunt.
He had been slow and gentle with his fingers, but his tongue acted like you were a meal about to be taken from him. “Oh f-fuck Jack, that’s–you’re so…”
“So what,” he asked, releasing the suction around your clit with a wet pop. Opening you up with his thumb so that he could get a good look at you. “So what baby?”
“So good, Jack, you’re so good.” Turns out you weren’t the only one that coveted a bit of praise.
“Hmm, I’m still learning,” another lick, “still gotta figure out what you like.”
“Doctors and their case studies, huh.” He chuckled against your pussy, and it had you jolting forward with a whimper.
“Nice to know you’ve still got jokes even when I’m eating you out.” His efforts redoubled before you could actually make another one. For a while, it was just you trying and failing to catch your breath until he slowed down again. Your hand reached for the one that was digging into your thigh bringing it up so that his fingers could wrap around your breast. He was close enough to feel the rapid drumming of your heart, and you could feel his own heavy pulse from where your hand was wrapped around his wrist.
His pace slowed down, desperate to drag this out, desperate to fuck you with his tongue. “God Jack.” It was guttural, you didn’t even know your voice could reach a pitch that deep, fading into a whimper. “I-I wanna make you feel good too Jack.” This was new to you, the focus, the attention, the drive to make sure that you feel divine.
Your eyes focused on the movement of his hips as he grinded himself into the couch, his lips parting, air blowing on your pussy. “Oh baby, you have no idea how good I feel right now.”
“Fuck, it’s-it’s never…” It was almost embarrassing, the way you couldn’t even complete a sentence.
“Never what?”
“It’s never been this good.” A compliment and a confession all in one. How could you have known it’d make you emotional, tears stinging at your eyes that you tried to blink away. You couldn’t look at him now, but everything still felt so good.
His arms wrapped around you as best as he could with his mouth being occupied. A tight hug, part of you wished for tighter, for him to crush you against him. “I know baby, I know…”
Your other hand reached down to bury into his curls, which had become unruly throughout this entire ordeal, but they were oh so soft. The groan he let out when you tugged made your back arch, thighs spreading open even further. Jack wasted no time in occupying the space, pressing himself even closer, smothering himself in your pussy. “M’gonna make sure you know what it’s like to be taken care of.” Why did that almost sound like a threat?
“Please, Jack baby, please.”
“You can let go, I’m not going anywhere. Want you to know exactly where I want to be.” Between your thighs, in your arms, standing behind you in support. His voice was husky, a gentle, hard-edged promise. Your hands couldn’t seem to figure out which part of him to hold onto. One entwined with his on your thigh, the other held onto the side of his face, holding his cheek in your palm. It was an entirely new sensation to feel the muscles of his jaw moving beneath your fingertips as he worked to bring you over the edge.
His mouth lifted to press a wet kiss against your palm before diving back down, getting lost in his task. “Need you to come on my face sweetheart, need to feel it.” Your brain zeroed in on that word, need, need, need, and fuck if you didn’t need it more.
He didn’t let up until you were tugging too harshly at his hair. Your heightened gasps echoed in his living room, a few bursts of disbelieving laughter mixed in. His hand coming up to rest against the middle of your chest, slowly rubbing small circles into your skin. “Breathe baby, breathe.”
You were worried you might cry again once you finally caught your breath, once you finally settled, but you buried it down. “Thank you.”
His head shook at your soft gratitude. “You don’t have to thank me for that,” he said through soft laughter.
Jack was a bit surprised at your strength, attempting to pull him up so that you could wrap your arms around his shoulders. “Oh no, I really, really, do. I hate stroking your ego, but fuck that was…amazing.” Both of you were laughing now.
“Ridiculous,” he teasingly mumbled against your collarbone. “Just you wait, I’ve got plans for you now that I’ve got a sense for what you like.”
You brushed away a curl that had stuck to his forehead, “Hmm, what about you?”
“Me? I’m good baby, trust me.”
It was like a foggy memory finally clearing up. You remembered his groans getting louder, his hands molding into your skin, the slight whimper. “Did you…”
It was him that couldn’t meet your eyes this time. “Yeah, yeah, sorry…”
“Jack baby, please don’t apologize, that’s really fucking hot.” You had to tease him, how could you not? This was a big first for you. “But I know damn well I don’t taste that good, so do you just really love eating pussy or…”
His finger was tracing over a blossoming purple mark above your breast. “Ohhh, I beg to differ. I’d have you with my coffee everyday if I could.” He winked at you, and it tempted you to push his head back down for another taste, “and yes, I do love eating pussy thank you very much, yours especially.” His teeth nipped at your shoulder, causing you to let out a surprised grunt and playfully push him away
He just pulled you closer, “But–but it was, it was actually the way you were holding me while I was doing it, if that makes sense. Feeling your fingers in my hair–fuck it felt good baby–but when you reached down to hold my jaw, your thumb against my cheek, drove me fucking crazy sweetheart.” In his mind, he was planning on making you come at least once more before you got off this couch. He was already warming you up to the idea with his mouth, “What time do you have to be at work tomorrow?”
Unwilling to fully break away from you, he left a few kisses against your jaw so you could answer. “Not until ten thankfully,” you glanced over at the clock on his stove, seeing that it was past twelve already. “Shit, it’s late, I should probably get home before Trinity brings out the searchlight.” Usually, you’d already be in bed by now, but the hours had slipped by unknowingly between the two of you.
He was fully prepared to get up and change his pants to go take you home, but he was selfish and not ready to give you up for the night just yet. “Yeah…or you could stay, text her that you’re okay, and I can bring you back tomorrow morning before you have to get ready. I make a pretty good breakfast sandwich too.”
Spending the night on the first date would be another new one for you. The desire to spend a few more hours in his arms already had you deciding that you’d stay for a whole week if he asked. “Oh, I’m definitely not doubting your capabilities after tonight. Will there be coffee included?”
How is that even a question? The look he gave you asked before leaning in to kiss you as best he could through his smile. “Mhm, told you I wanted to have you with my coffee in the morning.”
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pairing: jack abbot x plus-size! santos' sister! reader
summary: trinity is in the middle of a double and is desperate enough to have her sister show up at her job to bring her food. (takes place between seasons 1 & 2)
word count: 5.1 k ⚕♡
warning: y'all this one got away from me, it was just supposed to be a cute abbot x reader but sibling angst got mixed in and now we have this. reader is 12 years older than trinity so age gap, no smut just fluff and angst but if y'all like it than there may be some more in the future!
You couldn’t be prouder of your baby sister. But if you were to ever tell her that to her face, she would probably punch you. The past week has been an inescapable nightmare for her; they were down a few staff members, which had her picking up the slack for the next month while replacements were found. That’s how you found yourself at the farthest entry of the ambulance bay, balancing a tray half-filled with two different types of lumpia and okoy, there was some chicken mixed in there as well.
“Dude, what the hell are you doing back there?” You looked towards the sliding doors and saw Trinity calling out to you.
“It didn’t feel right going all the way down!” It honestly felt wrong to even be this close to the hospital without going through the front entrance.
She waved her arms like she was directing air traffic. “Hurry up and get down here, I’m starving!” No way in hell were you running, you were carrying precious cargo, but you did pick up the pace for her sake. “What took you so long?”
You held up the tray, “Uh, I was finishing up the food.” The aluminum pan was handed over, and she almost dropped it from the unexpected weight.
She looked at you wide-eyed, “Jesus, why did you make so much?”
You had gotten into a groove, and it felt nice to make familiar recipes. “Figured I’d make enough for you and your coworkers since I had access to the big kitchen at work. That’s if you choose not to be greedy, of course, if nothing else, leftovers.”
“None of them deserve your cooking,” she remarked as the sliding doors opened up to the emergency department.
“Except you?”
“Except me.”
An older blonde woman called from behind the desk. “Trinity, you’re needed in room two now.”
Your sister held up the tray like it would cover for her. “But Dana food…”
Dana just shrugged with a small laugh, “Sorry kid.”
Trinity was already rushing towards room two. “Alright, fine, can my sister stay with you for a minute?”
“Sure, your sister can stay. Nice to meet you sweetie.”
“Nice to meet–” the tray of food was dropped back into your arms without warning. “Nice to meet you too.”
She grabbed a stack of papers and knocked them against the desk to straighten them out. “Hate to say it but it’s the first time I’m hearing about you.”
You gave her a ‘what can you do about it look.’ It was normal at this point. “If you look up mystery in the dictionary, you’d see a picture of her underneath.” Sometimes it hurt that your sister never talked about you. Especially when you would mention her and her accomplishments to anyone who would listen. But you also couldn’t blame her for wanting to keep her private life separate in a workplace like this.
There was a huff of laughter behind you, and suddenly, a warm body was leaning against the counter next to you.
“That has to be the most accurate description I’ve heard of her.” Holy shit, you thought hot doctors only existed in medical dramas, either that or you’ve just never had the pleasure of meeting one like this. Silver fox personified, god he’s gorgeous. “So Santos’ sister, huh?”
You had to shake yourself back to life. “Y-yeah, you know I feel like I should be offended, but I would have been more surprised if she had mentioned me before.” You finally introduced yourself, balancing the tray so that one hand was free.
His hand was strong, steady, calloused, gosh, he has really, really nice hands. “Dr. Abbot.”
He fits the bill, and right into your fantasies, woah, down girl. “Ahhh, the famous Dr. Abbot, don’t tell her I said this, but Trinity thinks you’re pretty cool, and that is high praise right there.”
He did a small playful fist pump, “I knew I could still relate to the kids.”
Someone likes to use old-man humour, don’t they? “Probably better than I can at this point.”
He looked out towards his younger residents, “comes with experience…” his remark trailed off, staring again at you like there’s a question unanswered.
God, I probably look like a mess, you thought. Leggings that had a hole in both knees and an oversized volunteer shirt with about a dozen bleach stains screamed put together. You can hear your mother ‘you should always have makeup on, never know who you’re gonna meet.’ Damn, maybe she was right about some things. He’s staring. Why is he still staring? “Do I have something on my face?”
A short cough from him, clearing his throat and breaking his gaze. “Uh, n-no, sorry, you just look really familiar. Don’t tell me I’ve treated you here before.” Oh, if only you were so lucky.
Thankfully, nothing had landed you in the hospital since moving to Pittsburgh with Trinity. Though now you feel like you should probably knock on some wood to keep up that winning streak. “Definitely not, but now that I’m thinking about it, so do you…oh wait, I know, the uh, the Veterans Center!”
He smiled and snapped his fingers, “That’s it, you’re with the Meals on Wheels crew, right?”
“That’s me, we try to help get them set up with different plans.”
“It’s good work you’re doing there.” Lord is everything he says laced with such sincerity? He seemed like the type of person to choose every word carefully, to make sure it means something.
You threw the compliment back, “It’s good work you’re doing here.” As if what you were doing could compare to his work, to your sister's work.
“Just doing the best we can.” Something tells you his best goes above and beyond the normal. Something also tells you that you could become addicted to the small uptick at the corner of his mouth. So subtle, a blink and you’ll miss it moment.
“That’s about all you can do some days.”
The silence shared between the two of you was charged, the background noise of the ED fading in and out the more seconds passed. Neither of you was aware of the small crowd that formed behind the desk.
Trinity popped up behind Abbot, hand sanitizer being generously applied to her hands, before she scootched between you two. It cut the moment completely like a faint record scratch, well, if there had actually been a moment and you weren’t imagining things. The cover of the tray was lifted and nearly smacked you in the face. “God, that was ridiculous. I’m starving.” She had already picked up two chicken skewers and an okoy fritter before glaring at the vultures surrounding them.
“Why didn’t you tell us you have a sister?” A woman with glasses and a very put-together braid asked. No doubt this was Mel.
“I have a sister, there, now you know.” She responded mid-bite, determined to end the conversation there. Something she’d once said to you had always stuck. ‘The less people know, the better,’ it’s a motto she seemed determined to live by.
Your arms were starting to get tired from carrying this tray. “She talks about you all so much, I feel like introductions aren’t even needed at this point.” Based off descriptions you were sure you could match up the names to the faces, but one you hoped to run into was the infamous Garcia, but you knew that would be unlikely, life of a surgeon and all that.
“Shut the fuuuck up.” She said through clenched teeth and a mouthful of chicken.
You gently nudged her, and she subtly did it back like it was muscle memory. “Aww come on, it’s been forever since I’ve gotten to embarrass you in front of your friends.”
“Were you adopted?” Tired eyes, curls, ahh, Huckleberry.
“Was she?” Small, youthful, definitely Javadi.
There was murder in your sister's eyes. “Don’t both of you have patients?”
The mythical Dr. Robby seemed to appear out of thin air. “Don’t you Santos? And I think foods supposed to be eaten in the lounge.”
She took another bite of chicken, almost mocking, like she was saying, ‘you’re just jealous cause I actually have decent food.’ “Thought you said eat when you can?”
You opened the lid again, the smell hitting every nose in the vicinity, setting off a few stomach growls. “You’re welcome to have one, please don’t let her hog it all.” You felt a short warning smack to your side.
Robby picked up one of the lumpia before taking the tray out of your hands. “Hmm, you can stay.” He gave Dr. Abbot a look as he passed by, taking a bite out of the roll. Prompting Abbot to take one for himself before the tray was carted off to the lounge for Santos to take care of later.
Your sister looked over your shoulder, “shit I gotta go take care of this, find me before you leave.” She was already running down the hall, shovelling down the rest of her food, your soft ‘okay’ following after.
“I’m still not convinced you two are siblings.” Dr. Abbot said, taking a bite of the food he was able to snag.
“Wanna see my driver's license?”
He groaned from the taste, eyes closed, head back, and he even did that small bend that people do when something is just that good. “Hmm, no, there it is, same snark.”
“Nobody ever believes we’re siblings, we’ve got different dads, not to mention the twelve years between us.” There are a couple of other reasons that run through your mind, but those are best kept to yourself.
“Well, the more I stand here, the more I start to see it.” Interesting.
“In a good or a bad way?”
He took the last bite. “All the good parts, I promise, you both have a very caring heart.”
Very interesting. “Huh, caring heart typically isn’t used to describe my sister.”
“I like to think we’ve worked together enough that I can see it, even when it’s hidden under all her spikes.” It surprised you to hear this kind of praise from someone above your sister; she had always had issues with authority. Constantly complained about the teachers and professors that she’d had over the years. Except for Dr. Abbot, he must be one hell of a teacher.
“She really does care about her job. It’s nice to see that she’s got a good group of people behind her.”
“That’s the Pitt crew for you.” There it was again, that small movement, and there goes the silence again. Sometimes it’s better not to scramble to fill it. “Hey, I uh, I think we used to work with Meals on Wheels before Covid happened, but I think it would be worth starting up again for the patients. I know it would help out a lot of the people we see.”
Work, thank god, something you can confidently talk about. “Yeah, definitely, I’ll talk to my supervisor and see if I could maybe work as a representative for the hospital.” It would be a good chance to see Trinity more…and Dr. Abbot…no bad, bad brain.
“Oh, I’d hate to add more to your plate.” Where does he hold all that sincerity?
“Nah, it wouldn’t be a problem at all, most likely they’d have me swing by a couple of days a week to review forms for anyone who was interested.”
He crossed his arms, fully leaning into you, or is he leaning into the counter? And why is it getting harder to breathe right now? “Well, I know for a fact we’d be lucky to have you.”
Once again, Trinity snuck up on you. “Alright, all done, thanks for bringing dinner by.” She gave you a quick one-armed hug before practically pushing you away like the hug wasn’t her idea in the first place.
“Okayyy…well, I’ll get out of your hair, really nice meeting you all, and I’ll see you at home Trinity.” You gave a wave to the few residents and nurses that had stuck around the desk.
“Bye Sissy,” the term of endearment seemed to slip out of her sleep-deprived mouth before her brain could catch it. You could see the way she braced herself for war as her coworkers slowly turned their heads towards her. Shit-eating grins on all of their faces.
“Bye Sissy,” you echoed back, adding fuel to the fire.
The month passed by, and like clockwork, you would bring Trinity and the Pitt crew whatever you could to help feed them. After the first visit if Jack was available it meant that the tray you were carrying would be out of your hands the moment he saw you. It made your heart flutter, his fingers always brushed against yours. He had to know what he was doing.
Honestly, it just felt nice to have other people outside of your work to talk to, and you wondered why you hadn’t been doing this before.
Until one day, something snapped the fragile routine.
You were speaking with Jack, and he insisted on a first-name basis the next time you stopped by to bring Trinity dinner. The two of you were discussing the positives, among other things, patient satisfaction with the program inclusion, and what you were planning for the rest of the night, while he’s happily trapped here.
Suddenly, your arm was yanked backwards, “Dr. Abbot, I need to borrow her for a second.”
Trinity was a lot stronger than she looked, not a lot of people knew that until she decided to reveal it. Like she was now, by dragging you towards the staff lounge. “Hey, hey, are you trying to dislocate my arm?”
“Oh, trust me, you’d know if I was.” Oh, she’s pissed, but why, you have no idea.
You crossed your arms across your chest once she finally dropped the death grip that she had. “Okay, what the hell is your problem?”
“This has to stop.”
“You just gestured to all of me. What does that even mean?”
She poked her finger against your chest, dangerously close to your tit, which she knows is sensitive. “You, you coming here, bringing food for everybody, and whatever this thing is that you have going on with Abbot, it has to stop.”
That stopped you in your tracks because nothing inappropriate was going on with Abbott, not that you wouldn’t mind if something inappropriate were happening. “Trinity, there’s nothing–”
She poked you again, “Don’t bullshit me alright. This is my job, and you cannot come in here and fuck it up.”
You were brought back to a party that you didn’t know about and killed when you walked in the door. Back when she was being reckless and angry. “I wasn’t trying to–”
Trinity was on a rampage right now, and you were the target. “And I don’t care if you’re desperate, pick someone else besides one of my fucking attendings.” This was humiliation at its finest, she wasn’t trying to be quiet or private, she wanted people to hear.
You took a deep breath in, trying to ground yourself. “I’ve only ever come here to bring you food Trin, and for work, I see that you’re working doubles on the calendar, and I know you don’t eat like you should–”
She threw her hands up. “You’re not fucking mom okay! I’m not your problem, and you need to leave so I can do my fucking job!” She stormed out of the break room, a “what” thrown out to anyone who was looking her way.
You waited a second before adjusting your bag on your shoulder and walking out as well, head down, the refusal to make eye contact with anyone evident. A tear didn’t fall until the sliding doors closed behind you.
Trinity never thought that she would feel this hesitancy to enter her home again. But the weight of an apology was on her shoulders. Robby had chewed her out after her spectacle in the break room, told her to keep the family drama out of the ED, or her sister wouldn’t be allowed back. She didn’t want that, she never wanted that. The place somehow felt lighter when you showed up, helped make everything not feel so suffocating.
But the look that Abbot gave her today just pissed her off, fuck that man and his obvious crush on you. If he wasn’t going to ask you out then he needed to knock off the goo-goo eyes at work. And they wanted to say that she was being unprofessional.
Every movement was slow as she unlocked the door and stepped inside. She didn’t expect you to be sitting on the couch, an episode of Rick and Morty playing on the TV. She remembered you letting her watch an episode when she was way too young. “Hey…I brought home takeout.”
You didn’t say anything as she set the bag down, but you could hear a soft, annoyed sigh behind you. “What episode are you watching?” She knew exactly what episode it was. “Are you not gonna say anything?” No, you were not. “Alright, fuck, I’m sorry…I shouldn’t have snapped at you today. That was really shitty of me.” Trinity Santos, the master of apologies, ladies and gentlemen.
“So you still meant everything you said?” There was no move to look away from the screen.
“I shouldn’t have brought mom up, that wasn’t fair to you–”
Your head shook in disbelief. “You have said that to me before so many times Trin, it really doesn’t phase me at this point. I know it’s your go-to when I’m ‘smothering’ you I just–I care. You know I care right? I’m not trying to be…”
It was obvious that she was reaching for the right words. “I know you’re not, it’s just–it’s hard sometimes…you’ve always been more of a mom to me, and now that I’m older. It feels like I’m having to relearn how to be your sister.”
It made a lot of sense. Part of you hated that you had to be an adult at such a young age, but you wouldn’t give up your sister for the world. “I think I’m having to learn that too. I didn’t mean to encroach on your space or your work, I actively tried not to be in your way–”
She cut you off, “You were never in the way, it’s actually been nice having you there, and you genuinely seem to enjoy that place, which is crazy to me since I’m itching to get out of there.”
You nudged her, and thankfully, she nudged back. “You enjoy it too.”
“Yeah, I think, I think I just got so used to it being you and me that I didn’t really bother to have friends at work in the beginning. And then you started being all buddy-buddy with everyone, and I thought that’s it, she’s gonna be everybody’s best friend, and I’m gonna be alone again.” You always thought that was just the way she liked it, on her own. ‘Nobody to disappoint her that way,’ she would say.
You paused the TV, sensing the shift. “I didn’t know you felt that way.”
She scoffed, “How could I talk to you about feeling lonely?”
Now you were the one scrambling, “Trinity…I’ve been alone a really long time–”
“Yeah cause you choose to be.” Maybe your sister does need a psych evaluation.
“Choose to be, I’m sorry, you think I choose to be alone?” She nodded her head like it was obvious, “No…no, that’s you, I don’t choose this.”
She looked like she was ready to ditch this conversation now. “Okay fuck you. If you’re so alone, go out and find someone.” It’s almost like you could hear your mom's voice in your ear, ‘you have such a pretty face, if you just had form like your sisters, you’d be a knockout.’ ‘Of course you’re gonna be alone if you never put yourself out there.’ How were you supposed to put yourself out there when she had been putting you down for so much of your life?
Now your words had bite and sharpness to them. “You say that like it’s so easy. It is for you, it’s not for me, and it never has been.”
“What are you talking about? You never had a problem with making friends.” Friends that never stayed in contact, not one from high school or college, and it sure as hell wasn’t from a lack of trying on your part.
“Yeah, and you never had a problem finding someone that wanted to be with you. There are different kinds of loneliness Trin.”
It took a second for her to fully understand what you meant. “Oh, oh, I didn’t realize you…missed that.” Honestly your last relationship was so long ago that you felt like a born again virgin somedays.
“Yeah, I’m not a nun. I just don’t talk to you about it cause you’ve never had that problem before.”
Trinity was tired of standing, so she reached into the fridge to grab some beer to go alongside the takeout. She handed one to you before placing the bag on the coffee table and sitting beside you. “Yeah, just a problem with people staying.”
You cracked open both bottles while she started to unbox the food. “To be fair, you’ve never asked anyone to stay before.”
Her shoulders shrugged. “True, probably something I need to be in therapy for.”
“You and me both Sissy.”
“I hope you know, I don’t actually care about you and Abbot, I mean, I do I–I want you to be happy. You deserve it, you’ve taken care of me my whole life and you–you deserve someone who wants to take care of you too. And if that’s Abbot, then good for you, I guess.” What a world it would be if Jack Abbot wanted to take care of you. Maybe for a brief moment you thought he might have been interested, but after spending some time with him, you’re sure that subtle flirting is just his default mode. Nothing else has really hinted at interest or even desire, which you wouldn’t be able to spot in a person anyway.
Even though you wish it wasn’t true, “Trinity Jack’s not interested in me like that.” He probably wants someone in the same field anyway; it’s not like you’d understand half of what he talks about at work, you barely understand Trinity some days.
She took off the lid to her curry. “Uh, yes, he is.”
Accepting the takeout container from her, you pressed yourself against the back of the couch. “You sound awfully sure about that.”
She looked at you like she couldn’t believe someone could be so oblivious. “Okay, I’m starting to think that you’ve been alone because you’re just blind to when people like you, honestly, I should’ve caught on to that sooner.”
As sad as it was, it still made you laugh. “Well, can you blame me? I could never tell if it was a joke or not.” Boys had always been unnecessarily cruel to you growing up.
“Just…take my word for it…he likes you.”
You wanted to believe her so badly. It would be so easy to. But even if you did believe her, what would you do with the information? It’s not like you’d make a move, no, you’ve done it before, and it never works. That’s why you decided that if someone actually liked you, then it would have to be on them. At least nothing gets lost in translation that way. “I wouldn’t want to make things weird at work for you.”
She finished about a third of her beer. “Things are already weird, trust me, you’re fine. Listen, if he asks you out, just promise me you’ll say yes, at least give it a shot.”
Who would have thought your baby sister would try to set you up with her attending? Just what was the world coming to? “Yeah, that’s if he asks me out, which is a big if.”
A slow, smug smile crept onto her face. “I’ll bet you a hundred bucks that he asks you out tomorrow when you bring me lunch.”
“You and I both know you don’t have that money.” One would think being a doctor would pay better, but the world’s becoming too expensive even for them.
“That’s how confident I am.”
“I’m thinking you just want an excuse for me to bring you lunch tomorrow.”
The next day, you just ended up bringing the damn chicken soup in a crockpot since containers were a hassle. It seemed to be the right call, since the cold had brought in a wave of sickness throughout the ED.
Hands came up from your left and took the crockpot from you, both of you on a familiar path to the break room. You sure would know those biceps anywhere. Not that you were objectifying him in that way, of course not, you would never. “She returns…you know, we had a bet going on whether you’d be back around.”
You thanked him per usual and asked, “Oh yeah? Who won?”
He had a sort of playful scowl on his face. “Whitaker, he bet that Santos would apologize after work and you’d be back the next day. Kinda scary how well that kid knows her.”
“She’d never admit it, but she has a soft spot for him.” They reached the breakroom and Jack set soup down on the counter close to the outlet. You reached out to plug it in expecting him to take a step back. Only he didn’t, he just stood there without a care in the world.
Now the bastard was smirking at you, “Want me to get that for you?”
Come on, pull up your big girl panties and fucking flirt with this man. You have the approval of your sister of all people. A leap of faith had you leaning in, “That’s okay I got it.” Your arm brushed against his chest, and lord, that is one sturdy man, of course you could tell that just by looking at him, but to actually feel it. “Can I ask what you ended up betting?”
He leaned in even closer, “I was not a betting man this time around.”
“How come?”
His hand reached out, an inch away from your hip, a question, ‘am I allowed to?' So you leaned into the touch. “Didn’t want to take the chance that the outcome would be longer than I wanted.” That struck you, the way he said it, so simple, just a fact trapped in the room.
“You got lucky then, Trinity and I didn’t speak for three months straight one time.”
The smallest tug had you jolting forward, quickly trying to catch yourself. Jack had you right where he wanted you. “Oh, now I would’ve missed you way too much.”
“You mean my cooking.”
“That too but mostly you.”
“Good to know,” now’s when you say ‘I would have missed you too,’ go ahead. “Make sure you get some of the soup then, who knows when Trinity might decide to banish me again.” What the fuck is wrong with you?
He gave you a full smile, one of his rare ones, as his hand squeezed your side. You used to shrink away from touches like that, but from him, every part of you just softly pleaded more, more. “Perish the thought,” he looked over at the pot, “I can’t remember the last time I had homemade chicken soup.”
“Hope it lives up to the memory if you remember it.”
Jack has a silent intensity about him, and it keeps dragging you in. He’s just staring, a million questions he could be asking, and somehow he’s asking each one simultaneously. “Hmm,” even his ‘hmms’ have a vocabulary of their own. “You know, if you ever get tired of cooking, I’d be happy to do it for you.”
Is this–is this him asking you out? “Oh, you’d cook for me, huh?” Friends have dinner together, hell you’ve been doing it a lot this past month. But friends don’t hold onto someone like this and they definitely don’t keep glancing down at your lips like they’re seconds away from kissing you. Fuck, you wish he would.
The hand on your waist glides to your spine and his hands have a way of making you feel small, and incredibly weak in the knees. “You sound surprised.”
“Just thought you lived off of adrenaline and protein shakes at this point.”
“I’ve been known to make a mean steak.” The mental image of Jack standing over a grill just about does you in. It’s almost sad. When’s the last time someone cooked for you?
“Hmm, I’m very picky about my steak.”
That smirk makes you want to reach up and kiss it away. “As am I, you have to be. You free tomorrow?”
What the hell is happening right now? “Uh, yeah, yeah, I am.”
“Great, so I’ll pick you up at six.”
“I’ll bring dessert.” It was unmistakable, the heat, the way his eyes wandered slowly across you. You hadn’t meant it that way, or maybe deep down you did, maybe this is what it was to actually flirt. Maybe you were even good at it.
“Can’t wait.” He took a step closer, christ, he wanted to kiss you. Just a quick one, something to tide him over during his shift, but he knew it wouldn’t be quick, it wouldn’t be enough, and it wouldn’t be appropriate for the workplace.
Thankfully and annoyingly at the same time, one of the nurses came through the door asking for him before he could give in. “Sorry sweetheart.” He felt like he had to pry himself away from you, and you were just as desperate to hold on, but you knew better.
“Jeez, do your job Dr. Abbot,” you playfully teased. Secretly, it was a way to also catch your breath. But little did you know what that did to him. Eyes followed his back as he walked towards the door, his hand gripped the frame, and he looked so close to turning back around, but he knew better. His head shook with a small laugh, and then he was off.
It was just you and the soup now, you checked the heat once more and made your way towards the exit. There was an overwhelming need to get some fresh air and run the last ten minutes over and over in your mind.
Behind you, the almost evil voice of your sister whispered, “If you could send me that hundred bucks now, that would be great.”
a/n: hope you liked it, please let me know if you want to see more of this pairning! also i think I might start strictly writing plus-size characters from now on cause why the hell not, there's never enough of them! ⚕♡
here's my masterlist if you're insterested ــــ٨ـ🩺
summary: with your recent stress levels, you haven’t been sleeping much. this is a problem, because if you don’t rest, clark doesn’t rest. put it this way: without you, clark is as helpless as a puppy. a puppy who needs his toy back.
word count: 2.2k
contains: fluff & smut. reader works at the daily planet, clark is literally a human dog. softdom!clark, slightly condescending but full of praise, smothering with love, somewhat bratty!clark also. reader has a tease streak (hot). *clitstim f!receiving, excessive use of pet names. *no use of y/n
a/n: never go to college if you want to write again (kidding, go to college if you want). sorry for being so slow with my updates. more to come, promise. enjoy this half-toothrot half-smut mishmash of requests- thank you requesters for the love. :D
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Clark couldn’t sleep without you. This was entirely your fault, obviously.
There was just something about you that worked for him. Like medicine, or clockwork. The feeling of your soft hips sinking into his mattress, and the way it dipped under your weight, making his body roll just an inch your way. It was as if the universe was pushing him towards you perpetually, a very loving boulder. Your scent probably had something to do with it, too. The warmth, the sugar and spice and cottony-freshness of your lotion, ruined the smell of clean sheets. If he was ever in a bed that wasn’t his own or yours, he couldn’t quiet the part of his mind that was hung up on how good you smelled. It was a depressant that slowed his lungs and sucked him into REM. Not to mention the low, soft sounds of your breathing. Or the way your feet brushed his under the covers. Or how it felt to have your nails gently scratching just above his belly button, pawing like a kitten, making sure he was there. Or how pretty you whined when he got his hands all over you… What was he supposed to do, sleep without you? It just wasn’t possible. You were more important for sleep than the bed itself.
But lately, he hasn’t been sleeping. And that is because you haven’t been sleeping.
Clark knows it’s not something he can control. Your stress was a result of the world, not your own doing. Your job was out to get you both, but the let-it-roll-off-your-back gene was something that Clark inherited, and you didn’t. Every rejected article from Perry, every vetoed edit, every pitch for a new column or a shot at a simple byline– they ate at you. While Clark could live without being the best reporter in the world, you wanted to rip your hair out. Clark’s purpose was saving the world, but yours was writing. Measly human purpose, huh? Reporting the truth. Shining light on good people. And you were good– really good. It was just that damn job, stupid Perry, stupid bureaucracy keeping you down. Three years until you get a solo byline, for now stick to the obits, Perry said. Every week. It made you sick, and it made Clark sleepy.
You’ve been staying up into the wee hours of the morning for weeks now, trying to strike a golden story that might override the rules. You write and crunch up and throw out and start again, over and over. You’ve been through two composition books and left nearly one hundred Word documents unfinished on Clark’s desktop. It’s showing everywhere. Rings of spilled coffee on various surfaces in his room trace your steps. Your undereyes were almost as purple as your eyeshadow. Your nails were chipped and bitten. You even seemed to be losing the littlest bit of weight, and that had every alarm going off in Clark’s head, because a pound off your plump figure felt worse than losing a war. Therefore, empty plates with crumbs from muffins and dregs of ice cream marked the places Clark had dragged you from writing to feed you something to preserve you.
Because you haven’t been sleeping, Clark is off his game. More than twice he’s snapped at Chloe, and he accidentally sneezed and shattered a window at work. He’s pouty, he’s grumbling, and he misses you. Don’t underestimate the power of a desperate man.
Tonight was just like the last handful. You were slumped over his bedroom desk, half-dozed in your palm, trying to find a different word to use that would more eloquently describe a broken stoplight. Frizzy hair was in your eyes, or what was left open of them. Your shoulders looked like they were frowning. Clark was sitting up in bed with a book in his lap, nowhere close to reading but intensely watching you, and feeling the spot above his belly button itching to be scratched. He couldn’t take it anymore. He tossed the book into the covers to be swallowed up by the sheet-sea, and he padded across the room. His gentle palms slid down your arms and up again, and he gathered your hair behind your neck to pull it away from the skin.
“Give up, baby,” he murmured, pressing a kiss to your temple.
“I can’t.”
“Not on your career. Just give up on this one article, just for tonight. You’re exhausted, bunny.”
“I”m fine, I just need to finish this.”
Clark huffed, brows furrowing in frustration. You smelled so good, and you were withholding yourself from him. Couldn't you see that he was going through withdrawals? Itchy, cold, uncomfortable withdrawals from not kissing your collarbones and squeezing your thighs? This was prison. Personal punishment for not being in control of your universe and making you wonderfully rich and satisfied.
Clark slumped all his weight over your back and frowned. “I’m dying here.”
“Don’t be so dramatic,” you grunted, his heavy body smushing your torso against the desk. “Get off. You’re like a big puppy.”
“But I miss you,” he whimpered, nuzzling your neck. His hands pawed at your hips.
“Clark, I swear I’m almost done.”
He was growing impatient. Clark lifted his head to peer over the computer screen. All you had written was this:
Clark snickered to himself and huffed, swatting your hand away and closing the document out.
“Hey! I was working on that!”
“Not anymore,” he determined, and with a quick movement, he scooped under your armpits and lifted you from the chair.
You yelped and wriggled a bit as he tossed you onto the mattress, the bedframe creaking. Rumpled and annoyed, you lifted your mussed head of hair and pouted. “What the hell?"
Clark sighed with relief as he crawled onto the mattress, eager to get you back in his desired environment. You weren’t fast enough; he grabbed your ankles and tugged you down, clambering over you and plopping all his weight on your body. He smiled when he heard your quiet little “oof!”
“You haven’t slept for days, honey,” he mumbled, pressing kisses over your tummy, pushing the hem of your shirt up to reveal a strip of pudgy skin. “Haven’t smiled, haven’t touched me… I’m going crazy. I can’t sleep if you don’t. I can’t live without you.”
“Clark,” you complained softly, but there was very little discontent in the tone. It was hard to be anything but content with his warm mouth stamping your skin. Your heavy hands rested in his hair, curling the locks around your fingers, petting and messing as he smushed his cheek against your belly.
“I mean it,” he peeks up at you, eyes wide and pleading as a Christmas card.
“You really are like a puppy,” you smiled a little, “puppy.”
Clark flushed a bit and nuzzled into your hip. “Don’t call me that.”
“Why not? You’ve got a million for me. Bunny, honey, sugar, sweetie, baby, lovie, pumpkin–”
“Yeah, and they’re all true,” he huffed, crawling up your body until he could bracket his arms by your shoulders. He traced his nose along your rounded jaw before leaving a soft smooch beneath the ear.
A sated little hum escaped your throat. “I have to write something good,” you mumbled.
“You already have. Be with me for a while.”
“I’m with you every day.”
“I haven’t had a good night’s sleep in over two weeks, bunny,” Clark whispered, snoodling your neck. “Please don’t torture me any longer.”
You chuckled softly, watching how desperately he wrapped his arms around you, snaking them under your back and hauling you into his chest. Clark was a paperweight of a man. You wouldn’t get far if you tried. And if you were being honest with yourself, you knew he was right. You had to stop before you ran out of juice completely. You were exhausted. You wanted sleep, and you wanted him. You never slept better than when he was there to whisper to you, to touch you, to make you feel right again…
“Okay, puppy,” you sighed.
You felt the curl of his grin against your clavicle, and suddenly the dog’s ears perked up. “You hungry? Need something? I have ice cream. Ma left pie when she came by earlier. Or I can put on a movie, we still have that copy of Clueless, I never dropped it off at the Blockbuster-”
“No, stop, shh,” you giggled, “I just want to sleep.”
“Thank God,” he wheezed, and artfully rolled over, taking you with him.
You fell right into place, hand above his belly button and face smushed in his chest, breathing in the woodsy smell of his old tee. The rise and fall of his happy chest was enough to make you forget why you were working so hard in the first place.
“I missed this,” he grinned.
“Clearly.”
“Don’t get smart with me,” he looked down at you, petting your hair. “I love you.”
“I love you too,” you smirked, tilting your head back.
Clark’s heart swelled at the sight of your tired eyes, because there was some light there, and it was his. He tugged you up closer so he could slot his lips against yours. Nothing wild– just soft, lazy motions, sleepy jaws pushing and pulling, little bits of saliva collecting in the divot of your chin which his tongue kept tidy. His eager lips crossed your face and down your neck again, and as he felt your heartbeat pick up against his chest, he knew that you needed him just as much as you needed rest.
Clark suckled on the soft spot beneath your jaw that always made your breath sing, and his thumb hooked into your cheek, giving you something to keep busy with. The heat of your tongue sent pins and needles down to his knuckle.
“You’re a good writer,” he praised, nipping at the crease of your neck. “You write so well, you’re so smart. I love you, honey.”
“I love you, too…”
“You’re so pretty when you're tired,” he kept on, kissing his way back to your mouth, pulling your bottom lip down with a wet thumb. “My poor baby, always workin’ so hard. You just need a little break, yeah? Just need me to tell you when to stop, huh, bunny?”
“Yeah,” you whimpered, brain and eyes fuzzing over. Your hands twisted in his shirt and you let him hitch your knee over his hip, squeezing you flush between him and the bed. His lethargic kisses felt like they were slowly tapping your lungs for air.
“Yeah, I know, honey,” he cooed, pushing your hair back from your face and shutting your eyelids with his kisses. “You want me to make sure you fall asleep, sweetheart?”
Your skin began to flush, he could see the pink peeking from under the collar of your (his) shirt. “Maybe a little,” you breathed, mind already reeling with anticipation. You should’ve known he wasn’t lying when he told you he was going insane without you.
“Okay, yeah, baby… okay…”
You sighed, unburdening yourself of the weight on your shoulders as Clark gently tucked his palm under your pajama shorts and coaxed his fingers across the collecting slickness. He purred happily and sealed his lips over yours, notching his fingers in slow circles, absolutely basking in the warmth of you that’s been missing from his nighttime routine for far too long.
“Say you love me again,” he slurred against your lips, teeth tracing your cupid’s bow.
“I love you,” you moaned, hips bucking into his touch.
“My good girl, my good bunny,” he smiled, concentrating his efforts solely on your swollen little bud, knowing it would tucker you out. “Feels good to take a break, hm?”
“Mhm… oh…”
“That’s it, there she is… c’mon, bunny girl… c’mon home for me.”
Your body twitched as heat waves rolled down your legs, the indicators of a slow and deafening orgasm weighing your limbs down. Your breathing drew deep into your lungs, and Clark kept coaxing you to sleep, fingers drawing circles over your hot skin, trailing them up to your hips to your mouth, letting you suck the mess off.
“That was a quickie. Finally feelin’ sleepy?”
“Mm,” you droned, mouth a bit slack around his fingertips. “Thank you…”
“Oh, you’re welcome, baby,” he grinned, ribs aching from the love rotting him down to the bone. “Just want you to focus on getting some rest, okay? You’re so tired… get some sleep for me, come here, honey.”
You let him collect your buzzing body in his arms and roll you back on top of him, cuddling in, careful not to move your hips too much. Your palm scratched habitually at his favorite stomach spot, and he grumbled with delight, a very, very happy puppy.
“Atta boy,” you mumbled, eyes already drooping with impending sleep.