buns

longg time no see, it has been a while you guys! but i’ve been on nsfw twitter just loving my and many other bodies, i have also made some friends there. im pretty good other than the slight negatives of missing my ex, sleepless nights, and unhinged thoughts but overall prettyyy good.. i think 

soo i gave in and cyber stalked her. STILL VERY MUCH with her bf and it hurt seeing that but definitely not as much as i expected. part of me is actually happy i gave in because now the urge has faded, though of course i have those possessive thoughts. they’re sort of being replaced by thoughts of “yeah we’re not together but we had a bond that could and can never compare to her future bonds”.. is that narcissistic?? idk anyway im at least glad me and her were able to create a huge bond that will always be there somewhere, so i can move on knowing that

currently trying so very hard not to cyberstalk my ex rn. i had a dream earlier today during my nap about her. in the dream i was stalking her account, ironically, and i believe her pfp was very different from when i last saw it. the name “dani” was in her bio with the lock emoji. somehow me and her ended up texting. she said something along the lines of “i love you” from what i remember. maybe we were just talking about our past, but she was still very much taken. i dont know but anyway, its 4am i shouldnt be up, this is a lot, i just hope i get through it before i do something i regret

happy pride month everyone!

sorry guys i know it has been a while since i posted, i’m just really enjoying nsfw twitter lately as well as trying to make more friends in my area. one thing i can vent about is todays my ex’s birthday. i’m having so many urges to stalk her accounts but i know for sure seeing her with her boyfriend will make me absolutely jealous, i feel the jealousy brewing the more i think of it so instead i’m going to look forward to other things.. or at least try!

things have been going well so far, i can’t complain much, though i’m staying cautious considering things tend to go bad as soon as i’m doing well

i feel like the happiest saddest person to ever exist 

sooo an online friend of mine continuously goes back to their toxic ex. it both annoys/triggers me bc i used to do the same thing with my ex. i want to stop being friends with them due to it being a trigger however if it were me, i wouldn’t want a friend to leave over my decision to stay with a toxic ex. i did tell them im taking a step back bc of it so maybe i should just process then let them make their own decisions without my input??

i had the best birthday 

someone reposted me for the first time omg, that made my morning tysm @ineedtobesmaller 

update from my last post, she still hasn’t responded and its literally my birthday today. basically, all im going to do is block her number, other socials, and call it a day because i seriously do not have time to stress over her wack ass, especially on MY day

it’s been 2 days since i spoke to one of my online friends. she hasn’t reached out to me at all. i checked in with some of her friends and they haven’t heard from her either, which could be a good or bad sign. i sent a text last night and for the first couple hours it wasn’t on delivered up until this morning, so i know her phone is on, yet she hasn’t responded. this is triggering for me because i recently experienced a loss of another online friend, who she also knew, so for her to all of a sudden disappear, is sending me into a frenzy. what makes it worse is, she’s ghosted me before. it was over a situation she didn’t want to deal with. we reconnected suddenly and she has shown extreme growth so i would like to think she wouldn’t ghost me again. i hope she hasn’t. i will literally never forgive her. i feel like exploding...

i just wanna support someone and have them sleep on my b00bs

this isn’t much of a vent but if anyone needs to talk or is feeling down, i am always here to listen okay? you are not alone. 

soo im thinking of joining nsfw twitter 

this might be tmi but my panties literally will not stop riding up in between my cheeks omg its so annoying