Fit Life✌️

And then you can tell that some of them are thinking “Wow your life sucks I can’t imagine not being able to just grab dinner with my friend.” And for someone who values that, that’s totally fair. But it’s like..

The bond I have with my daughter is worth so much more than being able to go grab a beer whenever I want. A mom friend and I took the kiddos to a little farm this afternoon and watched them feed goats and chickens and pet the barn cats and they were grinning and laughing and toddler babbling to each other the WHOLE time. Do you understand the sheer fucking unbridled joy I felt? Just a little farm stand that sells eggs and lets you feed animal crackers to goats, not even a big fancy farm with hayrides or anything. They were so happy. It was pure joy. I’ve never felt happiness like what I feel when Sabrina is happy. And it doesn’t even have to be an excursion. Tonight after her bath she ran around in her little towel robe and would jump on her dad (who was laying on her play couch). Then I would hide behind our real couch and she would leap up and run to me, and I would jump out at her while she was giggle shrieking her little heart out. Over and over for 10 minutes until it was time for bed. We never had simple moments of THAT level of happiness before her.

I made another mom friend who lives a 15-20min walk from us, and she introduced me to some other moms so now we’re a friend group. We drink seltzer and chat while our kids run around the yard together. It’s so simple and so fun and fulfilling. It feels like those days back in college where you and your friends didn’t have work or class so you’d just hang out all day and not do anything crazy, but it still felt like an adventure. It’s like that, with the most adorable little person you’ve ever seen running around hugging you every so often to remind you that YOU are their favorite person in the world. It’s such a privilege.

What ever happened to “we don’t negotiate with terrorists?”

Why are we negotiating with Hamas as if they’re a legitimate government??

I did not say “Why do we care about Palestinians?” We absolutely care.

Where the fuck does a community college get off with a less than 25% acceptance rate?! Is this normal for community college??

It is the worst. You can’t imagine how much I love these two foods and literally I just want to eat an entire sheet pan full of each roasted with salt and olive oil.

Those seven years as a vegan felt like a lifetime. So much happened between 20-27, but it took forever. 27-33 happened in the blink of an eye. I blinked and I’m married, my dad is dead, I left Philly, I own my house, I am a mother. And Icarus died. Did I ever talk about that here? Not that anyone here would know Icarus, but he was our other cat. We got him possibly even the same week we stopped being vegan in 2017. And he died when Sabrina was 9 weeks old last year.

I can’t believe next month it will be six years since my dad died. I haven’t hugged my dad in six years.

But something in me is like….. You’re hurting animals. How are you going to explain this to Sabrina? Like part of me almost wants her to want to go vegan so that I can do it with her.

But other than convenience, a major reason why I won’t go vegan again right now is because I don’t want Sabrina to feel judged or influenced by me. If she wants to modify her diet, it has to be because SHE wants to modify her diet. Not because mommy does xyz.

It’s like this aggressive love that just fucking explodes in me on a daily basis. It’s not enough to love her it’s like “holy shit you’re THE CUTEST AND MOST PRECIOUS AND PURE PERSON I HAVE EVER KNOWN IM GOING TO KILL EVERYONE ELSE WHO ISNT YOU.” It’s like cute aggression on meth.

Im pretty active on Reddit because it’s the main line of communication I have with other parents, especially fellow moms. And the number of posts on there that are like “my (second) husband actively neglects my daughter while showering his own daughter with gifts everyday and makes my child eat chips for dinner. What should I do??” or something to that effect is mind boggling, heart breaking, and infuriating.

Do you understand that if an adult singled Sabrina out and made her feel bad, I would kill them? I’m serious. If someone, let alone my romantic partner???, treated my daughter that way I would end their life. I would send her away for a minute and kill them with my bare hands. There is nothing and no one that matters more than her wellbeing. Period.

I just don’t understand what happens to a person (I can guess) that makes them unable to stand up for their child. Any shred of fear, embarrassment, anything, just left my body in the last year. I sing Itsy Bitsy Spider in line at Target if I have to. I step in front of her and firmly tell old people “No don’t touch her,” (old people are so fucking grabby). I just can’t imagine being so thoroughly feeble that I’d let someone do anything to compromise any aspect of her wellbeing.