there’s nothing wrong with reality tv. i’m just not dramatic or interesting enough to be on one of those shows. i’d be one of those lads whose name people forget because they never do anything cool. you were? damn. maybe i should have watched it then. what’s it called again? you should trademark it. put it on t-shirts and merch.
your little brain is old and tired? i will come to you when i need sage advice that only grandpas can give.
you don’t just get my pot o’ gold, puck. you have to earn it. marshmallows, now that i can do. are you here in paris? i’ll bring you some in the morning. maybe i should have a child just to get upgraded to dilf status. i only have musician going on for me and it’s not as sexy.
… okay, i’m definitely watching this show now.
it was a joke, puck. have i not made it obvious that you’re the pilf (puckerman i'd like to fuck)?
i bet that's not true. you're a freaking rockstar, dude. that's gotta count for something. i think you're memorable, and i've got a shit memory. ah, see, there's my shit memory at work - i don't remember. too bad, so sad, guess you missed the boat, huh? 😔 ...you think anyone would buy them?
if you're coming to me for life advice, you might be better off just checking yourself into the nut house, dude.
earn it? i thought i just had to walk to the end of the rainbow. ...oh my god. that's a gay sex thing, isn't it? this whole time, it's been code for gay sex. my mind is blown, holy shit. nah, i'm not there yet. i've got some meetings and shit this week, but i'll be flying in next weekend. i'm pretty excited, honestly. i love spaghetti. what, like a groupie baby? don't do that to some poor kid.
...you were serious about that?




















